Authors note: Mild spoilers for 13x10 Submerged. Implied sex only.
It's mid-December now and Luke finds himself in Ramona, California. The team is tracking down an unsub who is drowning people their backyard pools and stealing ridiculous things like silver dollars, bowling trophies (!), and costume jewelry.
The town has also been reeling from drought - which has led economic instability in the area and - more gruesomely - the falling water levels have also caused the remains of accident victims to rise to the surface of the man-made lake - overall not a very holiday-esque atmosphere - which frankly matches Luke's mood to a tee.
The plan had been for Penelope and Luke to meet the Tuesday evening after their trip - but instead the team had been called out on the Roswell Truther case.
Luke remembers that he'd been disappointed and frustrated by having to reschedule and also somewhat exhausted from his long weekend adventures - but he'd focused on the task at hand throughout the investigation. Sure, he'd had to parry a few questions from Matt on the drive into the dessert about the Banff trip - but mostly the team had left him alone.
He remembers now how absolutely beat he had felt on the flight back from Roswell. He had been stressed too because while part of him - an admittedly giant part - had wanted to head straight to the Penelope's apartment and argue with her until she agreed to be his forever - another part of him knew that he should probably wait until they could talk without being exhausted and that Roxy was probably wondering if he'd died...so after a few texts back and forth they had decided to postpone their dinner plans until their next official day off.
But even with Thanksgiving - that had yet to happen due to their crazy case load and suddenly it was mid-December and they still hadn't been able to carve out time to have The Big Discussion. Plus - either wisely or foolishly - they had agreed to keep out of each other's beds and lives until they had a better idea of what was next for them. They didn't want things to get even more complicated than they already were.
Although, Luke muses as he stands in the wind by the lake trying to focus on the case, could it possible for things to be worse?
He currently felt that the limbo they were in might literally be killing him.
He hadn't communicated much with Penelope during the Roswell case - which had set the tone for all the ones that followed - so while it has been fairly easy to keep things professional and not let anything slip about their excruciatingly nebulous relationship status...they rarely connected professionally these days and worse the tension has also inadvertantly led their "at-work-bickering" to ramp up again.
Luke has also found himself spending his time at pre-flight and even the in-flight briefings pouring over the case files - resolutely keeping his eyes off Penelope - since looking at her makes the ache of missing her more acute; plus he suspects the team has noticed that he has trouble dragging his eyes away from her if he does let himself look.
The biggest problem is everytime he hears her work her magic for a case - he can't help but feel a guilty twinge of despair.
The team can't lose her, can it?
He has seriously been considering requesting a transfer to another team - but the thought always makes him circle back to how much he loves this job and being part of the BAU family...but how can they be together and both be on the team - honnestly?
It seems impossible, but not being with her also seems impossible.
On top of everything he is worried about her - because despite her constant good humour - she is looking strained. He wonders if anyone else has clocked that she has not worn red since their trip...infact when they left on this last case she was wearing a gray dress with matching gray hair ornements - GREY is almost BEIGE!
Why is no one else worried about her? Are they blind? How is he supposed to bring it up?
No wonder his nightmares have gotten worse again.
Penelope is quietly losing her mind too - but she figures she's doing ok all things considered and is happy when she can keep busy - afterall isn't she the Princess of Positivity? The Oracle of Optimism? The Glass-half-full-Gal?
For instance, rather than focusing on the frustration of her and Luke's current limbo - shouldn't she be thankful that since their trip there haven't been any overly dangerous cases or situations where she had to choose between saving Luke or another agent???
Secretly though she misses Luke terribly - certainly way more than expected - and it is so disapointing that that things between them seem more awkward and difficult than ever - like today when she got all snippy about his "Bowling Trophy" comment.
What makes her saddest is that even when they are in the same room - it seems like they are a million miles apart.
What worries her the most is that she can see the size of the dark circles growing under Luke's eyes as the days pass - she wonders if he is having more nightmares - and guiltily wonders if it's her fault.
Maybe she should have stuck to her guns and never gone back to his place the night of giving Phil his puppy...
The case is finally wrapped and a 12 year boy was saved. Matt is looking a bit sore and worse for wear - but also happy to have been in time to pull the boy out of the lake.
Emily, Luke, and Matt are just about to climb into their SUV so they can head back to the airstrip when what feels like a miracle happens - the heavens open up and it begins to rain!
