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Chapter 10
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Anna looked at her daughter with a mixture of surprise and amusement. "He seems quite at home here." She closed the front door and watched her daughter blush and squirm as the shower came on in the guest bathroom.
"I was just about to make pancakes. Did you have breakfast yet?" Robin turned and rushed back into the kitchen. Anna trailed after her and poured herself a cup of coffee as she waited her daughter out.
Robin busied herself in the kitchen, hoping that her embarrassment wouldn't show. "He was just trying to keep Simon from bugging me."
"I see. So you were just playing along while you were ogling him?" Anna nodded and sat down at the kitchen table.
"I was most certainly not ogling him! I don't ogle." Robin spit the last word out as if it was blasphemous.
"Luv, who are you trying to convince?"
Sighing heavily, Robin sat down in a chair, putting her elbows on the table as she put her face in her hands. "Myself I guess." She groaned out the mortification she'd been battling with since she woke up this morning.
Anna pulled Robin's hands away from her. "It's okay to admit you like him and find him attractive. He is incredibly attractive."
"He knows how attractive he is." Robin rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure like is the right word. It's just doctor/patient stuff. You know, he saved my life so it's natural to feel something toward him. And for him to delay disengaging from my care all of a sudden." Which didn't explain the sleeping together or the almost kiss, but she was going to put all that in a box to think about later. Or never.
"I'm not buying it, darling. There is a definite attraction between you two. There's nothing wrong with that."
"He's a jerk." Okay, so she didn't really think that anymore. Most of the time.
"He cares about you."
"I'd just be another conquest."
"Thanks to Simon and that Jason, not to mention your father lately, you think all men are untrustworthy and while I don't entirely disagree with you, I don't think you should write Patrick off so quickly. And what would be so wrong with having a little fun with a gorgeous man?"
"It's never just fun for me. I don't work that way." Robin stood up and began to mix the pancake batter.
"I know you've been hurt you deeply, but closing off your heart isn't the solution. Maybe Patrick won't work out long term, but isn't not trying worse?"
"I promised myself I wasn't going to do that anymore. But I'm scared I'm going to make a fool of myself." Robin tested the heat of the griddle with a spoonful of water. When it sizzled she began to drop batter onto the surface.
"That's how you know it matters. Just take it slow. Try to tear down some of those walls that you've built up to protect yourself. It's easy to see that Patrick has some walls of his own; he's a lot deeper than his womanizing ways would make you think. I saw him with his father, I saw him watch and worry over you, Luv."
Robin thought back to the night before. The fear and vulnerability she had seen in Patrick's eyes until he caught himself and went back to his raucous humor to mask it. "Maybe you're right. I think it's too soon for me to be making any life-altering decisions anyway. I need to concentrate on making breakfast first." She went to the refrigerator and took out a carton of orange juice and made a mental note to thank Felicia for stocking her kitchen before she got home from the hospital.
Robin was putting the first of the hot pancakes down on the table when Patrick came walking in, dressed this time in well-worn jeans and a black t-shirt. He sat down and picked up a plate from the table and held it out expectantly at Robin. She laughed and served him, shaking her head at the little boy look on his face and then sat down in the chair in between Anna and Patrick at the small square table.
Anna watched the interaction between the two young doctors. She saw shades of her relationship with another doctor she'd been involved with. But now was not the time to think about David and whether she should visit Pine Valley. "So what are you two up to today?"
Patrick looked at Robin. "I'm going to get the pre-surgery blood work done. And I think Robin here has someone she needs to go see. Although it needs to be a short visit as she still needs her rest."
Robin looked at him quizzically. "Who do I need to see?" She had been planning to spend the day with her mother.
"Your father."
She shook her head. "No way. I saw him yesterday. Why do I need to see him again today?" She scowled into her plate like an adolescent.
Patrick leaned closer to her, looking her dead in the eye, not letting her gaze leave his. "Look, I'm giving my father part of my liver. I think the least you can do is talk to yours."
Robin sighed. How in the world could she argue when he put it that way? Her mom! Anna would agree that she didn't need to talk to Robert.
She looked at her mother who was nodding her agreement. "I think he's right Luv. It only hurts you to stay so angry at him."
Robin crossed her arms over her chest, no longer paying attention to the pancakes on the griddle. "So you're over being mad at him then?"
"I didn't say that, but we have come to an understanding." Anna smiled.
