CHAPTER THIRTEEN: LOVE CONQUERS ALL
Lily Potter stood on the bottom of the last few stairs that would take her to her son. She tried desperately to make herself move. She could hear Harry whimpering on his room, but try as she might, Lily was rooted to the spot, straining to hear the sounds below. Lily continued to sob helplessly, though she held her hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. Lily knew Harry's safety relied on Voldemort not knowing where he was. Lily fought the rising terror within her and remained silent.
Lily couldn't see what was happening downstairs, but soon she could hear raised voices coming from the hallway. Lily's stomach turned when she realised one voice was Voldemort. She knew she should be moving, she should be getting to Harry, Voldemort was obviously downstairs, demanding to know where the baby was! Lily's heart leapt when she heard James arguing with Voldemort, telling him to get out, refusing to give in, refusing to hand over the baby, whatever the cost. Love and pride crashed over Lily, mixed with fear. She felt proud of James for standing up to Voldemort so bravely, but she was terrified of the risk he was taking. Lily knew Voldemort could kill with just a flick of his wand, or a word.
Lily had to stifle an urge to rush back downstairs and fight alongside her husband. She shivered violently, smothering her sobs when she heard the word 'CRUCIO' yelled by a voice she knew didn't belong to James. She could picture James in agony, struggling to stay on his feet proudly, while his body filled with agonising pain. Lily realised she could hear no screams, weeping harder she felt another rush of love and pride for her husband. Even in the midst of his agony, he was refusing to back down, just as he'd done before. Several minutes later Lily heard James swear loudly at Voldemort and she had to cling to the banister tighter. Relief that he was still all right overwhelmed her, making her feel faint.
In time Lily heard the voices again, and then they became quieter, as if they were further away. The muffled sounds of the voices rose periodically, James was clearly standing up to Voldemort, refusing steadfastly to give in. Lily listened intently trying to absorb every distant sound, clinging to every sound she heard from James, taking it as a sign he was still with her.
Soon Lily heard James's voice rise dramatically. He was clearly furious. Lily flinched when she heard him use a word she'd never heard from him before. For some strange reason, Lily thought of times in the past when she would've been angry at James for using the word in the wrong context. Lily took his using the word now as a sign that something had angered him and his temper was rising. She prayed that he wouldn't let it get out of control, that he wouldn't place himself in greater danger. Then Lily shuddered at herself. The thought of James in a room alone with Voldemort flooded her mind. She realised that he couldn't possibly be in greater danger, regardless of his ability to control his temper.
Lily went on listening. She heard James and Voldemort talking again, arguing, Voldemort's voice clearly becoming angrier by the second. She heard James arguing, clearly provoking Voldemort's rage further. Then Lily gasped as she heard Voldemort yell 'CRUCIO!' again, screaming out the curse violently. Lily felt a wave of nausea flow through her. She knew from the tone of the curse Voldemort was mad with fury. Lily wept when she heard James moan in pain, she sobbed, struggling to hold back her grief as she heard him moan again and again. Lily knew James must be in agony. Once again she gripped the banister to prevent herself running to his side. The sound of James moaning seemed to go on forever, then, just when it seemed to stop Lily heard Voldemort renew the curse, drawing more moans out of his agonised victim.
Now Lily was furious. She shook with temper, her whole body having to fight to stop herself running and taking on Voldemort herself. She couldn't bear the sounds James was making, each moan echoing in Lily's mind all the more because she could tell he was struggling not to scream with the pain. Lily knew now as never before, she hated Voldemort more than she'd ever hated anyone in her life. As she stood, tears flowing from her eyes, Lily wanted to kill Voldemort. She wanted to make him feel the pain James was feeling. She wanted him to feel the fear she and James had felt for so long.
Lily thought of someone else. Peter Pettigrew burst into her mind. Her husband's friend, who had appeared so unworldly and innocent, and yet Lily had never really trusted him. However, Lily struggled to absorb the fact that Pettigrew had betrayed them. She wondered what they could have done to make Pettigrew hate them so much that he could want Harry, an innocent baby, dead. The truth seemed to mock Lily as it dawned on her. Pettigrew had betrayed James and Lily in order to be part of a group he thought would look after him. The consequences of that wouldn't have even crossed his mind. Lily remembered how, even at school, Pettigrew followed James and Sirius around and hero-worshipped them. Lily realised now that a lot of that was because James and Sirius were such superior wizards. Pettigrew remained in the background, sheltered by his friends, basking in their reflected glory. Lily couldn't help wondering what Voldemort had promised Pettigrew in return for betraying his friends and whether he would deliver on any promise.
