She had said No.

Four hundred and fifty times to the day, but who was really counting anymore.

He had tried to be nice, charming, funny, and Non-flirtatious to any girls but her, to protect her whenever he could. But no matter what he always seemed to mess it up.

He looked down past the lake at the place he had been standing less than 8 hours ago. The memory of her rejection and harsh words still fresh in his mind. He had yet again tried to get on the good side of her and defend her while still trying his best make his friends proud, the red haired beauty with the perfect sparkling emerald green eyes. But he had once again messed it up.

No matter what he did, No matter how hard he tried he just seemed to infuriate her even more. He didn't always harass people but ninety-nine percent of the time when he did, yeah… you guessed it she was there ready and willing to give him a piece of her mind. But even although she hated him, he loved everything about her. Even her fiery temper which made her hate him so much. That he couldn't understand. Lily brought out the confusion in him. That was one thing he was sure of. He sighed once again before ruffling his already messy hair. Another bad habit when he was around her. She hated when he did that but it was his automatic reaction whenever he saw her, or even thought about the red haired goddess.

He stood up at the Astronomy towers window ledge and contemplated whether she would miss him if he left her world, would she realize she liked him? Or even loved?

He mentally laughed. "No she wouldn't, more like hate me even more and jump over my grave" He smiled at the thought of her slender figure skipping joyfully over the grass Her eyes glistening in the sunlight along (even if it was over his own grave, his own death) with a smile that she had never shown because of something he had ever said or done.

Maybe he should, and then at least he would be the cause of the smile that was reserved for everyone but himself. The knowledge of that was almost enough by itself to make him want to end it right there and then.

But no, he couldn't… he stepped away from the window ledge.
He needed her.
The ability to live for her, to stare at her, to watch her beautiful emerald eyes light up with excitement at Christmas as he watched from a distance,

He need to be able to hold her in his arms, to call her his, for her to be his, The ability to care for her, to love her. Even if she never could return his feelings. And he was determined to get her or at least try until it literally killed him.

And for the Twenty-Second time that year he walked away from the ledge and the tower.