Author's Note:. This week has been mildly horrid in the real world. So extra big thanks to all who read, follow, and especially comment. I really appreciate any warm words. It'It's helping me keep on keeping on.

Warning -- Rated M. Sex at the end. So some may want to skip it and others may want to skip to it. Either way - I hope you enjoy reading.


It's early Sunday morning.

Last night, they agreed to enjoy a Sunday morning lie in - with the plan to wander around town once up and just see what they see and go with whatever inspires them.

But...

Luke is awake.

Penelope is awake.

Both are pretending otherwise.

Neither is sure exactly what woke them.

Neither can escape their thoughts.


Penelope's brain is going over and over the letter of resignation she had penned when Reid was in prison - how she told Emily that she would have to quit if something worse happened to Spencer.

She had been distraught when she wrote and was over the moon that she had not needed to resign... but since then she did find herself wondering what she would - could - do if she wasn't with the BAU...

But how could she leave her family?

But if she and Luke decide to be together for real...

... more and more, she felt that was something she wanted to have happen...

...she really didn't know if she could be both his work teammate and his life teammate...

...And it wasn't because of worries about fraternization rules or that they couldn't be professional...

...it was more that neither of them would ever be able to step away from all the ick...

...so often she basically just hid when off work...but was it because she needed alone time or because her.partner couldn't be told about the intricacies of her work...even Kevin?

...maybe...having someone who understands without explanation would be an improvement?

There was a reason that the team spent so much time together outside of work...

What about if he offered to leave the team? Could that work? In some ways he was much more replaceable than her.

Ugg no.

Think of the times he'd been the one to bring down the unsub or had saved one of the team.

Luke was special and him being there made the rest of her BAU family better and safer...be had worked so hard to complete his Profiler training...she was glad he was here...

Scratch...

Protecting Reid in prison...

But would being together affect their work...?

What would happen?

What could happen?

...if...if... she had to choose between Luke and another member of the team...could she? It would already be hard - but if she let this go deeper...what could - would...

Curses.

So could she leave?

Ando Penelope's brain loops back to the start...circling back over the same ground...over and over...

Double curses.


Luke can hardly remember it - but he had another nightmare last night.

It didn't seem fair.

Yesterday had been so incredible.

He had been so perfectly happy and then he had to have a fucking nightmare and ruin it.

They had only been asleep an hour or so - when suddenly he was flailing and screaming himself awake.

His jaw tightens as vague impressions of what happened try to coalesce in his brain.

Thank goodness he hadn't hurt her this time...but how could he know he wouldn't next time?

She had woken up with him - of course - had wrapped her arms around his chest and crooned him back to sleep...

He couldn't believe how much he loved her already- hell he was thinking about things like moving in with her...

Fuck.

Usually when he wakes up from a nightmare - especially if Roxy isn't there - he ends up having to get up for a few hours.

Often he's had to work out or shower just to make his brain stop reliving the images which had torn him from sleep...

...but last night he had just been able to let them go with her help...

..go back to sleep...

...but was that a fair thing to put on her?

Double Fuck.

...but she knew now right? wasn't it up to her to make the choice? she wouldn't thank him for making it for her...didn't he need to trust her?

...but what if - when - he hurt her again by accident?

Triple Fuck.

...what if something happened on a case and he couldn't come home to her whole?

..or at all?

...she'd be hurt then...could he do that to her?

Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck. Fuck.

...but she knew better than almost anyone the risk of the job...

...would that make it harder? easier?

FUCK IT.


At the same moment - both of them give up on their thoughts - and roll over toward the other...finding themselves unexpectedly looking at a very awake other person.

Their other person.

"Good morning, Penelope."

"Good morning, Luke."

They stare at each other.

Each wondering what to say.

Then both almost at the same moment know what they want to ask...

"Pen- "

"Lu- "

"You go firs-"

"You go firs- "

Penelope kisses him then and then lays her two fingers over his lips.

"You go first this time. I went first last time."

So he swallows hard. His lips moving under her fingers into the shape of a kiss.

Then he nods.

His is a question anyways...

"I...I...just wanted to ask if we were going to talk about what...what...comes next...with us...today? Or did you think we would wait for tomorrow?"

She answers with just the hint of a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes...

"We never really decided did we?"

"No."

"Tomorrow?"

The one word comes out in a small voice that she cannot help.

"Tomorrow. Yes. Penelope?"

There is both unmeasurable relief and incalculable fear in his tone.

