Anime: Saint Seiya
Couple: Mu and Shaka
Author: Litha-chan
Rate: Yaoi, Angst, Romance, Lemon
Status: In progress
Started in: May/2005.

Disclamer Saint Seiya belongs to Kurumada & cia. This fic has no profitable purposes. Unfortunately, if Mu had been invented by me he'd be more... (I'll shut up not to spoil the fic) and if Shaka had been invented by me I wouldn't have let him… (I'll shut up again).

The great gratefulness to Ice Magus for translating this fic for the english, since I have a certain deficiency for this language. Credits it for this favor. I am in waits it of commentaries.

PS 0.1: I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was hard to write it due to the huge amount of feelings (specially Shaka's), and also because of the explanations that will be presented in the end of the chapter.

Nice reading!


- A Chance to Love -
Chapter III
Somewhere along the way...


"No warning from such a sad song
Of broken hearts
My dreams of fantasy and fairy tales
Were destroyed
I lost my spiritual peace
Somewhere along the way..."

oOo

"How come? I can't believe this". It was the voice with a tone of disbelief from Aldebaran. "Did she do that? Did she really do that?" He asked Um who simply nodded confirming the sad fact.

"Yes, Aldebaran, and I froze thinking thathe could get out of control and hurt her somehow". Really Mu could not imagine something like that happening.

Aldebaran had to laugh at the situation, making Aries a little bit uncomfortable and slightly annoyed. "Ram, you have two bombs on your hand, right? I really would like to have seen Shaka's face. I still can't imagine him doing all the things you have been telling me about. Now…" He smiled showing Mu that his brazilian friend had just thought about something not convenient. " Why didn't you interfere to calm things down a little bit?"

He sighed at that question. He could, in fact stand between Shaka and Mireia and finish all that mess, but… "Because Shaka is the man I love and I have already hurt him so much, and Mireia is the mother of my child. I don't deny the fact that deep inside I wanted to do something, but if I did… Both would turn their backs on me. I know Mireia has a tough personality and now Shaka letting all his feelings arise… My friend, I'd be torn into pieces". He said, complaining.

"Yes, my friend, as I said before, you have two bombs on your hands". Finished him shaking his head still carrying a smile on his thick lips. "Now, talking a little bit more blatantly". Mu shivered at the thought of what the brazilian could say.

"If Shaka has been that angry these days, I believe the day when you two… You know… The day"... He was blunt, but not that much. Say such things to Mu was always fun, because he was a little shy in those issues, but was like that as well.

"Oh, Deba... Please, don't say such things. He hates me and I can't think about things like that". "I couldn't think about things like that ? Who am I trying to fool?" He thought to himself.

He hás always imagined himself with Shaka. The Virgo, since the first time they touched each other was a part of his dreams, from the sweetest ones, such as a quick glance, to even the dirtiest ones. Whenever he dreamed about Shaka it was as if a volcano erupted inside him. The blond man filled him with desire, making him want to posses him intensively.

Aldebaran, noticing that Aries' thoughts were elsewhere, had to play with him once more. He hated to see his friend so down in the dumps. "Hey, Ram, dream about little Budha later on. How come you are so at alert beside a pure person like me?" He was having fun, and started to laugh out loud when he saw Mu all scared and covering himself with his robe.

"Deba, you are worthless". He said trying to look serious, but letting out a smile on his reddish face.

"I'm worthless, right, Ram? Yes, yes"... Said he standing up, it was already time for the last patrol on the Sanctuary, that, on that day, was his to take care of. " Let me go, before Saga starts annoying me saying I'm lazy. That one loves to bother everyone". He walked while speaking and leavinghis friend from the first House a big smile.

"Humf… And now what am I supposed to do? If there's really anything to do, that is". He asked himself, finding no answers.

XoOoX

"How could that... That... Ow, I can't say anything else". He was walking from one side to the other of his House, holding his horses not to say anything more about the woman that hit him. And the worst of all was that he was in no condition to calm down and meditate. His eyes did not obey when he tried to make them close. Everytime he closed them he saw the face of Aries and after that the face of that woman. So, not to make it become frequent he decided to keep his eyes wide open.

"She hit me, she simply hit me and he did nothing. He stood there and didn't take any side… That bastard!" He only noticed he was crying when he felt thick tears falling on his hand intensively.

He threw himself on his meditating floor, felling tired and beaten. He loved that Aries too much, he felt helpless in the face of that astonishing situation. He was jealous of Mu because he was with that woman. He wished he were her to be by his side, to be able to carry his child, but it was useless, since he was a man, since Aries had betrayed him. Jealousy and envy, stingy feelings.

