CHAPTER FIVE: CHARMS AND PROMISES
The four adults went into the cottage, Lily holding Harry tightly in her arms. As they went inside she looked around, taking in her surroundings. 'Well, it could definitely do with some cleaning, but other than that, it looks like we've never been away' she said, feeling happier now they were inside. James laughed softly. 'You always were house proud love, but let's just get the charm done and get ourselves sorted out before you start getting the dusters out…though God knows, it needs it' he said, as they went into the living room and found a layer of dust on all the furniture. Lily smiled sweetly; 'Who said anything about me getting the dusters out James?' she raised her eyebrows as she spoke. James exchanged a knowing look with Sirius. 'Mate, rescue me from this woman! She's going to make me clean!' He laughed. Lily shook her head, 'On second thoughts, I'll do it myself, I want it done properly thank you!' James's mouth dropped open, 'Are you implying my beloved that I can't cope with a simple thing like a bit of housework?' James's eyes were sparkling as he continued to joke with Lily. He felt as if they were suddenly back to normal. Lily grinned at him, 'Yes James, I am telling you that you can't cope with housework, at least not without your wand…and it's more than a bit!'
James shook his head as Lily managed to have the last word, and Sirius laughed loudly. 'Look you two, you can decide who's doing the chores later.' he beamed at Lily suddenly, 'Make Prongs do it Lils, I'd love to see him in an apron!' James glared at Sirius. 'You were supposed to be on my side!' he groaned. Sirius's eyes widened. 'What, and have Lily hex me, no way pal!'
After a while the group became quiet. Only Harry's baby talk broke the atmosphere. Lily got out her wand. 'It's time we did the charm isn't it?' she said, becoming solemn. James nodded. 'Yes, let's get it done, and then it's over with'. His eyes met Peter Pettigrew's. All the time they had been in the house Peter had hardly spoken. He flushed now as James watched him fixedly. 'You are still all right with this aren't you Pete? You don't want to back out or anything?' Pettigrew shook his head determinedly, flushing even more as every eye in the room focused on him. A whimper from Harry made Lily pass him to James. He held the baby close as Lily prepared to carry out the Fidelius Charm. Sirius suddenly coughed, 'I can go if you like, while you do the charm'. James shook his head. 'No, stay, I want you to see this, please'. Sirius nodded, 'OK, I'll stay until it's done and then I'll make sure Wormtail gets into hiding safely. I'll check on you every evening Pete, OK?' he asked, as Lily, James with Harry in his arms and Pettigrew formed a circle. Pettigrew nodded, 'OK, that's fine Padfoot' he said quickly.
Lily Potter now stood beside James on the one side of her, and Pettigrew on the other. 'OK, here we go' she sounded nervous. She glanced at James, her eyes wide. 'It's OK love, you can do this, you know you can, piece of cake!' James assured her, smiling confidently. Lily nodded, 'Sure….piece of cake' she echoed, trying not to shake with nerves.
Lily took a deep breath and then raised her wand. She pointed it towards the centre of the circle she had formed with the other two. She focused her mind and a few moments later a white light seemed to flow from the tip of her wand, faintly at first and then brighter. It illuminated the room and James covered Harry's eyes against the light. Lily spoke when the light was at its brightest. 'OK, now you two have to join the tips of your wands with mine'. James held Harry in one arm, and with the other he reached for his wand. Pettigrew did the same and then they both reached out and touched the tip of Lily's wand. When the wands were joined, Lily raised hers above her head, taking the other two along with her. The light from Lily's wand became even brighter for a moment, before it seemed to form a shape. Lily began to shake a little as she struggled to concentrate on what she was doing and on holding her wand above her head.
The light from the wand formed a thread, which moved of its own accord. The thread of light shifted above the circle before it went outside the three adults. It moved slowly, forming a ring around the group, seeming to drag them closer together. They were now so close their noses would've touched if Pettigrew had been taller. The thread of light seemed to wrap around the three adults and Harry, where it glowed vividly, the colour changing from white to blue. As the light glowed, a ray seemed to separate and touch Peter Pettigrew's lips.