"Yes?"

"Can we...I mean...can..."

"What is it Luke? You can ask me anything."

He looks at.her a long while.

And she just looks back.

Why are they both so brave in this moment? Why are they so afraid?

Yesterday had been like a perfect first date...but was that enough...today...maybe today...

...just for one day...

"Pen...remember in the hallway? Your hallway? when...when...you..we...told each other... we..."

He closes his eyes. Swallowing convulsively.

y was this so fucking hard?

It was because it was too fucking easy...

"...Pen...when we told each other we would love each other we loved each other - somehow - no matter what?"

"Yes."

"...Can we...can I...can I.."

He opens his eyes.

He knows what he wants to say.

He just has to say it

"Can we be in love today? I...I...know this is still not straight forward. But it also is. We do need to talk and make a decision together. And I am so glad that is our plan... But...but... I love you so much and if I only have one more day left when I am allowed to tell you...show you...just be in love with you...I need...I want...so...um...can we be together today? Really together? Like just for one day pretend we have already decided we are going to be together forever? Then...then...tomorrow..."

He can't finish - so she does...

"Then tomorrow we can make our choice?"

"Yeah. Maybe that's too hard. But...I need... I need... to be able to tell...show...be with you...oh fuck. sorry. I mean I...we...were together yesterday...and it was so so perfect...but...but...but I couldn't...didn't...it was wonderful...but not not everything...I..."

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

He looks literally in pain.

"I think I know what you mean. Yesterday was like a first date...or.maybe a first - second - third - fifth - twenty third date all rolled into one..." he can't believe it but of course she understands - that is why - one of the reasons why - he loves her "... but the day was a question. I think what you're saying is today you want us to be a statement? A fact? We are not dating today. We are together? Forever. Forever for one day at least. Is that what you mean, Luke?"

"I...Yeah."

A single heartbeat...a thousand heartbeats...

"Ok."

A thousand heartbeats...a single heartbeat.

"Penelope Garcia. I love you. You are my world. My everything."

He leans forward to kiss her but she pulls back. Needing to say her part first...

"Luke Alvez. I love you. You are my world. My everything."

They don't kiss then.

They just look at each other.

Look and look and look and look and look.

Slowly they come together in a kiss.

Neither leading - neither following.

Both giving - both taking.

A very very slow unhurried kiss.

They are each other's.

There is no need to rush.

Their hands find each other - their fingers intertwine.

They are just looking at each other again.

Something inside of Luke relaxes.

"Penelope?"

"Mmmm?"

"Is there something...or things...you want from me today but maybe scares you? Or that you don't feel like you should ask for... and I mean anything. In bed...out of bed...whatever."

"You don't like easy questions, do you Newbie?"

"Never!"

They laugh.

"Seriously, Pen...?"

She looks away - blowing out a long breath.

"Just...just pretend you've already told me. Or wait..."

Luke rolls out of bed and runs down the spiral staircase - naked as a jaybird - grabs the hotel pad and two pens and the runs back up to bed.

"Here - how about we both take fifteen minutes - I'll time it...and we can both write out things that the other would know if we'd been together for years. They can be simple things like whether or not we like brussel sprouts or bigger things. Then we can take turns reading whichever ones seem right to share...then it will be fair."

"um...ok..."

He sets the timer - and they both start writing.

Penelope has rolled over onto her tummy - propping herself up on a pillow - her knees bent.

She looks like a teenager doing her homework. She even chews the end of her pen.

He sits on the side of the bed. He gave her the pad - so he has put the single page he had taken from the pad on his bed side table.

They write at different rates - each sometimes writing furiously - one point following another - at other times they pause...write a word...cross it out...think...try again...

When the alarm beeps they each look down at their little square of paper and are vaguely surprised how full it is.

"Luke?"

"I just need to run to the loo - then I'll be back. Do you want me to make us a couple cups of coffee while I am downstairs?"

"I will! Good idea. Do you want to get dressed too?"

"Yeah. Maybe that's a good idea. Just something comfy?"

"Sounds perfect."

Penelope goes to the drawer she put her jammies in...she sees the copper and teal silky set she was wearing when he dropped off the cat tree - but decides to keep that for tonight - instead she pulls on the pink polka dot fuzzy pants and the t-shirt she wore the first night the stayed together.

