Chapter 21: Basic Straining
Reviews:
TaitanoRules555: No need to apologize. The review wasn't offensive, I just couldn't think of a good response.
Phenomenal Ultra Instinct: Y'know, I kinda miss your detailed reviews.
DSX62415: I'm sure they would appreciate it.
QueenAzulaThinksYourWorthless: As if someone as suspicious as Heather wouldn't suspect Alejandro of trying to weaken her. Thanks!
Red Rain: Sorry I posted the last chapter before your review went up. I think Katie and Sadie are interchangeable, and the only reason I had Sadie go home is because she's less athletic than Katie. And I'll do my best to make sure everything works well as possible.
Knifez: I'm glad you appreciated it. I'm glad I wrote Alejandro well despite him being a bit more complacent than he was in canon. The idol is a powerful asset, I can admit that. While I like Scottney, I understand why you don't. My only rebuttal to your argument that Scott has many of the qualities that Courtney found infuriating about Duncan is that I interpreted her attempts at controlling the latter as her taking out her frustration regarding his lack of ambition on more quantifiable traits. And unlike Duncan, Scott is just as ambitious as Courtney, so I think the pairing would work better. As for DJeardo, I don't care for BL and would have no idea how to write it (I'm already stretching it with straight romance), but I decided it was necessary to give Alejandro enough deniability, and besides, I think the pairing could work. I'm proud of my update schedule; it eases the worry that my readers might lose interest.
dark mage: I suppose that's true, especially for a rather short chapter. Someone might, possibly unintentionally. And it was one of the wooden idols.
TDFan: Thanks. And don't worry, Duncan won't be dropped for no reason.
Riley-Cooper123: While I'm sure it would have been entertaining to have Alejandro play the long game with him, he needed plausible deniability. And China doesn't allow homosexuality on TV, so stuff surrounding Beardo would have to be cut out. Yes, Alejandro's driving was brutal, but he probably knew he wasn't likely to permanently damage Beardo. Glad you liked that part.
Teams:
Gophers: B, Beth, Brick, Heather, Jasmine, Katie, Sammy
Bass: Courtney, DJ, Lindsay, Sam, Scarlett, Scott, Topher, Tyler
Moose: Cameron, Harold, Leshawna, Lightning, Noah, Owen, Shawn
Badgers: Alejandro, Bridgette, Duncan, Geoff, Sierra, Sky, Trent, Zoey
The episode opened early in the morning, with Tyler and B thumb-wrestling. Tyler pinned B's thumb beneath his own, and Topher announced, "And Tyler defeats B, and advances to the finale of the Great Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Tournament!"
Sam then took B's place across from Tyler. "Now, for the grand finale, our hitherto undefeated finalists, Sam and Tyler, will compete for the title of Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Champion!"
However, the excitement was cut short by the sound of the camp loudspeaker going off. However, instead of the host's voice, the voice of Chef was the one being broadcast. "Listen up, you little cockroaches!" He yelled. "I want all campers to report to the Dock of Shame at 0900 hours!"
Several of the campers looked at each other in confusion. Brick said, "Nine o'clock. Which is now, so..."
"Well, what are you waitin' around for?" Chef asked. "Get down here now!"
Confessional: Brick
"I think this is a military-themed challenge. And as someone who spent two years in military school, and comes from a military family, I have prior experience. And most of my teammates are no slouches either, so I'm not worried."
End confessional
When the campers had assembled on the docks, they noticed that Chef was wearing a drill sergeant uniform instead of his standard outfit. "Line up and stand at attention!" he shouted into a megaphone. He then pulled out a pointing stick and walked down the line of campers. "You call this proper formation? Feet together!" He shouted at Geoff, emphasizing the command with a strike of the stick to Geoff's legs. "Arms down!" He struck Lightning's arms as the football player was stretching. "Eyes forward!" Zoey quickly turned her head forward. "Head up!" He smacked Noah's back to correct his poor posture.
"Well, this is gonna be good," Shawn muttered sarcastically.
"What did you say to me, soldier?" Chef yelled through his megaphone.
"Uh, nothing?" Shawn answered quickly.
"And you will continue to say nothin', until I tell you that you can say somethin'!" Chef told him. To the group in general, he continued, "Today's challenge will not be an easy one. In fact, I do not expect everyone to come out alive." Heather rolled her eyes at the comment and received a whack. "My orders are to make sure all the babies in front of me drop out of my boot camp except three. The last three standing win immunity for their teams."
"Well, if all members of one team drop out, but there are more than three remaining campers remaining between the three-" Harold tried to correct, but was cut off by Chef. "Did I ask for your opinion, maggot?" he asked threateningly.
"Um, no, sir," Harold said nervously.
"Then shut up!" Chef shouted at him.
"Excuse me, Chef, but what happened to Chris?" Zoey asked.
