Actions Have Consequences or Rewards.

by Castlefan6

Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett has found a new love, Castle is hiding a deadly secret, Takes place after the punch to the stomach in Headhunters.

Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.

I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.

Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.

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Chapter 12

3 Months Later

Castle Loft

Franny was still reminding Rick, it was time to go for his PET scan, regardless of how good he felt, and even if he did beat her to the top in rock climbing a few months ago, God what a trip, it had been unbelievable. The greatest thrill of her life, without a doubt. It seemed that Rick had something planned for each of the 10 days they spent in a resort, that made her feel like a queen.

Even though they had separate bedrooms, he hadn't objected to her napping with him on top of the covers during the afternoons as he regained his strength. She would lie beside him holding his hand, and listen for the small little sounds of his breathing, indicating that he was asleep. She turned into him getting as close as she could and planted gentle little kisses on his temple, she was happy, just being close to him. He had made her dream come true, and always planned something special just for them.

Just like all good things, time flew by and before she knew it, the last night before they returned to New York and all the things he and she had tried to forget were upon them. They had a very quiet private dinner; Rick had gone out of his way to make it enjoyable without trying to lead her on. She knew that nothing had changed with his feelings, at least towards her. He now mentioned the Detective occasionally when talking about good times with the other cops, without his face turning red, and sweat popping out on his forehead.

She was worried, like everyone who has or has had a loved one go through cancer, was it still gone. Rick had changed his demeanor since the hospital stay, and appreciated the small things in life, even more than he had. Today had been a wonderful day, he had chartered a boat, complete with a sailboat to take her out one last time.

He had been very specific when he spoke to her, he wanted her to devote the energy she had been exerting on him, to live her own life, including allowing her heart to feel. He explained that no matter what we want, the heart is always going to want what the heart wants. Sometimes that wasn't possible, so then find something close to it.

Life, as he had now discovered was far too short to put off anything as important as matters of the heart. He was open with her, even though he knew it wasn't the message she wanted to hear, it was the words she needed to hear. He had lived almost 4 years with only unspoken innuendo, or suggestive thoughts verbalized, resulting in never really knowing where you were at with the other person.

"Franny, when we get back to New York, we need to make some changes, and please hear me out, before you get angry or shut down, promise me" he looked at her, his heart silently breaking,

"OK, Rick, I think I know what you're going to say, but you do what you think you have to do, I promise, I'll listen," she said, as she locked on his eyes,

"First, Thank You, I know I wouldn't have made it this far, this quickly without you, and your love. I don't want you to look back someday and have regrets, you deserve a man who is going to look at you the way you look at me. I know he's out there; you just have to give him a chance to get close to your heart. I know you love me, but you have to understand, you'll always have a piece of my heart, but not in that way.

"You've helped me through the toughest time of my life, I really don't know what I would have done if I had to face Cancer without you. I know by your actions and some of your words, you share my concern, will it come back?

"The answer is I don't know any more than you do, but it's time, time for you to live YOUR life. I've set up a fund for you to take a year off, and your salary will continue as always. Also, your retirement is taken care of. Please, don't think I'm trying for one moment to pay you for the gift you have given me, there is no amount I could pay to cover that bill." Tears filled his eyes, as she held his hand, her eyes never leaving his,

"Thanks, Rick, I know you've been worried about me since you first helped me through the Davidson mess, and you're right, I do love you more than anyone in the world. I know my heart will never get what it wants, but also that there are some close seconds, if I allow them to get past the defenses I put up.

"When you said you wanted to walk me down the aisle, I cried myself to sleep that night. I knew they were the words needed for me to accept how you feel about me. I'm lucky to know you, and I'll do what you ask, under one condition, I'm the first call you make if you ever need me. Promise me, Rick, I can't move on, unless I know you will do that" she said, her voice shaky, tears falling down her cheeks.,

"I promise Franny, who else loves me enough to come to me at my lowest point besides you?" he tried to smile, as he took his handkerchief and gently wiped her tears away. He allowed her to kiss him on the lips briefly, knowing that when they returned to New York, he would be facing the world for the first time without his strongest supporter since this ordeal had begun.

