The Same Shade of Yellow, by Raberba girl

Chapter 6 - Momo and Her Mother

This time, Momiji did not come to the house with her. He simply kissed her good-bye and walked away, and she continued up the front walk to the door. Mama was still upset, though.

"Momo, it's late again. I don't like how you spend so much time with Momiji-kun. He's a nice boy, but still, you barely even know him!"

Momo felt a lump coming into her throat, though all she said was, "We met a few times when I was little, Mama. He's been away for a while, and we're catching up on all the time we've been apart."

"Still, you can't have been very close. Not enough to warrant this kind of attention. Or are you seeing him in a more romantic light, now?"

"Mama! That's disgusting!" Momo had forgotten for a second that her mother did not know how closely Momo and Momiji were related.

"He is very good-looking, I suppose, but don't you think he's a bit childish for his age? You should find a more mature young man, one who can take care of you properly when you get married."

Momo covered her face with her hands. "I can't believe we are talking about this."

Momo's father came in. "Welcome home, Momo." He paused and looked at her. "Were you out with Momiji-kun again?"

"Yes. We talked about a lot of things." While staring at Papa, Momo said pointedly, "We thought it was funny how alike we look. And really, Momiji-kun is also the very image of Mama."

"So...he told you, then?" Papa said after a moment.

"He didn't need to tell me," Momo spat out with more vehemence than she had intended. "It rather spoke for itself, didn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" her mother demanded.

"Nothing, nothing," Papa said soothingly. "What are we having for dinner? It smells delicious!"

Mama sniffed. "You and I are the only ones who will be able to enjoy it, I'm afraid. Momo, since she apparently has been well-fed already, will be going to her room and staying there for the rest of the night."

Momo, her face burning with anger, went to her room without a word. She jerked the door shut, threw herself onto her bed, and entertained angry thoughts. An hour or so later, when she had tired of that and was doodling pictures of rabbits, there was a soft knock on the door and her mother came in.

"Momo?" Momo stared at the paper without seeing it as Mama sat down on the bed. "Momo...I'm sorry. I think I've been too harsh with you about...about Momiji-kun. I know he's a nice boy. You'll do well with him."

"Mama, please stop thinking like that! Momiji-kun is just a good friend."

"All right. I understand, Momo."

'Exactly what is it you think you understand?' Momo thought, but she didn't say anything. It was quiet for a while, and her mother started rubbing her back soothingly.

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"Did you...have you ever - wanted another child?"

Mama laughed in surprise. "Another child? Well, I wouldn't have minded more, but I'm just fine having only you." She bent and kissed Momo's head.

"But, if you did have another child," Momo persisted, "would you be happy? Would you want him?"

"Well, of course I would! Why are you asking this, Momo?"

"What if there was something strange about him? Like, he had - a deformity, or something. Would you still want him then?"

Mama sighed. "Is there a reason for these questions?"

"Mama, please!"

"All right, all right. Well...it would be hard. But even so, there is something precious about the child from your own body. No matter what's wrong with it, it is still your flesh and blood; you can't just turn your back on it."

Momo felt tears running down her face. "So why did you?" she whispered.

"What was that, darling?"

"Why did you?! Why did you turn your back on him?"

"What--"

"Momiji-kun! You rejected your own son, you had him erased as if he never even existed!"

"Momo, what are you talking about?" Mama exclaimed in astonishment.

"He loves you so much! Every time he sees you, it brings a smile to his face! And yet you say hurtful things, like telling him to go home to parents who are worried about him! You erased him! You-- It's like you killed him! Your own son! And he still loves you so much!" Momo was on the verge of not saying it, because she knew it was not true, but then she plunged in recklessly and screamed, "He loves you more than I do! I don't like you at all! I hate a mama who would do such a thing to her own child!"

Mama looked as if she had been slapped. "M-Momo...how could you - say such things to me?" Mama gasped, sounding helpless and close to tears. Momo was suddenly horrified at what she had done.

Papa came into the room. "What is going on here?"

Momo ran out of the room and out of the house, and by the time she slowed down, she was a long way from home. She couldn't bear to face either of her parents, so she stood still and forced herself to stop crying, at least long enough so that she could call Momiji.

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Kagura's apartment was small and neat, though here and there the walls were scarred by nicks, gashes, and spots of paint. Momiji ushered Momo in and closed the door. Kagura, sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, looked up in surprise. "Momo-chan! What are you doing here this late?"

"Kagura, is it all right if Momo stays with us for the night?" Momiji asked.

"Is that what you called about, Momo-chan?" Kagura asked.

"Yes."

Kagura's eyes narrowed. "What is it? Did someone hurt you? I'll rip his guts out!"

It wasn't just talk. Momo knew that Kagura really could and would do what she said. "No, no! I'm all right, I just...um, got in a fight with my parents."

"Oh." Kagura relaxed, and her face softened into a smile. "You're a teenager, that's natural. Everyone has times when they don't get along with their parents."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to go to bed now," Momo said.

"Of course! You can have Momiji's bed, and he'll sleep on the couch."

"Hey!" Momiji whined. "Thanks for asking!"

"I can sleep on the couch--" Momo started.

"Nuh-uh, Momo, I was just kidding! You can sleep in my bed!"

"Here, Momo-chan," Kagura offered, "I'll show you the bathroom."

Later, after Momo had gotten into bed, Momiji came in to check on her, and to say good night.

"Oniisan..." Momo caught his hand. She pulled him close and whispered shakily, "Oniisan, I said nasty things to Mama. I feel horrible, but...I still can't - forgive her. I'm the worst." Momo felt too disgusted with herself to cry.

Momiji kissed her forehead. Momo expected an encouraging, moralistic speech, but all he said was, "We still love you, Momo." Then he smiled at her and left.

As Momo lay half-asleep in the darkness of the room, she could hear Momiji's voice drifting through the door. He was talking on the phone.

"Hello? Hi, Papa, it's me. Yes, Momo's staying with me and Kagura tonight. Yes! Oh, of course not! Yes, yes. Bye, Papa. I love you."

to be continued...

Author's Notes: Ugh, I hate this chapter. Momo's mom seems all sweet and loving on the outside, but I think she doesn't like me. She just won't let me get inside her head or something. This chapter probably gave me more headache than the rest of them put together, and I even had to go so far as to consult my sister and my mother for help.