A/N Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed so far. The encouragement you give me is amazing.
Now, this chapter is probably the reason this is an M. Please be warned, this is the first time I've ever submitted a fic with a love-scene in it. I suppose I'm trying to see if I'm able to write that sort of stuff. It's hard to write something you've never experienced….OK, too much detail! On with the story.
CHAPTER TEN: LOVE AND MARRIAGE
James and Lily spent the day before Halloween quietly with Harry. James told Lily about his idea of having a party for the baby. 'I reckon the day after Halloween would be good, we can make Halloween special in itself for him, and have the party the next day…drag out the celebrations a bit'. Lily raised her eyebrows wryly, 'Don't you mean it will give you two excuses for a party rather than just one? Oh, and would I be right in thinking Sirius will be trying to smuggle firewhiskey into this party for Harry?'
James stared at Lily as if she had two heads, not even bothering to deny it – he knew she'd see straight through a lie anyway, but he couldn't work out how she could've known what they were planning. Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes, 'Honestly Potter, you'd think by now you would've worked out that I know exactly how your mind works…I mean, how long have I known you? Nearly ten years! I know what you're thinking, I know how you feel, I know every little thought that goes on in that head of yours, so don't try and get one over on me!' She was trying not to laugh as she spoke. James was standing, open mouthed, looking more flabbergasted with every word she uttered. Then he smirked as an idea struck him. He knew a challenge when he heard it!
Lily was finishing the washing up from breakfast. Harry was in the living room, sitting on the carpet, surrounded by building blocks, a gift from Sirius the day before. Every now and then, through the open sliding door that linked the kitchen and living room, there was an excited squeal as Harry learned to put the bricks on top of one another.
James stood in the kitchen with his wife, watching her face intently. 'So, she thinks she knows what I'm thinking does she?' he thought, and moved towards her, as she stood with her hands in the washing up water. James moved so he was alongside Lily, facing her as she stood at the kitchen sink. She was so close to him now he could smell her, a flowery, fresh smell that he could only describe as Lily. He dragged his mind away from her smell and looked her in the eye as she turned her face towards him. 'OK, so, tell me Lily, if you're such an expert in what I'm thinking, what I feel and what I do, what am I going to do now?' His voice was low, husky.
Lily met his gaze. He was looking directly into her eyes. Lily felt a tingle all over her body at his closeness. She could smell him, a familiar smell of the outdoors, brooms and, strangely, Quidditch. Lily puzzled over whether you could say Quidditch had a smell, but if it did, James personified it. Lily quickly finished the washing up and turned towards him. His eyes were glowing, as if a fire was burning in their hazel depths. Lily forced herself to sneer at him, 'Oh you're so obvious Potter! You could try harder than that!' She attempted to laugh derisively, but even in her own ears, it wasn't even remotely derogatory enough. He was making her nerve endings dance by being so close, and he hadn't even touched her!
James plastered a fake, a very fake, smirk onto his face. Lily being so close was beginning to have an effect on him, a disastrous effect, at least for what he planned! He struggled with the urge to pull her to him, but conquered himself. 'So? What am I about to do?' he said, edging ever closer.
Lily continued to watch him, her mouth went dry. She swallowed before she could speak, 'Too easy Potter….you're going….. to kiss me' she gasped as he edged closer still and began to lower his head slowly, very slowly, all the time, never taking his eyes from hers.
James was feeling light-headed. The battle to stop himself kissing Lily right there and then was beginning to disintegrate around him. His breathing was becoming difficult. He lowered his head all the more, 'Oh, am I? Am I really?' he heard himself say, but he had no recollection of saying it. The only thing he could think about was Lily's lips as they edged closer to his.
Lily felt her heart race, her knees were about to give way. James was now about an inch from her lips. 'Of course you are….so, go on…..just get on with it'. Lily's voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.
