17-year old Paige is absorbed in life, love, attitude and rebellion, but when normal teenage turmoil is turned upside down by something she can't explain, has she pushed her family too far? All 4 sisters. Paige-centric with Glen/Kyle
A/N: Thank you for your encouragement and thanks for reading still…
Disclaimer: Everything to do with Charmed Not mine!
Chapter 14: There's a fine line between Love and Hate
Through the darkness, it seems forever before I reach my oldest sister. She's lying on her front, each limb splayed out on the sandy floor.
A shiver of fear races down my spine, as I crouch down beside her. I have to pause for a second so I can process what to do. My oldest sister, always the bossy one and downright infuriating most of the time, right now she isn't , she's lying here, so, so still…Oh god, please be okay.
My adrenaline kicks in, along with some rational thought. I carefully roll her onto her back, her small frame makes it easy to do. Her raven hair is completely masking her face. I brush it back feeling the tangles with damp and soot that cake the strands together. My first thought is that she's gonna kill me for messing up her hair. I breathe in another deep breath at the sight of her pale skin, snow white, with no colour at all apart from a stream of red that pours from a huge gash below her eye. I wipe it away, but feeling the red dampness on my own skin worsens my panic. That's not my only problem: she's hardly breathing except for wheezing gasps that seem stuck in her throat. Oh my god.
"Prue?" I try, squeezing one of her limp hands, "Prue, can you hear me?" No good. "Prue." I feel my eyes starting to fill with tears. "Prue, please wake up".
Her lashes seem to flutter in response, but her lids keep a shutter on the blue eyes underneath. I'm at a loss…I don't know what to do. Piper, Phoebe and Leo orbed out, I bet they're at the Manor…home. I bet they went home and that's where we need to go. It's the only thing that I think can help us now.
"Prue" I say running my hands through her pitch black hair, whilst I manoeuvre her head to cradle it in my lap with shaking hands, "It's gonna be okay, we're going home"
And I concentrate as hard as I can to get us there, as orbs take over our bodies.
---
I'm confused, this looks like the Manor, but it's no room I've ever seen before. Piles of old junk are littered everywhere as I glance around worriedly, my attention is caught by the grand bookstand in the centre with a weird book leaning on top of it. Where Am I?
I must be in the Manor as familiar voices can be heard from behind the door.
"Leo, we should go back there! We need…" It's Piper screeching frantically, although the sound is dulled through the wall and door.
"Piper" Phoebe tries, attempting a calm tone but failing miserably.
"It's too dangerous…" Leo begins.
"Uhh" A groan from my bigsister distracts me from listening. I try to cry out for help but nothing escapes my throat.
"Prue, Prue please, please wake up. I'm sorry Prue…so, so sorry." I try so hard not to cry, all of the time…but now, with my big sister lying here like this because of me. It seems like there's nothing I can do and the sobs start to fall. I try to soothe her by talking… "Prue, I'm sorry for being a pain, I was angry at you guys…I didn't mean for it to be like this."
My sister still gasps horribly, I can hardly feel her chest rising and falling I cling to her tightly in my arms trying to ignore the red drying on her face. I grasp both my sister's hands in mine, bringing them to sit on her tummy. I shut my eyes with such force that two fat tears leak down my cheeks onto the mass of hands.
"Remember when I was nine; our class had that bring your parents to school thing? It was when Grams was sick; I was so upset that I would be the only kid without someone there for me. When you asked me why I didn't want to go to school that day, I thought you were such a bitch for making me go anyway. But you came...you were there for me, you skipped school and you talked to my class about high school and cheerleading…all the other kids thought you were so cool. I still remember what you told me afterwards: 'It doesn't matter what anybody else says about not having mommy or a daddy. I'm your big sister and I love you so, so much. Love is all that matters, Paigey' I'll remember that forever Prue, I want you to know, even if I don't say it, I love you too…"
Feint warmth rises in my chest, creating a pleasant heat that calms me. It travels down my arms, leaving a tingling sensation right behind. Peaceful calm seems to flow over me, extinguishing my panic, it seems to be pushing something poisonous away, chasing it right out of my soul.
"Paige!"
"Paige?"
"Paige…wha.." The door flies open, making me jump out of my skin my eyes opening widely. I only just manage not to orb out in fright, Leo, Piper and Phoebe burst into the room. Phoebe and Piper have anxious looks on their faces, except for Leo who's staring at me with a look of amazement on his face. I follow his gaze and see my hands basking in a warm golden light.
Whoa.
"P-Paigey…" A voice gasps through the silence, a hand reaches out to cup my grimy cheek, "Paige"
Prue sits up, no longer all pale. Not even a mark left on her pretty features. I take a great big breath of relief and feel slightly giddy from all the oxygen it provides. Such is the relief that I throw my arms around my sisters neck, burying my face into her shoulder. "Thanks Paige" What is she thanking me for? I did this, it hurts to see the gratitude in her eyes.
"Oh Prue!" Piper wails, seeing our sister slowly get back on her feet. She almost runs at her tackling her into a hug that nearly floors them both. Do we not remember that she was barely conscious a second ago? Phoebe beams at the touching scene and when Piper finally lets Prue go, she steps over me to take her turn. I sit separate from their little get together, what else is new?