He touched the side of his face where he had been hit, the skin was hurting no longer, but his soul was. Despite it all, she had been the only one that stood up against him to protect Aries. His mind remembered the words they exchanged, the poison he had thrown and something in his mind screamed and laughed. Laughed saying that all that had been his fault, that he himself had created this situation and that only he himself could solve it all. It's obvious that the voice inside him spoke with sarcasm, laughing at his situation. Who else was his worst enemy, other than himself? He was so dumbfounded in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice the presence beside him looking at him with deep preoccupation.

Aphrodite had entered the House of Virgo, because he felt a serious oscillation of cosmos inside the House and was feeling bad to see the blond man laying on the floor crying and not noticing what was going on around. He kneeled close to Shaka, and, without a second thought – because if he had thought he wouldn't have done that – he pulled Shaka close to his body. It was all he could do at that moment. Calm his newly found friend down and he would do it, after all, news in the Sanctuary spread in the speed of the light and Aphrodite already knew about Mu's situation and about Shaka's feelings and, of course, about that unexpected meeting in the village that was probably the cause of the blond man's sad state.

"Shiiii, calm down, Shaka, calm down". He was like a mother taking care of her crybaby in her arms. Aphrodite's voice was a calm whisper, a way to calm Shaka down. "Don'tbe like that, things will straighten out". He was touching the hair of the blond man that covered his face in a sweet way.

Shaka didn't even care about being seen in that state And when Aphrodite took him in his arms he wished it had been Mu to do it and not the pisces knight, but it was a nice thing, nevertheless.

"No… They won't". He said, sobbing, he was still facing down. "There's no turning back… There are no chances". He felt tears still on his cheeks and a growing pain in his heart.

Aphrodite sighed and, holding Shaka's arms a little strongly, pulled him back so that he could look at his eyes and speak. "Look, Virgo Shaka, I don't allow you to give up like that. Sincerely, I want you and the ram to make up, but in order for that to happen you must abandon your pride". He said it all at once, it was no spanking, on the other hand, it was still a calm and tender voice.

Shaka couldn't look at pisces eyes. Really, his pride wouldn't let him walk even an inch. "How are we going to make up if he preferred to be with that woman? He said in a low tone of voice, still looking at something on the floor.

Aphrodite embraced Shaka again and sighed deeply… "It's gonna be a long quest this one" He thought to himself, since he was trying to make a stubborn virgo understand the facts that were clear in front of him. "Shaka, I want to talk to you seriously about everything that is happening, but you must help me, specially by being receptive and by trying to leave behind your hurt pride".

"What else can I do, Aphrodite? I'm already here, right? So, talk to me and I'll listen to you". In a tired way, he pulled back from Aphrodite's receptive arms.

"Ok, so, to start stop calling me Aphrodite. It's Dite, right? After having witnessed all I did, I insist that you use that nickname". He said with a smile, observing that the blond man shook his head, censoring something.

XoOoX

The days passed by in a torturing and lazy way. Shaka thought about the conversation he had with Aphrodite two weeks ago over and over again. The pisces knight tried to explain that Mu still loved him, that the fact that Mireia was pregnant was no reason for them to be apart and that it was a foolishness of the Virgo to keep thinking about all that anger, envy, jealousy and insecurity. Mu loved him and also was suffering with all that situation. But on Shaka's head, Aries had betrayed him, he had deceived him. Now, he was connected to another person by a bond that could not be denied. A son. A son, that deep inside he wished he could have, even though it was impossible. It was always like that, he tried to meditate and everytime he found himself thinking about his problem, his pain, the absence, how much he missed Mu.

The sky still had that beautiful orange color of dawn, even though it was time for a little more pleasant weather, the weather there was always very good. It was the end of January and and on the next month he would have to take part in some meetings previously arranged by the Goddess and that would keep all the month of February very busy. His worries were right. At the end of the second month of the year and in march would be the time for the birth of Mu's son. He didn't want to think about it, but as that month was getting closer, he couldn't help it.

He took a deep breath and, while he still remained seated, he started a mantra to regain his balance.

"OM MANI PADME HUM" ¹

Shaka spent the rest of dawn and the coming of the dense night in his meditation. His hands were in the position of the Dhyana Mudra ². He wanted to be able to get rid of those stingy feelings easily like that, but for that he would have to focus on the teachings of Budha and thatwas what he was decided to do.

