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Chapter Twenty Two
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Severus Snape was doing something he had not done in literally years. He was gaping, open-mouthed in utter shock. Surely Albus couldn't be serious. Now? As in right now?
"How?" Miss Granger asked, shaking Severus out of his stupor.
He glared at her, more out of habit more than for any true reason. He wanted to know the answer as well, and was actually glad not to be the one to ask.
Albus grinned -- which to Severus was a truly frightening sight to behold. The man smiled, he let joy and mischief dance in his eyes, but he *didn't* grin.
"Didn't you know? I'm perfectly qualified to officiate."
Beside him, Hermione Granger's eyes widened as she slowly shook her head. "No, I didn't know that," she replied in a hushed whisper. Severus was rather put out, that unlike him, she'd, at least, managed to keep her jaw from falling open.
"Well," he said suddenly, not quite sure where the quip came from, "at least this will spare us the machinations of mothers intent on a huge send off."
Granger giggled -- *giggled*.
Unfortunately, the sound -- usually very grating on his nerves -- served to trigger a strange response this time. The corners of his mouth twitched upward and he felt a nearly insane urge to laugh. Severus Snape, Potions Master, ex-deatheater, did NOT *giggle*. He stifled the urge quickly. Judging by the renewed surprise in Granger's expression, however, he was certain the almost smile *hadn't* gone unnoticed. That suspicion was verified the moment she spoke.
"We may not have outwitted her before, but at least we've got the jump this time," she quipped, looking up at him and grinning wryly. "Just because we're doing exactly what she wants is neither here nor there."
He snorted. "And just *where* is it?" he asked before he could censor his words.
**Now where the hell did *that* come from?**
Following a quick snort of surprised laughter, Granger's jaw dropped and she stared at him. She recovered all too quickly, however. "With the squid in the lake," she replied, her eyes dancing merrily.
That was it. He couldn't stop it this time. It erupted out of him despite his best efforts and one Severus Snape found himself collapsing in laughter onto one of Albus' overly stuffed chairs. His outburst, apparently contagious, seemed to send Miss Granger into a similar state. Even Albus was chuckling.
The laughter left as quickly as it had come and he wondered why he'd been laughing in the first place. Admittedly, it was a good comeback, but it hadn't been *that* funny.
A gentle clearing of Albus' throat had the two of them instantly focused on the older wizard. "I know from your mother that she has already posted the banns, Severus."
Severus nodded, despite the fact that Albus hadn't actually asked it as a question.
"Of course, that makes this only slightly shocking."
"Shocking, Sir?" Granger asked. "I mean more so than the whole thing to start with?"
"Banns are usually posted a *minimum* of 6 months before the wedding actually takes place, Miss Granger," Albus replied. "Certain members of society will look upon such . . . haste with suspicion for some time, I'm afraid."
Granger's frown deepened. "Suspicion? Why?"
Severus rolled his eyes. "Why do most people get married quickly?" he asked sourly.
"Oh!" Granger gasped, turning red . . . again. "Oh my!"
"Indeed."
"That's going to add some flames to the gossip," she muttered.
Severus snorted. That was putting it mildly.
"Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about it," Albus said gently. "It will die down quickly enough, once everyone realizes there obviously was no, erm, 'reason'."
They both nodded, neither one of them willing to meet the gaze of the other. That was a subject neither one of them was comfortable contemplating at all.
"Well, then," Albus said brightly -- too brightly in Severus' opinion. "Shall we get on with it?"
"Wait," Granger said suddenly, stalling Severus' automatic nod. He'd given up protesting the whole procedure what seemed *hours* ago. He frowned and turned the full force of his glare on his 'bride'.
"What now?" he snarled.
**What do you think? She's changing her mind.**
"This may not be the ideal situation, certainly not what I'd planned when I thought about it at all," she said quietly, "but I'd at least like my friends to be here. I know it's too late to include my parents, but Ron, Harry, and Ginny aren't too much to ask, are they?"
**Great!** Severus thought sourly. **Just great!**
"Of course," Albus replied instantly, "forgive me for being a doddering old fool. Sometimes I forget what it's like to be young."
Severus rolled his eyes, but forced himself to remain silent. Anything he said would simply prolong the agony.
Albus snapped his fingers and instantly a house elf appeared.
"How may Winky be helping the headmaster, Sir?"
Albus quickly listed off the students Granger had requested be present, asking the house elf to tell them their presence was required in the Great Hall.
"The Great Hall, Headmaster?" Severus protested, interrupting the headmaster. "Surely that's a bit too . . . public."
"Not at all Severus," Albus demurred, "most of the student body are in classes right now. The only ones present will be those invited."