James lowered his head so barely a quarter of an inch separated him from Lily. Now he hated himself for being competitive. 'Just kiss her you prat!' screamed one voice in his head. 'No you don't, prove a point!' screamed another. James negotiated a way of achieving both, not so much a win, but a draw, if you like. He smirked in satisfaction. He edged ever closer, his lips almost brushing Lily's. 'Nah….I've gone off the idea now….maybe later!' he grinned. Then he quickly stepped right back to where he was originally standing.
Lily Potter glared furiously at her husband and caught the breath she'd been holding when his lips were so close to hers. 'Why, you…..!...you…..!...you complete and utter toera'………!' She was abruptly cut off as James rushed towards her and pulled her into his arms. He clamped his lips to hers swiftly, the pressure of his mouth on hers unravelling everything around them both. Lily gasped and opened her mouth, which James took advantage of, he explored her mouth with his, their tongues dancing together, exploring each other blissfully. Lily nipped James's lower lip softly, eliciting a low moan from him.
When they released each other they were both out of breath. James's eyes sparkled. 'So, do you think you still know what I think?' he asked, his eyes bright with suppressed laughter and love. He was ecstatic. He realised in that moment that he and Lily were fooling around with each other exactly like they did when they were first married and he loved it, loved her.
Lily stood and tried to gather her thoughts. She felt like she could've climbed a mountain or shouted from the rooftops. She knew she and James were behaving normally with one another, completely at ease to laugh and joke at one another's expense, and tease when they felt like it. Lily knew James meant no harm, he was just having fun making a point, and, she admitted, he'd made it pretty convincingly! She loved being this relaxed with him again. Quite simply, she loved him. 'Oh, I don't know about that, let me think it over while you make your point again' she whispered suggestively.
James decided it would be rude to refuse a lady who clearly wanted an interesting debate, so, he edged closer and claimed Lily's lips again.
James put Harry to bed that night. Lily sat downstairs in the living room watching the warm glow of the fire. As she sat there, she felt content. She was happy with James, Harry was fit and well and doing new things every day. James and Lily delighted in every development Harry made, from his increasingly confident attempts to walk, to the way his baby babbling was making way for real words.
They'd spent the entire day with Harry, talking to him, reading to him and showing him photographs of their last few weeks in the 7th year at Hogwarts. Lily insisted they were wasting their time showing Harry the photographs, they wouldn't mean anything to him, but James ignored her. He grabbed the photo albums enthusiastically and pointed at various people, telling Harry who they were.
James and Lily laughed at the memories the photos evoked. There was one in particular they both loved. It showed James and Lily in each other's arms, dancing around the lake at school. Lily smiled as memories overwhelmed her. That photograph was taken on their very last day at Hogwarts. Just an hour or so before, James had proposed, on one knee, at the lakeside.
Harry seemed to enjoy the photos, although, Lily admitted, chuckling to herself, it really wasn't funny when she showed him a photograph of Sirius, and he squealed with delight and yelled 'Dada!' Lily sniggered as James huffed, disgruntled. 'I think you should take that as a compliment, he was much more handsome than you, you know' she said, her eyes twinkling wickedly. James huffed even more, until Lily leaned over and whispered in his ear seductively, 'I would never have trusted him to take me flying though'. James brightened up considerably at that, and spent the rest of the day with a smug smile on his face.
Now Lily was sitting by the fire, waiting for James to come back downstairs. When there was no sign of him, she decided to go and see what he was doing. Harry was normally easy to settle, she couldn't work out what was taking James so long.
Lily climbed the stairs and went to the door of the nursery, which was slightly ajar. She opened it a little and stopped in her tracks. She heard a low voice, talking very softly. It was James and he was leaning a little over Harry's cot. '….you should have seen her son…' he said quietly, his voice expressive, 'she looked gorgeous. No, actually, she looked beautiful.'
