TWO
The news of their discord spread rapidly through the outfit. When asked what was going on, Lieutenant MacAllister would only say, with obvious resentment, "Someone's just being extremely hard-headed!"
Captain Pierce, on the other hand, ranted to everyone who would listen: "One favor. One little favor. And she won't even consider doing it!"
Hearing about the argument, Colonel Potter called Captain Hunnicutt away from his hospital duty. "Do you know what's going on?" he asked the other surgeon who had stepped outside the post-op ward at his senior officer's request.
B J Hunnicutt shook his head in bewilderment, "Sorry, Colonel. No idea."
"Do me a favor, son. You only have two patients in there and Margaret can take care of any problems that come up. Go talk to them. See if you can calm both of those hotheads down before we have the whole camp taking sides." Potter directed.
"I'll try, sir."
As the doctor entered the Swamp, Charles Winchester looked up at him in relief, "Hunnicutt, thank goodness you have arrived! I simply can not get him to listen to reason. Perhaps you will be able to communicate with him. I suggest you use a polo mallet!" Irritated, the older officer swept from the tent.
Grinning at the man's theatrics, B J spoke to Hawkeye who was sulking on his cot, "OK, Hawk, what's going on?"
"Nothing," Pierce replied. Without prompting, he continued, crossly, "You never really know someone until you ask a favor from them. And all it I wanted was one simple favor!"
"Must have been some favor," the Californian remarked. "The way I hear it, the two of you had a shouting match in the mess tent."
The other man protested, "It's just that---since she's never done anything for me---you'd think she'd do this one thing!"
Hunnicutt shook his head. "That's not true. Are you forgetting that she insisted Winchester use the proper suture techniques for that cut on your forehead? He was so furious at you for stealing one of his scarves; that he wanted to give you stitches more appropriate for Frankenstein's monster. And, what about the time…."
"OK. So maybe she has done some things for me. But still…."
Just then, B J Hunnicutt noticed a packet of letters and a wrapped tin of baked goods from home on his bed. "Hey!" he exclaimed in excitement. "I bet this is some of Peg's rum cake. She said she was sending me some."
Energized, in spite of himself, Hawkeye Pierce leapt from his own bed and sat beside his friend. "Dibs! Dibs!" he called.
"Sorry, Hawkeye," Hunnicutt tore away the wrappings, opened the tin and helped himself to a piece. "This is only for people who are speaking to Sarabeth. No, I mean it," he said as he pulled the delicious smelling cake away from the other man.
"Come on, Beej. Give me some!" Pierce pleaded as he tried several times to grab a piece. "Just a bite. Just a crumb! I'm starving here!"
Returning the lid to the can, Hunnicutt was emphatic. "No Peg's homemade rum cake for you until you make up with Sarabeth---today."
"All right! All right!" the dark-haired man agreed, "I'll talk to her."
"Right now." B J commanded. He was still holding the tin away from his roommate's grasping hands.
"Right now, I promise!" Pierce swore. "Cross my heart!"
Smiling, he offered the cake to Hawkeye who snatched a handful of crumbs eagerly. "Right now, Hawk!"
"OK. OK. I'm going." Putting on his jacket, Pierce helped himself to more cake. "Yum! You better save me some more of that!" he ordered as he exited the Swamp.
Standing outside Lieutenant MacAllister's tent, Captain Pierce studied her painted cattle brand for a moment. Now that he was here, he wasn't certain Peg's cake was worth this. Hesitantly, he knocked.
"Come on in, Captain," MacAllister called. She had seen him approaching through the door screen.
"Lieutenant. Sarabeth. May I come in?" the man questioned through the door. Opening the door a crack, he pushed a white handkerchief through the opening and waved it. "Truce?"
Grinning, in spite of herself, the Texan called, "Truce. Come on in, Hawkeye." As he entered, she gestured to a nearby chair. "Have a seat." She smiled as he glanced around for obvious weapons. "It's OK. I'm not mad enough to chunk rocks at you. Not yet," MacAllister added.
"Not yet." Pierce echoed. "That's comforting."
"Look, Hawkeye. Let's start over," Sarabeth suggested. "I'm willing to listen to
you---ifyou're willing to listen to me."
"Agreed. Maybe I did go a little overboard," the man admitted. "But this is important!"
"A little?" She muttered but then smiled, "Agreed." The young woman poured them both some coffee. "Here, have some cow pies." MacAllister pushed an opened can of cookies towards the man.
Pierce grinned, "The last time I called Dad; he talked about these. He'd love to try some."
