CHAPTER 1: BYE-BYE ZELDA

Zelda was seating on her seat while link was scrubbing her feet

"Remember to get in between the toes" said princess Zelda

"OK. You stupid little whore" Murmured Link

"What!" Shouted Zelda

"Nothing, nothing!"

"Good, because you being my slave and all"

"Knight in shining armour! Not slave! I save you from Ganandorf and you tell me I'm the best and we're Boyfriend and Girlfriend until, THIS!"

"Until what, may I ask?"

"Until I have to clean up all your SHIT. Whilst you laze about getting fat."

"ME, FAT?"

"Let me finish. Where was I oh yeah, You lazin' about getting' fat, FAT, F-A-T, FAT. Then you never clean up after yourself these days your as ugly as a Goron"

" HEY!" said the Goron "Leave me out of this"

"Sorry…. Anyway, you never wash, you leave all your clothes everywhere. I even found underwear on my head!. What kinna Princess are ya? And I also heard rumours of you seeing another guy!"

"What I would never do that to you. Well the underwear thing and never washing thing is true. But I am not seeing another person. That's Ganandorf taking me away!"

"Oh sure, you really expect me to believe that"

"But you see him all the time and you save mean you kill him and he usually comes back all the time, somehow."

"Well… am…I'm gonna ignore you now. I'm not gonna listen to you"

Ganandorf comes in trough the window and grabs princess Zelda

"I've got you now…" but Zelda interrupted Ganandorf

" Hang on a sec Ganandorf" said Zelda

Ganandorf looked at her in confusion and shrugged his shoulders.

"Am Link I'm bei…"

"No, I'm not listening to you"

"No, Link this is really SERIOUS"

"No, npe I'm not listening to you! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA"

Whilst link was singing to himself, Zelda was taken out of the window

"LINK YOU STUPID CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER" She shouted as she was being pulled out of the window

Link turned around and seen she was gone

"Ohhh fuck, not again" Link said shamefully "It always happens this way. STUPID, STUPID LINK"