It is one of those rains that soaks you to the skin in an instant. As Luke feels his shirt plaster against his back - he raises his arms in jubilation.
He cannot help but be transported back to that shower on the first day of the Banff trip...and all of a sudden he knows what he wants - what is important - what has to happen.
He gets into the SUV and makes Matt and Emily join him in a wet-haired selfie - which he quickly texts to Penelope with the caption:
The drought is over! We're coming home!
He's driving so he doesn't check his phone when he hears the notification he's set for her texts as they are pulling out, nor again when it chimes again a good few minutes later. He isn't sure what he'll find - so he doesn't check his texts until they've boarded the jet and he's staked out a corner for himself - giving all appearances that he's planning to try and catch some sleep.
When he finally checks his phone - he feels his mood lift and his face relax into a private smile:
Hallelujah! Can't wait to see you!
Then even better is the second text which was clearly sent as an afterthought - or at least a reply she debated sending ...probably the latter - he can see her in his mind's eye - typing then deleting until she finally settled on:
MOUNTAIN EMOTICON
It's perfect.
For the first time in weeks he feels optimistic.
There has got to be a way for this to work out.
Just then Emily slips into the seat in front of him.
"Good news?"
"Huh?"
"Good news? You're smiling at your phone, Agent." smirks Emily.
"Um yeah. Yeah - I think so."
"Anything you want to share?"
"No. No. Not yet."
"OK then. I'll leave you be...change into something dry."
"Will do, Boss."
Emily starts to head back to Rossi, Tara, and J.J. who are just starting a game of poker. Matt was changing and had told them that he was just going to listen to some music and try and sleep.
"...uh Emily?"
"Yeah?"
"Um. Nothing. Just..uh...have a good night."
Emily quirks a dark eyebrow at him and pauses in case he wants to actually say what's on his mind...it hasn't escaped her notice that he's been looking more drawn than usual...nor that Penelope has seemed just a little dimmer since their weekend away...but he just shakes his head and gives her a bit of a smile - so she lets it lie wondering if either of them will even confide in her.
She's not sure their moods are connected - but it does seem like a bit of a coincidence that they both have been so preoccupied since they got back.
"O.k. Get some rest, Luke. We'll be home soon. Let me know if you want to talk."
"Of course. I'm just going to change and see if I can sleep a bit. Uh...Thanks Emily."
"Of course."
She gives him one more searching look then heads over to be dealt into the card game.
Luke answers Penelope with a quick text:
Can't wait to see the team? Or moi?
...then heads to the back of the plane to change his shirt.
As soon as the in-flight bathroom door snicks shut behind him...the four poker players lean together and speak in hushed rushed tones...JJ is the first to speak:
"Emily, did he say anything?"
"No. Nothing. He had a flash of looking happier and more relaxed than I have seen him in awhile - I think because of something he saw on his phone - and he definately made us take a selfie in the car because we "had to share the moment with Garcia" - so it could have been a response from her. And...I think he almost asked me something semi-serious - but decided against it. I just wish I knew what was wrong - he's been so tense and exhausted looking. Has he spoken to any of you? Tara?"
"Nothing. I asked about the trip after the Roswell case...but he said it was fun and friendly - just the stuff they told us when they handed out the souvenirs...and then changed the subject. Has PG said anything to any of you?"
"Nothing." puts in J.J. "Although she never shares that much about herself - it's mostly other people's gossip she has trouble keeping bottled up... but...I'm still worried. She was in head to toe GREY when we left. I know here wardrobe has always had hints of black and grey - but all grey? Not a single pop of colour?"
"It's not like the FBI would see anything wrong with her toning down her wardrobe."
"Emily! This is Penelope we are talking about!"
"I know. And trust me you are not the only one worried. All I'm saying is that - both have been doing their jobs well...better than well in fact. I certainly have nothing to complain about as Unit Chief...they just seem a bit..."
"Tense? Tired? Civil?" said Rossi - then indicated that Luke was returning to the main space by leaning back and motioning with a tilt of his head - following up with a loud casual hearty "Raise you ten, Emily - do you have it?"
Luke stops by the game for a minute to watch - but when they offer to deal him into the next hand he declines and says he should try and get some sleep.
He checks his phone as he sits and sees that she's replied:
Toi. Now rest - I think we might be in for a long night???? Have a good flight - so glad you'll be home soon.
