Well, it's that time of the year again, you guys! That time when everything feels warm and fuzzy, so, I'm back with some holiday oneshots just in case you need some help getting into that spirit!
Summery: Thanksgiving is here, but Rose is so busy falling apart over the fact that Dimitri and Christian have been gone for almost a year that she forgets. Can Lissa convince her to come to dinner? And if so, will she realize that she has a lot to be thankful for? Read to find out!
I don't own VA! Also, the song used in this chapter is 'Christmases when you were mine' by Tailor Swift. I really like it; you can listen while you read if you want.
Holiday warmth and Thanksgiving Wishes.
I was the biggest idiot known to man. I had to be. Why else would I decide to take a walk by myself, and at this time of year, too? They were everywhere, at designated areas the court used as parks, Sitting on benches, gazing into fountains, staring into windows of shops. Everywhere I looked there were people in love, and all over was decorated with holiday decorations like Christmas lights and mistletoe. Everything seemed glittery and golden in the dusky predawn light.
It made me sick. It made me want to punch people. It made me want to sink to the floor and scream my heart out. It made me want to sink to the floor and die, maybe then the ache settled in my chest would dull. It made me want to do all of those things and so much more, because I had been there before.
I knew what it felt like to be so in love that I didn't need words for him to know how I was feeling. All he had to do was look into my eyes and everything else would melt away. When we touched, even if it was just a simple brush of hands electricity sizzled across our skin. That was only scratching the surface and putting it lightly.
Not that any of that mattered now, because he was not here. He had accompanied his charge, Christian Ozera, a good friend and the fiancé of my best friend and the queen of our race Lissa Dragomir, to an out of court location months ago. Hell, it was nearly a year ago now that I thought about it.
Lissa had done everything in her power to get Dimitri to stay with me. She would have sent any other guardian, hell a squad of the best guardians with Christian, but that was the thing. Dimitri was the best. So was I, but there was no one I trusted more than myself to keep Lissa safe, even if she did have the entire royal guard at her disposal. We all knew it, and that was, in fact, the only reason I hadn't abandoned ship and gone along. Besides, there was someone else I needed to keep safe, too.
Lissa had been in the early stages of her pregnancy when Christian had left and because she was stubborn, she refused to tell Christian until later. Something about how she didn't want to make him stay only because of the baby, something we all knew he would have done if he'd only known.
"Can't you see, Rose? He's driving himself crazy here. If he thinks he needs to get away, then I won't stop him." Lissa had said when I'd tried to convince her to tell Christian that she was carrying his child. She was of course right, Christian was driving himself crazy. His aunt, the woman that had raised him and had been the only family he knew from a really young age had been executed not too long ago. He had seemed fine, but cracks soon started appearing in his oh so impenetrable façade. He started having nightmares and became even more antisocial than he already was. Hell, sometimes, I swore someone had shoved a stick so far up his ass there was no hope of ever pulling it out.
So, I'd stopped trying to convince Lissa. Instead, I kept her dirty little secret, only telling it to Dimitri as he held me close that final night before he left. I made him promise to keep Christian safe, to bring him back to us and more importantly his unborn child. Not that I needed to ask Dimitri to make that promise, my comrade was as lethal as they came, and Christian was the best fire wielding moroi I knew so any strigoi that tried to mess with those 2 was literally going to be toast, but something like that would make it all the more important.
The thing was, I understood Lissa's need to cut Christian loose. I understood, because I watched Dimitri struggle with nightmares of his own every single night. I knew he needed to get away as much as Christian did if not more. His strigoi past still haunted him just as how the rising sun still fascinated him. So, when Dimitri had asked me a million times if I was ok with him doing this, I said yes every single time. The only thing was that I hadn't thought it would've taken this long.
With a sigh I turned and headed back to palace housing. I needed to get out of here, I needed to get away from these people. No one tried stopping or talking to me and I couldn't have been happier. The last thing I needed right now was for someone to tell Lissa that I'd said or done something to them. Of course she'd understand, but I did have a reputation to uphold and, snobby royals soaking up the warmth and joy of the holidays with family and friends were problems for another time.
…
I wish I could say that walking into my apartment opposite Lissa's made me feel better. I wish I could say that the warmth chased away the chill that seeing all those people so happy and in love stirred up within me, but the truth was it did not. Walking into my quiet, dimly lit apartment only reminded me that I was alone in this apartment that was more like a suite. Sighing yet again, I hung my coat on the hook near the door and kicked off my shoes. I tossed the keys onto the table and headed into the master bedroom where I ran myself a hot bath all in the hopes of relaxing.
The bath helped, but not by much. I found myself slipping into one of those depressing melt downs, something I'd experienced a lot after Dimitri had left. Tears burnt my eyes, and I didn't try fighting them. I let them fall down my cheeks as my fingers strummed an all too familiar tune on the guitar.
At first, I could barely get the words out I was crying so hard. But I was able to calm down somewhat, and the song I knew like the back of my hand spilled out of my lips.
Please take down the mistletoe, cause I don't wanna think about that right now. Everything I want is miles away, in a snow covered hill town.
I paused, trying to keep the tears at bay and calm my rapid, shallow breathing.
My mama's in the kitchen, worrying about me. Seasons greetings hope you're well. I've been doing well if you were wondering, though lately I can never tell.
I closed my eyes and set the guitar down. Music usually helped, it was why I'd picked it up in the first place. Tonight however, it was doing absolutely nothing. From the moment I'd heard that song, I'd felt a huge connection to it. It had hit home instantly, and it didn't take long for me to learn the lyrics and cords on the guitar.