While Penelope is in the washroom. Luke pulls on some sweats and a t-shirt and busies himself with the single cup coffee maker. They bought real cream on the way home from dinner the first day - so they don't have to use the horrid powdered creamer. He pours a dollop in both mugs - he usually drinks his black but likes cream as a treat - and if there ever was a day to treat himself...

By the time Penelope emerges - the coffee is on the table in front of the couch and he's flipped on the fireplace. As she settles herself - he takes his turn in the loo - taking a few extra minutes to look at himself in the mirror after brushing his teeth.

He runs his hands through his hair.

He'll need to trim his beard later.

He looks rested though.

Fairly at peace.

Not always qualities he finds in his reflection.

He sees...he sees...a good man.

Maybe not good at everything - but one who tries and often - usually - almost always - can be trusted to do the right thing.

He needs to trust that.

Penelope seems to see it.

They haven't fought since the night of the first nightmare - but he knows that is artificial - they are both too strong in their opinions and passions to never clash tongues and swords.

Could they survive their tempers?

Their insecurities?

Their pride?

Today they pretend - act - as though they can - as though they have - as though they will.

But what about tomorrow?

And the next day and the next day?

He has been lonely.

He realises that part of all of this is not just her - but that he is ready to be with someon...

...so does that mean that if they choose to not go ahead with this... he will seek out someone else?

He will.

He does not want to be alone anymore.

He needs to try to have someone in his life that is his very own and that he belongs to.

He is not sure he could feel the same about another person - what he feels for Penelope is unique.

...but there are lots of types of love - he has seen that - if nothing else in this job - and not just one type is best.

There are many flavours of love with value and wholesomeness.

He knows now.

Just as he knows that even if they decide to not be everything to each other forever - he will never regret this weekend...

This time with her.

He is hers and she is his.

...and maybe they will decide to keep going...he certainly could be convinced to follow that path...

With that thought - he steps out to be with her...to share some secrets he has never told another person...to be hers ..even if just for one day.

Today is going to be glorious.

Tomorrow...tomorrow...might suck. Or maybe not...

But...but...isn't that is always true?

Another thing he knows from the job...


As Luke enters the room - Penelope turns her face to him with her heart dropping smile.

"So Newbie - what is your opinion on brussel sprouts? I personally love them - especially with a balsamic glaze - but rarely cook them. You?"

"Well Chica - I cannot lie - I don't think I have ever eaten one - so I have no idea."

"Of course you haven't! So how do we do this next part? Just take turns sharing. Can we ask questions and just let the conversation flow until we feel ready for the next revelation?"

"Sounds good. I'm not hungry yet...but let's break when we are ok?"

"That is smart. Thanks for making the coffee, Luke."

"My pleasure, Penelope."

How he says her name makes her shiver. This is so crazy. Oh well...in for a penny...


They start to swap truths.

Some make them laugh...

Penelope cannot eat pie with a spoon and does not like icecream on pie. It's either pie or icecream and only heathens eat pie or cake with a spoon. A dessert has to be at least in the bread pudding category to warrant spoon usage. No debate.

Luke will not wear red socks. It makes him feel like his ankles are bleeding.

Penelope's favourite Ninja Turtle was Raphael.

Luke likes Donatello.

Luke is afraid of horses...but acts like he isn't.

Penelope has a reoccuring nightmare about dolphins eating sandwiches.

Luke owned two very special guineapigs as a kid. Their names were Scratchums and Poe. He wrote stories about them for his highschool English class.

Others are more personal...

They talk about their families...

...and some of the trauma they've each been through...

Penelope talks about the group she led...and some other volunteer stuff she does when she can...like how she leads workshops sometimes for girls to learn computer skills...

Luke tells how he sometimes volunteers to help deaf children learn to swim. Penelope knew that he could sign because of the...um...recognizance she did when he first joined the team. But he tells her it's because one of his cousins...Sophia... was born deaf and he babysat her from the time he was twelve...until he left for the Army... He doesn't see her very often anymore - the last time was at her wedding a couple years ago which he unbelievably got leave to attend - but his mother told him that she just heard she has a baby on the way...

Finally after they've transitioned away from some of the more thorny stuff...and back into the land of light..Luke tosses her a lopsided smile...

"Well Chica - I am now officially starving and they are still serving breakfast...so I think we should go eat and then I want to come back up and finish up the last few things left on my list. Would that be ok?"

"Perfect. Um I think everything I have left is um...a bit racy..."

He leans forward and kisses her neck then whispers in her ear..

"Me too, Penelope. Me too."

Penelope leaps to her feet...

