CHAPTER SIX: MOTORBIKES AND MEMORIES
James and Lily went to bed and hardly slept. Lily kept waking all night, making sure James was still beside her. James held her close all night, but Lily couldn't shift the cold feeling that seemed to be pervading her entire body. James had effectively said he would sacrifice his life for her and Harry and she could hardly bear it.
Lily realised what he had said was true. If Voldemort turned up at the cottage, he would be after Harry, and they would have to do everything they could to protect him. But the thought of leaving James alone to fight frightened Lily beyond anything she had ever known. The thought of living in a world without James in it terrified her. She realised she could be practical and fiercely independent at times, preferring to do things herself rather than ask for help, even from James, but she had come to realise since they became a couple, then married and had Harry, she needed James like she had never needed anyone else before.
Memories of the early days of her relationship with James flooded her mind. She remembered how they had fought at school, or rather, she had fought with him. She thought of how he had pestered her and followed her around, constantly asking her out and making a nuisance of himself; showing off and pranking people with the other Marauders. She remembered their 7th year when they were Head Boy and Girl and she yelled at him one day for a simple mistake he'd made in Potions. He yelled back and admitted he loved her. Lily had been stunned. She firmly believed that all his following and pestering and elaborate declarations of his feelings was just his idea of fun, it had never occurred to her that he could mean it. The truth of the matter knocked Lily sideways, and made her realise she had feelings for him too. However, James followed this by going on patrol with her that night and telling her he would be leaving her alone in future.
Within weeks, James's parents were murdered and he suffered terribly. After a few weeks, Sirius begged Lily to go and see his best friend, who was lying in the hospital wing, refusing to eat or sleep and hardly saying a word to anyone. Lily plucked up the courage to go. From then on, Lily and James became friends, and then much more. They married a year after leaving school and then Harry was born within another year.
Lily watched James sleep and realised that somewhere along the line, at some point in their relationship, she had grown dependent on him. He could still be arrogant at times, a trait from his youth, but he could also be incredibly kind. He would do anything for her or for Harry, and never question it. He was loyal and fiercely protective of anyone he cared about. Lily remembered the times when they had confronted Voldemort already and James had stepped in front of her, taking as much punishment as Voldemort could give. He had taken the Cruciatus Curse more than once, refusing to back down, for fear that if he did, Lily would be hurt. He was equally protective of Harry when he was born.
Lily felt the tears come into the back of her throat as she remembered one of the many times James jumped in to make sure she was safe, before Harry was born. James was surrounded by Deatheaters and then Voldemort appeared, demanding they turn over to the Dark. James refused, and then the torture had begun. Lily could still see James being tormented with pain, a pain, he said later, worse than anything he had ever felt before. His body tightened and curled in the agony of it, but he refused to scream. He defiantly kept his mouth tightly closed, only the occasional moan indicating his agony. Voldemort only backed down when James collapsed, gasping for air. When he found the strength to speak, he uttered one word 'LILY!' and then he fainted. Voldemort cast Lily a scathing look before laughing viciously and running away, leaving a heavily pregnant Lily to get James to safety.
Lily managed to get James to St Mungo's and they said that it was a miracle he was still alive, he had been repeatedly attacked by the Cruciatus Curse for over an hour, most people would've either gone mad, or died as a result. Later, Lily wept in his arms. James held her close and wiped away her tears. 'Don't cry, I'm all right' he soothed. 'Don't cry love, we'll be all right. I won't let anything happen to us, I'd die for you Lily. I'd die to keep you safe'. At the time his words were a comfort to Lily, they made her feel loved and protected, but now they frightened her. She never thought for one minute that when James promised he'd die for her, he would ever really be prepared to do it, or have reason to.
Back in the present, James stirred and opened his eyes. He looked at Lily as she sat watching him. 'Did you manage to get any sleep love?' he asked; a concerned expression in his hazel eyes. Lily nodded and smiled softly to reassure him. 'A bit, yes, don't worry about me, I'll be fine'. James sighed sadly. 'You know I didn't mean to upset you last night, don't you?' Lily nodded, 'I know, but how could I not be upset? You were asking me to let you….'