Chef ignored her. "Rule number one! You will address me as Master Chief! Have you got that!"
"Yes, Master Chief!" the campers said.
"You will sleep when I tell you to sleep. And you will eat only when I tell you to eat. Is that clear?" he asked pointedly, as he stopped in front of Owen.
"Yes, Master Chief!" the optimist said hastily.
"Rule number two! When you are ready to give up, you will walk to the end of the dock and ring the bell!" Chef continued. "Which brings me to rule number three. We're on a schedule, so I'd like to get three quitters before the end of the first day. And that day will not end until three people drop out. Now get your butts down to the beach, soldiers! Now! Now! Now!"
Confessional: Courtney
"I don't know whose sick idea it was to let Chef be in charge of this challenge, but he clearly isn't fit to host. Still, it's just for one challenge, so I suppose you'll just have to deal with it."
End confessional
The four teams stood on the beach, with canoes beside them, one green, one red, one yellow, and one purple. "Listen up!" barked Chef. "Each team must hold a canoe over their heads. I catch you takin' your hands off the canoe, and you are out! And nobody eats lunch until three someones drop out!"
"Hey, this isn't too hard," Trent said.
"Piece of cake," Geoff agreed.
Several hours later, in the middle of the afternoon, the teams were still holding the canoes over their heads.
"Ugh, my knees are killing me," Jasmine complained. The camera was angled to the side, to show that she had had to squat slightly due to being several inches taller than her teammates.
"Oh, shut up. DJ's only like two inches shorter than you, and I don't hear him complaining," Heather snapped.
"Okay, no need to get crook on me," Jasmine said. "I'm not bailing just yet."
The camera panned over to DJ. A spider had crawled out of the canoe and was crawling over his arm. DJ pretended not to notice, but he was cringing.
Tyler looked over his shoulder and saw the spider. "Dude-"
DJ cut him off. "Don't tell me, I don't want to know."
Sam groaned. "Ugh. Hands bored. Need video games."
Scarlett gave the back of his head a cold stare. Despite not being able to see her, he instinctively felt it and shrunk away slightly. "I hope you're not considering quitting."
"No!" Sam reassured her quickly. "I can make it to the end of this level."
Chef and Chris, the latter looking the worse for wear, observed the campers, many of whom were visibly tired. "Come on, you sissies," Chef said. "It's only been five hours."
"Looks like they missed lunch," Chris commented.
"Yeah, I guess they weren't hungry," Chef agreed pointedly. "Unless someone wants to quit now?"
Owen's stomach rumbled at the thought of food. Leshawna turned slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye, keeping her hands on the canoe. "You drop out, and I'll hit you so hard you won't be eatin' anything for a week."
"I won't!" Owen reassured, a bit nervous.
Topher looked critically at Chris. "No offense, but you look pretty bad," he said to the host, who seemed very worn-out.
"You're one to talk," Chris said irritably. "You're so sweaty, I can see my reflection on your forehead."
"I've been standing in the hot sun for the past five hours. I have an excuse," Topher deadpanned. "And even so, I'm less of a sweaty mess than a lot of the other people here." Courtney gave him an annoyed glance, while Lindsay seemed to assume "most" excluded her. The other members of his team made faces that showed they more or less accepted that Topher was right. "What's your excuse for looking like you're about to pass out?"
"Hangover," Chris said bitterly.
"Getting drunk before filming? That doesn't sound very professional to me," Topher commented faux-innocently. "And can we talk about your crow's feet?"
Chris's eyes widened. "Crow's feet?" He turned away from the campers. "Dakota, get me a mirror!"
Topher smirked after his retreating form. "Enjoy your time hosting this show while it lasts," he said softly. "Because someday I'm going to be hosting this show, and then it'll be 'Chris who?'"
Confessional: Topher
"I just want to clarify that at the beginning of the season, I really was a fan of Chris. But now I see him for what he is. Unprofessional and irresponsible. He has charisma, sure, but I know plenty of hosts that could match that, and when he tries to be cool, it does not look good. Dad, when I get home, we're ditching all the Chris DVDs!" He paused for a moment. "Except Shuttlecock Under. I may not be a fan of the star anymore, but good writing is good writing."
End confessional
Nightfall came with the challenge still going. Chef was sitting on a beach chair, regaling the teams with war stories of questionable veracity. "Twenty-five of us went into the jungle that night," he said. "Only five came back out."
Duncan yawned. "Excuse me, which war were you in, again?" he asked.
"Did I ask you to speak? Because I don't remember asking you to speak," Chef shouted. Duncan looked back at him, unfazed.
The focus moved to Cameron, who dropped his arms. "I'm sorry, but I cannot continue," Cameron said. "My arms just can't take it any more." He walked out of his team's line, then dropped to the ground, unable or unwilling to walk.