A few moments later the light began to fade and Lily dropped her wand. 'That's it, we've done it, we're bound by the charm and the secret is concealed, now only our Secret Keeper can reveal where we are' she sighed, wobbling slightly on her feet from the effort she had made to carry out the charm. She suddenly swayed dramatically and James tried to grab her while Harry was in his arms, but Sirius, who had been stood out of the way, moved quickly and caught her before she could fall. 'That's right, you've done it Lils. Now you need to sit down for a bit….that was amazing, absolutely bloody amazing!' he cried in admiration as he helped a worn out Lily to a chair.
'I'm OK…I'll be fine…in just a minute' Lily said, as James moved and came and sat down beside her, handing Harry to Sirius and slipping an arm protectively around his wife. 'You were brilliant love, absolutely brilliant' James sighed as he hugged Lily closer. Lily was pale and leaned on James for support. The effort she had made had exhausted her.
When Lily had recovered Sirius and Pettigrew rose. James stood as his friends were about to leave. He looked at Pettigrew and smiled. 'Thanks for this Wormtail, it's great of you to do this for us, we know you won't let us down.' Pettigrew smiled and squeaked an eager response. 'No, I promise, I won't let you down, you're my friends. I wouldn't let you down, not for anything'. Sirius rested a hand on Pettigrew's shoulder. 'You go on ahead Wormtail. I want a quick word with Prongs and Lily and then I'll come and make sure you've got to your hideout OK'. Pettigrew nodded and then with one last smile at James and Lily he was gone.
Sirius indicated towards the door and James followed him out, passing Harry to Lily who now looked much better. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair and squeezed Lily's hand affectionately as he left the room. When the men were at the door Sirius beamed at his best friend. 'You know, when we were at school I sometimes wondered about Lily, what you saw in her and all that….but now….well that was just amazing. You went and married a marvel mate, a real marvel!' James grinned proudly. 'I know I did! She's fantastic isn't she?' Then Sirius's eyes became soft. 'I just wish I could've done something….I wish I'd been able to be your Secret Keeper…but I just couldn't'. James sighed heavily. 'Look, I've told you, stop worrying about that! You had your reasons, and Lily and I understand. Look, I know what I said earlier, but I know now, we've done the right thing. Wormtail will be OK, and he won't let us down. We'll be fine, so stop worrying'.
Sirius moved closer to the door but turned back to look at James seriously. 'Just remember, if you need anything, you've got the mirror. Just yell and I'll be here. I'll come round and check on you every day, but don't worry if you need anything in between times. I'll be here, any time, day or night'. James and Sirius patted each other on the back reassuringly and then Sirius was gone.
James and Lily spent the rest of the day adjusting to being back in their own home. They cleaned the layer of dust that seemed to cover everything and they polished and scrubbed until the house was spotless. James asked more than once why they were doing the work without magic, but as he did, Lily became strangely light-headed again. When James took her into his arms to see if she was all right, she grinned at him wickedly saying, 'I'm fine Potter, now get back to work!' James glared before resuming his work and pulling faces at Harry who was sitting in the corner of the sofa, leaning against the one arm, and being supported by a couple of cushions. 'Your Mum's a slave driver son, a slave driver' James whispered to Harry conspiratorially. The baby chuckled happily at his father and put a fist in his mouth.
By the time the house was clean again and James and Lily had eaten and the baby had been fed, it was becoming dark. Harry had dozed off on the sofa and was sleeping peacefully. 'I think someone needs to go to bed' Lily sighed, gently picking up Harry so as not to disturb him. 'It's late, the poor little mite must be exhausted' she said gently. James yawned and then grinned, 'I am, but it's worth it for you love'. Lily rolled her eyes, 'James, I meant the baby! You are not, and have never been a poor little mite!' 'Let's get him to bed then, I want to talk to you before we go up.' James was suddenly solemn. Lily looked at him suspiciously, but she decided not to push until Harry was settled. They both took the baby to his nursery and got him ready for bed.