Grinning, he taps in a response:
Tonight can't be any longer than the ones I've had lately. I am really happy to be finally coming home - your place or mine? Gonna try and sleep now.
She replies with a quick:
Yours. HEART EMOTICON
For now... it was enough to let him try to drop off to sleep...hopefully a dreamless one this time.
The poker game has wound up and J.J. casually does a lap up and down the aisle then - as she returns to Rossi, Tara, and Emily - reopens the conversation - sotto voice:
"Dead to the world. So where were we...has anyone found out anything about the trip? I casually brought it up with Derek a few weeks ago and Garcia hadn't even told him that Luke and she had gone away together."
"Oh ho! I bet he was right happy about that!"
"Nope. But he did admit that he and Pen hadn't been in touch for a bit since he'd been busy with work and family stuff."
Rossi adopts his usual amused-know-it-all tone in reply and pours himself a second drink, "Maybe nothing happened? Or at least nothing that is our business?"
Tara clinks glasses with him but disagrees "I don't know if what happened is our business - but if our friends hurting might be."
Emily sighs "I just am not sure if there's anything we can do. I mean I always got the sense that she found him attractive but had no idea what to do with it... and she never has been super comfortable with the idea of any longterm relationship... although I am hardly the right woman to comment on that...as for him..."
Tara cuts in "I'm not sure compatibility or willingness would be the problem for them...well if they ever got the guts to admit what they've been dancing around since they met... I think if there is anything - it's that they both care a lot about their jobs and this team. I'm not sure I would find it possible to be in a relationship with someone on the team - so I understand why they might be leary. It would be pretty intense -- especially if they felt they had to hide it."
J.J. came to attention. "Do you think that they are dating but hiding it?"
This being in Rossi's wheelhouse he speaks up. "No. If they were, they might be just as tired and distracted - but at least one of them - probably both -- would be noticeably happier. My bet is that they realised there could be something between them - but decided against going down that road - probably because of what Tara said."
Emily sighs "It's times like these when I miss Hotch. I really don't know what would happen if they got together - policy really isn't as clear as it could be - and well - we tend to rogues so there could be some negotiated wiggle room - but I'm with Tara - it could be pretty intense - and I don't even want to think about what it would be like if things didn't work out."
J.J. takes her turn to sigh "Alright - I guess all we can do is wait - and be ready to be there if they need us. But I swear if Garcia moves on from all grey and starts wearing beige - I'm staging an intervention."
Luke wasn't as asleep as he appeared.
He had been too geared up about what might happen tonight - so he'd just closed his eyes and tried to rest by evening out his breathing - but apparently it was enough to fool his colleagues - so he'd heard their not-so-whispered conversation.
He always knew his colleagues were the best -- and while past him might have been angry at their gossip and implied meddling -- current him was reassured. It sounded like he and Pen - more importantly Penelope - would be supported no matter what happened.
And maybe there was enough hope in what Prentiss had said that they could be together and both stay with team...or at least consider the option.
And J.J. had noticed the grey...
Luke suddenly felt more hopeful than he had in weeks - it was like a million pounds was lifted off his back - and his body and brain just let go of everything that had been holding him awake.
He slept soundlessly - dreamlessly - for the rest of the flight.
Penelope met them all at the elevator - with hugs for everyone - and as surprise for "hero of the day" Matt - Kristy wearing a visitor pass. Matt's wife also had hugs for everyone - but especially Matt - as she explained how Penelope helped arrange the surprise.
It was pretty late, so the team fairly quickly went their seperate ways. Luke rode the elevator down with Matt, Kristy and Penelope - who had to sign out "her" visitor before they all went down to the parking garage.
Once the visitor badge was handed in - Luke and Penelope walked the couple to their car and waved goodbye to their tired but happy friends.
As soon as the car had turned the corner to the exit - Luke turned to Penelope:
"You ok taking my truck and leaving Ester her over night? Do you need to swing by home for Sergio?"
"Your truck is.perfect and Sergio is all set - I swung by home on my way to pick up Kristy."
"Of course you did. You're amazing."
"And you're are extremely observant, Sir. Do we need to pick up Roxy?"
"Nope, my sitter dropped her off an hour or so ago - so she should be waiting for us. Shall we pick up some food on the way?"
"Perfect."