Lily's voice broke off at a sudden sound from outside, a roar that startled them both. Without even thinking about it, James leapt out of bed, grabbing his glasses and putting them on before going to the bedroom window and dragging a curtain open.
James Potter looked out of the bedroom window, his heart thumping. 'Pass me my wand love' he asked, reaching out. Lily passed it to him with trembling hands. She stood now, in a dressing gown and came behind James as he stood in his boxer shorts, staring out of the window. Suddenly he started to laugh loudly, his laughter clearly audible against the roaring sound outside. 'Bloody hell, what has he done, the idiot! We leave him alone and he does this, he's barking mad, completely barking mad!' Then he stood away from the window and grinned, 'Lily you have to see this! Our best friend has finally gone mental!' Lily shook her head, 'What's Sirius done now?' she asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow. James just laughed and pointed outside.
Lily looked out of the bedroom window and gasped. Outside, flying around on the thing that was roaring was Sirius Black! Lily had seen flying on brooms before, and had done it often enough now with James. She hated flying alone, but James was an expert flyer, and he loved it. But what Sirius was flying on was definitely not a broom. She focused her eyes and could see it was a shiny black thing with two wheels. She gasped in amazement. 'My God, he's bought a bloody motorbike! He's got a flying motorbike!'
When Lily turned away from the window she could see James was dressed and grinning. Then he suddenly charged out of the room and down the stairs, Lily chasing after him. 'James, what are you doing, where are you going?' she demanded. James appeared to have gone deaf. He charged down the stairs and yanked the front door open. The roaring sound of the motorbike stopped abruptly as Sirius landed. James went over to him, Lily not far behind. She pulled her dressing gown around herself against the cool October air.
James reached his friend and laughed. 'What in the world have you done you madman!' Sirius laughed, the sound similar to a dog barking. 'Do you like it?' he grinned, casting Lily an innocent look as she frowned. She had a feeling she knew what was coming. Sirius beamed, continuing to talk to James. 'Well, I saw it in a Muggle shop and I've been tinkering with it a bit. It flies brilliantly mate, fancy a ride?'
James appeared to wobble on his feet for a second. Lily rolled her eyes sardonically as her husband's eyes misted over. He stared, exchanging a look with Sirius, who continued to grin, and then cast a longing look at the flying motorbike. Lily rolled her eyes again when she realised he was actually drooling with excitement. Then James looked more solemn. He smiled gently at Sirius, though the longing look was still in his eyes. 'No, it's a great thought, but I'd better not. We ought to get back in the house to Harry, all this racket will have woken him up'. He turned to Lily and smiled sadly. 'Come on, let's all get in. We'll get Harry up and have some breakfast'. Lily rolled her eyes yet again, 'James, do you want a ride on Sirius's…motorbike?' James stared at her inanely for a moment. 'You mean….you….you'd let me….?' He could hardly get his words out. Lily groaned, 'Oh for goodness sake! Just get on the bloody thing and go! You know you want to, so just go!'
James grinned madly and pulled Lily into his arms. 'Thanks love, you're fantastic!' he cried. He climbed on the back of the motorbike quickly before Lily could change her mind. Lily warned Sirius with a look. 'Just be careful Black, I'm warning you! You crash that thing and get him hurt, I'll hex you to hell and back!' Sirius winced, he knew Lily meant it. 'Don't worry Lils. I'll watch out for him, just relax!' he said casually. Before Lily could say any more the roaring sound was coming from the bike again and the two men were in the air, James yelling in excitement.
'They're more immature than the baby' Lily smiled to herself, and then she turned to go back inside the house to get Harry up.
When James and Sirius came back from their flight, James could hardly contain his excitement. He spent the rest of the day telling Lily how fantastic the motorbike was and how great it felt to be flying again, even if it hadn't been on a broom. 'Just as long as you don't decide you want one of those horrible things, the Muggle motorbikes are lethal enough, but a flying one…..my nerves couldn't stand it, so don't you get any ideas!' Lily glared. She had been worried all the time James was out. She tried to reason with herself, she knew the charm was in place and even if they had been seen, it would still need Peter Pettigrew to break his promise not to tell Voldemort where they were, but even so, Lily couldn't help the uneasiness she felt when James was out. She felt weak with relief when he arrived back, excited and grinning. James beamed, 'No, I enjoyed the ride, but I think I prefer my broom…maybe I should take that for a spin some time eh?' Lily frowned, 'Well if you do, you be careful, I couldn't stand it if…..' and then her voice broke and she burst into tears.