Eventually Lily realised James had stopped moaning. Her legs wobbled as she waited for further signs that he was all right. Soon she heard the sounds of glass smashing and curses being yelled rapidly. Lily sobbed harder when she realised she could still hear James. He was still fighting. Lily continued to hear crashes and bangs and smashing sounds as curses were knocked back and forth.
Soon Lily heard voices again. Voldemort's voice was low and hard to make out, James's louder, clearly defiant. Then she faintly heard Voldemort speak again in a calm tone. Lily wasn't expecting the scream when it came. She jumped out of her skin as she heard Voldemort use a curse. 'Avada Kedavra!' rang out, and Lily swayed violently on the stairs as her world crashed around her. Then Lily heard another sound, an anguished cry of one word. Lily heard James scream her name, and then there was silence as Lily's heart shattered inside her. Without seeing it with her own eyes, Lily knew what had happened. James, Lily's handsome 21 year old husband, the love of her life, the father of her son, was dead. As if to confirm it, Lily heard a thud. She knew straight away it was James's body hitting the floor.
Lily stood trembling in shock, her mind trying to absorb the fact on the one hand, while she fought it with the other. She argued with herself that James was all right, he had to be all right; he promised he would be! She told herself that it couldn't be true; they had made plans to have another baby. James couldn't possibly die and lose out on that! She argued that James would never leave her alone; he loved her too much to leave her! As soon as that thought struck Lily, the truth descended on her. She felt as if an ice cold hand had gripped her shattered heart. She felt something inside her die. Without seeing his body, Lily knew the truth. James was dead, he was gone forever and she was alone.
Terror began to sweep through Lily as she realised the terrible truth. As she stood on the stairs she knew she wasn't afraid for herself because of Voldemort. She knew she wasn't even afraid for Harry any more. Lily knew she would do whatever it took to keep Harry alive, even if she had to die. It was this thought that made Lily realise what she was afraid of. Lily Potter knew she was terrified of not dying that night. She was afraid of a life without James.
The thought of never being with James again, never being able to talk and laugh with him, never hearing his voice talk to Harry with such joy, filled Lily with agony. Lily knew that she would never again be held in James's arms, she would never feel his touch again, never have him hold her hand, caress her, or make love to her ever again. She would never again hear him say her name, making it sound like something he held sacred. She would never feel his love, ever again. Lily knew that if she survived the night she would spend the rest of her life alone, she would never be able to be with anyone else. The only man she would ever love was dead.
The truth hit Lily. She felt the terror inside her grow, she felt as if she was going to suffocate with it. She gasped for air as the cottage seemed to shrink for a moment around her. Then, when Lily's lungs were full with air again, the panic rose, higher than ever. Without thinking about the consequences, Lily knew she couldn't keep the pain inside her any more. She couldn't, wouldn't bear it. Lily Potter opened her mouth and, with all her strength, she screamed. The scream echoed through the cottage, piercing through the building like a hot knife through butter.
When the scream began to fade, Lily felt a fresh wave of agony smash into her. Images of James rushed in on her. She could see him the night he took her flying for the first time at school. She could see him kissing her in their private common room on the night she admitted she loved him. Lily could see James on one knee by the lake at Hogwarts, proposing to her. She could see him waiting for her at the church on their wedding day, his eyes full of love. She could see him holding Harry in his arms for the first time, tears of joy flowing from his eyes. Lily could see James with her held in his arms each time he made love to her, his gaze reverential and his touch worshipping, showing the strength of his love.
Suddenly, in her mind, Lily could see James's lifeless body. She could see his once vibrant eyes, eyes which reflected his feelings so clearly, now wide open and staring, though they would never see anything again. Lily could see his body, see it stretched out, and absolutely still, never again able to get up and do the things he wanted, never again able to press against Lily so passionately while his mouth whispered words of his deep love. Lily could see James's arms lying rigidly at his side, never again able to embrace his wife or hold his son.
A fresh burst of anguish tore through Lily, making her feel as if her skin was being ripped off. Lily knew she couldn't bear the pain any more, she wouldn't take it. Her mind argued that she had to accept it, there was nothing else to do, but Lily wouldn't hear the truth. She pushed it away, fought against it, argued with it as horror swept through her. Once again Lily Potter opened her mouth. She released one, long, shrill cry. 'NOOOOO!'