They climb into the car - Luke opens the door for Penelope and then circles around to the drivers side. They pull out in silence but when they hit the city streets Luke can't stand it any more,
"So..ah..how was today?"
"Good - it is always nice to see Kristy - I can't believe that woman is a mother of four tiny humans - talk about real amazingness! The only thing I can really say I accomplished today is that I got my reports done before I left."
"...And made sure that Matt's wife was here to meet him and that someone reliable and awesome was watching their kids...and took care of Sergio...and I am sure took care of 8 million other details on the cases we're consulting on...and found time to text me and make me feel like life isn't totally hopeless. Penelope - don't under rate yourself."
"My texts did that?"
"Yes Pen. Your texts did that."
"Oh."
They lapse into silence - although he is feeling distinctly irritable and can practically hear the gears turning in her brain and he is hyper-aware of her hands fidgeting in her lap.
Luke makes a snap decision and decides to drive straight to his place...they need to talk more than they need food.
As he pulls into the drive - Penelope starts.
"Oh we forgot to get-" but Luke cuts her off "I didn't forget - we'll order something ok? Just come in. We clearly need to talk - and I want to be able to not split my focus between you and the road. Common let's go say hello to Roxy."
Penelope had been worrying her lower lip at his grumpiness but at the mention of Roxy she brightens. Luke grabs their bags out of the back then leads the way into his house.
Roxy is there as promised and her doggy happiness is apparently the perfect balm to both their moods. They both crouch down and give her all the pets and doggy ear scratches.
Roxy is in tail wagging ecstasy - especially when the two humans notably relax and finally grin at each other. Eventually - but only after adequate patting - Roxy disengages and paws at the front door hopefully - making the humans laugh.
"Well - that's another country heard from. Chica, do you want to stay here and order something while I take Rox for a quick walk or do you want to come with?"
"Come with. Always."
As she speaks, Penelope's eyes shine - giving Luke hope that she isn't just referring to the walk - but the bigger conversation that was on their agenda.
As they head out into the cold December night, they hold hands.
For the first time in almost a month.
By the time they've done their quick tour of the neighborhood, Luke and Penelope have slipped back into the comfortable banter they'd had during the Banff trip. Giant snowflakes coat their hair and cling to their eyelashes. Roxy is soaked from rolling in the snow as they passed through the little off-leash park.
They laugh as Roxy shakes herself off in the vestibule and then head into the warmth of the apartment.
"Pizza? Thai? Indian?"
"Thai?"
"Perfect. I'll call them. You get cozy on the couch. Should I grab the coloured pens and see if I have any empty cereal boxes we can use for pros and cons charts?"
"No. I think we can just talk? Or at least I can. I know what I want. Unless you're not sure? Then by all means - I am totally always up for a chart."
Penelope is back to not making eye contact. She is tense and unsure of something.
Luke's breath stops.
He swallows hard.
Maybe he misread her earlier?
Food forgotten - Luke sits down at the other end of the couch.
Then in low voice answers her questions:
"No. I know what I want. I can just talk."
"Who should go first?"
He can't believe how small Penelope's voice is. Her hands are a knot in her lap. Her head bowed so she doesn't have to look at him.
He needs her to smile. So he forces himself to adoptna teasing tone.
"You don't like easy questions, do you Chica?"
He gets a flash of a smile as she recognizes her own words from before...but her voice is still small when she retorts with what was his line:
"Never."
But then it's like something clicks in her and she's made her decision.
She looks at him then - just for a second - there is a defiance in her face - but then her chin drops again and the words tumble out of her:
"I want to be with you - if you'll have me - any way you'll have me in your life friend or..." his breath catches "... although I would prefer us to try being in a long-term committed romantic relationship - in fact I would skip the dating part and just move in together - that's how crazy sure I feel..." Luke wants to sing - grab her - kiss her - dance "...but I also think that means that I should leave the team - maybe not right away but as soon as a suitable and excellent replacement can be found."
"Pen-"
"...But I understand if you've...you've come to your senses in the last month-"
"Penny. Stop."
" and have realised that I am not all that and a bottle of pop-"
"Penelope! Stop!"
She finally looks up. Not because of his words - but because of his tone.
Luke sounds furious.
"Stop. Under. Rating. Yourself. It makes me very..." he looks for the right word and settles on a simple one "..angry. No one is allowed to talk about the woman I love that way. Not even you!"
"Oh."
"Yes. Oh."