Lily held her breath and wondered what, or who, James was talking about. He went on speaking, in the same soft, vibrant tones. 'She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life Harry. I couldn't keep my eyes off her.' Lily smothered a gasp. James was clearly talking about a woman.
James continued to talk, believing he was alone with Harry. 'All our friends were there, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Dumbledore, and…well, lots of other people….but the only one I could see was her. She looked like an angel Harry, a beautiful red-haired angel. I couldn't believe she was going to be mine. To be honest, I still can't believe she's mine, mine to keep, mine to love, forever, because I will son. I'll love your Mum forever'.
Lily swallowed a lump in her throat. James was talking to Harry about her! She stood transfixed, by the door of the nursery. She watched James kiss Harry softly and say goodnight. She stared as he suddenly looked up and saw her there. He smiled, and then, waving his wand, he lit a nightlight for Harry, and stepped out of the room, leaving the door ajar.
James moved towards Lily and smiled again. 'How long were you standing there?' he asked. Lily stepped into his arms, and stroked his cheek tenderly. 'Long enough to hear you talking about some woman you appear to be quite keen on' she replied, her eyes shining warmly at him. James held her, his arms around her waist, and looked deeply into her eyes, 'Not just some woman, and not someone I'm keen on. I was telling Harry about the woman I love, the mother of my child….my wife'. James clasped Lily tightly to his body and kissed her deeply.
Lily pulled out of James's arms and smiled tenderly. 'I was beginning to worry, I was waiting downstairs for you for ages, so I thought I'd come up and check where you were. I heard you talking to Harry and wondered who you were talking about…it took me ages to figure out you meant me!' She smacked him playfully. James laughed softly. 'Well, who else would I be telling Harry about? I realised when I was putting him to bed, when we had the photos out, we didn't show him any from our wedding. So, I was telling him about it, how beautiful you looked, and how I couldn't believe you were going to be mine'. His voice became low again. 'I told him I still can't believe you're mine'. Lily reached up and kissed him. 'Well I am, so get used to it', she said, a contented smile on her lips.
They turned to go downstairs when James stopped. He turned to Lily again. He seemed almost shy. 'Lily' he said, an uncertain expression on his face. Lily turned her head up to his. 'What is it James?' she asked, he was looking at her oddly. 'Is there something wrong?' James looked anxious, but strangely happy too, his eyes were glowing. 'No…' he swallowed nervously, 'No, there's nothing wrong…' he became hesitant. 'It's just…I don't…..' Lily was worried now, James was starting to sweat. Beads of sweat were gathering on his forehead. 'James are you ill love? Do you need me to get you something, or do something?' She was trying not to panic. James Potter looked straight into his wife's eyes. 'No….no, I'm not ill, I'm fine…I just…'he swallowed hard and then went on. 'Lily…love…what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to go downstairs again tonight…..I want to go to bed, with you'.
Lily's heart missed what she thought must have been half a dozen beats. It felt like it was about to explode, right out of her chest. However, she decided not to push. She wanted James to tell her what he wanted. She knew they had worked through James's fears over their love-making when they were on the run, but she decided to be cautious. She took his hands in hers and found they were shaking a little. 'James, are you telling me you're tired?' she asked, trying as hard as she could to keep her voice steady. James's eyes became wide for an instant before he relaxed and, to Lily's pleasure, smiled. 'No Lily, I'm not saying I'm tired….I'm saying I'd like to go to bed….with you' he added, the words heavy with meaning.
Lily couldn't help herself, her eyes filled with tears. She released a strangled sob and rushed at James, holding him tightly. They held each other close, their hearts racing, and then Lily stepped away from him. Looking into his eyes, she took his hand in hers and led him to their bedroom.
Lily and James went to their room and James closed the door softly behind them, releasing Lily's hand as she went into the room and stood at the bottom of their bed. 'Harry's fast asleep, I don't think he'll wake until morning' James said, his voice hardly more than a whisper. Lily nodded, 'No, he sleeps like me, unless he's upset over something, it would probably take an earthquake to wake him!' she smiled brightly.