"Well then Mr Alvez...I think we had better hurry...so we can hurry back!"


Breakfast is a hotel breakfast.

So they enjoy it and shift the conversation to options for the afternoon. The weather is still good - so their plan is to head into town and visit some of the cool shops they've walked by - then find somewhere that appeals to them for dinner. There was a woodfire pizza place that looked incredible that they both thought could definately be an option.

Tomorrow morning they agree to try to take in the Cave and Basin Historic Site before catching their shuttle in the afternoon.

Most of the conversation is light and easy...but just as they are finishing up Penelope gives Luke a nervous look and blurts:

"Luke, I...I know we said we'd decide next steps for...um...us on the last day of the trip...but I was kind of thinking. Would it be ok if we put it off 'till we were home? Maybe you could come to my place for dinner - I mean... as soon as...as soon as...we can make it happen case wise and um talk then? I just...I just...don't want to miss a second of this weekend...and..um...but...I mean I get it if you think we should make a decision before we get back to reality...I jus-"

"Pen? Stop."

"I -"

"Pen?"

"Yes?"

"I think that is an excellent idea. Shall we go back to our room now?"

"um...yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Cool."


Luke and Penelope hold hands - fingers interlaced - all the way back to their room. Neither says another word until the door closes behind them and Penelope says one word as she ducks into the washroom:

"Teeth."

Luke again flips back on the fireplace...he then runs up to the bedroom area and grabs a couple condoms from his nightside table - just in case - stuffing them into his pocket...

When Penelope comes out of the washroom - he takes his turn to duck in with a smile and a quick "See you in a sec, Chica."

When Luke returns to the living room, Penelope is sitting on the couch gazing into the fire - clasping her sheet of answers tightly in front of her.

Luke quietly pads over to the couch and sits. Penelope was clearly lost in thought since when he sits she startles then smiles guiltily.

"Luke?

"mmhmm, Hermosa?"

"There's one thing on my page that isn't...um.. racey that I think I should tell you now...but I don't want to talk about it or delve into it...because I won't know the answers .."

"You can tell me anything...and always only as much as you are comfortable.."

Penelope gives him a sad smile.

"Thank you. I just...I wanted to tell you that...I have not made a decision or anything...or even really know what I feel about the whole idea...but even since Reid...ever since Reid had his...had his troubles...I have been thinking about whether I might want to leave the BAU."

She holds up her hand to show she has just a bit more to say, then:

"I have some random ideas about what I might do...but nothing concrete...but I just thought you should know I have been thinking about whether there are other options for awhile...and it wasn't...um..triggered by...um... this...but...

...I also know it might come into the big discussion when we have it...and...and I don't want to pressure you or anything or have the big discussion now...but I think it's better if you know."

She lowers her hand and smiles. He's been nodding understandingly - his lips a sad but not upset smile.

"Thank you for telling me. I have...I have one more thing I should tell you too...but I didn't write it down...because I didn't think of it until after the fifteen minutes were up...but...Penelope...I...um..do love you like we've been saying...hell, I mean I can't tell you how much or all the ways in which I do...this..um...this has been possibly the best weekend...few weeks...of...um... my life...but...I realised this morning...and...like you...I don't want to have what you're calling the big discussion now...and I also don't want to talk about what I am going to tell you...and I don't want you to feel any pressure or anything around what I am going to say...it's a...very...new...thought... ...but.. ...but.. I think... I think I might want a...a...relationship... someone to come home to and love... and I've never wanted that before... and if we um decide that we aren't...going to...aren't..." his voice cracks "...aren't going to...keep...going with...this...I...I...I... may...I may.."

Luke can't finish... so she finishes for him... gently...carefully...lovingly...

"Want to find someone else?"

A single tear rolls down his cheek.

He clenches his jaw.

He does not cry.

He nods once and looks away.

Hating himself. Hating the moment.

She turns his face to look at her.

Cups his cheek.

Brushes away the tear with her thumb.

"Luke? Thank you for telling me. Thank you. I am so happy to hear you say that. You deserve the best in life - no matter what we decide is next for us. I want you to have a good life - the best life - no matter what ok? Whether we choose to have it together or not. And we may choose to keep going. But even if we don:t... I love you. I. Love. You. I will always love you in one way or another. Ok? "

"I hate this."

"I know. Me too. The fairy tales make it look so easy but it's not...well it is but it isn't...but I think we're getting there...and..." she decides a cheeky smile and a joke might help "...and I am never going to stop giving you..."