James looked around the room he had painted well over a year before. He looked at the painting he had done, the blue walls with stars individually painted on the ceiling, charmed so that they twinkled at night. James smiled as he looked closer and found some of the stars were actually golden snitches he had worked into the design without Lily realising. From the ceiling above Harry's cot hung a mobile which spun gently by magic. The mobile contained little figures of Quidditch players on brooms and it had been the very first gift James had given his son. 'Do you remember when we did this room before we had him?' he whispered softly. Lily smiled tenderly as she carried on tucking her sleeping son into his cot. 'I remember you complaining at having to paint it the Muggle way'. James looked at the blue walls in front of him and grinned. 'Well I was right, it would have been quicker to do it magically…..but I didn't moan half as much as Padfoot when we put the furniture in!' Lily laughed quietly. 'Actually I almost felt sorry for you and Sirius that day. I was a pain, making you move stuff over and over…it's just as well you both love Harry and you are crazy about me'. The last part of her sentence came out so softly Lily thought James might not have heard it, so she was taken aback when he turned and clasped her in his arms. 'Yes Mrs Potter, I am crazy about you, and don't you ever forget it!' Lily held James close and placed her hand in the hair at the nape of his neck. 'I love you too James, so much' she sighed. They left the nursery, James waving his wand to create a gentle nightlight in the room to comfort Harry if he woke in the night.
James and Lily went back downstairs and sat in the living room by the fire. They both flopped down on the rug in front of the fire, enjoying its light and warmth. James suddenly clasped Lily's hands in his and gazed into her eyes. 'Lily, I need to talk to you' he said quietly. Lily felt anxious all of a sudden, for a reason she couldn't understand. 'What is it James, is there something wrong?' she asked, trying not to panic. James gripped her hands in his, and moved so he was sitting directly in front of her. They sat sideways to the fire. 'No love, there's nothing wrong. I just need to talk to you about something…something important'. Lily nodded and indicated for him to go on.
James swallowed, he had thought this over in his mind, and now he knew it had to be said. But he wished he knew how Lily would react. He cleared his throat and then began. 'Lily….love, I need you to promise me something'. Lily's eyes met her husband's and she gripped his hands tighter. 'What, what is it?' she asked anxiously. James swallowed hard again. 'Lily I want you to promise me….' he hesitated just for a second. Lily's eyes widened fearfully. 'James, whatever it is, just say it, please!' she implored. James took a deep breath and steadied himself. 'Lily I want you to promise me that if Voldemort comes, if he ever finds us, you'll take Harry and go. I want you to promise that whatever happens, you won't hang around for me. Promise you'll take Harry and get out. You can go to Sirius and from there he'll take you to Dumble'…'
James voice was cut off as Lily yanked her hands from his and clamped them over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. Then he shuddered as she found her voice. 'You said we'd be safe James! Why are you saying this to me now? You said we'll be fine, you promised me!' Lily was nearly in tears. James sighed deeply. 'We will be safe Lily, we will be fine' he spoke reasonably, trying to calm her. 'I'm just saying this so we both know what we're doing if the worst happens'. Then he stared intently into Lily's eyes. 'I mean it Lily, if it happens, I don't want you to worry about me, I want you to take Harry and get out'.
Lily stared at James as his words sank in. Then a wave of horror hit her as she realised what he meant. He was asking her to take their son to safety while he fought Voldemort and probably died, all alone. She shook her head defiantly. 'No! Absolutely definitely no!' she cried, hardly able to contain herself. 'No, I'll never leave you to that! You can't ask me to do that James! I won't let you ask me to leave you alone to deal with Voldemort! I won't let you die by yourself James, so don't ever ask me to do that again!' Lily's voice was rising almost hysterically. Tears started to flow from her eyes. 'I promised you once James, I would never leave you, remember? When we argued over Remus, you made me promise I'd never leave you, or find someone else, and I promised, because I love you and I'd never leave! Now you're telling me that if Voldemort comes I've got to go! I've got to leave you to die, to be killed by that monster! No chance, never ever in a million years, I won't James, not ever!' Lily glared at him madly, looking furious, her eyes glowing with pain and fear.