"How'd you get here Prue?" Phoebe asks her eyebrows raised with curiosity.
I'm surprised when Prue turns towards me with a smile on her face. "Paige brought me" She looks at me with fondness in her eyes and I stare back, rendered speechless by this show of affection from my big sister.
"Yay, Little Sis" Phoebe coos as if I'm five as I smile weakly back at her.
"Oh Paigey" Piper exclaims, this time grasping me in a warm embrace. "You're you again" My hair is back to its regular length and I'm sat in the white cloth overalls the hospital. I let the warmth wash over me and relax into my sister's arms, but Piper is right. I am me. I'm still Paige. I almost got my sisters killed. I sit numbly in Piper's embrace as my skin crawls with shame. I don't deserve this. At the same time I'm still so angry and hurt, they abandoned me…but that's nothing compared to what I did. I can't sit here anymore, all warm and comforted in my sisters arms.
I'm a screw up. I was a demon for Gods sake, I was evil, I AM evil. I don't deserve this.
The shame eats at my insides. Guilt surging at every heartbeat through my whole body.
"I'm sorry" I say flatly, orbing out of Piper's arms and up into my room.
---
"Paige?" A quiet voice accompanies the rapping at my bedroom door. I plan to ignore it, but its unfamiliarity makes me curious.
Leo. He lingers in the doorway fidgeting nervously. It's kind of annoying, I hardly know the guy. I'm not sure why he wants to talk to me. "Can I come in?"
"Sure" I say passively, lucky for him that my bitchiness is all spent.
He sits himself on the corner of my bed near my feet , I curl them up towards me defensively "What's the matter." He asks gently.
There's something about him that makes you want to pour out your heart. Maybe it's the blank smile that sits non-judgementally on his face. But his green gaze burning into your back makes you want to spill your soul even more effectively than the interrogating 'Sister eyes' which are the bane of a youngest sisters life.
My wet eyes are revealing more emotion than I feel comfortable with even before I speak, but the remorse that is raging constantly inside of me is finding a place to escape, its still there burning beneath all the anger. I don't know how I feel and frustrated confusion is pouring down my cheeks. I can't look into those serene eyes anymore…he speaks anyway.
"Don't feel guilty Paige" Whoa. I hate being so transparent. I wipe my tears away quickly and try to reconstruct the wall around my heart. Shit. Now, on top of everything else, it seems Paige's feelings are exposed for the entire world to see.
"You are not evil, you're part Whitelighter, that makes you inherently good, you…"
How dare he try to tell me what I am! he doesn't even know me "Look Leo, did you not see what I just did, I was a demon, I almost got my sisters killed" I yell "…and you know what, I wanted it too, I wanted revenge…you see what I am, I'm not worth knowing, I'm a crappy person…So, I might not be evil but I'm bad news, for everyone who has ever known me…" I trail off the effort of keeping my emotions in check becomes too intense as I think of Mom, Glen, Grams and my sisters, all the people who are better off without me.
After all I've just thrown at him; he still sits calmly at my side. "I don't believe you Paige" He says in a soft voice, "You saved your sister, Paige. You healed her, your emotions kick-started your Whitelighter powers. It was love, Paige, your love healed Prue and I for one doubt that anybody capable of feeling love is evil." I've lost the power to stem the tears and they trickle silently down my cheeks.
"He's right!" Piper marches purposely into my room. I look up and see all three of my sisters in the doorway. It seems that they've all been listening, now I feel truly spied on. Laying a hand on Leo's shoulder, he smiles up at her. In any normal situation that would be sickeningly cute, instead of inspiring a sarcastic comment I barely register the gesture. Piper places herself on my bed, tucking a strand of matted hair behind my ear. "Back down there, you know I used my power to freeze you." She pauses. A smile playing at her lips, "It didn't work Paige"
"What?"
"Her power doesn't work on other witches" Phoebe says, shoving Piper almost on top of me in her effort to join us on the bed. "You weren't evil, sweetie or you would have frozen too"
"But…" I say, looking away from my sisters, remembering the rage, the desire, the hate…
"Paige, we knew. We knew that whatever happened, our baby sister was still in there somewhere" Prue says seriously still leaning on the doorframe. It's getting crowded now, on my bed as Phoebe gets nudged in the tangle of limbs and yelps Prue watches the pile of sisters on the bed with amusement. I let Phoebe wrap her arms around me as Piper hugs me from the other side, accepting it but not comfortable enough to cope with this foreign action.
It's supposed to be all right now.
"Nleed Swum ahair" I splutter and wriggle out of their arms, feeling guilty at their disappointed looks. I'm sorry, but it's not gonna all be perfect right away, after everything. There's so muchI don't understand, since when did magic stuff become acceptable? How do they have powers? The answers and possibilities are making my head throb. Thankfully, Prue seems to see this, "She needs to rest" At her look Piper and Phoebe reluctantly follow her to the door. Despite everything I still feel burned, cheated, givenno explanation…It's happening, it's just going to go back to the way it was. Doing what we do best in this family, ignoring the real problems…oh sweet denial… it's possibly the worst Halliwell trait.
We're smoothing over the cracks.
Again.
So, Paige is back with her sisters, but is all well? And we haven't forgotten about her little demon friend ;) Please Review!