XoOoX

It was already the fifth meeting Althena called and it wasn't easy at all to be face to face with the Aries knight. He always looked at Shaka as though he was expecting the proper moment to speak. Shaka knew that Mu wanted to speak to him, but even though he had been meditating a lot, even though everyone was telling him to give Aries a chance to explain himself, Shaka couldn't do it. It was painful to look at him, it was painful to look at those green eyes, the same eyes he wanted so much. But what hurt himmore was the fact that, within a month, Mu would have somebody by his side linked by blood bonds.

"I wish I could schedule another meeting in March, but I don't want to disturb some knights who have their obligations". It was Saori's voice in the direction of Aries. "Mu, I know that you are busy this month with the birth of Amal. I'd like to help you with anything you may need, money spent with the hospital and any other kind of needs. You are one of my knights and I believe that one day Amal will also inherit the responsibilities that you today have with the Sanctuary". She said firmly, but without any ordering.

Shaka shivered when he heard that. So, the child's name was Amal? That name could be given either to a boy or to a girl, but the goddess said that in the future that child could have the same fate as Aries? "Could they already know it's going to be a boy? If that's true, will I have to be always close to this child?" Thought Shaka, still tense on the red velvet chair in the meeting room.

"Yes, goddess. I thank you for your offer, but that won't be necessary. I'm going to help her deliver the baby myself, according to the lemurian tradition, I only request some serves be available so that they can help me". His voice was calm. He didn't want to talk about that, not in the presence of Shaka, but how would he deny Athena that? After all, it was no ordinary event on the Sanctuary and the other knights were all curious, and some of them had already met the mother of his son and already knew many things. He tried to stare Shaka, but the blond one didn't even bother looking at him.

"If we have no other issue to discuss about, then you are all dismissed ". Saori was standing up to leave the room when she heard the Virgo Knight's low voice speak to her.

"Goddess Athena, could we have a private talk?" He spoke in a low tone of voice while the other knights left the room, but it's obvious that one small group was curious to know what did Virgo want to talk to the Goddess, since he had been more silent than usual.

"Sure, Virgo Shaka, please, follow me to the throne room, there we will have more privacy". Saori knew all about the knight's situation and she felt bad for it, but she couldn't interfere.

They walked to the throne room in silence. Athena sat elegantly on the throne, leaving her staff beside her and calling the knight: "Come closer, Shaka and tell me:what do you wish to talk about?" Her posture was different from that of the spoiled girl from some years ago. She was now a woman, despite her young age, but she honored her title Goddess Athena and was no longer Saori Kido, the spoiled girl.

"Forgive me, Athena, but I must ask you a favor. I never asked you anything, never requested anything in my favor, but always in the favor of others". He bowed low to Athena as a sign of respect.

"Shaka, please, stand up or sit here beside me". Her voice was calm and much like a worried mother.

Shaka sat closer to her in the position he was used to, he crossed his legs as if he was going to meditate and faced the Goddess. "I wish I could leave the Sanctuary for some time, Goddess. I must find balance, so that I can be worthy of my post as a knight".

"I know you need it, but do you have any idea when you have to go? Or when you intend to come back? You are one of the knights in whom I trust most. Not that I don't trust the others, of course". She stared Shaka that, even though seemed to be calm and peaceful, it was clear in his cosmos that he was neither one nor the other.

"To be sincere, Goddess Athena, I wish I could go as fast as possible, but without telling anyone. About my return, I can't tell you for sure because I must reestablish myself in order to come back fully recovered". Deep inside he wanted Athena to let him leave the sanctuary also because he didn't want to be there when the child would be born.

"In this case, Virgo knight, I give you permission to leave and even though you take long to return this will always be your home and where your obligations are. I only ask that you wait for the next meeting when Camus is going to be with us". She knew she couldn't make him stay in the Sanctuary, so it was better to let him go. The place was in peace and therefore, Shaka's presence was not necessary.

Shaka was relieved due to the permission. "Thank you, Goddess. Now, if you allow me, I'll go meditate in my temple". He left after he obtained what he wanted and left, leaving the room behind and the Goddess, a woman that even tough was in a high position, was feeling pity for Shaka, so great was the pain he might be feeling.

XoOoX

The days flew by on that beggining of March . Camus had returned from Japan, when he had a bureaucratic job for the Kido institute and one more meeting was about to take place.

Shaka had his small luggage ready. The day of his trip was not yet decided, but only Athena would be told about the date of his departure and, of course, at the very day.

The meeting went on perfectly, only some information regarding the Sanctuary was discussed, and issues about future pupils. Camus knew that he would have to train Hyoga some more so that he could give him the Aquarius armor one day. Aioria explained that, since he is Aioros' brother, he should be the one supervising Seya's training so that he could receive the Sagitarius armor. Dohko, who was in his young form, thought about passing his armor directly to Shiryu, his long-time pupil. Shaka didn't speak about the training of his best pupil. He knew already who should inherit the armor of Virgo. The young Shun was the purest one for this choice, but he couldn't worry about that now.