"Yeah, I can't keep going either," Lindsay agreed. As she walked to the bell, Cameron said, "Could you give it an extra ring for me, please?"
Lindsay obliged, hitting the bell twice with her head. After a few more minutes, Jasmine followed suit (albeit only once, and not with her head).
"Holding the canoe is no problem, but I can't stand squatting like that any longer," she explained.
"Listen, y'all have nothin' to be ashamed of," Chef said in a soft tone. Then, he dropped the act, and shouted into the megaphone, "Except being little babies who let your teams down!" Addressing the others, he said, "As for the rest of you, report to the Mess Hall. Dinner is served."
"YES!" Owen shouted.
"All right, maggots, open your ears!" Chef shouted. "You've got ten minutes to eat before night training begins, so get to it." At the sound of the words "night training," many of the campers groaned.
"Hey, Master Chief! Where's the food?" Owen asked.
Chef gestured to a line of trash cans. "You're looking at it."
"That's just garbage from this morning's breakfast," Trent pointed out.
"Darn right," Chef said. "When you take what you can get."
Owen started eating burnt scrambled eggs from one of the trash cans, to the disgust of his peers.
Chris showed up, looking much better than he had before. "Well, I can see you've got this under control. I'm off to Craft Services. You coming?"
"Heck yeah! Serve me up some of that!" Chef said, as he walked off.
Some of the campers, realizing they weren't going to get anything else, started looking through the trash for anything that was still edible. Alejandro cringed. "I'm afraid I cannot eat this."
Heather scowled at him. "Why, are you not tough enough to handle it?" she said antagonistically.
Alejandro looked at her. "I could not stand to contaminate my body like Chef is suggesting."
Heather gave him a death glare, but said nothing.
Confessional: Heather
"Beardo told me what happened with Alejandro yesterday. He thought Al was just being polite and he was reading too much into it, but I'm not convinced. I think he was intentionally dropping hints hoping to bait him, then catch him off guard. It's what I would have done."
End confessional
The scene cut to Chef, who was dancing a modified version of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." The shot panned over to the campers imitating his moves. The dance moves went on for quite some time, until, during a series of pelvic thrusts, the music suddenly stopped. The camera showed that Duncan had turned it off.
"Three of us dropped out already. There's no reason to keep going like this," Duncan said rudely.
Brick took it upon himself to respond. "Actually, Master Chief said the day would not end until three people dropped out. He didn't say it would end once they did."
"We'll stop when I say we'll stop! And you better not be trying to kiss up to me, boy! Drop and give me twenty, both of you!" Chef shouted.
"Yes, sir!" Brick saluted, and obliged. Duncan stared at Chef defiantly for a few seconds before following suit.
"Any other questions?" Chef asked.
Sammy raised her hand. "Can I go to the bathroom?"
"This isn't what I had in mind," Sammy said to herself, as the scene cut to her in the bathroom with a pair of latex gloves, a mop, and a bucket to clean it.
In the Main Lodge, Chef had seated the campers, sans Jasmine, Cameron, and Lindsay, at desks. "For your next challenge, you will write a three hundred-word essay about how much you love me. Anyone who fails to complete the essay or falls asleep will be eliminated."
The camera shifted to an analog clock, which read 12:55. When the clock had reached 3:00, Chef went to collect the essays. He looked at a sleeping Noah, and snatched an unfinished essay away from Lightning. He looked at Beth, Katie, Tyler, and DJ, who had also fallen asleep. He took an unfinished essay from Sky, then walked over to Zoey, who was holding a notebook.
"What's this?" he asked. He looked at the notebook, which contained drawings of Chris doing the challenges from the show, and the campers hosting. He laughed at an image of Rodney hitting Chris with a barrel, and at an image of Cody blasting him with a leech gun.
He looked at Zoey, and held up the notebook. "When the season ends, I want copies of these drawings."
Zoey smiled nervously. "Okay."
Chef then looked at her seriously. "I still need that essay."
Zoey handed him a few pages. "Here."
Chef looked at Duncan's essay. "I love Master Chief Hatchet because he is really really really really really...this is just four pages of 'really's!"
"It's three hundred words exactly," retorted Duncan. "You can count them if you'd like."
Chef glared at him. He walked past Trent, who had fallen asleep. He slipped on Trent's drool, and fell on the ground.
"You missed a spot there, General," Duncan snarked.
"Boy! You wanna run fifty laps around this camp right now?" Before Duncan could answer, Chef heard Sam laugh. He walked over to where the gamer was sitting. "Is this funny to you, Chubby?"
"Heh heh...that cutscene was pretty good..." Sam mumbled. "Good thing I completed the objective on time, wouldn't want to get a 'game over' right now..."
Chef glared at him. "Does this look like a game to you?"