"Rick, just hold me, that would be OK, wouldn't it, I mean I know you're still in love with Kate. Really, you should really think about maybe trying to work things out with her. I know she loves you, maybe she just doesn't know how to show it. You know not all women are lucky enough to have a friend like you to get you through a cheating slimeball like JD, AKA Josh." As he slipped his arm around her, and they enjoyed the remainder of the chartered cruise just lost in the stars, and their thoughts.

When they landed at JFK, they took the limo back to the loft together as usual, except this time Franny stopped one floor below Rick's, she went to her loft and Rick to his. She left him with a quick kiss, and finally, let go of his hand. She whispered as she left the elevator, "I'll always love you, call me if you need me, anytime" and blew him a kiss as the doors closed.

God, that had been almost three months ago, and she still sends him reminders, via text, like today. "Get your ass to the hospital for your PET scan, don't make me come up there Luv" then some smiley emojis to cover the screen,

"On my way as I text this, thanks for the reminder." He texted back, then added, "Love ya too," with some hearts, the reply was a screenful of hearts, as he smiled.

He didn't mind the test, not as much as he did the memories it brought back to him. He wasn't in a great place with Beckett then, plus he had just undergone two surgeries in a matter of a few hours. They claimed they got all of the cancer, but once you hear the word, there's always the doubt that one cell is hiding, plotting, waiting to begin the destruction of your body.

The test was routine by now, it was over and done, and he was on his way home in less than 90 minutes. He sent Franny a text, letting her know he was coming home. "PET Scan is done, in the limo on the way home"

"That's a good boy, proud of you" came the reply, then more lines, "I'm out, taking your advice, I'll talk to you later, don't build too much into this, it's just a coffee date" then smiley emojis

Rick smiled, and typed back, "Great, let me know when you want to how things went, or are going. Remember he has to pass the Dad Rick test, so act accordingly," he sent knowing the response he would get,

"I don't Frick and tell, bye Rick, talk soon" he laughed the moment it came back. He was glad she had decided to test the waters, but he was still going to look after her. There were far too many pricks like Josh Davidson in the world, she didn't need to put up with anyone like that again.

XxX

5:30 PM

Same Day

Rick had gone about his day, after the PET scan trying not to put more thought into it than he had to. It was the same each time he went, he would worry himself sick for a few days, even with Franny, who he no longer had. She had always kicked his ass out of his funk and worry, so he tried to lose himself in something he loved.

He was actually in front of his laptop with a document open, typing away. It wasn't his usual type of work, nor even the same genre. He had enough of blowing people up, playing cops and robbers on paper, and working with one particular cop and her team.

He had been inspired when he got home from the hospital weeks ago, about just how frail, and uncertain life is to everyone, regardless of your stature in life. Rich, poor, white, black, religious, or atheists, one common fact was true, NO ONE could escape the challenges life threw at you, certainly not the fate we all eventually face, death.

He decided to write something about those that inspired him, even more, today than before, the nurses. He witnessed their struggles with not only the patients but the family and then their own personal lives' stress, firsthand. He often caught Franny or Carrie crying softly in the corner of an obscure place, meaning someone wasn't going home to a family now devastated by the reality of the fragility of life.

He heard a song the first day he was home, If I had only known, by Reba, that inspired his thoughts even deeper. Why do we wait until it's too late to say thank you, I love you, I'm sorry, or whatever needs to be said? Why does it take hardened nurses, accustomed to seeing death daily to break down into tears to make life meaningful?

The words were powerful and deep, but he didn't want the book to be the handbook for a cryfest. There were plenty of celebrations he wanted to capture as well. He was still typing away on his untitled work, not even knowing if anyone besides himself would ever read it, when the title came to him, "Don't wait for Tomorrow" he thought about how close he had come, not once but twice to never seeing another tomorrow.