He pauses and raises an eyebrow...so they finish it together...

"CRAP!"

The joke works perfectly.

Of course.

Luke is not happy or totally ok.

For that matter...neither is she...

But... things have relaxed a bit...so Penelope forges on...leaving the bigger questions for later...

"So Mr. Alvez...I believe you have some sexy things written down that you might want to tell me?"

"Do you?"

"Indeed I do, lover. Indeed I do."


Apparently Luke doesn't like having his armpits touched...and Penelope will hit anyone who blows in her ear...and Luke does not like anything resembling spanking or derogatory names...but he's ok with light bondage play or blindfolds...as long as it's nice and loving...and Penelope loves having her inner wrists kissed and her throat and between her breasts...but she's ticklish on the soles of her feet...

The biggest secrets they each share are strangely complimentary...

He likes - but not everytime - being the one who takes the lead and who does most of the touching and doing and...but that he worries that makes him some sort of macho asshole...the kind of guy she accused him of being when they first met...

She likes - but not everytime - having her partner do most of the work and just lie back and enjoy...and just be loved...but that she worries and feels that she has to apologize and that she struggles to let it happen because she feels she's being lazy or selfish or bad or not a feminist...

Once they both stumble to a.stop about their explanations the just kind of sit.there looking shyly at each other. It's a.bit.like when they first arrived...but both feel eminently safer in this moment.

Less like that the ground on which they stand is going to just cave in and swallow them up.

Luke offers Penelope his hand then and she places her hand in his.

He helps her up and slowly carefully leads her to their stairs then indicates that she should go up ahead of him.

They both carefully slowly deliberately climb the stairs and when they get to the top - Luke gently spins Penelope to face him.

He starts by taking her glasses off and then with infinite tenderness kisses first one cheek and then the other and her forehead and then the tip of her nose and then a brief soft kiss on her lips.

Then he walks away and sets her glasses on the nightstand and then returns to her. He take both her hands and repeats himself. He kisses one cheek, then the other, then her forehead, the tip of her nose, her lips.

Then he slowly - gently - not breaking their gaze for a moment - brings one hand to his mouth - he kisses her palm - he kisses each finger tip - then he presses a kiss to her inner wrist.

Luke then lets her first hand drop and lifts the other to his lips. He kisses the palm, each finger tip, and then her inner wrist. Never breaking their gaze. They are.both barely breathing.

She feels the impulse to step in - to be active - the way she always does - even though what is happening feels exquisitely perfect and makes her so happy.

They had just talked about this and he had assured her that he didn't mind and In fact would enjoy it if she relaxed and let him lead this time - that he wouldn't blame her if she let herself passively enjoy - but it still feels dangerous - that she'll be blamed for selfishness - a no fun wet noodle. She feels herself stiffen just a little with the indecision - maybe she should touch him or do something?

Luke notices the infinitesimal shift in her posture and guesses how Penelope is feeling.

So he says softly with a deeply serious look:

"Penny? You're ok. You can do whatever you like - whatever feels good - be active or not - I mean it - whatever feels right - even if what you want to do is just be and let me try to make you feel good..." he kisses the inside of each wrist again - her secret favourite spot "...Trust me?"

Her face as she nods is tinged with a tender terror mixed with dangerous joy.

"A wise woman once told me that I was allowed to say no or not yet - always - just like her. Penelope, I trust you to say no. I also trust you to care and listen and not judge if I say no. But maybe that also means we can both be brave enough to say 'yes' or 'please' - and trust that the other person will care and listen and not judge?"

Penelope looks like she might flee.

This is too much. Too precious. She wants what he is offering too intensely. It isn't...isn't...fair.

Luke watches the cascade of emotions cross his beloved Penelope's face. And tries one more time...

"Penny? How about this. How about I do the work this round...then you lead next...then after that we can just do a "give and take" round? Deal?"

He smiles at her with ridiculous enthusiasm. Super pleased with himself for the idea.

Especially when it clearly does the trick and Penelope breaks into a genuine smile. Then shyly says:

"Deal."

He gets all soft and serious again.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

He leans forward and kisses one cheek gently, then the other, then her forehead, then the tip of her nose, her lips, then one palm, then the other, then each of her finger tips, then one wrist, then the other.

Her eyes are closed - magnifying each touch.

He kisses each inner wrist again - letting his lips linger - she shivers - then he takes her left hand in both of his and slowly carefully kisses his way up her inner arm - stopping to place the smallest of licks on the crook of her elbow - then kisses his way to the sleeve of her loose necked t-shirt.