"Luke?"
"Yes?"
"I love you too."
"Promise me something? No more head to toe GREY - you worried me and J.J.!"
"J.J???"
"I think I had better tell you about the conversation I overheard on the jet. Then we can talk about how we are going to make this happen and if tomorrow is too soon for us to move in together...but before all that I am ravenous so we should order food and then I really really would like to kiss you until the delivery person interrupts us. Deal?"
"Start dialing Mister! These lips won't kiss themselves you know!"
And with that Luke decides that dialing can wait...
It's just after midnight.
Luke and Penelope are sitting on his bed - wearing considerably less clothing than they were earlier in the evening - inhaling the vegetarian pizza they finally ordered.
They are wearing their rings - on their right hands for now - and Luke - between bites - is telling Penelope about what he overheard.
"...so..." he swallows "... it sounds like it's kind of up to us to figure out if we have concerns about being together and being on the team - which makes it a bit easier - although - " he takes another bite and chews and swallows before finishing his thoughts " - I had come to the decision that if being with you meant I had to request a transfer - I would do it - before I heard Emily I mean..."
One more giant bite disappears. Luke can't help it - he's starving and the pizza tastes better than anything he's eaten since they got back from the trip.
"Me too..."
Penelope leans forward and fondly wipes some sauce off the corner of Luke's mouth and then kisses him quickly for good measure.
"...and I agree about it being good that we can decide. I mean I am still not sure about staying on the team and being to-"
Penelope's thought is interrupted by the ringer she's set for Emily. She answers - assures Emily that she wasn't woken up - and listens to her boss.
"Yeah - ok Em - I'll let everyone know to be in for a 7 am briefing - yep just got the email you sent - I'll prep the presentation and file packages and start the arrangements - yeah - you too. See you soon - get some sleep boss lady. TTFN"
Luke raises an eyebrow "TTFN?"
Penelope looks at her brand-new-boyfriend-partner-type-person and forces a bittersweet smile:
"Ta Ta For Now. Well...as you heard I guess we're about to find out what it's like to be together and on a case at the same time - unless the cold reality of our schedules makes you want to reconsider?"
"Not a chance."
"Me neither. Well, that had to be the shortest honeymoon period ever. Ok - you should sleep now - I'll send out the heads up texts and have a quick look at the package Em sent shouldn't take me long- then do you mind if I sleep here for a couple hours until say 4:30 and then I'll catch a Lyft into the office to finish my prep?"
"Or how about you do what you need to do now then come to bed and I'll drive you in and help you prep for the briefing, Ms Garcia?
"Really? We could probably leave here as late as 5:45 then! Are you sure? That means extra sleep for me - but less for you..."
Penelope is furiously typing as she speaks - she has a program that lets her type one text and send a copy to everyone with one keystroke. If anyone doesn't respond by the time she's up - she'll have to call them - but for now she'll let them sleep.
"Well let's put it this way..." Luke says leaning in for a quick kiss and then gathering up the detritus from their meal before heading off to get ready for bed "...I really wasn't planning on sleeping that much tonight anyways... be back in a few minutes... be ready to tell me if there is anything I can do to help, ok? BBSL"
"BBSL?"
Luke laughingly calls the answer over his shoulder as he heads down the hall to brush his teeth:
"Be Back Soon Lover!"
"Very cu- Oh!! Luke?!?!"
"What? What's wrong?"
Luke bounds back into the room - he sees that Penelope's eyes are wide and she's gone white as a sheet.
She stares at him as she the hands her phone over for him to read the file.
"The case...the victims have all been found buried by avalanches."
Author's Note:
I've decided to end this story here - however if you are keen to read more - have no fear this will only Part 1 of my re-imagining of Luke and Penelope's journey.
Part 2 (which is already partly written) will be published in the next week or so if all goes to plan as a stand-alone titled "Depth Hoar (S13 E10.5)." and will tell the story of the avalanche case and will be structured like a single case/episode of our beloved Criminal Minds.
Then Part 3 will take us from the end of the case to the end of the series and possibly beyond. (I think!?!)
On a personal note - it's been a really hard month and writing this has helped get me through...especially when I hear that people are enjoying my little project.
So thank you so much for reading - I hope you found something to enjoy. I really really do appreciate your comments and feedback.
Hope you are well and are taking good kind care of yourself and those around you.
Best Always,
Bacchic