Sam's POV was shown, looking somewhat like it had in the leechball challenge, with Chef and the room in a retro video game style. There was a health bar at the bottom, and it was dangerously low. "Yeah, kinda."
Chef growled and stormed off. He slammed his fist on a table, startling Bridgette awake. "You nine slackers are out," he said, indicating Trent, Sky, Tyler, DJ, Katie, Beth, Noah, Bridgette, and Lightning. "The rest of you, get to bed and report to the laying field at 0700 hours."
"Excuse me, are you giving an advantage to whoever wrote the best essay?" Heather asked.
"No!" Chef shouted. "And if you try to suck up to me again, you're gonna be runnin' fifty laps around the camp!"
"That's not how things work at boot camp," Brick told her.
"Don't you suck up to me either, boy!"
The next day, the footage showed the remaining twenty-one campers looking at a mud pit. To the right were a climbing wall, four hanging ropes with ramps leading to and away, four hanging tires, and two pairs of huge axes hanging upside-down and blade inward. "You will all run this course until you can complete it in under one minute," Chef said. "Am I makin' myself clear?" he asked, very much in Duncan and Brick's faces.
"Yes, sir!" Brick said, enthusiastically.
"Crystal," Duncan said cockily.
"Cool," Sam said as the shot cut over to the Bass. "This level looks pretty fun. I just hope I can beat it under the time limit first try." He gestured to some vague spot above him. Scott and Courtney gave each other concerned looks.
"Go, maggots, go!" Chef shouted and they all began running the obstacle course. Shawn was first over the wall. Most of the others made it over fairly quickly, while some took longer, but Owen struggled to climb it, and ended up falling back into the mud pit. He went to try again, with the same result.
When B reached the tires, his butcher-like build proved his downfall. The tires were unable to accommodate his large frame; he was barely able to get his stomach through the tire, and once it reached his shoulders, it broke and dropped him in the mud.
"Master Chief, sir, we have a medical emergency," Brick pointed out to Chef. "And another one over at the climbing wall, I think."
Chef picked up Owen and B (not at the same time, even picking up either was a tall order even for someone as strong as Chef) by their shirts. "Ring the bell and report to the infirmaries," he told them. "Your tours of duty are finished."
"Poor guys," Brick commented. He saluted the two. "A valiant effort, fellow cadets."
"Back on the course, soldiers. Now! One false move and I'll be on you like stink on a poop wagon!"
"Yes, sir!"
Confessional: B
B typed on his text-to-speech device. "Maybe I should do less power-lifting and more abdominal exercises."
End confessional
Clips of the obstacle course continued. Brick looking enthusiastic as he climbed over the wall, Alejandro climbing the rope, Zoey diving through the tire, a mud-splattered Duncan and Shawn crawling under the axes while trying not to sink in the mud under them, Heather and Courtney attempting to go through the same tire and falling in the mud, Leshawna climbing the wall with significant difficulty, Geoff slipping and falling off the rope, Scarlett tripping as she ran between obstacles, Sammy falling from something, Topher tripping and dropping into the mud pit, Scott getting tangled in the ropes somehow, Harold attempting to catch his breath and being trampled by Sierra, and Sam, sweaty and heaving, bumping into Chef's boots.
"Whoa, boss fight already?" Sam asked, woozily standing up.
"Chubby, you better keep movin', or drop and give me twenty!" Chef shouted.
"That won't work on me!" the gamer said, as the scene took on a pixelated appearance similar to a classic 2D fighting game. "Duck!" he shouted, doing so as Chef tried to grab him. He popped up, then giggled as he ducked again. "Duck! Punch!" He tried to punch Chef, but the muscular man caught his arm and squeezed, causing Sam's simulated HP to drop and making him yelp in pain. The video game graphics vanished, and the air around Chef took on a red tinge.
"I think he pushed him over the edge," Sammy whispered to Brick. Brick cringed and nodded.
"One night solitary confinement," Chef said in a tone that indicated barely-contained murderous rage, "in the Boathouse."
Several gasps were heard from across the obstacle course. Sam chuckled nervously. "Bad move, huh?"
A large fishing hook gleamed in the first shot of the Boathouse interior, and it was quickly followed by a shark jaw, and the briefest glimpse of something swimming in a barrel of water. Sam sat alone on a crate amidst the fishing and boating gear, and looked thoroughly exhausted. "Great. I got myself thrown in the dungeon," he said to himself. His eyes went wide as a wolf howled in the distance.
The scene cut to the remaining fifteen campers standing at one end of a large field of grass, of various lengths but mostly enough to conceal a person. "Let's try somethin' a little bit simpler," Chef suggested. "Y'all have to snake-crawl from one end of this field to the other, without bein' spotted. If I spot you," he held up a paintball gun. "I shoot. And if I hit you, you're out."