The couple stood apart, holding each other's gaze. Lily felt the atmosphere in the room become charged. Electricity flowed between the two, heightening the tension. She watched as James swallowed and ran a nervous hand through his hair. As he moved to lower the hand, Lily reached out and took it, 'James, are you absolutely sure you want this?' she asked anxiously. James nodded, 'Yes, I'm sure…..I'm just… a bit nervous' he admitted reluctantly. Lily nodded. 'So am I, it feels a bit like our first time again doesn't it?' James nodded and swallowed again. 'Yes it does' then he smiled ironically, 'there can't be many couples who can say they've had two first times with the same person, can there?'
Lily laughed softly, she felt more relaxed, and James seemed more comfortable too. 'No, I suppose there can't' she replied. Then she looked at him quizzically, 'James, do you remember our first time?' James broke out into a wide smile and then he moved and took Lily into his arms, gazing into her green eyes. 'Of course I do, I remember every detail of that night. I even remember what you were wearing….even though you weren't exactly wearing it for long'. He grinned, his warm hazel eyes bright. Lily blushed softly, 'Well, that's quite a memory you've got there then, isn't it?' Then she had an idea. She eased out of his arms, and went to a drawer. She pulled something out and turned to him again. He watched her intently, not saying a word. Lily felt the intensity of his gaze and took a breath before she could speak. 'I won't be long, I just want to change' she said, seeing a confused expression on her husband's face. James nodded and Lily quickly left the room.
Lily's heart raced. She went to the bathroom and changed into a silk nightgown. It was golden coloured and showed off Lily's slim figure to perfection. It had the tiniest shoulder straps Lily had ever seen. It wasn't especially low; it came to a point at the front where it revealed Lily's slender neck and the top of her chest. Lily was pleased with the effect, and she knew James would be too. She ran her hands through her hair, making sure it flowed over her shoulders. When she was completely happy with the way she looked she turned, and walked steadily back to the bedroom.
James was sitting on the bottom of the bed when Lily came back into the room. When he saw her, he stood and his mouth dropped open in surprise. 'That's what you wore on our wedding night isn't it?' he exclaimed. His eyes were wide, almost out on stalks. Lily beamed with pleasure at his reaction. 'Yes, I'm glad I kept it' she replied, as she moved towards him.
James stared at Lily, his eyes shining with love and pride. She was standing right in front of him now; his body reacted instinctively to her nearness. His heart thundered in his chest. Then, with a sigh he reached for her and she moved swiftly into his arms. He clung to her, feeling her softness against his body. 'Oh Lily, I do love you, I love you so much, I always have' his voice was husky, filled with emotion.
Lily held James close and her fingers went automatically to the hair at the nape of his neck. She delighted in being this close to him again. Her body tingled in response to his closeness. 'I love you James, I'll always love you, I swear' she promised, clinging to him.
They held each other for what seemed like an age, their hearts racing in time with one another. Then James eased away and, casting Lily a look of adoration, he placed his lips on hers. At first it was a soft kiss, almost chaste, then suddenly it seemed to grow and ignite a flame all of its own. James caressed Lily's lips with his own, slowly deepening his kiss, taking his time. She opened her mouth for him, and he explored it, allowing his tongue to taste her. His senses were alive and he thrilled in the sensations flowing through him after so long. Lily grew bolder and edged her tongue into his mouth. They danced together, wanting to taste each other, needing to be closer than ever.
Suddenly James grasped Lily firmly in his arms and picked her up. He looked at her as if asking permission. Lily smiled radiantly and nodded. James carried her to their bed. He placed her down on the open bed and looked down on her as she lay on her back. 'God, Mrs Potter, you are beautiful' he sighed, his hazel eyes burning, absorbing every detail. Lily smiled and reached for him, 'James, come to bed, please' she said, her eyes never straying from him. James nodded; he took off his glasses and began to remove his clothes, down to his boxer shorts. Lily watched him intently, her eyes taking him in. She could feel the beating of her heart, hear it clearly. She sensed her insides heating in anticipation.