Shaka raised his head when he heard his name to look at Aphrodite who was about to ask about this topic.

"Shaka, are you going to train the young Shun? If you don't, I believe he could be my pupil and future Pisces knight". He starde Shaka waiting for an answer.

The knight of Virgo frowned before answering his partner. "I intend to train him for the Sixth House post, but I can't do it right now. If you wish you can treat him as a pupil, but also we have to talk to the knght of Andromeda to know which Zodiacal House he is interested in". He was calm; serious, but calm. He couldn't behave in any other way, because beside Pisces was Aries.

"Humm, you say that while you don't train him I can take care of him and start training him?" Aphrodite thought it all was very strange. Since when did Shaka not accomplish his obligations?

"Yes, if that's the way you wish to put things". It was not necessary to have his eyes open to see that Mu was looking at him with curiosity.

"Well, about pupils and training we can talk about in another occasion. I now declare that the meeting is over. You may return to your Houses". Athena finished, not allowing any more questions about Shaka's pupil that now belonged to Aphrodite.

Everybody stood up and left the room. Only Aphrodite remained there, waiting for Shaka to approach him.

"Shaka, why are you going to leave Shun in my hands?" He was too curious and he knew that it was not like his friend to pass on responsibilities.

Shaka sighed and opened his eyes to look at Aphrodite. "You know very well that I am in no condition to train anybody, Aphrodite". I am no longer able to focus on my business, imagine training someone with calm and tranquility". They were alone in the room, so they could only speak that way.

"I understand, if that's it, I can take care of him for you, but be careful, because I might steal him". He joked to try to relieve his friend's tension.

"I know, but he would also be in good hands if he chose to be your pupil". He simply smiled.

"Oh, sure, besides the lessons on fashion, perfumes, caring about his beautiful skin and I'd also teach him how to take care of my garden with perfection". He said laughing while Shaka made a funny face when he imagined such scene.

Both left the room talking. Actually, Aphrodite spoke for the two of them, Shaka merely listened to it all.

XoOoX

The First House was running against time. Kiki had informed Mu that Mireia was in labor and that the Aries should be preparing to go to the house in the village. Mu was running from one side to the other worried about forgiving any detail. They were still in the first deaconate of Aries, the first day had just passed by. In fact, the day of birth was not calculated, only the month that would make the child be born between the first and the third deaconate under the constellation of Aries. And today was March 23rd, morning time. The day in which would really become a father.

Kiki laughed at Mu who was all overwhelmed by that situation. "Master Mu, use your telecynesis to put things together. We can't take too long, you were supposed to be there since the very beginning". He was calm seeing that Mu accepted his suggestion in order to speed things up. It didn't take long and everything was ready and the two of them used their gifts to get to the house quickly.

During the whole time, Aries stayed by Mireia's side, doing everything that was possible. Only Mu could stay in the room while the child was not ready yet to be born. Their hands met on Mireia's womb following the Lemurian ritual, the same thing he had done during all these months.

When he felt the time was coming, Aries called the serves to help him. Mu did the whole delivery, while the serves only cleaned everything and gave him cloths and other objects.

He was there. On Áries' arms. His little treasure, his little Amal. So white, so little, serene with his wrinkled skin. He was a copy of Mu. The dots on his forehead had a tone not yet defined, the hands closed and small, his hair… Oh yes, his hair… There wasn't much of it, but it could be seen that he would be just like his father. But Amal's hair was dark, as dark as his mother's.

Mu hugged his son with so much tenderness and started sobbing. His tears were a mist of happiness and sadness. The happiness was obvious, but the sadness was because he couldn't stop thinking about Shaka. He stood back a little bit, looking at the tired face of Mireia who was being taken care of by the serves. He approached the woman and showed her their son proudly. Mireia smiled stretching his arm to receive her child. They were happy. Mireia was happy.

Outside the room were Aphrodite, Aldebaran, Milo, Aioria and even Camus. All of them were eager and curious, because they didn't hear the baby crying. When one of the serves left the room, she was stopped by the knights and they asked her about the baby. When she confirmed that he had indeed been born, all the knights smiled, relieved.

Mu didn't take long to leave the room carrying his son wrapped in a dark blue mantle. Aphrodite was the first one to stand up and take a look and all of the others followed.