From there he jumps to trace the skin along the wide collar over her shirt with nibbling kisses.

When her head tips back with a sigh - he moves in closer - puts his hands on her hips and then kisses her neck - breaths her in - holding his body within a whisper of hers but not touching.

Penelope answers his movement with a whimper. He keeps kissing her neck then lets his hands run lightly up and down her sides - first over her t-shirt - then slipping his fingers under the hem and wrapping his hands more firmly around her ribs so she isn't tickled. She is warm and smooth and soft to the touch.

Lovely.

He kisses his way back down her throat, over her collar bone. He moves one hand up her neckline, easing down the material so that he can place gentle kisses on the swell of her breasts.

Her breasts drive him wild and he knows he has never spent enough time on them.- but now he will.

He has been somewhere between vaguely and intensely aware all morning that Penelope was not wearing a bra beneath her shirt. He is so close to her.

He can feel a hot heaviness pooling in his groin from the pleasure of her proximity. He thinks about pulling her neckline down so it stretches tight under her breasts - pushing them up for him - but he is too fond of this t-shirt to ruin it.

It is what she wore the first night they kissed - the night they agreed to this adventure - so instead he reaches down to the hem and helps her pull it off over her head.

Even though he thinks she looks perfectly adorable and desirable - he can tell she is not totally comfortable being half dressed - her fuzzy pants incongruous with her bared breasts and the naked slope of her shoulders - so he takes a step toward her - kisses the crest of each breast - then lowers himself to his knees in front of her - he grasps the waistband of her pants and drags them and her panties down in one slow sure movement - helping her step out of them when they've pooled around her ankles.

He takes a moment to gaze up at her.

She looks down at him - her hair falling around her face - her glasses-less eyes lending an intimacy to her look - something few see.

He reaches out then - placing two warm hands on her belly - one on either side of her navel - making her inhale sharply - but he waits until she relaxes - then slides his hands up until he is cupping a heavy gorgeous breast in each hand - his thumbs meeting between her breast - his pointer and middle finger stroking not-too-fast and not-too-light across the tips of her nipples which have peaked into blush pink nubs of sensation.

Penelope moans and shivers under his touch.

He leans forward and places a kiss and then another and then another on her belly.

Penelope places her hands on his shoulders - letting herself caress over the ridge of his shoulders and down the back of his t-shirt- not exerting any control - letting him set the pace - it is exactly what she so often craves but has so rarely gotten in her fear.

He nuzzles her now - his beard tickling her and suddenly she is laughing - and somehow the mood changes - to something lighter and sillier.

So Luke tries to make her laugh harder - slipping his arms around her in a hug - burying his face against her - and then irreverantly blowing raspberries against her bellybutton.

She squirms!

She twists away!

Then he is standing - he pulls her into his arms and kisses her lips - playful smacking at first - but then he lets his mouth start to linger on hers - lets his tongue travel along the seam of her lips - slowly slowly then a swift swish and she opens to him - her tongue meets his and they are kissing - drowning -. he wraps his arms around her and she is pressed against him - her nudity pressed against his clothed hard muscled body - she can feel his cock between them - cushioned by his clothing - but pressing up against her body - he swallows her moans with his hot seeking mouth.

He is feeling a bit wild and ready - he could so easily just push down his pants - topple her onto the bed and mount her or bend her over and take her hard and fast from behind - but he doesn't want to rush there is still so much to feel and taste and tease and love.

He wonders if maybe he should have let her have her turn to lead first - so he wasn't.so raw - but he knows this is best. He wants her to feel cherished. He wants to feel his love, respect, thankfulness for her...for this time...as deeply as possible.

He may only have one day like this and so...

Luke makes himself step back away from her.

He takes a deep breath and then another and then another - steadying his pulse like he has done hundred of times before - clearing his mind - finding a sea of calm in the maelstrom.

Penelope matches him breath for breath.

Despite her typical urge to step forward and kiss him or start undressing him - to take control - to push things faster - to not allow there to be space for too much thinking or feeling - she stays put.

She is Super-duper-califragilisticexpialidociously proud of herself for what she's doing - or rather - not doing.

It's not so much that she doesn't also love either being the one directing traffic or when she's an equal partner in events...but so so so many of her fantasies seemed to cast her in more of a passive roll - maybe because it is so rare that she - has she ever? - trusted a partner enough to let it happen.

