Heaven and Hell

I once took a walk down where I used to live. Rukongai, district 78. It's a lonely place now like it always was, the people, normally rough and tumble, robberies, murders. All sorts of things taking place, but with the mere sight of a Shinigami, namely a seated shinigami. They all hide like they were kittens. But I know once I leave, they'll be back at it again. But I still love it here.

Is there really something wrong with living here? What if you're just an innocent konpaku who has the misfortune to live here? Does it really make you a bade person? Some would who used to live here would compare it to heaven and hell. But I don't know, is this really hell? I love it here. This is where I met a dear friend of mine. To me, being a shinigami inside the walls is like hell. Living with rules forced upon you, having to do what is told, lest you be killed. You get your meals when needed, you get a place to rest and recuperate. But it's all too pampered, for a someone like myself, where do I really belong?

Sometimes I find myself just sitting on the outskirts of district 78 watching everything happen. It reminds me of my youth, when everyday was a struggle for survival. Our friends died here, but yet I still cannot tear myself away from here. This is where I born in my opinion, I never remembered my early childhood as a human-being, but I think this was fate that brought me here. And from that I became a Shinigami. And I met the most wonderful people in my life.

I neither want to live in heaven nor hell, I want to exist in a place where I can move about my own free will. Do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. That's what I envy Ichigo for. He lives as a human, yet he still finds time to work, he isn't controlled by the rules of the Soul Society, nor does he have to abide by every human law and mandate that comes into passing. I want to live like Ichigo does.

I want to live how he lives, where he lives. In neither heaven nor hell.