Severus frowned as Albus continued giving the tiny house elf instructions, including a summons for Severus' mother, as well as Minerva. That was five 'guests', or perhaps more appropriately, witnesses. This . . . event was now taking place in the Great Hall, not the headmaster's office. It was rapidly turning into a spectacle, not just a procedure to get through with. He was even telling the bloody creature to make a special lunch -- to be considered the wedding feast.
Severus groaned. No doubt Albus intended on an 'announcement' at said meal. Unfortunately, Severus was missing a rather noticeable accessory. He hadn't really given it much thought before, but had figured that he could simply get Miss Granger an appropriate ring the next time he was in Hogsmeade. He hadn't considered that Miss Granger would want anything *approaching* a 'normal' wedding, considering the circumstances, so her request to have her friends present threw him and he was beginning to wonder if waiting on the ring might not be a *very* bad idea. At the very least the lack of a ring would add to the rampant speculation and *that* was something he could well do without.
"Albus, how long will this take to arrange?" he asked abruptly, the moment the house elf disappeared.
"Not more than thirty minutes, I should assume," Albus replied, surprise flitting briefly across the his face.
"Make it an hour," he said, and spun around, immediately striding toward the stairwell.
"Where are you going, Severus?"
"There's something I have to do," Severus replied enigmatically without bothering to turn around, smirking at the muttered replies he couldn't quite make out.
He made it as far as the entrance hall before his luck ran out and he ran into his mother. "Mother," he acknowledged, nodding to her. "I will see you in one hour," he offered, sweeping past her and out the front door.
"What's going on, Severus?" she called after him.
He didn't reply, simply kept moving. The door shutting behind him drowned out her reply. Severus felt a very real sense of vindictive pleasure at that. No doubt she was furious at him. He did wonder, briefly, if she would follow to demand a reply, but realized she probably wouldn't. She would go to Albus instead, her curiosity as to what the headmaster might have summoned her for would override her curiosity as to where he was going. At least he was reasonably sure it would. It never paid to be certain of assumptions where his mother was concerned.
Fortunately, it appeared he was correct this time. As he passed through Hogwarts entry gates he sighed in relief and prepared to apparate to Hogsmeade. It was then a sudden thought occurred to him. He couldn't make his intended purchase. Doing so would send the wrong message to all the wrong people.
He sighed again, this time for a very different reason. Giving in to the inevitable -- it seemed he'd been doing that a lot lately -- he apparated to a place he hadn't seen in nearly a full two decades. He apparated to Snape Manor.
**
Hermione Granger sat abruptly as her legs pre-emptorily decided they simply would not support her one moment longer. She was getting married. Married . Now . To Professor Snape.
**Oh my!**
"Are you all right, Miss Granger?" the headmaster asked gently, laying his hand comfortingly on her shoulder.
She fought the impulse to shake it off. **No, I'm *NOT* all right!** she thought viciously. **How could I be?**
"Yes, Sir, I'm . . . fine. I'm just . . . in shock, I think," she replied.
Headmaster Dumbledore nodded, sympathy shining from his normally bright eyes. "Understandable."
"It's just that I never really thought. . . ." Hermione's words trailed off. How was she supposed to explain this to the headmaster without giving the wrong impression? She knew what she was doing. She wasn't going to back out, had absolutely no intention of doing so . . . but, all the same, she was absolutely terrified. Everything was happening so fast, everything spinning beyond her control. It was like her life had suddenly become a roller coaster ride, one she hadn't bought a ticket to, and one she wasn't allowed to get off of.
Fortunately, before she felt forced to say something more, and before the headmaster could utter any soothing platitudes that would do absolutely nothing to change the situation, the stone stairway began moving and the headmaster moved away with a polite, "excuse me a moment."
"What in Merlin's name is going on?"
**Oh no! Mrs. Snape!** Hermione jumped to her feet, instinctively patting down her hair and smoothing the wrinkles out of her robe. This woman was going to be her mother-in-law.
**Mother-in-law!!**
Hermione gulped, a dizzy spell dancing behind her eyes. Oh, how she wished her parents hadn't already gone home. They were going to come back, but by then, it would all be over with. She barely heard the quiet conversation between Mrs. Snape and the headmaster, the world around her sort of fuzzing out until she heard a delighted laugh that echoed around the room.
**Hermione Granger! This isn't some fairy tale! You're doing this to save your Professor's life.**
"Miss Granger, Hermione," Mrs. Snape exclaimed, striding toward her, hands outstretched.
Hermione took them automatically.
"Mrs. Snape," she acknowledged.
"I thought we agreed that you would call me Serapha?"
**That was before that blasted contract!** Hermione thought vindictively. "Right," she replied politely. "In all the confusion, I forgot."
"Of course you did, dear child," responded easily, pausing as her expression turned hopeful. "Could I ask a favor?"
Hermione blinked. **And the surprises keep on coming!** "What kind of favor?" she asked warily.
TBC
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