Their breathing has steadied and he chooses then to undress. Very slowly he pulls off his shirt.

Then he pauses - standing at ease - letting her look.

Finally he hooks his thumbs in the front of his waist band and achingly smoothly deliberately lowers his pants..

His cock juts free - hard and proud between them - his thighs - then calves are bared as he bends over to push the material all the way to the floor.

He takes just one step forward as he straightens - a portrait of nude at military rest - for her.

The word that comes to her again is exquisite.

She blinks once - twice.

Then - because she cannot help it - she places her hands in the front of her thighs - splaying her fingers - then as if in slow motion - she drags first one than the other hand up her body - over the blond curls between her legs - over and around rocking and dancing - slowly so slowly - between the touch of her palms and the trace of her finger tips - she cups then lifts then strokes first one breast - then the other - twirling over her nipples - charting the path between her breasts - then back over the crown of her breasts to her collar bone to up and over her throat - his darkening eyes never leaving hers - her hands - first one that the other tangle into her hair - strands twisting around her fingers until her hair piles messily onto her head like a pinup girl. - as her arms raise above her head - her breasts lift and pitch towards her lover - she is perching now on her tiptoes - legs bent and held together in a parody of modesty - the eroticism of the pose was not planned but it is potent.

When she peeks beneath her lashes at him with such a smile - Luke strides to her - reaches up and lets his hands cover hers - tangling his fingers between hers and the blond satin softness of her hair - holding her gently but firmly in place.

He now repeats what has effortlessly become their ritual - a hot steady press of lips to her cheek - then the other - letting his mouth drag between the two kisses - not a wet touch but a whisper - then he moves up to her forehead - never completely breaking contact as though his lips are drawing her into being - then down the bridge of her nose - to a kiss on the tip - then another short journey to press a kiss in her lips

She tries to deepen the kiss but he has already slipped his lips to her pulse point - and while Penelope of another day might have fought him - now Penelope gives in ...a new path is forged - both by her response and for this private ritual of theirs for her palms and finger tips are still captured in the tangle of his fingers and her hair

Luke exerts just a bit more pressure where he is holding her - so that she bends back - lifting her breasts even higher and closer.

He drags his lips down now - not crouching but keeping his arms raised over his head and stepping back so his body can angle from the waist at the perfect angle so that his chin could - but doesn't - rest between her breasts.

He scatters first firm dry kisses across around and under each breast and then he starts to lick her skin with slow broad strokes - then with an open wet mouth he sucks and.swirls against her skin.

At first he avoids the tender flesh of her areolas - but finally he lavs the now tightly pebbled skin - circling in to pull first one nipple then the other between his lips - twirling his tongue - then over and across - finally releasing their hands so that he can kneel tall in from of her - cupping her breasts and guiding them to his mouth so that he can suckle first one then the other in earnest.

Penelope makes a whumphing sound of relief as she is able to lower her hands and tangle them in his hair - she resists pulling him closer - letting him choose how fast and tight he pleasures her.

Her breath starts to speed up and she whimpers - all is tensing - then unexpectedly...

- her shift in breath -

- the feel of his suckling -

- his arms wrapped around her -

...push her over the edge into an orgasm.

She can't help then but to clutch at him pulling him tighter onto her breast - he lets his tongue press and swirl and lick faster and faster - sucks her harder - pushing her through to the other side of the orgasm - her breath breaking into jagged cries and then...then... after a moment - a million moments - her body sags with relief and he gently slows - pulls his mouth off her now red breast.

He peers up at her then - his face wreathed in a look of adoration.

But her eyes have drifted shut - so he speaks...

"Love you."

"Love you."

Her voice is dreamy but sure.

She looks a bit lost.

Luke protectively splays his hands across her tummy and gives her a gentle nudge so that she steps back until the back of her legs touch the bed.

Her legs bend and she sits and - with the guiding pressure from his hand- lies down.

She absently realises what he intends and she gasps

Part of her wants to beg for him to not stop - to hurry up - part of her wants to explain that he doesn't have to...but she chooses again to trust him.

He moves forward on his knees until he is right in front of her - placing his hand on her knees, he eases her legs apart so he can move between.them.

Lifting one leg over his shoulder and pushing against the knee - splaying the other leg wide- opening her to him.

At first he just looks down at her wet pink folds - the bud of her clitoris - the dark secret diamond opening.

Beautiful. Slick. Intimate.