The House was in happiness. Shura joined the group later on, but what he had to say was nothing to be said in front of Aries at that moment. He pulled Camus to a corner while all of them were distracted by the Knight of Aries' son.

"Camus, I must tell you something. I've just come from the throne room". He spoke in a low tone of voice, looking at the other knights tactfully and noticing that Camus was paying attention. "I went to the House of Virgo to see how Shaka was doing, as I always do, but when I got there I found the House completely empty and the rooms were all closed. So, I decided to go to the throne room to see if he was there and… Well, he wans't. When I asked Athena she told me that Shaka left the Sanctuary yesterday night for a trip and that he had no date to come back". Shura saw that Camus' expression changed and looked at the direction where his eyes were aiming, finding Mu very close to them, holding his child on his arms. In the face where before was a smile, now was deep sadness.

"He went away?" Was the only question made by Mu.

To be continued...


I thank the comment Aerol in the previous chapter.

Here are two notes about this chapter. The first one is long. Unfortunatelly I can't suppress any part or it will lose all the meaning. If you become interested in knowing about the mantra, the explanation is also below.

Nota ¹: The mantra OM MANI PADME HUM:You must think about its meaning, because the meaning of the six syllables is very vast. The first, OM is composed by three letters, A, U and M. They symbolize the impure body, words and mind of the one who says it, they also mean the pure body, words and mind of budha. Impure body, words and mind can be transformed into pure body, words and mind or are they separated completely? All the Budas are people that once were like us, but because of the faith they have in their believes they become beings of light; Buddhism doesn't accept the theory that there are beings who were born flawless and have, therefore, always been holy. The development of pure body, words and mind happens gradually, so that the impure beings can become pure. How is that done? The way is explained by the following four syllables. MANI, that means jewel, it symbolizes the method – the altruist intention of becoming enlightened, compassionate and loving. The same way as a jewel is capable of removing poverty or the difficulties of the cyclical existence and lonely peace. The same way as the jewel makes the wishes of people come true, the altruist intention of becoming enlightened can also make wishes come true. The two syllables PADME that means lotus, symbolizes knowledge. The same way the lotus flower grows from mud, but it doesn't get dirty due to this fact, knowledge is capable of putting oneself in a non contradictory position, on the other hand, if one didn't have knowledge than it would be a contradictory situation. There's knowledge that can sense people are hollow, self-sufficient or substantially existent, this knowledge can sense the hollowness of duality – which means the difference of the entity between subject and object – and knowledge that can sense the hollowness of the inherent existence. Therefore, there are several different types of knowledge and the main one is the one that can sense the hollowness. Purity must be achieved by an indivisible unity of method and knowledge, symbolized by the final syllable HUM, which indicates indivisibility. According to the sutra system, this indivisibility of method and knowledge refers to the knowledge being affected by the method and by the method being affected by the knowledge. In the mantra vehicle, it refers to the single conscience which contains the complete form of both of them, knowledge and method, as and undistinguishing entity. About the syllables of the five Buda conquerors, HUM is the syllable belonging to Akshobv – the one that doesn't move and doesn't vacillate, the one that can't be disturbed by anything. That way, the six syllables: OM MANI PADME HUM mean that by trusting the practice of a way which is and indivisible unionof method and knowledge, one can transform his impure mind, word and body into pure mind, word and body of a Budha. It's said that one shouldn't look for Budato outside of oneself, the substances for the acquisition of the Budato are inside oneself. As Maitreya says in his Sublime Continuum of the Grand Vehicle (Uttaratantra), all the beings naturally possess the Buda nature inside their own continuum. We have inside us the seed of purity, the essence of an Assim Partiu (Tathagatagarbha), which can be transformed and totally developed into Budato.
Pray composed by S.S. Tenzin Gyatso, the XIV Dalai Lama

Nota ²: Mudras – The Mudras are postures made by the hands used in Ioga, dance and in sacred images of Buddhism to awaken and harmonize the energetic centers of the body. Used in the buddhist iconography and in Vajravana, filled with symbolism and beauty, these gestures create a conexion between the practioneer and the energy of the Budha who is called by the mantras. They can be practiced anytime, bringing calm and concentration to your life. Dhyana Mudra – Meditation gesture – the nervous canal associated with the enlightment mind (Bodhichitta) goes through the thumbs. That way, joining both thumbs in this posture, with the right hand over the left hand, it's a significative sign to the future development of the enlightened mind. Associated with the meditation of Budha Shakyamuni and the Dhyani-Buddha Amitabha.

Texts from: The Great White Fraternity; 21 TARAS and Dalai Lama teachings.


Kisses

Litha-chan