He then stood in the center of the field, harshly punishing any camper who made a mistake. He hit Geoff when he moved just a bit too fast and accidentally gave away his position, and he hit Leshawna when her backside reached a bit too high into the air, and the grass failed to hide it.
Heather didn't really make any mistakes in staying hidden, and it was really just bad luck that resulted in her being spotted. Unable to see where she was going, she realized her mistake when she saw chef's boots in front of her. "Um, could you just, I don't know, say you caught me and let me be out?" she asked apprehensively.
Chef shook his head. "Got to make it official." He shot her in the arm and moved on.
Scarlett's glasses gave her away, as Chef hit her when the sunlight reflected off one of the lenses. Scarlett stood up, revealing that he had hit the left lens, and it had cracked. "I expect my lens to be replaced posthaste."
"Sure ya do," Chef said. Upon seeing the (quite frankly terrifying) icy death stare she was giving him, he took a step back. "Fine. I'll replace the lens. Satisfied?"
"Quite," Scarlett told him. "I shall provide my prescription when we return to camp."
Confessional: Scarlett
"As inconvenient as it is, I do need these glasses. Without them, I could not tell the difference between a human and a robot duplicate."
End confessional
Topher was crawling through the field when he bumped into Sierra. "Sorry," he whispered.
"Oh, hey Topher!" Sierra whispered back. "How are things on your team?"
"Just about to crack from the drama, honestly," Topher admitted. "Yours?"
"Kinda boring," Sierra said. "Nothing juicy at all. Maybe when the merge happens, things will get more interesting, but right now, nothing. Wanna talk about what's going on with your team?"
"Yes, actually. I'd like your opinion on-" Topher was cut off by two paintballs, one hitting him in the hair, and the other hitting Sierra in the midsection.
"Really should have kept your mouths shut," Chef told them.
Later, at night, the campers were eating half-empty bowls of a substance that Brick cheerily confirmed to be gruel. "How are you so chipper about this challenge?" Courtney shouted at him, incredulous. "Aren't you hurting right now?"
"Oh, absolutely," Brick responded. "My joints are killing me. But this whole experience brings back good memories."
Sammy frowned at him. "Good memories?"
"Well, good in hindsight," Brick admitted. "When I first went to military school, I was a total wimp. Couldn't even sleep without a night-light. And I was in terrible shape, too. I was relentlessly bullied, and I convinced my parents to transfer me to military school. It wasn't too hard, since my parents are both army veterans.
"Well, I got to military school, and you know what? It was even worse! The drill sergeants put me, and everyone else, through absolute hell! These last two days? They might be considered a bit harsh by the academy's standards, but days as harsh as or harsher than these two wouldn't be uncommon. My only consolation was that I wasn't being singled out like I was in regular school. The drill sergeants were harsh on everyone, and the other students mostly toed the line to avoid their wrath. Those that did bully other students were also the ones who got punished for 'insubordination.' And even then, it was a small comfort.
"But you know what? When I got out of that academy for the summer, I realized it had made me stronger. No more needing a night-light to sleep. No more waking up to discover that I had wet the bed. And when I was walking around town and the kids who used to bully me saw me, they just kept walking. The fires of that hell forged me into a man I could be proud of. That's why I'm so enthusiastic about this challenge. I feel like my performance reflects well on me as a person."
Confessional: Brick
"Okay, there was one part I left out. There was...an incident right after my first year...but that has no bearing on the question, so I didn't, and don't, feel the need to talk about it."
End confessional
Duncan looked at him. "Brick?" When Brick met his gaze, he said, "That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard." Brick just crossed his arms and looked away from Duncan.
"I thought it was sweet," Zoey said.
"Yes, the story was quite touching," Alejandro agreed. He then took a bite of his gruel and spat it out. "Dios mio! How can this disgusting abomination be called food?"
"Like this. 'It's food,'" Scott replied.
"He means, 'How can anybody eat this?' Gosh!" Harold explained.
Scott just shrugged and took a bite. "If you don't want yours, I'll take it."
"Al's right. This stuff sucks," Duncan said. "Hey, anybody feel like ditching this crap for some real food?"
"I'm in," Alejandro told him. "Me too," Harold agreed.
"You had me at 'real food,'" Shawn agreed. "Gruel is all well and good in the middle of an apocalypse, but outside of training your stomach to handle gross stuff, there's no reason not to eat good food before then."
"Well, we've already got one teammate in solitary confinement, so we'll pass," Courtney said.
"Yeah, besides, you guys have no appreciation for good food," Scott added. Courtney gave her boyfriend a slightly disgusted glance, but shrugged it off.
Zoey gave Duncan and Alejandro a concerned look. "Are you suggesting we steal from Chris and Chef? Are you sure we should be doing that?"