Tonight, it only filled my head with images which I'd done my damnest to ignore. It made playing that song completely unbearable. Thankfully, the tea kettle's whistle chose that moment to pierce the air. I sprang to my feet instantly and wiped the tears from my face. I wasn't going to cry anymore tonight. I'd been doing so well until I'd gone outside.
"Rose, can you hear me?" I was stirring some sugar into my tea when Lissa's voice filtered in through the bond. Surprised, I texted that I was in fact hearing her. She had been blocking me all day and hadn't responded to my texts. I'd just figured it was because she was busy. Today was my day off and I'd spent most of it indoors. I didn't really want to talk to anyone, so I hadn't thought much of Lissa blocking me.
"Come over?" She asked somewhat uncertainly. I didn't really want to, but her next words made me freeze. "We're waiting on you to have dinner." Dinner? Why were they waiting-realization felt like a slap in the face. It was thanksgiving, how the hell had I forgotten about that?
"Hey Rose," Startled, I looked down at my phone only to realize that I'd called Lissa.
"Hey," I said trying to not sound like I'd just been crying my eyes out.
"So aren't you coming over?" Lissa asked after a pause. I knew I heard concern in her voice, and cursed myself. So much for trying to deceive her. Lissa and I had been best friends since we were 5. She knew me as well as I knew her, and I knew her quite well. I mean we did share a psychic bond which gave me insight to her every thought.
"I-um," I sighed and so did Lissa.
"Please, Rose?" She asked. "Isn't Thanksgiving all about family being together?" Dam it. That did it.
"Fine," I grumbled. "I'll be right over." Lissa ended the conversation on a chirpier note and I smiled slightly. At least one of us was happy.
Sighing, I threw the rest of my tea down the sink. I didn't feel like drinking it anymore anyway. Making my way back to the master suite, I searched for something to wear. I pulled out a black sweater dress and decided that it was going to do. I didn't feel like wearing anything cheery, not when my world felt so unbalanced.
I undid my hair from the messy excuse of a bun on top of my head and ran the brush through it. Once I'd gotten out all the tangles, I twisted it up into a much neater bun, then thought better of it and pulled it up into a ponytail. Some mascara and concealer to hide the fact that I'd been crying was the only bit of makeup I wore. The usual silver necklace with my nazar and a locket with a picture of Dimitri and I hung around my neck. The chain itself had been the lust charm but was now charmed with spirit. It rarely ever left it's place around my neck. Dimitri had taken the Rose pendent with him.
I slipped on the fuzzy black boots from earlier and made my way out the door. There was no need for a coat since Lissa's apartment was right opposite mine, but as I stepped out of my warm apartment, I couldn't help the shiver. Maybe I should've put a light jacket on over the dress.
I didn't even bother knocking on the door. Instead, I just pushed it open and walked in as though I owned the place. I followed the voices in the direction of the kitchen.
"Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" Adrian said the moment he caught site of me. "Happy Thanksgiving, little Dhampir."
"Same to you," I said pretending not to notice the sidelong glance he shot me. I knew he was looking at my aura and didn't have to guess to know what it looked like.
"Happy Thanksgiving!" Lissa said pulling me into a hug that could've killed me. The rest of my friends echoed the sentiment and hugs. Everyone was there, everyone but the people I needed to see.
"Happy thanksgiving Roza," I spun so fast I nearly tripped on air. Strong arms caught me and pressed me against a strong, warm chest. His aftershave hit my nose, intoxicating and overwhelming.
"Comrade!" I screamed, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. His eyes locked on mine, chocolaty brown and bottomless just as I remembered them and then he bent his head, capturing my lips with his.
If this was what heaven felt like, then I wanted to stay there forever. His arms were wrapped around my waist, his lips moving sensually against mine, the heat of his body wrapping me up in a cocoon of delicious warmth.
"Baby, don't cry."" Dimitri murmured wiping the tears from my cheeks. I hadn't even realized that I'd been crying, but I offered up a watery smile.
"Awe!" Lissa squealed. "You guys are so cute!" I was sitting in Dimitri's lap, his arms seeming perminantly wrapped around my waist. "Dimitri, don't ever leave her again!"
"Yeah comrade, she's right. Please don't ever do that to me again!" His chuckle was soft but it brought a smile to my face.
"I won't, Roza." He said pressing a kiss to my cheek. I sighed and leant my head against his chest. A sudden chilling realization made me tense up.
"Wait, if you're back, where's-"I trailed off when he entered the room carrying the baby in his arms. His face lit up when he caught site of me and he handed the baby to Lissa.
"Rosie," He said and I leapt up to give him a hug.
"Welcome back, fire boy." I said. "It really wasn't the same without you around here." I said low enough so that only he heard.
"Awe, you saying you missed me?" He asked loudly. I rolled my eyes.
"Nah, I change my mind." I teased. Christian grinned.
"I missed you, too." He said giving me another hug. "It's not the same without your smartassness." I rolled my eyes again as the room erupted into laughter.
"It's great to have you guys back." Lissa said. "You too, Rose." Through the bond, I could feel her happiness and gratitude that her family was back together again, and honestly, her feelings matched my own. Now Sareya could grow up the way she was supposed to, with both parents and this group of people who had somehow become family surrounding her.
As we all sat down to dinner, I realized that even though this year had been hellish, I did have so much to be thankful for. Dimitri was back and I really could start the rest of my life with him by my side. I had my best friend back, and she was whole again. Our weird little group was back together again. There was absolutely nothing else that I wanted in that moment, well, nothing more than dessert.
"Are you ever going to cut that pie?" I asked Lissa. She rolled her eyes, and amidst conversation and laughter, Lissa sliced her pumpkin pie. It was not until the sun was high in the sky that Dimitri and I slipped out.
Let me know how you guys liked it in a review! And once again, happy Thanksgiving to everyone who celebrated on Thursday!
XX
Roza
