Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts does not belong to me. Neither does the song "Hikari." Or Harry Potter. Or Bingo.. Or the Order of Cabbage This chapter is for you guys.


Episode Three- Attack Thy Evil Fiend with Karaoke

"Shizukaniiii..." Blake sang terribly off key.

Sora snatched the microphone from him, "You imbecile. You told me that you could sing!"

"I said I could sing. I did NOT say I could sing well. Big difference."

Sora glared at him and proceeded to finish the song, "DeguchiniiIiiiIIII," his voice cracked, "Darn it! Stupid little-kid voice!"

In a burst of light Riku gracefully took the microphone from Sora," ..tatte. Kurayami.. ni. Hikari wo.. ute," he sang in perfect key. Blake and Sora stared at him in bewilderment.

"What?" Riku asked as if he had just written his own name, "Can't everyone sing like that?" he smiled, blinding and killing a chipmunk.

"Well, I'm getting tired of karaoke anyway," Sora said, his voice cracking several times.

A heartless appeared out of the ground and Sora shrieked and fainted. Riku smashed an empty glass bottle on its head, breaking instantly. The heartless merely glared at him, "Gah! It worked in the movie!"

Heroic music played as Blake jumped into the air and slashed down at the heartless. Upon contact of the heartless and the keyblade, his keyblade shattered into a kajillionzillion pieces, which the heartless ate. Kairi appeared in a puff of smoke and threw a fluffy pillow at it, and it disappeared yay. Blake was sobbing uncontrollably in a corner.

Riku patted Blake on the shoulder, "There, there. Hermione is here to help!"

J.K. Rowling suddenly appears yelling swear words and curses at Riku and then stabs him with a wand for copyright infringement.

"Told you," Sora said, miraculously recovering.

"No you didn't," Riku responded with a wand sticking out of his back, "Sam told that to Frodo.. And you're the one that's been copyright infringing everything in the first place!"

"Then how come you're the one that got stabbed?"

"Good girls are only bad girls that don't get caught," Riku said smugly, folding his arms.

"Are you implying that I'm a girl?"

"No, I read it on a t-shirt once."

"Oh, okay then."

Axel appears amidst them, "For some reason I thought this was Bingo.. Sorry," he says and disappears.

"B-I-NGO!" Blake sings.

"And Bingo was his name-o!" Sora joins in, duetting with Blake.

"What's up with the crossovers!" Riku sang? WTF? Suddenly they were all onstage in Shakespearian attire.

Sora started to sing, "Bingo is not a crrrossover!"

"What would you know?" Blake sang as the opera started to gain momentum, "What would you know about crossovers?"

"I should know," Sora sang, "Because I am IN. ONE."

"Oh.." Blake just said, "I forgot."

The audience disappeared (yes, there was one) and the stage disappeared. They popped back into the woods, still wearing Shakespearian attire.

"How am I supposed to explain THIS to Kairi?" Riku asked, walking out from behind a tree in a maiden's gown.

"Just say you felt like bringing out your inner being," Sora said, suddenly dressed like Buddha.

"Owned!" a random person dressed in black robes and a chef's hat yelled from behind a tree.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Riku said, glaring at 'Buddha.'

"It means what it means."

"You wanna make something of it, Gandhi!" Riku demanded.

"Bring it on!" Sora ripped off his Buddhist outfit to reveal the Shakespearian one. He groaned and ripped that one off, showing a frilly pink dress. Someone whistled in the background. Sora continuously ripped off his outfits, trying to pull the whole superhero stance.

Riku chortled at his unpreparedness (yes, I am just making up words as I go along). Riku then attempted to pull off his outfit to reveal his heroic attire. Unfortunately, he forgot to wear his superhero attire. So when Riku ripped off his clothing, all that could be seen was a huge "CENSORED" sign.

Blake laughed at them both and fetched a white sheet from one of the tents. He threw it around his neck and said, "Go forth, good-doers! Let us not be plagued by these altercations!" The wind blew through Blake's hair as his cape waved elegantly, standing for justice. Light emanated from him as a theme song played.

"No!" Riku shouted, somehow acquiring clothes in the process, "I'm losing my egotistical glow!" Riku's hair started to turn a darker, less hot, un-anime color. But then his eyes turned brown and everyone thought he was a drop-dead, sexy beast. Except for the author, because she is not a huge fan of brown eyes. Fan girls flocked around Riku as he began to sign autographs as, "Brown-Eyed Riku." He winked after signing one girl's photo and four of them fainted.

The entire process took quite a long time, and Sora was still trying to find either a superhero outfit, or his regular one.. Whichever came first. Finally, after Riku finished signing autographs, Sora, exasperated, ripped off the last outfit to reveal his Halloween Town costume.

"Eh, close enough," Sora said, as he adjusted the pumpkin on his spiky hair.

"I feel rejuvenated!" Riku shouted, "Hurray for spell check!"

"Yeah, no one cares about your randomness. It's flipping 10 o' clock at night," Sora said.

"I thought it was the morning," Blake said.

"How should we know? Fanfics don't keep track of time," Riku said, still brunette.

"Where's Kairi?" Sora said.

"Kairi sucks! Naminé owns!" Riku jumped high into the air and got stuck in a cloud.

Naminé suddenly appeared and started to sing in Spanish because Spanish owns all. Then Mandy Smirkke showed up and told everyone to go to bed because they were keeping her up. Then she went into Chalk Zone and fell asleep and the chapter was ended... zzzZZZzz...


Okay so yeah.. Randomness. This is basically where all of the KH junk in my head gets sorted out and plopped onto paper into random silliness. Beware. Preview of Next Episode: Ebil Email