"If I had only known / I'd never hear your voice again

I'd memorize each thing you ever said / And on those lonely nights

I could think of them once more / Keep your words alive inside my head

If I had only known / I'd never hear your voice again"

He included the lyrics of the song on the dedication page, dedicating the book to the real heroes of the world, the Nurses who went to work, healed the sick, mourned the dead, and went home to tend to their own personal grief. He had no idea how they did it day in, day out, with so little thanks or even acknowledgment.

The book was semi-autobiographical, using a female version of himself for the main character and based on a pair of nurses in real life Carrie, and Franny, two of the bravest women he ever knew. The twist was he made his characters male nurses and gay, to perhaps help gain acceptance into mainstream society another stream of life that had been shunned and avoided. He had a ball writing scenes that Franny had divulged when she had partaken too many of the grapes of wrath.

He had reached a very good balance of laughs and tears and thought OK, it wasn't too bad, perhaps he'd let Franny read it first before submitting it to Gina. Just as he was about to text her, his cell phone rang. The number was from the hospital,

"This is Rick Castle; how can I help you?" He answered,

"Mr. Castle, this is Presbyterian Hospital, the doctors have reviewed your PET scan and would like for you to take an additional one, Wednesday at 8:00 AM, can we confirm that appointment sir?" the young lady asked,

"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name," he said,

"I apologize, Mr. Castle, I'm Liz, from scheduling, may we confirm the appointment for Wednesday sir?"

"Of course, but can you tell me why?"

"As I said, sir, Doctor just asked us to reschedule the scan for Wednesday, he'll be onsite to answer any of your questions then, I'm sorry, but I just schedule people," she said,

"Of course, of course," Rick said, as she replied, "Thanks Mr. Castle that's Wednesday at 8:00 AM, see you then," and then the line was dead.

It was good while it lasted, he thought. He knew better than getting his hopes up, at least he only had to wait one full day to get to see the Doctor again, he turned back to his manuscript, and added

"Dedicated to those who have fought the good fight, and lost. Please use this as a reminder, early detection often means a cure, PLEASE get checked regularly, it's not painful, it's not cowardly, it's just smart." Rick Castle

He walked over to his bar poured three fingers of the single malt from that he had recovered from the Old Haunt, poured one glass then another, might as well enjoy it while he could. He sat in his chair, not bothering to turn on any lights, there was no need. He just wanted to sit and think, what should he do, was his checklist for Alexis up to date, did he want to change anything about his final arrangements.

XxX

Kate Beckett's Apartment

6:02 PM Same Day

Kate had almost forgotten the ordeal, she would just as soon as her boobs regained their shape, and the bruise on the left one went away. She enjoyed the hickeys on them, actually how they were received, like any other woman, most women anyway, but not the sterile plate smashing them down as the nurse treated the procedure as if it were a cattle call.

The burning and pain from the pap smear were gone, thank goodness. She had managed to get a full day of work in without thinking about Rick once, hell that was a lie, she had thought of him once. It was early this morning and she couldn't stop thinking about him all day.

It was almost like he was trying to tell her something, telepathically her Spidey senses were now the ones tingling. She seldom got feelings so strong, and never before working with Rick, she would have to check on him to see if he was OK if the feeling didn't leave soon. NO, she couldn't, she hadn't spoken to him in almost a year. The last communication was his letter, and he was clear, he was done with her.

Just as she had pushed that thought out of her mind, her cell phone rang, without checking the ID, hell what good would it do, she was on call, answered "Beckett"

"Katherine, this is Doctor Bella, how are you today?" he asked, and she knew immediately something was wrong, drastically wrong.

"What's wrong Doctor Bella, and why are you the one calling? Usually, it's your nurse who calls and tells me the results were negative, why the change? She asked praying it was because of short staffing, but knowing deep inside it was more serious, much more serious.

"Kate, there's no easy way to say this, but your pap smear returned results that are alarming, I'm not saying cancer, I'm just saying they are not in the normal range. I would like to see you at Presbyterian Hospital tomorrow at 8:00 AM to repeat the PAP smear and run some additional tests. I just want to rule out anything serious,"

"Doctor, what aren't you telling me? What part of alarming did the results reveal? You can say it, I'm a big girl. If I have cancer, I would like to know sooner than later." She said, maintaining her gruff appearance on the outside, inside she was already dying.