Lily stood on the stairs of the cottage, her agony overwhelming her. She sobbed relentlessly, her mind unable to take in her terrible loss. Suddenly a movement caught Lily's eye. She glanced around and panic rushed in on her as she took in Voldemort below her, halfway up the short first flight of stairs, just in view of where Lily was standing. 'Ah, there you are, Potter's little Mudblood bride, or rather Potter's Mudblood widow!' Voldemort cried scornfully.
On hearing Voldemort's words Lily gasped. Suddenly something seemed to click inside her. It was if James was standing beside her again. Lily was tempted to turn around, convinced that if she did, James would be there with her. Lily could suddenly hear James's voice clearly in her head. 'Come on love, move yourself, Harry needs you now!' Heeding the voice, Lily ran. She quickly climbed the last few stairs and turned into Harry's nursery, her heart pounding in her chest.
When Lily reached the nursery she hastily slammed the door behind herself, shutting herself in the room with her son. Harry was lying whimpering in his cot, clearly confused by the strange noises in the house. He began to cry loudly at when the nursery door slammed shut. Lily quickly reached over to him, tears still filling her eyes. 'Shh darling, it's all right, Mummy's here sweetheart, you need to be quiet Harry!' she whispered frantically. She stroked Harry's cheek in a desperate attempt to soothe him. Harry refused to be calmed. Instead, his cries became louder and increasingly shrill. Lily picked him up instinctively, almost blinded by tears. 'Shh, darling please, please be quiet Harry, Mummy needs you to be quiet sweetheart!' she whispered, holding the baby to her body, desperate to get Harry to be quiet so Voldemort wouldn't find him.
A few moments later the baby became silent, almost as if he sensed Lily's urgency. Lily held him tightly to her in one arm and reached for her wand with the other. Icy panic gripped her when she realised her wand must still be downstairs! She looked down on her son in dismay. 'Oh Harry, Mummy's sorry darling, Mummy's so sorry!' she cried, cradling Harry as tightly to herself as she could. 'Mummy's so stupid, leaving her wand downstairs, Daddy will be….Daddy would be so cross, wouldn't he darling' Lily corrected herself as the realisation dawned again that James was gone.
Lily looked around the room. She knew Voldemort must be getting closer to finding them with each passing second. A heavy chair in the corner of the room caught Lily's eye. She immediately knew what to do. Holding Harry in one arm, she used all her strength to drag the chair in front of the nursery door, and then she tilted it back a little so the back of the chair came underneath the door handle, blocking the handle from turning if the door was opened from the other side. Relief overwhelmed Lily when she realised there was no way the door would open. Harry was safe…for now.
Lily looked down on the baby in her arms. Pain gripped her as she looked down and saw his features, so much like his father. His messy black hair, his nose, his hands, each feature reminded Lily vividly of her husband. 'You're going to be so like your Dad Harry' Lily sighed, still crying softly. 'You're going to look so much like him…I bet you'll even play Quidditch one day like your Dad did…and maybe one day a redhead will fall for you like I fell for…oh Harry!' A fresh wave of agony swept through Lily's heart. She tried desperately to quell her crying for fear that Harry would become upset and Voldemort would hear them. She continued to gaze down on her son. 'Your Dad loved you very much darling, always remember that. Your Dad loved both of us so much!' Harry seemed to sigh softly as Lily talked to him, her voice determined. 'Dad died to keep us both safe sweetheart, and I promise you, whatever happens, you'll survive tonight, I won't let anyone hurt you Harry, not ever!' Lily's love for her son crashed over her powerfully, she knew now that she would find the strength to do whatever it took to keep him alive, she knew James would expect nothing less of her.
Suddenly Lily heard footsteps from behind the nursery door. She caught her breath when she heard a voice. 'Don't be a silly girl Mrs Potter, you can't hide from me forever, show yourself!' Lily rocked Harry back and forth in her arms, desperate to keep him quiet. She jumped out of her skin when Voldemort rattled the nursery door, shaking the heavy chair that rested against it, blocking it. Lily's startled reaction must have scared the baby, before she could do anything, Harry was crying loudly again. Lily tried to soothe him, but it was too late, though Harry's crying stopped, Voldemort was rattling the nursery door violently again. Swiftly, Lily turned and put the baby down in his cot, she stroked his cheek. 'I'm sorry darling, I love you, I'll always love you Harry!' she said, crying passionately, tears running down her face. 'Mum and Dad love you so much Harry, we'll never leave you alone!' she cried, just as the nursery door crashed wide open, sending the heavy chair resting against it flying across the room.