Duncan smiled flippantly. "Come on, Red. It's for the good of our team." He gestured at another table, where the rest of the Badgers were eating bowls of the same gruel, looking miserable. "We can't let them eat that."
Zoey gave in after seeing the miserable expressions on her teammates' faces. "Okay. I mean, it's just Chris and Chef, right? It's not like we're stealing from nice people."
Duncan looked at Brick and Sammy. "How about it, Captain? You gonna provide for your troops?"
Brick looked at Sammy, who shrugged, then said, "We're not going to be a part of this, but we won't try to stop you."
The group snuck up to the Craft Services tent, and hid outside the back entrance. Shawn counted down on his fingers, visibly enough for everyone to see.
"I mean, come on!" Chris said. "I am nothing without my-" he was cut off by an explosion from outside the front entrance as soon as Shawn reached 'zero.' "What the heck was that?" Chris and Chef ran outside to investigate, while the campers quickly and stealthily raided the tent's kitchen and grabbed all the food they could. They then ran as fast as they could to their cabins, to share their haul with their teammates.
In the Boathouse, Sam tossed an oar through a life preserver. "Ten points!" he shouted halfheartedly. He then heard the door open, and turned to see who was coming in.
"Hello?" came Dakota's voice. "Is anybody in there?"
"Dakota?" Sam asked. "Is that you?"
"Sam?" Dakota asked. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I spent all day yesterday holding up a canoe, so my videogame withdrawl was acting up again," Sam explained. "I made Chef mad, and he sent me to solitary as punishment. What brings you here?"
"Huh? Oh! Chris told me to dump this bucket of chum out," Dakota said as she held up a bucket of rancid mystery meat. "He didn't say why, just said I should throw it away as soon as I got here," she said, then she dumped the chum in the water.
"I think he meant for you to throw it on me," Sam admitted after she had dumped the bucket out.
Dakota groaned. "Don't tell me I messed up again."
"No!" Sam said hastily. "I mean, I'm glad you didn't cover me in chum; that doesn't sound fun. Who cares if Chris is disappointed?"
Dakota sighed and sat down next to him. "I don't know. It's just that whenever I think I figured out this whole 'intern' thing, I do something wrong! I mean, I'm still cute and adorable, even though my hair is green and I'm going to need new clothes to match it, but it's like, I don't know, that's just not enough anymore. You know what I mean?"
"Kinda?" Sam said. "I mean, I've spent all these years getting good at video games, and I thought that was all I'd ever need. And sometimes it has been useful, like in laser tag and leechball, but then there are the times where it was like all of that was working against me, like the Boney Island trip, or the Awake-a-thon, or this challenge, when it was like all of that was working against me. And we've been talking about getting rid of Tyler? Dude free-climbed a cliff wall in the trust challenge. I know I couldn't have done that. Lindsay? She's so-so at stuff, but she's luckier than I am, and that's got to count for something. And the others don't seem like they're having that problem either." He sighed. "Maybe we need to branch out our skill trees, y'know?"
Dakota looked confused. "Huh?"
"You know, we need to find some other stuff we're good at," Sam explained. "So we'll still be an awesome gamer and a very attractive and fashionable girl, but we'll also be more than that."
Dakota smiled. "So I guess it'll take more than just a makeover, huh?"
Sam shrugged. "Probably. But I think it'll be worth it." He looked at his striped shirt. "I probably could use a makeover, though." They both giggled.
When the Badger trio returned to their cabin with PB&J sandwiches and ice cream, they were applauded by their teammates. "Man, it's good to be eating real food," Trent commented. "We haven't had anything not cooked by Chef since...the runway model challenge, I think?"
"You are the greatest, dudes!" Geoff said.
"Heck yeah, man," Duncan agreed. "After this challenge, I figured we deserved some real food."
"I wonder if any of those war stories Chef told were true," Bridgette mused.
Sierra took a small notebook out of one of her bags. "Note to self: look up Chef's military history for blogs."
"I am a little bit surprised at how good I am at this, though," Zoey said.
"Perhaps you shouldn't be," Alejandro said. "Work in Cirque de Sol requires respectable core strength, flexibility, and agility, and it seems you have not been lax in your training."
Sky took a bite of ice cream. "Tell me about it." She then launched into a comprehensive discussion of gymnastics training with Alejandro.
Duncan tapped Zoey on the shoulder. "So, are you glad we did this?"
"Yeah," Zoey agreed. "Did you know everything would work out this well?"
"No, but I had an idea it would," Duncan said. "I figured we could use some encouragement, and this did the job pretty nicely."
"Didn't you worry about getting caught?" Zoey asked.
Duncan smirked. "Worrying is for chumps. If you want to really live, you've got to know when to seize the moment."
Zoey smiled. "So, when you got put in juvie, was that a result of 'seizing the moment?'" Upon seeing him flinch, she hastily amended, "Was that in bad taste? I'm sorry!"