"It's okay for you to be mad at him but not me?" Tears were threatening to spill down her cheeks. She angrily swiped them away. She hated feeling so weak, she couldn't wait until she was back to one hundred percent health.
Anna put her arm around Robin's shoulders. "He's not my father. You missed out on so many years with him. Years you can't recover. Do you want to waste more time?"
Robin looked into Anna's eyes and realized that she was right. She desperately loved her father and wanted him in her life. She couldn't let pride stand in the way. She looked at Patrick and noticed that for once, he didn't have the 'I'm always right' smirk on his face. He was simply watching her.
"No 'I told you so'?"
Patrick shook his head. "Even I know when something's important. No joking matter this one."
"I'm starving. Now that I know my plans for the day, let's eat." She smiled gratefully.
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Robin gritted her teeth when she saw that her father was talking to Simon near the nurse's station. She had really hoped not to have to deal with him again today, ever really.
"Robin, what are you doing here? You should be resting." Simon's eyes narrowed.
"I'm here to see my father. I didn't realize I needed your permission. My doctor said a short time out would be fine."
"I assume you mean Drake." Simon's face flushed as he spit out Patrick's name like it was a particularly nasty disease.
Robin smiled as she saw his anger. "Yes, Doctor Drake. After observing me last night and this morning, he thinks I'm up for some activity." Robin mentally rolled her eyes, now she was being downright juvenile like Patrick. It kind of felt good, actually. Especially with Simon the Deserter.
Robert raised his eyebrows at the implications of Robin's statements. "Did you come to see me?" He didn't disguise the hopefulness in his voice.
"Can we go somewhere private? My office?" Robin asked.
Robert nodded and followed his daughter after giving a warning look to Simon.
Robin started to sit behind her desk but thought better of it and instead sat next to Robert on the couch.
"Are you feeling all right? I didn't expect you to be out and about so soon," Robert said, drinking in the sight of his daughter looking so healthy, albeit tired.
"Mom dropped me off. I'm fine. There's some things I need to say to you, Dad."
At the use of the appellation Robert's eyes softened.
"The one thing I thought I learned when I was diagnosed with HIV and that I was graphically reminded of recently is that we never know how much time we have. Could be years, could be minutes and I don't want to spend the time I have left angry with my father. It's not worth it."
"Are you saying you forgive me?"
She nodded. "I think what you did was wrong and I will never agree with it, but maybe I can understand it and I definitely have to live with it. At least I know now that you're alive. We missed too many years together, I don't want to miss any more."
"I do love you, Robin. Always know that. Since the moment I met you."
"I love you too, Dad."
"Can I ask you something?" Robert cleared his throat.
"Sure." Robin looked at him quizzically. She'd never seen her super spy father so uncomfortable before.
"Are you planning to divorce Simon?"
Robin nodded emphatically. "Yes. As soon as I possibly can. It wasn't so easy in France, but now that I live here I just need to hire a lawyer." She waved, dismissing the legal details.
"I understand. I want you to know he was the one who suggested you work with him on that drug and I was more than happy to have him watching over you. He was never supposed to become involved with you personally." Robert's voice was hard and angry, then he attempted to look conciliatory. "For what it's worth, I think he does genuinely love you."
"Sometimes love isn't enough," Robin said quietly.
A silence filled the room. Robert was the first to break it.
"And Noah's son?"
"What about him?" Robin felt her face flush.
"Simon tells me that Patrick was making himself quite at home at your place."
"It really wasn't like Simon thinks, that was mainly for his benefit." The almost kiss flashed before Robin's eyes even as she said the words. "Would it bother you?" It sure as heck was bothering her, but in a different way.
Robert held his hands up. "Far be it from me to interfere with your love life. Although, if he hurts you I have ways to make people disappear. I always want to protect you Robin, even if you hate my methods."
"I'm adjusting to your methods." Robin bit her lip and looked at her father who then opened his arms. She said nothing but moved closer to him, finally letting herself melt into his embrace. She had dreamed of getting a comforting hug from her father many times over the years since she was told of his 'death'. She closed her eyes and let herself take his comfort.
His pager sounded, causing Robin to jump, putting distance between them. He smiled. "Duty calls."
She nodded and watched him walk out of her office. Leaning back against the couch she sighed with relief. That went as well as can be expected, she thought. She considered lying down on her couch for a nap but decided she'd rather be home for that. As she walked out of her office, she realized she was hoping for company at home, not the empty house that she had gotten herself used to. She refused, however, to admit that there was one person in particular she wanted to fill that space.