James moved immediately and clasped Lily in his arms. 'Hey, now come on, what's all this for?' he asked softly. 'If you don't want me to fly again for a bit, I won't, so what are all these tears about?' He pulled Lily away a little and gazed lovingly into her eyes as he wiped her tears away. 'God love, you don't have to cry like this just because I went on a flying motorbike, honestly you'd think I'd just been entered into the Trizwizard Tournament or something!' He pulled a face and Lily laughed quietly, tears still in her eyes. 'It….it wasn't just that. I'm just scared James, scared of something happening to you, or to Harry. James if I lost you I….' Lily's face crumpled again, her eyes filling with emotion.
James quickly pulled Lily back into his arms. 'Look, when we spoke last night, I was just trying to make sure we have a plan, just in case the worst happens. But it won't Lily, you won't lose me'. Then he flashed her a dazzling smile, 'It'd take more than a flying motorbike or Voldemort to finish me! I mean, come on woman, I'm a Potter!'
Harry was propped up in the corner of the sofa while Lily and James held each other. As his father finished speaking, the baby suddenly opened his mouth and blew a loud raspberry. Lily turned her face towards him and burst out laughing. 'I think our son has just voiced his opinion on your Mr. Invincible Potter theory!' she laughed. James shook his head resignedly and moved and picked up Harry, who chuckled at the attention he was receiving. 'It's great to know my family has such great faith in me' James sighed ironically, before grinning again and pulling his laughing wife back into his arms.
That evening Lily and James were curled up by the fire in the living room. James had settled Harry in the nursery and the two were now on the rug by the fire, enjoying the peace and quiet. James suddenly broke out into a wide smile. 'Thanks for letting me go out with Sirius on the bike today' gratitude shone from his eyes. Lily shook her head. 'That's OK, I was worried when you were out, but I know the charm's in place, and we'll be fine. The thing is we have to accept that if we don't do normal things now we're home, there was no point to us coming back. We might as well still be stuck in that vile flat if we're still going to act as if we're on the run, mightn't we?' James nodded happily. 'Yes, it's just a case of not taking any stupid risks, that's all'.
Lily suddenly stared into the fire. Her face took on a dreamy expression. 'Go on then, what are you thinking about?' James asked inquisitively. He knew Lily when she looked like this. Lily sighed reminiscently. Oh, it's nothing really. I was just remembering today how we first got together. Do you remember that night at Hogwarts when you took me flying?' Now it was James's turn to look dreamy. He smiled nostalgically at the memory. 'Of course I remember! How could I ever forget! I couldn't believe it when you said you'd go with me. I tell you Lily, I was scared half to death that night!' Lily's eyes widened in surprise, 'You, scared to death of flying? You have to be joking!' She eyed James incredulously, she knew he loved flying. James shrugged, 'OK, not so much scared of flying, but scared of flying with you! God Lily, you have no idea, there was me, and let's face it, you'd turned me down loads of times when I asked you out before, and then you suddenly said you'd go flying with me. I was scared I'd get nervous and crash the broom, and you'd think I'd done it deliberately just to scare you, and we would've been arguing again'.
Lily's eyes shone brightly. She had never known their first flight together had been such an ordeal for her husband. She smiled at him fondly. 'We wouldn't have ended up arguing James…..by that time you could've pushed me off the Astronomy Tower and I would've thanked you for it'. James stared at Lily disbelievingly. Lily just nodded again, 'It's absolutely true….I told you, I'd….' she felt shy for a moment, before she went on, 'I'd been in love with you for ages before we ever went flying…in fact, I wanted you to kiss me that night, but you went and insisted we go back inside the castle!' James jaw dropped open. 'You wanted me to kiss you that night, really?' Lily nodded and James groaned heatedly, 'Damn! I could've been all romantic and kissed you under the stars, what a total prat!' Lily giggled, 'Well, I won't argue with that, but you made up for it, eventually!' James looked suddenly wicked. 'Actually I think you'll find you kissed me first, and I believe you told me I'm amazing…am I still amazing Lily? Am I!' and he nudged her playfully. Lily blushed softly at her memories. 'Well, I needed to push you along didn't I? You'd gone into your 'we're just good friends' mode, and I wanted….a bit more than that….I thought you'd gone off me or something'.