James Potter closed his eyes. He shivered as Lily's feelings washed over him. He had expected this to be hard, but it was even worse than he imagined. Nothing could have prepared him for Lily's anger or the pained look in her eyes. He took another steadying breath and started again. 'Lily, please, just listen, just try to understand what I…' He was interrupted by Lily again. 'I said no James! I mean it! No, you can't make me do it, so I won't, not now, not ever!' Her tears were falling down her face like rain.
James hated having to hurt Lily like this, but he knew he had no choice if he was to keep her and their son safe. He reached out and placed his hands on her cheeks tenderly. He looked into her eyes, the beautiful, expressive green eyes he loved so much. Lily stopped yelling and stared at him, while her tears continued to fall. James sighed deeply. 'Lily I'm sorry. I swear, I never meant to hurt you like this, but you have to try to understand. If Voldemort comes…' Lily went to speak again, but James silenced her with a look. 'If Voldemort comes, he'll be after Harry, not us really. Harry will need you to get him out, to take care of him. He's a baby Lily. We have to put him first. I'll stay back and deal with Voldemort and then I promise I'll be right behind you. We can meet up at Sirius's place and then we'll go to Hogwarts. Dumbledore will help us'.
Lily continued to study her husband's features. She could see the worry in his hazel eyes, but her fear was overwhelming. 'But what if you don't get out?' She never took her eyes off James as she spoke. Lily's heart was racing so fast she felt sick. 'Look, if anything happens to me, you know you'll be fine, there's plenty of money in our vault. Dumbledore and Sirius will help you with Harry and things. You'll have everything you need, I've made certain of that'. James tried to sound confident and controlled. He wanted to show her he had thought of everything.
Now Lily became really angry. 'How dare you talk as if you've decided this and that's it, you make it sound like some hair-brained prank you've plotted with Sirius! How dare you tell me I'll be fine because I'll have money, I don't want money James, I want you! How dare you sit there and tell me Sirius and Dumbledore will help me with Harry! It's your place to help me with Harry, yours!' Lily felt her panic rising out of control. 'I won't let you die and leave me James, I won't!' She glared at James wildly.
Suddenly Lily felt James let go of her cheeks that he'd held between his hands all this time. He pulled her into his arms and held her. Lily could feel his heart racing as much as her own. 'Lily, you know I'd never hurt you like this deliberately, you know I love you! Just think about it from my point of view! Lily you can't expect me to be able to fight Voldemort if I'm worried about you! You know I'd never be able to do it. I'll concentrate better if I know you and the baby are safe. If you go you'll be helping me Lily, not leaving me!' James voice rose urgently. 'Besides, if I died, you know you'd live without me, you know you'd be strong enough to focus on Harry and get on with your life….'
Lily shook her head against him as he held her. She clung to him fiercely, pleading with him. 'No, I wouldn't! James, please! I couldn't live without you, please!' she begged. James held her closer. 'Lily you'd live! You know you'd live, because you'd have Harry to think of. I know if I lost you, I'd give up, I'd want to die, but you….Lily you would concentrate on Harry. You're stronger than me, you always have been. You'd focus on Harry and you'd live!'
Lily pulled out of James's arms and saw the earnest look on his face. She could see how sure he was of her. She could see he believed in her ability to look after their son, alone, if need be. She knew now that he trusted her to do as he asked, to put Harry first and keep him safe, whatever that involved. Lily knew now what she had to do. She clasped James's hands tightly, trying to hold back the waves of panic she felt. 'All right….if it happens, I promise…I'll take Harry and go. But it won't happen. We'll be fine, won't we?' she faced him expectantly. James heaved a sigh of relief. 'Of course we'll be fine, but now I know you and Harry will be OK, it'll be easier for me. I love you Lily' and he pulled her back into his arms, holding her as tightly as he could and quietly wished he could keep her there forever.
