The Same Shade of Yellow, by Raberba girl
Chapter 8 - Muddy Treasures
He smiled at her. He was as beautiful as ever. The sight of Akito in all his silken glory, sitting in the middle of the living room she saw every day, was so incongruous in Momo's mind that she almost forgot to reply when Akito greeted her.
"Oh! Hello, Akito-san. Hello, Yuki-san," she added, as the second man, accompanied by her father, returned to the living room from another part of the house.
"Momo, welcome home," her father said. He pulled her close in a hug, then stood back and looked carefully at her face. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.
"Yes. I'm sorry, Papa."
They sat down next to Momo's mother, across from Akito and Yuki. At first it was only friendly chit-chat, which Momo fell into easily. She had the feeling they might have been talking about her earlier, but her entrance had lightened the conversation back to pleasantries and casual news.
"You were right," Akito said to Momo's father. He looked at Momo as he spoke. "Your daughter is a very pretty girl. She takes after her mother."
"Thank you," Mrs. Sohma said.
Akito sighed softly. "It is a shame that you could not pass on your good looks to more children."
"We thought about having one or two after Momo," Mrs. Sohma said, just the tiniest bit stiffly, "but it never really worked out."
"Ah." Akito smiled disarmingly. "What a pity," he said again, in a soft, musing kind of way. He took a small sip of tea.
"Raising children can be difficult," Yuki said sympathetically. "Especially if a child is different from others."
"We find Momo to be quite well-adjusted, thank you."
Yuki chuckled quietly. "You misunderstand. I had someone else in mind when I said that. But as to that, Momo is a quiet girl. I think she has things to offer that she does not know about yet. She can be lonely, even with her friends, because she has not yet found the way to use her gifts for other people, and she is not sure how to connect to them." He smiled and rested his chin on his hand. "I was the same way when I was young."
"I-- " Momo started, and stopped. Then her face burned as she realized they were all looking at her and she had to go on. "I was going to say...I think a lot of people feel, sometimes, like they are different from everyone else. And, when you meet someone who seems strange at first, or has something wrong with them, you can't just discard them on first sight. Because everyone's like that. I know someone...someone who can accept people the way they are. She sees the good in them, and she takes their bad or scary parts together with their good parts. Because she knows that it's worth it. I wish... I know it's silly to say, but I...I just wish that everyone could be like that." Momo stared into her lap and refused to look at her mother. She had tried not to sound accusing, but the part of her that ached for Momiji had wanted her to say it.
Momo finally raised her head, and saw that her parents had lost the thread of the conversation. Akito and Yuki looked calm and thoughtful. The steam from the cup of tea Akito held nestled in his hands drifted up lazily to caress his face. Momo watched it. When he spoke, his lips began moving so smoothly that Momo hardly connected them to the sound of his voice.
"It would be a very strange world, if everyone understood each other." He paused. "No one would ever need to work. To search their loved one so deeply that it hurts, and then to gather the ugly, dirty things they have found close in their arms, as if they were treasures." He closed his eyes and sipped his tea. His long, fine lashes lay across his skin like black feathers on snow. "How boring."
Momo breathed in, then out. "But it would be easier."
Akito carefully set his cup down. "Some people are weak. Have you ever thought of that? In your world, a weak person will accept themselves and others so well, that they will not be able to bear it. The muddy treasures that they try to take into their arms will cut them, and because they are weak, they will have no protection against being cut so deeply that they bleed to death." He smiled his meaningful, narrow-eyed smile. "I think it is best if these weak people did not have to dig at all. Someone else must do that. Someone else must find the treasure, and clean it, and polish away its sharp parts, so that when it is given to the weak person, it will not cause harm."
Momo smiled. 'You and your allegories, Akito-san. Don't worry. I understand. It's just the same thing Tohru-san was trying to tell me.' She looked at her mother, thoughtfully. Momo remembered the way her mother had welcomed her home, even after Momo had caused her such pain. 'Only, I do not think that Mama is weak. It is only that the sharp parts she can handle are different from the ones that Tohru-san can. Maybe Mama will never be able to accept Oniisan. But she has accepted me. And I know that I can sometimes be just as hurtful to her as Oniisan was.'
Akito suddenly coughed. It was a small, hiccuping kind of cough, but Yuki looked alarmed.
"Forgive me," Akito murmured. "I find the air in here somewhat heavy." He coughed again.
Yuki frowned and leaned toward Akito, peering at him intently. Momo looked, and now she saw that beads of sweat were standing out on Akito's skin. "Akito, you should have told me before now that you weren't feeling well," Yuki said, after he had put his hand to Akito's forehead and taken it away. He shook his head, and the frown on his face deepened.
"We were having such an intriguing conversation with Momo. I could not pull myself away," Akito said, trying to sound light and amused. Akito had to pause to gather himself before he accepted Yuki's hand to help him up, but even so, Akito did not look very steady. Yuki quietly took his arm, offering support.
"Thank you very much for having us," Yuki said to Momo's parents.
"We were honored by your visit," Momo's father said, without really thinking about it. He seemed to be more concerned about Akito. "Here, sir, let me take your other side." Akito looked annoyed, but did not protest when Momo's father took his other arm and helped him outside along with Yuki.
Momo's mother still sat, staring at her folded hands and not saying anything. Momo went to sit beside her. "Mama? Are you all right?"
"Mm-hm." She paused. "That was...a strange conversation we were having, though. It was confusing - Akito-san seemed so earnest, yet I couldn't understand him at all. Like he was saying two things at once, and I couldn't hear both parts."