He breaths in very very deeply - hoping - wishing for the breath to calm the urge to just give in

- stand and fuck her hard and fast -

... until his vision goes black and he is lost or saved.

But his wish is not granted - because he can smell her - and it makes him need her more.

Need to plunge and buck and fuck.

So he bites the side of his cheeks hard to keep himself from letting go and ravishing her or spilling ropes of semen all over the carpet.

The pain works for the moment and he is able to go back to his set task - his set delight.

He lowers his mouth now - kissing her with sacred intimacy - working his mouth over and around her folds - teasing and gently sucking - working closer and closer to her clit.

He adds his finger tips - long strokes of sensation - then pushing first one - then a second - finger into her cunt...listening and feeling for when he touches her most sensitive spots.

Penelope is literally coming off the bed as he pleasures her - she thinks she might actually expire from arousal.

Is that a thing?

She thought was only something happened in terrible faux-gothic romance novels.

But nope. Apparently she is in imminent danger of death by love making.

His name is now her prayer - her chant - her cry - again and again she repeats it - pleading - panting - begging - cursing - calling - demanding.

Her hips lift and thrust against his mouth as her body reaches for another release - but she can't seem to get there.

She is sobbing in frustration and joy as his mouth makes magic spears of pleasure shoot through her body - but still she can't...isn't... needs...help...please...Luke. Luke. Luke.

He senses what she needs and it is not more touch. He pulls his mouth away - replacing his mouth with his fingers - and as he steadily massages in the way that he has found coils her tighter and tighter - draws her higher and higher...

When he can feel that she just need one final spur - he summons her orgasm with his words:

"Penelope you are gorgeous. Let go for me Pen. I need to feel you. I need you Pen. I've got you, Pen. You're safe, Pen... Penny... Penelope. I love you Penelope. I love you "

Penelope explodes then - cumming for him - for herself - flying apart into a field of sparkles - into energy - and connection and love.

He gentles her through...and then she is lying limp on the bed.

A condom from the nightstand is opened and rolled onto his cock.

He covers her now with his body.

He kisses a cheek - then smiles and can't resist the other cheek - then her forehead - the tip of her nose - then a whispered "Love you Penelope. Always" - then her lips - oh her lips - the kiss is deep and almost endless.

She reaches down then and guides him deep into where his cock is straining to be.

He slides into her - all is wet - and hot - and the joining is exquisite.

Luke pushes in - deep - so deep -- until his balls are craddled tight against her slick hot safe.

He lets her hold him there - there where he could stay always - teetering on the edge - between heaven and hell - love and lust - hope and despair - need and want - home and the wilderness... a terrifying sweetness.

Penelope did not think she had anything left to feel - any energy left to move or react -but when he slides home inside her - she is proven wrong.

Her body - her brain -- her heart ignite and she clenches around him - drawing him deeper and tighter - all is him - all is Luke.

Her wonderful lovable loved beloved Luke. Luke of the dark eyes and lopsided smile. Luke of the elevator. Luke of the squeaky cat and cat tree. Luke of the infuriatingly wonderful Newbieness. Luke with Roxy. Luke giving his best friend a puppy. Luke saving lives and asking stupid questions. Luke. Luke's hands on her shoulders at the courthouse - at the side of the highway. Luke. Always Luke. Forever Luke. Nothing but Luke.

Everything Luke.

Her Luke.

He - they - are moving now.

Together and together and together.

On and on and on.

Climbing and climbing and climbing.

He is the one saying her name now. Curses falling from him.

She cannot help but echo him. Curses falling from her.

"Penelope."

"Luke"

"Penelope."

"Luke"

"Penel- Oh fuck- "

"Fuck - Luke"

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck"

"Luke. Luke Luke"

"Pen. Pen. Penny... oh Penny...Pennny"

"Luuuuke. Luuuuke. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh fuck. Luke..."

"..so good. so..so...good. Pen- fuck."

"yeah ...good. oh fuck...please...please... Luke...Luke... please...ah. ah. ah. Love. oh. Luke. Now. Luke. Now!:

"Pen. Pen. Now. Oh fuck. Now. now. oh Pen. oh Love PEN oh fuck PEN PEN PEN...PEN...I...I... I... I... I love you, I love you, love. you. now. ohhhhh. Penelope! Penelope. Penelope. Pen-el-o-pe."

They were joined.

They were them.

They were cats and dogs and happiness.

They were the galaxies.

They were everything.

They were always.


To be continued...