Voldemort burst into Harry's nursery, his eyes shining triumphantly. 'Ah, there you are!' he cried, stepping into the room. Lily steeled herself against Voldemort's malevolent gaze. She stood resolutely in front of Harry's cot, her arms outstretched and her hands gripping the rail on the cot-side as tightly as she could. 'Leave my son alone, he's nothing to you!' Voldemort laughed scornfully, 'Oh, but that's where you're wrong Mudblood, your son is very important to me, very important indeed….which is why he has to die tonight, just like your dear husband'.
Lily felt a rush of anger when Voldemort mentioned James. She fought to hold it down, desperate to keep control of what was happening. However, Voldemort seemed to sense he had hit a raw nerve. He smirked evilly. 'I'm sure you heard your husband when he died, you must have heard him screaming your name. I have to wonder why you wouldn't be with him in his last moments, why you chose your son over your husband. You clearly didn't love him as much as he loved you!' Lily struggled not to respond. She knew she would be playing directly into Voldemort's hands if she lost her temper. Voldemort sneered maliciously, 'You left your husband alone to suffer the terrible agony I inflicted on him, you left him to go through horrific pain, and then you left him alone to die…oh yes, you really must have loved him so much!'
Lily couldn't help it any more. She was furious. 'Don't you dare speak about my husband or my son!' she raged, her eyes wide with temper. 'My husband was a good, decent, loving man and you….you killed….' Lily shook with anger and disgust, unable to express her feelings and keep control of herself. She wanted to reach out and tear Voldemort limb from limb, but she knew if she moved, Harry would be in danger.
Voldemort stepped further into the room, his wand raised and his voice eerily calm. 'Your husband was weak Mudblood! He wouldn't see how I could've looked after him, how I could've made your son great…no, instead he chose you, he stuck to you, ruined himself on a Mudblood, so his death is entirely your fault, you killed your husband and now you're going to give me your son, aren't you?'
Lily gripped the side of Harry's cot harder. She stared into Voldemort's red eyes in determination. 'No, I'll never give up my son to you! I'll never let you take him from me, never!' she cried purposefully. Voldemort shook his head, 'Don't be silly girl, you heard what happened to your husband when he tried to resist me! Stand aside now, let me do what I came to do and then I'll leave you alone…I'm not interested in you, you're nothing, but your son has to die, so stand aside now and let me get it over with!' Voldemort was becoming angrier by the second as Lily stood firm, refusing to move from Harry's side.
Lily continued to stare into Voldemort's eyes. She wouldn't let her gaze fall from his. 'Isn't it enough for you that you've taken my husband from me without taking my child as well?' she demanded, her eyes wide. Voldemort laughed viciously, 'You really think your husband mattered to me?' he sneered, 'You really think I care that very soon, when your son is dead, you'll be alone?' Voldemort raised his brows mockingly, 'You and your husband are nothing to me! All I want is your son out of my way, so stand aside now and let me do what I came to do!' Lily stood firm in spite of fear for Harry leaping inside her. She knew Voldemort was not going to give up easily. 'No, I've already told you, I'll never let you take my son away from me, so just leave us alone!' she cried, edging closer to the cot.
Voldemort's face twisted in rage. 'I'm warning you girl, stand aside now and I won't hurt you!' Lily stood firm, her heart racing in her chest as Voldemort moved closer to her. 'No, leave my son alone! You'll never take my son from me, so leave him alone!' Voldemort smiled nastily, 'You really think you standing guard over your son will stop me getting what I want?' he demanded, his voice laden with sarcasm. Lily gripped the cot tighter, her knuckles turning white as she gripped with all her strength. 'You'll never get at my son, I'll never leave him to you, so just give up and go away!' she yelled, fear and anger rising inside her.
Voldemort smirked, 'Ah, you underestimate me Mudblood! You think I can be prevented from getting at your son by you standing between us, but you're mistaken!' He laughed malevolently, and then Lily saw him flick his wand. Lily turned slightly and saw her son's tiny body beginning to rise from his cot. He was already floating about an inch in the air. Terror rose inside Lily, she knew she had to keep Harry alive no matter what. Turning back to Voldemort she knew she was powerless without her wand. All she could do was beg, plead for Harry to be spared.
Standing directly in front of Voldemort, Lily opened her mouth, her eyes wide with fear, 'Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!' she begged, focusing on Voldemort, while also trying to watch Harry as the dark wizard used his wand to drag the child towards him. Lily edged closer to Voldemort, directly in front of his wand. Voldemort glowered menacingly, trying to push Lily out of the way, as she broke the connection between the wand and her baby. Harry's tiny body was still not much higher than an inch above his cot. He dropped back down onto his soft bedding with a thud. 'Stand aside you silly girl, you won't stop me getting what I want in the end, so stand aside, now! Stand aside now and I'll spare you, hinder me and I will be forced to kill you, or use other means to force you to do as I say!'