James was suddenly serious. 'I never went off you Lily; I would never have gone off you. I just didn't want you to think I was using you, pushing myself forward to take advantage of you, I mean, you were absolutely brilliant after Mum and Dad died, when you came to see me and everything'. Lily felt suddenly sad, 'James, I didn't really mean to make you rake over all that again, I'm….' James shook his head and smiled tenderly, 'No, it's all right, really. Oh, I still miss them, I always will, but somehow, they don't seem quite so far away any more. I just wish they'd had the chance to meet you and see Harry. My Mum would've loved him to death'.
Lily blinked back the tears forming in the corners of her eyes as she thought of her own parents. 'I know; my Mum and Dad would've spoiled him rotten! I wish they'd seen him, but at least they got a chance to see us married. They really liked you James, they knew you'd be good for me'. James took Lily's hand in his, 'I still can't believe how well you coped when your Mum and Dad were killed. I still can't understand how that sister of yours could've laid them to rest and not told you….I don't think I'll ever forgive her for that, it was cruel'.
Lily clasped James's hands tightly. She knew how angry James became when he thought of her sister, Petunia. Lily's sister hated James on sight. In fact, Lily firmly believed Petunia hated her too, she had spent Lily's entire Hogwarts education calling Lily a freak, and refusing to understand Lily was a witch. Then Petunia met and married Vernon Dursley, a vile fat man who was equally as hateful.
Lily's parents were close to both of their daughters, and were proud of all Lily's achievements both at school and after. Lily smiled reminiscently when she remembered how they had taken to James when Lily took him to meet them. Petunia and Vernon were another case entirely. They spent the entire time being rude. Lily wondered often how James had resisted the temptation to hex them. Then, soon after James and Lily were married, Lily's parents were killed. They died in a car crash, and Petunia didn't bother to tell Lily until after their funerals. She wrote to Lily telling her what happened, and then informing her, in no uncertain terms, that as far as she was concerned, she no longer had a sister. As far as Petunia Dursley was concerned, her sister was dead. James ranted and raved, threatening to go and hex Petunia and her vile husband, but Lily wouldn't let him. She decided that as much as it hurt, she could live without Petunia. She knew she had James, and he would never let her down.
Lily was still holding James's hand in hers. She suddenly grinned widely. James raised his eyebrows quizzically. Lily giggled. 'Oh, I've just had a thought, a lovely, delicious, evil thought!' James grinned, 'What on earth are you on about?' he was confused. Lily laughed devilishly. 'Well, you know I tried to contact Petunia after she sent that letter?' James nodded uncertainly, 'Yes, but I still…' Lily laughed at his bewildered expression. 'Well, she wrote to me again….I didn't tell you because I knew you'd get annoyed', she apologised with her eyes, but James just dismissed it with a shrug, he couldn't wait to find out what Lily was finding so funny.
Lily went on, her eyes shining with mirth. 'She told me in her letter that she tells people I'm either dead, or married to a penniless unemployed layabout…I mean, you penniless, it's priceless!' Lily wiped tears of laughter away from her eyes. James laughed out loud, and hugged Lily, 'Oh that's just perfect! Maybe we should write and tell her about our Gringott's vault….we could let her know what it would be in Muggle money, she'd have a fit….honestly, penniless, the stupid cow!' Lily laughed, 'Don't you do any such thing! If she knew I married a man of means she'd be here before you could say Expecto Patronum, and I'm not having it, no chance!' James chuckled at the resolute expression on Lily's face. 'No, OK, besides, leaving the cow in the dark is just perfect, exactly what the Dursleys deserve, it's just perfect!'
James and Lily laughed together again before exchanging a tender kiss and going to bed.