"He is very mysterious," was all Momo could think to say. Fortunately, Mama only nodded and started to put the tea things away.
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"Um, Ronnie-kun."
"Huh? Oh, hi, Momo-san." He smiled.
"Hello." Still, she could not think what to say. But she kept looking at his face, instead of dropping her gaze. She suddenly drew in a breath and then let it out with words. "I really like you, Ronnie-kun. Will you go out with me?"
He stared at her for a second, surprised. Then her heart sank, slowly and quietly, as she watched the look on his face change to discomfort and helplessness.
"Never mind. Don't worry about trying to not hurt my feelings. It's okay." She turned and walked away.
"I'm sorry, Momo-san!" he called after her. There was a pause, and then a second later he ran to catch up. "Wait, Momo-san. It's not that I don't like you, it's just...I don't really think of you in a - girlfriend kind of way." He tried to smile, but saw it was useless. "Um...I'll see you around, I guess."
Momo just nodded, imagining her expression to match what she remembered of Hana's. That was how she felt - blank and gloomy.
Ronnie awkwardly went away, and Momo trudged on, not bothering to think about where she was going. She did not feel like going home, she wanted to be somewhere where nobody knew her and she could relax into her misery.
Momo stopped when she saw the restaurant that Momiji had taken her to the first time they met. She stood looking at it for a minute, then shrugged. Why not? She went and pushed through the front door, looked around for an empty place, then did a double take when she spotted someone familiar in the corner. Kagura? Momo came up softly behind her. Kagura was alone, and she was crying.
"Kagura-san?"
Kagura froze, then whirled around. "YOU ARE SUCH A JERK! HOW COULD YOU JUST DUMP ME LIKE--" Kagura broke off when she saw who it was she was shaking by the neck. The furious blaze in her eyes died, and her body went limp. "Oh, Momo-chan...I'm-- I'm so sorry."
Momo winced and rubbed at her own neck, then sat down in the seat next to Kagura and put her arm around the other girl's shoulders. "Kagura-san, what happened?"
Kagura began to cry again. "Daisuke. He dumped me."
Momo's eyes filled with tears that didn't fall. She still felt as if she had been suspended on another planet, separated from her feelings, but now suddenly Kagura had been dumped on the same planet. It made Momo feel a little bit better, in a dumb, selfish kind of way.
"Tell me."
"He f-finally found out about the curse!" Kagura sobbed. "He was jealous...he started y-yelling at me about how I'm always all over everyone except him, and I- couldn't tell him it was only Kyo-kun and them I was allowed to hug, and it's hard to k-kiss and stuff when Daisuk-e doesn't know I can't put m-my arms around him," Kagura paused, trying to stay coherent enough to continue, "and I was ab-bout to beat him up 'cause he was j-jealous of me for no reason...but then he started crying, and h-he yelled at me some more, and th-then he grabbed me, and I turned into a boooaaarr!" The last word ended in a wail, and Kagura put her head down on the table and sobbed.
Momo stroked her back for a while, until Kagura started to calm down. After a long time, Kagura's sobs subsided into an occasional sniffle. She sat up, breathing hard and looking angry. "He completely flipped out. He shoved me away and stared at me like I was a sickening freak - and I am, I am! We all are! I HATE IT!"
"Ssh," Momo soothed. "That's not true, Kagura-san."
"Well, he sure thinks it is!" Kagura snarled, and it somehow turned back into a wail. "The look he gave me...it was horrible." Kagura suddenly froze. "Oh," she whispered. And then, "Oh, no no no..."
"What, Kagura-san? What is it?"
"That's what I did to Kyo-kun," Kagura whispered. She whimpered and seemed about to cry again, but then got ahold of herself. "I did the same thing to Kyo-kun. I gave him the same look. When I made him take off his bracelet that time. It was so long ago, and I tried so hard to make it up to him afterwards, but-- Oh, Kyo-kun, this is how he felt..." Kagura began crying again, but more softly this time. Again Momo held her for a while, until Kagura was calmer.
"Oh, what do I do, Momo-chan? Daisuke ran out before I had time to explain. And now he hates me, and he thinks I'm a freak, and I have to tell Akito-san and Hatori so that they can erase Daisuke's memories...but...I don't want them to...I HATE being a part of this stupid, stupid curse!"
"I hate it, too." Kagura looked at her in surprise. "I hate all the trouble it's caused. I hate that, because of the curse, I don't have a brother."
Kagura suddenly laughed. "I'm sorry, Momo-chan. Compared to your problems, mine must seem so dumb."
"I was going to say the same thing to you. I finally asked Ronnie-kun out. He wasn't interested."
"The jerk!"
And then somehow they were laughing and talking as if this was a normal dinner date. They chatted for nearly half an hour, pretending to make up elaborate plans of revenge on their respective men.
"Don't worry, Kagura-san," Momo said as she was finally getting up to leave. She caught Kagura's hand and smiled at her. "Daisuke-san is not the only man in the world. And I'm sure that someday, you'll find a person who can accept all your muddy treasures along with the rest of you."
"What are you talking about?"
Momo laughed. "Ask Akito-san."
to be continued...
Author's Notes: Grr on you, Mrs. Sohma. Akito and Yuki saved this chapter for me, though. I hope the weird conversation came out all right; that kind of thing always works out well in my head, and then looks terrible when I attempt to write it down. I was actually dealing with that throughout the whole fic, not just chapter 8, but I think it turned out okay. Probably because I wrote down the conversations right away, instead of letting them stew for ages in my head.