Duncan laughed slightly. "No, no, it's okay, I walked into that one. But yeah, I was being reckless. I didn't know when not to seize the moment, and I paid the price for it. But I'd like to think I've gotten smarter since then."
"Attention remaining boot camp recruits!" Chef announced over the loudspeaker. "The next evolution of your training begins tomorrow, at 0700 hours! And if I catch the sucka who set off those smoke bombs and took my food, yo' butt is mine!"
The footage skipped ahead to the next day, when the eleven remaining campers hanging by their knees from the branches of one of two trees, as the rest watched. "What you are experiencing," Chef said, "is an ancient form of torture. By now, the blood has begun rushin' to your head." The camera zoomed in on his face as he described what the teens were going through. "The next stage is nausea, followed by dizziness and a flushed appearance, as the blood begins to pool in your eyes." The focus shifted to Sam, who was looking woozy and cross-eyed. "You may experience faintin' spells," he said, as the gamer dropped.
"Game over..." Sam groaned from the ground.
Over time, the campers began to fall. Harold was the next to drop, followed by Sammy. Duncan fell hard afterward, then Courtney, followed by Zoey.
"You can do it, Shawn!" Owen shouted.
"Scott, It's up to you, man!" DJ shouted.
"Don't worry, guys," Scott said. "Back home, my cousins and I would play this game, where we would hang over a fire ant hill until someone fell, and I...usually...won..." It was no surprise when he finally fell. Shawn followed soon after.
On the other tree, Alejandro quietly asked Brick, "How badly do you want to win this challenge?"
Brick frowned. "Are you trying to offer me a deal, or are you asking what I can give you in return, or..." he trailed off.
"Of course not!" Alejandro said, seeming slightly offended. "I simply get the feeling that a victory in this particular challenge means more to you than it does to me."
Brick admitted this was the case. "I just kind of feel that if I can't win this challenge, which I have trained for, it reflects badly on me."
"I fully understand," Alejandro said. "Well, while it may be a blow to my pride to allow you to win, I will have plenty of other opportunities, and as we are the only two remaining, it would make little difference." He then fell to the ground.
Moments later, the Gophers had taken Brick up onto their shoulders. "Brick!" Chef shouted. "Congratulations, soldier," he said as he saluted the cadet. "I'd go to war with you any time."
"I appreciate it, sir!" Brick saluted back.
"Glad to hear it, soldier!" Chef said as his team took him away to celebrate. "Glad to hear it." A tear rolled down his cheek.
Confessional: Brick
"That Alejandro seems like a really great guy."
Confessional: Alejandro
"While the victory would have been nice, I find gaining Brick's trust to be more potentially valuable. If I should have an opportunity, it will make getting him eliminated easier."
End confessional
While the others were distracted, Topher pulled Sierra aside. "I need your advice. I have to make a choice tonight, one that will determine the course of the entire game, at least for my team."
Sierra looked at him. "Go on."
Topher elaborated, "I have two choices of how to vote tonight. I can play it safe and vote with the majority, or I can risk it all on a tiebreaker. If it goes my way, I'll end up with all the power on my team!"
"Sounds like you want to do that," Sierra said.
"Yeah," Topher admitted. "Only problem is, if I do, I'm going to have to play rather dishonestly, and, well, I don't want to do it if it means you'll think less of me."
"Topher," Sierra said, looking him in the eyes. "That's just how the game is played. Sure, I helped vote Justin out for playing dishonestly, but that wasn't because I thought his gameplay was wrong, it was because his gameplay would have been a problem for me. Well, that and he was fake-flirting with Katie and Sadie, and that made me mad. Also, I was still angry at you, and it was easy to take it out on him," she admitted. "Hm, I guess I kinda hate him. My point is, if that's how you want to play, that's okay. Just don't start bullying people for no reason, or fake-flirting with girls, because then I will be mad at you."
Topher smirked. "You don't need to worry about that. Even if I wanted to do those things, I have to keep up a good public image if I ever want to host this show."
"Well, you can't be much worse at it than Chris," Sierra said, in a less serious tone.
"I know, right? You saw how he got drunk right before this challenge? So unprofessional."
"And how bad the challenge before this one was? He could have at least paid for good parachutes!"
"And how he introduced the immunity idols in episode 16 instead of saving them for a future season? What do you think he's even going to do to make the next season of Total Drama stand out?"
"And the forced teen lingo!" both said at the same time.
"We can only hope that not much made it in to the final cut," Sierra added. Both super-fans chuckled.
"I've missed being able to talk to you like this," Topher said.
"Me too, Topher. Me too." Sierra gave him a hug.