James went to his side of the bed and climbed in. Lily turned onto her side to face him. James gazed at her, his eyes shining with love. He reached out and stroked her cheek gently, his strong hands caressing the smoothness of her skin. He leaned over and softly kissed her lips before he moved and smiling against her, he dropped feather light kisses over her cheeks, her chin and her eyelids. He smiled lovingly before he shifted himself so he was on top of her, and then his lips were on hers again, gently probing, asking for something.
Lily responded to his kiss, and, moaning in the back of her throat, opened her mouth to let him in again. She nipped his lips and ran her hands through his hair, her soft white fingers contrasting with the darkness of his unruly locks. James moaned deeply and took his lips from hers. He looked down on Lily, his breathing becoming ragged, and then his hands were in her hair. He gently took the deep red strands and spread them out, so they looked like a halo around her head as it rested on the pillow.
Lily watched every move James made, overwhelmed by the tenderness in his hazel eyes. He moved with slow deliberation, as if he was considering everything he did, as if every single move was vital to him.
When he finished with Lily's hair, James kissed her passionately again. When they had to breathe, he took his time and slowly lowered his lips to her jaw. He kissed her where her ear and her lower jaw met. He rejoiced when she tilted her head back and allowed him better access, closing her eyes in ecstasy and sighing in satisfaction. He carried on, dropping kisses along her jaw-line, as Lily reached down and gripped his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. James gasped at her touch and a flame was lit somewhere inside him. He moved his lips to her chest and Lily opened her eyes wide and shuddered, gripping his shoulders tighter, pulling him to her.
James carried on, his heart racing wildly, his body aching with the need to taste and touch. He allowed his lips to continue over Lily's chest, until they came to where the silk nightgown covered her. They were both breathing rapidly, their breaths coming as short gasps. James looked down on Lily again. He began to slip the nightgown off her shoulders, gradually exposing her perfect skin, which glowed in the soft light of the room. James eased the soft fabric away from Lily's body achingly slowly, as if he was opening a delicate gift. His eyes took in the newly exposed flesh as he lowered the nightgown down her body, revealing her soft creamy breasts and her beautiful feminine form to his worshipping gaze. Lily raised herself to allow him to remove the garment further down her body, moaning as his hands brushed her waist, her hips, her thighs, before they trailed slowly down her legs. James sat up briefly to push the nightgown away from Lily's feet, caressing them, and placing a delicate kiss on the soles of each foot. As suddenly as he was gone, he was with her again, his lips covering hers. He held her to him, 'Lily, my beautiful Lily!' he cried ardently, as their bodies pressed ever closer. Lily gasped with pleasure and yearned for more. She arched her back, and ground her hips against his. She could feel the need echoed in his own body, his eyes burning as they met hers again, 'Please, please James!' she implored earnestly. He responded, and, catching his breath, he reached and slipped Lily's underwear away. She lay completely naked before him.
James revelled in the glorious sight beneath him, her beautiful eyes full of passion, her perfect skin shining with perspiration, her full, soft breasts rising and falling with every breath. He reached out, and raising a hand, he trailed a fingertip languidly around a breast. Lily closed her eyes and allowed the sensations he caused to wash over her. His touch was playing havoc, causing waves of heat to rise through her veins. She gasped as his finger continued to trail around the breast, gradually getting closer and closer to where she wanted him. 'Please James! Oh, please!' she begged, her body trembling with need. She quivered, her nerve endings tingled. She arched her back, pleading for his touch where she needed it most.
