Good Bye
I finally saw the true Envy, his true face the one he always hid behind with the use of others. I understood why Envy hated me so passionately why he wished to kill me so badly among all else.
But then the pain struck me…the excruciating pain from within…I had no chance to scream, no chance to yell, no chance to howl in pain…
The pain was so overwhelming, all my senses of pain, hurt or injury none of it was comprehended in my mind. I just sat there on my knees and watched the blood seep out onto Envy's arm.
The only way you could tell it all happened was my random silence, I went from yelling to silence in no time. I also had only the expression of pure shock on my face, no pain just pure distress, and pure surprise. It all happened so quickly the only way I could react was a face expression, no curses, no screams, and no death glares.
I heard Alphonse call to me, his hollow voiced called in a distraught form, though he couldn't see me he had the thought that something happened. 'My poor brother' I thought 'I was never able to return him to the body he wished for, the body he wanted so near and dearly'. 'How could I leave this world knowing I couldn't save him?' it pained me to know I was useless to him now.
I felt myself being thrown to the cold hard floor. Cold, that's how I felt now I felt like I was covered in ice. My skin felt so cold, the still running blood left a freezing cold track when it fell to the floor.
Rose called to me now, at first in a quiet whisper and then in a scream of great worry 'please don't worry Rose'. 'I don't deserve worry from you' I thought as I stared at the ceiling. I smiled on the inside knowing that the two of them, Alphonse and Rose, cared so deeply for me.
As I stare at the ceiling I notice that the clear detail of it is now a blur, a blur that seems to be getting worse by the second. It seems to only be a mixture of colors and nothing more. I don't blink in fear that if I blink I may never open my eyes, to see everyone that I care for. How I leave everyone I care for with nothing but destruction or death, I killed many without even knowing so.
I'll leave this world with so many things unfinished, a big puzzle with pieces broken or gone.
Why now? Why here? One question is answered while others take its place in my mind. I guess the gate thinks it's my time to leave.
I think leaving will make things unfair for others. But I've found out through my experiences, that not everything is fair, not everyone will be rewarded for their deeds.
I start to feel my eyelids drooping, they seem to weight so much now. Exhaustion eats up my energy and I seem to be reaching my end. All I have to say before I go is.
Thank you Riza for the encouragement.
Thank you Mustang for helping me.
Thank you Hughes for accepting me.
Thank you Rose for teaching me.
Thank you Master for your patience with me.
Thank you Armstrong for assisting me.
Thank you Havoc for supporting me.
Especially you Alphonse, I still don't understand how you could stand my all my mistakes. But you helped me with so much, without you I would be nothing.
Miss me never, by missing me it would only ruin your life more then I already have.
I felt my eyes close and all my nerves and feelings slip away from underneath me. It almost felt as if I was shutting down slowly and gently I was losing it all.
I feel my head fall to the side, it weighted too much for me to hold up, and I can let you all live in peace again. Before I ruined your lives, before it was soiled by my presences.
"Goodbye…" I whisper lightly.
