Title: Wash Away part eighteen
Note: Thanks so much for the very kind comments! I do hope this chapter does not "fluff" too much. ?
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Sara smiled in her sleep. Watching the soft curve of her lips, the urge to reach out and caress her face was almost too much for him to handle. Folding his arms at the elbows he sat back and closed his eyes. He wanted to be mad at her for leaving Vegas and not informing him of her condition. He wanted to be angry, but instead images of the first time he met Sara flashed through his mind, followed by the years of denial, avoidance, and finally acceptance as their relationship evolved.
Years filled with lonliness, anger and confusion. Everything had changed after Nick had almost died. He had invited Sara to breakfast that morning, beginning one of the most fulfilling relationships of his life. If someone had asked him two years ago if he could have ever coexisted with another person he would have flatly denied it. Sara had changed everything.
There was a feather light touch on his arm and his eyes flew open. Sara was staring at him with love, but also something else, something close to fear? He watched as she withdrew her hand and sat back against the bed, her gaze never wavering from his face. He knew that he should reassure her, tell her that he was no longer angry. Instead, he could only stare at back at her in silence.
She tore her eyes away from him and asked the question that was foremost in her mind. "Have you seen them?" She did not ask if he knew about the babies. He was here on the maternity ward, the answer was obvious. What she did need to know was what direction he wished for them to take now that he knew. Was he willing to be a parent to their sons?
"I have." Grissom unfolded his arms and leaned forward. Reaching out his right hand he placed it on Sara's arm and gently brushed his thumb over her elbow. "I think that they are the most perfect babies in the world."
This statement elicited a wide smile from Sara. Looking down at his hand on her elbow, she asked the next question that was on her mind. "Can you understand why I didn't tell you about them?"
Her smile faltered as he did not reply for several minutes and she felt his hand move away from her arm. Thinking he was withdrawing from her, Sara lifted her chin up and was about to confront him when she was stunned by his next action. He propped himself on the edge of her bed, one leg hiked up beside her hip so that he was facing her on the bed. Reaching up one hand, he cupped her chin gently between his fingers.
"I was stunned at first, Sara, I won't lie. It happened so fast." He told her about hearing the birth of the first baby via the cellphone. It was her turn to be shocked. She vaguely recalled dropping the phone when the labor pains had become so intense. It had never occurred to her that it was still on or that Grissom was discovering the truth in such a way. He told her about the flight attendant and then of Warrick's informing him of the fact that he had not one, but two sons.
"On the ride here from the airport I tried to process the fact that I have children. Sons. It is almost too much to take in, Sara." He lowered his hand and rested it on his thigh. "It's not going to be easy for me to change."
Sara placed her hand over his as she said softly. "I don't want you to change. I would like for you to be part of their lives, but I don't want you to do anything that you don't feel comfortable with, Griss. I care too much about you to put those types of demands on you." Taking a deep breath, she waited for him to respond.
"I know that I would like for you to move back to Vegas." Grissom intertwined his fingers with hers and squeezed gently as he continued. "I know that it's not going to be easy, but I want to try to be part of their lives. Who else is going to teach them about entomology?"
Sara could not keep the grin from forming. It felt so right to be sitting here with Grissom like this. There was a short knock on the door and Sara called out for the person to enter. The nurse that had given Grissom information stuck her head around the corner and asked her if she would like for the babies to be brought to the room to be fed.
"Please, thank you." An embarrassed flush crept over Sara's face and she glanced over at Grissom who was watching her reaction with a slight tilt of his mouth.
"I can leave." He suggested. Grissom assumed she would be breast feeding the babies and was right when she spoke quickly, keeping her hand in his own.
"No, it's fine. If it doesn't bother you to be in here when I breast feed, then I would like for you to stay." She told him about the baby books she had read and how she had decided that she wanted to try the breast feeding approach. "At least for the first few months."
Grissom gave her a short nod. He really did not want to think of Sara's breasts and was thankful when the door opened again admitting the same nurse who was pushing a single bassinet.
"I brought them both in one bassinet." She said and added with a humorous laugh. "I don't think there is much chance of them getting mixed up." She pointed to the bald head of one of the babies.
