A/N: So I have realized that some aspects of my writing are similar to other random fics I've read. So I am sorry about some similarities! And I hope you can take it as a compliment instead of an insult and find it in your hearts to forgive me. .. If not, then you won't get any of Yuffie's muffins.
Ze Disclaimer: How cliché! I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, LOTR, Lucky Charms, Crackers, Potatoes, Leprechauns, the randomChinese girl,or any 100 dollar bills.

Episode Five: Attack Thy Evil Fiend With Languages

"Yay, Yuffie!" a random, Chinese girl yelled from the audience. Sora threw one of his banana-like shoes at her.

"Now where were we?" Sora asked as he climbed out of the hole.

"Oh my gosh, you flipping line stealer!" Roxas pointed an accusing finger at Sora, who was trying to keep his clothes on.

"Gr, Roxas, you suck," he snatched the button from the hawt blonde's hand and pinned it back onto his outfit. Sora gleamed like a super-hero once more then tackled Roxas, shouting a corny battle-cry that I don't dare type.

"Eat potatoes!" Sam cried as he fell out of the sky on top of Sora.

"I kill you, bitch!" Riku yelled into the fray as he stumbled around blindly.

A little, green leprechaun, who I will call Mattie, appeared, but he was a ghost, so Frodo peed his pantsies (yes, I said pantsies). Not watching where he was going, the impaired Riku stepped onto the leprechaun and a rainbow flew in his eyes. The leprechaun was dead... again.. But Riku could see with lovely aqua eyes, and all was well.

"When all else fails," he said, "turn to music!" he whipped out a guitar and music, making sure not to switch tenses as he and Roxas had done before.

"B-I-NGO!" Roxas sang, wrestling the potato-covered Sora.

"And on this farm there was a cow who says 'moo-moo,'" Riku continued.

"E-I-E-I-O!" Sam yodeled from a tree.

"And on this farm there was a dog," Riku began.

"El perro diga 'gua-gua'!" Sora's eyes widened and he covered his mouth.

Roxas stopped his attempt to kill him, "Fut the wuck?"

"¡Ah!.. ¿Qué el infierno?" Sora said in Spanish.

"Make it stop, he's confusing me!" Riku screamed as he covered his ears.

"¡No puedo parar el hablar en español!" Sora said, waving his arms frantically.

The group exchanged confused looks.

"¡Porqué no sabes lo que estoy diciendo!" Sora persisted.

Frodo laughed at him and started speaking in Latin.

"Maybe he's saying, 'dress me up like a little girl and pick flowers with me. Then show me to everyone in town so they can see what a big idiot I am.' It's worth a shot," Roxas guessed.

"Idiota!" Sora shrieked, "No puedo hablar inglés o japonés."

"Knock it off," Riku whacked him on the head, "You're scaring the audience."

"Baka!" Sora yelled at Riku.

"Holy fudge and crackers, he's speaking Japanese."

"Wait, wait, wait," Roxas grinned, "Let me try." Roxas smacked him on the head, "let's see what language he speaks now."

"Stoppen Sie, das zu tun!" Sora shouted in German.

"Sweet!" Roxas exclaimed like a snake dislodging its jaw to swallow a mouse whole.

Riku walked over and hit Sora on the head too.

"Ow! Ce maux!" he said in French.

Sam hit him on the head with a potato.

"Ik ga u doden!" Sora threatened in Dutch.

"What did he say?" Roxas asked.

"Something about his fish having to go?" Riku shrugged.

"Go where?" Frodo asked, "A concert?"

"Sounds good to me!" Yuffie cheered.

"If anyone hasn't noticed," Roxas said, "We're in the middle of woods with no money, we don't know what time it is, we don't know when or where a concert is going to be, and I doubt all of us can decide on a movie."

"We're going to a concert," Riku corrected.

"Are you sure?" Roxas asked.

"Read the flipping script," Riku replied, hitting Roxas on the head with a rolled-up script.

"We have a script?" Sora said, "I thought this was freehand."

"Can you guys stop switching from one thing to another?" the potato-man asked, "You're hurting me wee, little brain."

"Yeah, Sora," Riku said in an as-a-matter-of-factly tone, "freehand is drawing. Duh. Even Naminé knows that, and she's a stupid blonde."

Riku was hit in the head with a sketch book, "I mean an awesome blonde who would know what she's doing because she's the best artist in the world!" He grinned nervously.

"I know!" Yuffie shouted, "Let's see Squiffie!"

"That's not even a real band..." Frodo said, glaring at her.

"Well I wanna play a guitar anyway!" Yuffie screamed as she smashed a random guitar on his head.

"That's a Leon Yuffie pairing, and you know it, bitch!" a Chinese girl screamed at Yuffie, "But you're my idol!"

"Get out of the fic, Veritate!" Frodo said to the girl that had called him ugly.

"Up yours, Baggins!" she shrieked and stole Roxas' Lucky Charms.

"Nooooooooo!" Roxas yelled as she ran off into the forest.

"What did I steal now?" Yuffie asked innocently.

"The band Squiffie?" Sora said, ignoring the sobbing blonde.

"Chyeah right," Yuffie rolled her eyes.

"We're gonna get sued, man," Sora said, looking at his feet, "What happened to my other shoe?"

"You threw it at that Chinese girl," Riku replied.

"Oh yeah... Well I want it back, damn it."

As if a sign from Guthix (omg, RuneScape crossover!), Sora's large, banana shoe fell on his head, knocking his spiky-head out.

"Sora made a boom-boom," Yuffie looked down at the unconscious boy.

"Wanna go to Vegas?" Riku asked her.

"No, I wanna go to Egypt."

"Sounds like a plan."

The two then ran off with some supplies and prepared to board a plane to Egypt.

"Hey, Riku?" Yuffie said.

"What?" he asked, packing stuff.

"We don't have any money."

"Oh right," the silver-haired hottie--I mean--teenager thought for a moment, "Sora has money."

"Good idea!" Yuffie whipped out a baseball bat and smashed a pink piggy.

"Yuffie, that's a real pig."

"Why isn't any money coming out!" she yelled as she beat the piggy to a bloody pulp. Poor piggy. Rest his soul.

Riku found a mouse-shaped "mousy-bank."

"Hey Yuffie! I have a special job for you!"

"Gimme some muffins!" she shrieked as she ran over. Riku smashed the bank on her head.

"w00t! Cash!" he said, picking up the money from the ground. Yuffie picked a Benjamin out of her ebony hair.

"Oh, Benjamin... You sexy beast," she stroked the bill.

"Why does Sora have American money?" Riku asked the ninja.

"Because the author doesn't know that Kingudamu Hātsu isfrom Japan."

"Whatever, we have money, let's go," Riku stated decidedly, as the wind blew through his hair, "now how do we get there?"

"I'm driving!" Yuffie exclaimed from a red convertible in the driveway.

"Sweet ride! Who's is it?" Riku said, hopping in.

"Probably Sora's even though he's not old enough to drive yet.. But who knows? We're in a fantasy world, baby!" Yuffie explained.

"Works for me," Riku said.

"For the record, I only like you for Sora's money."

"Whatever, I have fangirls wherever I go," Riku shrugged.

A/N: Haha yeah. I didn't make up the Squiffie thing Oo but I know it's a pairing so that's why that Chinese girl yelled that, so you'd all know I didn't make it up. Don't sue me! I'm weird! Possible Preview of Next Chapter: Egypt Chase