James knew Lily was close to losing control; he could feel her trembling against him, could hear her breathing as it came in shuddering gasps. 'Shhh sweetheart, it's all right, it's all right' he soothed. He took his hands away from her body. Lily's eyes popped open; she looked at James, almost weeping with need. 'Why have you….?' She was silenced as James lowered his head and took a nipple into his mouth. He took the rosy bud between his warm lips and passed his tongue over the sensitive tip. He felt his body heat rise as Lily clamped her eyes closed again and threw her head back, moaning loudly. 'James….oh God, James!' she whimpered; her heart pumping wildly as she writhed in blissful sensations all over her body. He repeated the movements on the other breast, and Lily was openly trembling when he was done.
When Lily's breathing slowed a little she wrapped her legs around her husband's, then, using her body weight to lever them, she turned him onto his back. His eyes widened in shock, 'Lily…..what…..are….you….?' he struggled to speak as Lily explored him in the way he did her. She kissed him passionately before trailing her lips down, over his neck, she nipped him softly with her teeth, drawing groans of pleasure from his mouth. She smiled as she grazed her tongue over a nipple, making him moan and grind his hips against her.
James was drowning in the waves of desire and love flooding through him. He writhed as Lily's lips and hands carried on, caressing the muscles of his abdomen. 'Oh my God, Lily!' he cried, when she passed her tongue around his bellybutton. She smiled, and carried on. Her hands reached the waistband of his boxer shorts and James gasped. Lily grasped the boxer shorts and with one swift movement pulled them off him, exposing him fully.
Lily met James's eyes, and then, with deliberate slowness, she took him gently into her hands. She stroked him, caressing the hardness of his length with a firm but delicate touch. She watched him close his eyes as his face contorted in bliss. Lily loved him more in that moment than ever before. He was taking pleasure for himself, but giving it in the way he responded to her touch so openly, moaning her name lovingly, arching his body nearer hers, and whimpering as she caressed him. She could see he was fighting to maintain his control over his body's reactions, fighting so as not to ruin her pleasure with a premature response of his own. She loved him for the way he was so thoroughly wrapped up in the feelings she was giving him, caused by a touch she knew he took pleasure from, but never, even during their darkest times when they were on the run, asked for. Now, when they were so happy, Lily offered this gift to him, gave it freely, because she loved him so much.
When James felt his control falling away he took Lily's hands away from his body. She smiled so lovingly at him he could've wept, but he controlled himself, and, kissing her again, turned her on to her back. Their eyes met, and they clung to each other, both short of breath. James steadied himself and looked with adoration into Lily's beautiful eyes, the eyes he'd worshipped for years. 'Oh Lily, I love you, I worship you, you're my whole world!' he cried, his eyes full. Lily cradled him to her, stroking his hair, 'I love you too James, so much!' James looked into her eyes and pressed his lips to hers, then, gently, he entered her. For a moment he stayed perfectly still, feeling her all around him. Then she smiled tenderly at him, 'James, you can move you know, its fine, really'. James was suddenly apprehensive again. 'I just…I don't want to hurt you, that's all'. Lily smiled lovingly, 'James, please, I've told you, I love you, I trust you….I want this, and I know you do too, believe me, I can tell!' she giggled seductively.
James suddenly felt lighter than air, with her love and trust Lily had eased his nerves, and even managed to find the situation funny! He grinned in response to her laughter, then, with a loving look, he moved himself within her. He moved gently at first, as if rediscovering how to pleasure her. Soon Lily was moving with him and they established a glorious rhythm in a dance as old as time.
Lily could feel the sensations building around her. She felt as if she was floating somewhere, carrying James with her to a place she'd forgotten existed. She could see a bright light somewhere in the distance and she arched, reaching for it, screaming James's name and clinging to him as she reached her peak. In an instant James joined her there, wrapping her up in his love for her. He reached a peak of his own and collapsed on top of her, shaking. When he could move, he went to pull out of her, but Lily held him close. Eventually she let him go. He pulled out and then took Lily into his embrace, where they held each other close and slept.