Grissom pushed off the bed in alarm. "They do have identity bracelets on, don't they? What if some stranger comes in here and decides to just take one of them?"
He was getting worked up and the nurse studied him with a patient eye. When he paused, she spoke firmly. "The babies have bracelets on that would set off an alarm if someone besides mom here, tries to take them off this floor." She looked over at Sara who held her arm up in confirmation. A plastic bracelet was wrapped around her left wrist.
"What if someone cuts the bracelet off?" Grissom asked. He was not impressed by the display of plastic wrapped around her wrist, or the babies legs as he peered over the edge of the bassinet.
"It's okay, Gris. Trust me, I checked the security out throughly before I decided to have the babies here. I trust them." Sara was moved by the protectiveness that Grissom was displaying. She never expected him to jump into the role so quickly.
Grissom stared from Sara to the nurse to the babies. He decided in that second that he would have to make sure of the security before he left since Sara was obviously thinking way too emotionally to form a proper perspective. He frowned. When he left. He watched the nurse pick Baby A up out of the bassinet and carry him over to Sara who took him with eagerness. Since this was the first time she had breast fed, the nurse offered to assist or locate the lactation consultant. Shaking her head, Sara thanked her but declined the offer.
She had not even gotten the sentence out before the baby was latching on to her left breast and sucking greedily. The nurse smiled and looked over at Grissom. "It appears that one has it down. Want to hold your other baby?"
He did not have time to respond before she was scooping the baby out of the bassinet and placing him in his arms before turning to leave the room. Grissom froze. He could recall only one other time in his life when he had held a baby and that one had not been moving, much less breathing. Shaking the image from his mind, Grissom looked at the tiny face and was fascinated by the studious and bright eyes staring back up at him.
Cradling the baby awkwardly, he moved back to the bed and took his previous position next to Sara. "What's his name?" Grissom asked as he tore his eyes from the baby for only a heartbeat, exchanging a significant look with Sara.
"I haven't picked out names for them. I was hoping that I could get your opinion." Sara stroked the soft curls on the baby she held against her breast. She kept her eyes on Grissom and the baby he was tenderly holding. "Any suggestions?"
Grissom took in the brown curly head of the baby she held and then the hairless head of the one in his own arms. Shrugging, he suggested with a smirk. "Curly and Moe?"
The first geniune laugh he had heard from Sara in months filled the room. Wiping the corner of her eye with her right hand she finally answered. "That sounds like something Nick or Greg would say. I would expect something more spectacular from you, Gris."
His eyes twinkling, Grissom again suggested. "Something like William Shakespeare? Percy Bysshe Shelley? Keats?"
"Something more along the lines of Aristotle or maybe a famous entomologist like William Kirby or Thomas Say?" Sara felt the baby stop suckling and looked down to check on him. She was about to pull him off her breast when he started sucking again. With a soft laugh, she looked up at Grissom and caught him staring at her chest in fascination.
"It's remarkable how the breast can form milk and provide sustenance for a baby." He was marveling at the process when the baby in his arms let out a sharp cry and he almost dropped him before correcting his mistake by holding the infant with both hands. "I think he's hungry." Grissom looked up and then over at her right breast.
Uncertain of feeding two babies at once, Sara suggested he press the nurses call button. The baby paused in his cries to stare at Grissom with expectant eyes and then began another series of cries.
"Sara, just try it, he's hungry." Grissom held the baby out to her and tried to turn him so that he had access to her right breast. "Uhm, you need to pull your gown up or something." Grissom blushed furiously but he held his ground.
Feeling the aching pull of her babies cry she shifted so that she could accommodate both babies, one on each breast. Baby B rooted around but did not latch on like the first one had so naturally done. Sara looked at him with a helpless expression and then gave Grissom an apologetic smile. "You'll need to help him latch on, Gris."
Grissom opened his mouth to protest and suddenly wished that he had pressed the nurses call button. Thinking in a scientific mindframe Grissom reached out and guided his babies mouth to the proper location. It took several seconds, but finally the baby latched on and began to suck just as his brother was doing. Beaming with satisfaction, Grissom sat back and stared at the back of both of his boys heads. So different and so perfect.
tbc