"Sure. I reckon we can ship him a ton of cow pies from the ranch." At his horrified expression, she asked innocently, "Or, did you mean the edible kind?"
"The edible kind---most definitely."
"I'll see what I can do." Smiling, she reached for a cookie. "OK, let's get down to business. If I'm going to help you, you have to promise not to take the food out of the mouths of orphans."
"You're right. That was a bad idea. I promise," Pierce conceded. "But you have to promise to not tell B J what we're planning."
"Hawk, he has to know what's going on," the woman protested.
"No, swear to me---you won't tell BJ," the man was persistent.
Exhaling slowly, the woman nodded in agreement. "I, Sarabeth MacAllister, swear, on my word as a Texan, that I will not talk to B J Hunnicutt about this."
Missing the slight emphasis in her words, Hawkeye Pierce nodded in anticipation. "Let's get started."
"Let's see." She took a clean sheet of paper and began making a list. "We'll need plane tickets. And hotel reservations: Peg should probably come in a couple of days ahead of time; just to give her and Erin a chance to recover from the flight. And once B J arrives, they'll need a larger room."
"One with a king sized bed; and a bathtub; and room service," the man added.
"Right. And, and another room for the baby-sitter."
"A baby-sitter? Why?"
"Hawkeye," Sarabeth explained with an arched eyebrow, "never having been married, I may be making a wrong assumption. But, if you hadn't seen your wife in almost a year, what would be one of the first things you would want to do?"
Captain Pierce's smile of understanding was dazzling, "One baby-sitter; an unquestionable necessity."
"And we need someone to meet Peg at the airport. I wonder if both of them will need a passport."
"And what inoculations will they need."
The two of them worked for nearly an hour, making certain they had all the details covered. Sarabeth stood and stretched. "All right, you ask Colonel Potter for his permission. I'll ask Charles what hotel he'd recommend. And then we'll get Klinger to call Peg---to see if she would be willing to do this. But you're going to have a hard time keeping this from BJ," she warned.
"Not if we tell everyone to keep it a secret."
"He may overhear something or someone may let something slip. He might even be told, deliberately, just to spoil your fun."
"Who would do that?"
MacAllister raised her eyebrow at him again but said nothing.
"Yeah, you're right. I can think of someone who might do that. So, what are we going to be about it?"
"There's no 'we' in that one, Hawkeye. If you want to keep this a secret from B J, then you're the one who has to think up ways to keep him in the dark; besides stealing all the light bulbs."
"I think I can manage that. At least, we," Hawkeye stated with one of his impish grins, "can start figuring how to pay for this; besides stealing from Sister Teresa."
"Pay day's coming up. We can explain to everyone what we're planning. I'm sure most people will be willing to give something," she suggested. "And, like you said, at every other event that we have, we can ask for donations---for both causes. If we plan on this, say...maybe the week before Christmas, we should be able to raise enough money between now and then."
"Except that," Pierce frowned, "it shouldn't be the week before Christmas. That's one of our busiest times. Both sides try to get in all the licks they can before the Christmas truce."
"Terrific." The woman shook her head in dismay. "Why should that surprise me? OK. How about the second week in December?"
"Sounds good. Let's do it!"
Finished with his shift, stepping out of the post-op building, Captain Hunnicutt yawned. He tensed as a man moved towards him from the shadows.
"B J Hunnicutt?" the man asked. Relaxing when he heard Klinger's voice beneath the hat pulled down around his eyes, B J wondered what slightly-crazed diversion they were entering now.
The fedora-adorned gentleman gazed at the taller man in the lamp light and read from the small notebook he held in his hand. "Tall, sandy-haired, wearing a caterpillar. That's you, all right. My name is Sam Klinger: Detective Sam Klinger. And I have a lady who needs to speak to you, except she can't say anything to you. It's a secret. So I'll be her mouthpiece, see? Come with me."
"And where are we going?" The officer was amused at the 'tough' guy's antics.
"You'll see. Let's not keep the lady waiting."
"Lead the way, Detective," he hoped there would still be a piece of rum cake left when he returned.
"I don't know," Captain Hunnicutt admitted to the two people who were sitting with him at Rosie's bar. "I would love to see Peg; and Erin. I'll have to think about it, though." He was tearing his paper napkin into tiny shreds. "I certainly can't afford it."
"B J, if you want this to happen, we'll get the money somehow. That's a MacAllister promise," the Texan assured him. "But only if you agree to this. Despite what Hawkeye wants, you and Peg have to make that decision; it's not ours to make.
The doctor nodded in agreement. "Klinger, first chance you get, will you call Mill Valley? I need to talk to Peg about this."
"You got it, Captain."