"I have seven marshmallows on my plate," Chris said at the Campfire Ceremony. "And these marshmallows represent the campers...that will continue to be...campers. Here." Scott rolled his eyes, while Tyler and Lindsay visibly looked nervous. "You've all cast your votes in the confession cam. If I do not call your name, you must immediately go down to the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and go home. And you can't come back. Ever."
"One of you will be leaving, but it will not be Scott, Courtney, Scarlett, Topher, DJ, or Lindsay," he continued. "Sam, Tyler, this is the final marshmallow of the night. And the votes clearly say...
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"We have a tie!"
"WHAT?" Sam, Scott, DJ, and Courtney all shouted at once. They then all looked at Topher.
"What can I say?" the wannabe host said. "I really wanted to see how the Great Wawanakwa Thumb-Wrestling Tournament ended."
"Awesome idea!" Chris said. "Gentlemen, take your positions!"
Sam and Tyler then engaged in thumb-wrestling. Sam put up a good fight, his gamer reflexes aiding him. However, in the end, Tyler proved too difficult an opponent.
"And the winner of the final marshmallow is...Tyler!" Chris announced, to the applause of Lindsay, the golf-claps of Scarlett and Topher, and the silence of the other three.
Sam gave his friends an apologetic look. "Sorry, guys. I feel bad leaving when you still need me. But hey, making it this far was an accomplishment, right?"
Sam then walked towards the Boat of Losers, but before he could board, the group heard Dakota shout, "Wait!"
"Hey!" the gamer said with a renewed smile. "You came to see me off!"
"If we're going to make a habit of interrupting the departure of the eliminees..." Chris began, but was interrupted by Dakota tossing her red intern shirt into his face. (The heiress had already changed back into her pink outfit. Get your mind out of the gutter.)
"I've been working my butt off doing setup for you, my hair is now permanently green, and I asked the intern in charge of editing, and he said I haven't even had much screen time since I started this crummy job. I. Quit."
"Alright, fiiiiiiiine. Get on the boat." Chris said. Sam and Dakota both boarded the Boat of Losers, and it sped off.
Courtney glared at Topher. "So, when you told us to vote for Tyler, this was your plan all along?"
Topher nodded. "Exactly." Courtney lunged at him, and the only reason she didn't tear him limb from limb is because Chef held her back.
Confessional: Courtney
"This is not how I wanted the first few days of my new relationship to go."
End confessional
Topher stood outside the door of the boys' side of the Gopher cabin and knocked. When Brick answered the door, he asked, "Can I bunk here for a few nights? I got on a few of my teammates' bad sides tonight, and I think it might be best for my health if I didn't sleep near them for at least a week."
"Certainly," Brick told him. "Truth be told, I'd appreciate the company. Unless you have a problem with it," he said to B. B simply shrugged.
"Thanks. You guys are life-savers. Possibly literally," Topher said, as he brought his bags in.
Bonus clip:
On the Boat of Losers, Dakota said to Sam, "You know, I've always kinda had a thing for nerds."
Sam looked at her. "I'm both excited and afraid I'm misinterpreting what you said just now."
Dakota smiled at him. "When we git back, do you wanna get dinner together, or something?"
Sam's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh, yes!"
Sorry for the wait, but this chapter just did not want to come together. The last one was fairly easy to write, but this one was...not. While I thought it was fairly obvious that Brick would win this particular challenge, and I borrowed elements from both canon and the Total Shuffled Island version of this challenge, I kept getting hung up on small details. Regardless, I'm fairly satisfied with the end product.
So, the plot thickens on the Bass team! Honestly, they've been my favorite team to write ever since Ezekiel's elimination, simply because I love the intra-team politics.
I've always had a bit of a fondness for Sam. Though by no means is he an All-Star (seriously, why wasn't Brick in that season?), I do think his abilities are often sold short, and I do find his character quite likeable. Samkota is also a ship that I'm quite fond of. Still, Sam's elimination here made sense to me.
Elimination order:
52: Dave, the Germaphobe
51: Staci, the Compulsive Liar
50: Dakota, the Fame-Monger
49: Sugar, the Pageant Queen
48: Amy, the Evil Twin
47: Leonard, the LARPer
46: Anne Maria, the Jersey Shore Reject
45: Izzy, the Psycho Hose Beast (still out there)
44: Rodney, the Lovesick Farm Boy
43: Max, the Super-Villain Wannabe
42: Jo, the Take-No-Prisoners Jockette
41: Ezekiel, the Homeschooled Guy
38 (Tie): Gwen, the Loner
38 (Tie): Dawn, the Moonchild
38 (Tie): Eva, the Hothead
37: Ella, the Fairytale Princess
36: Justin, the Eye Candy
35: Cody, the Flirty Geek
33 (tie): Mike, the Introspective
33 (tie): Aiden, the OC Hate Sink
32: Sadie, the other BFFFL
31: Beardo, the Human Soundboard
30: Sam, the Gamer