"OK, there's a good possibility that you do have cervical cancer, BUT, DON'T start planning your funeral just yet, these tests often return false positives. I want to run more thorough tests so we know what we're dealing with, let's let the test reveal what we really have OK?" He tried to reassure her, as she replied,

"Sure Doc, I mean it is what it is, we'll deal with whatever it is, no problem" putting on a brave front, but fighting like hell to keep her tears inside her.

"I'll see you tomorrow, and Kate, it's OK to be afraid, you don't always have to be the tough cop." He said as he hung up, and her tears burst from the damn she had managed to hold them back until then.

Cancer? No, she was a cop. She wasn't supposed to die with some disease eating her from the inside out, she was supposed to take a bullet and take down a bad guy doing it. This wasn't the life she signed up for, as she continued to cry.

Should she tell Lanie? NO, Lanie would be over and babying her, if it was cancer, she was going to have to face it the way she had lived her life up to this point, alone, depending on no one but herself. That's the way it had to be cupcake, suck it up, she thought, as she wiped the tears from her eyes, and began to prepare for tomorrow, the day her life would be changed forever.

XxX

Next Morning

Castle's Loft

6:00 AM

Rick hadn't slept, he had been wrestling with the decision about what to do with his new book, finally, he decided he was going to send it to Gina, to see her comments. He wasn't too concerned about the response, he would publish it himself if he had to, the proceeds would be going to a new foundation he had founded, Richard Castle Foundation, the sponsor to many good causes that were severely underfunded by the government.

He typed the email, and attached the file, and hit send. He had just finished his shower and drank half of his coffee when his cell rang, it was Gina.

"Hi Gina, What are you doing up so early in the morning and what prompted this call my dear?" he asked trying to act like the old joker,

"You sent me your book, I've been crying since I started reading it Rick, it's the most heartfelt work you've ever done." She cry talked and sniffled,

"I don't know about that, but I wanted to write something different, so you think Black Pawn would want to publish it?" He asked,

"If they, don't you and I will, it's just too good to stay on some shelf, I'm serious. Now I have to go redo my makeup, thanks you always did know how to get to me." The tears were back,

"I'm sorry Genes, I'm glad you like it, and I agree, it'll get published and the proceeds will do a great deal of good to many people who need help," he said, not thinking about anything but the book for now,

"Rick, you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you? I just have a bad feeling, I don't know why I dreamed of you last night." She said, in a very serious voice,

"Of course, I would tell you, Genes, you better watch that dream stuff, your boyfriend may get jealous" Rick kidded,

"If he doesn't understand, he can take a hike, they can all take a hike," she said, then composing herself, "I'll talk to you later, we have lunch on Tuesday, don't forget" She sounded worried,

"Looking forward to it, and never, Genes, see you then,"

"Rick, then there was a pause, when she collected herself, "I love you, so if you need me for anything, I'm here, I just can't shake this feeling"

"Genes, I love you too, and I know, thanks for telling me again, it never gets old hearing it, now go fix your face," he laughed as they hung up,

He walked out of the loft, down to the limo wondering how many more times would he be able to do this? He was going to live life while he had it, and off to the hospital, they went.

XxX

Beckett's Apartment

5:35 AM

Kate finally gave up on the notion of getting any sleep, so she made a pot of coffee, showered, dressed, and now had to figure out how to kill two hours. She picked up Rick's last book, the one finished after he was out of the hospital. She began to read, and could almost spot the difference in the dialog between Rook and Heat if she had only been so observant in real life.

Finally, it was time, her cab was downstairs so she closed the door, after taking a good look at the apartment, her life, her world and walked to the elevator to face an unknown future, whatever it was, life was going to be different.

TBC

A/N: If this fic does nothing else but bring awareness of the importance of cancer screening, it will be worth the hours of effort. In the words of our main character, "Dedicated to those who have fought the good fight, and lost. Please use this as a reminder, early detection often means a cure, PLEASE get checked regularly, it's not painful, it's not cowardly, it's just smart."