Lily continued to stand in front of Voldemort's wand, she stared at its tip, as if she could beg with it directly for her son's life; she could feel her desperation rising inside her. 'Not Harry! Not Harry! Please, I'll do anything, please, don't hurt my baby!' Lily pleaded, the only thought in her mind for her son's safety.
Voldemort was shaking with fury as he stared at the Muggleborn witch who was openly defying his will. 'Stand aside, stand aside girl, I came here to kill the child and there's nothing you can do to stop me! Your miserable husband defied me and I killed him, so unless you want the same fate, stand aside now!'
Hope flared inside Lily. Somehow she sensed that if she could just hold on a little longer, Harry would make it. Lily no longer cared for her own life. She knew she had nothing without James, so she knew she could hold her ground and give Harry a chance. Lily didn't think to question what Voldemort would do to Harry if she was out of his way. The feeling that Harry would live if she just held on gathered strength inside her, forcing out any other thoughts.
Lily spoke, at the same time she pushed all thoughts out of her head, except for thoughts of her son. She thought of the bond she felt with him from the moment she knew she was pregnant, she thought of the rush of love that overwhelmed her when she first held him in her arms. She thought of all the times she and James had spent with the baby, loving him, nurturing him, watching him grow into a healthy, happy baby boy, despite everything the family had been through.
Lily thought of how James had shielded her and Harry, desperate to give them a chance to escape, he had sacrificed himself. Now Lily knew it was her turn to do the same. She stood tall and looked Voldemort straight in the eyes. 'Not Harry, please not Harry, take me, kill me instead, leave my son; kill me instead!' Voldemort glared impatiently. 'I don't want you, silly girl! You are of no use to me! I want your son's life now, so stand aside!'
Lily stood resolutely in front of the cot, refusing to move as Voldemort suddenly stepped closer and pointed his wand at Harry. Terror rose in Lily's heart again, she continued to plead, her face livid with anguish. 'Not Harry! Please, he's just a baby, please, have mercy, kill me, take me instead, just please, have mercy on my baby, I'm begging you! He's just a baby, please!'
Voldemort stared madly at the young woman who was pleading frantically for her son's life. He was filled with rage and contempt towards her. Part of him wanted to laugh that this woman thought she could make any difference if she died. He marvelled to think that once the mother was out of his way, he would kill the child, assuring his own future. He glared malevolently at Lily, who still stood firm and proud at her son's side. 'Very well Mrs Potter, go to your husband!' he cried, then he raised his wand and pointed it at Lily's chest.
Lily caught her breath, her heart hammering. She forced herself to concentrate on Harry and her love for him. She felt it deep inside her, as if it was part of her being. Something primal was firmly rooted in Lily's heart, the need of a mother to do anything for her child, even if that meant facing death. 'I love you Harry! I'll always love you!' Lily cried just as Voldemort screamed out the curse that would snuff out her life. 'Avada Kedavra!'
Lily saw the green ray of light rushing towards her. From somewhere in the distance she could hear Harry crying. Suddenly the light hit Lily Potter. It hit her square in the chest and, with one last thought for Harry in her mind, the light faded and everything went black. As the light dimmed Lily thought she saw James in the distance. The urge to be near him seized her. As if floating, Lily moved towards her husband. Beyond him she could see a white light. She felt his hand grasp hers and then the white light consumed them both.
Lily Potter was dead before her body hit the ground.
Voldemort watched Lily Potter's body fall to the floor in the nursery. As the body hit the ground with a distinctive thud, Voldemort screamed with laughter. Then slowly he stepped forward, his wand outstretched.
Voldemort looked down on the dark haired baby boy in the cot. The baby was crying loudly, his little features scrunched up as angry tears fell from his emerald eyes.
Voldemort sneered, 'Stop snivelling boy, you'll soon be back with your parents!' he cried viciously. Harry looked up at the face looming over his cot and cried louder, 'M-mama!' he sobbed, waving his little arms in the air to be picked up. Voldemort laughed, 'Your mother is dead boy, but you'll see her again in just a moment!'
Stepping closer to the cot, Voldemort reached down with his wand, pointing it at Harry Potter's tiny head. Without any hesitation or compassion for the child, Voldemort yelled 'Avada Kedavra!' A ray of green light flew from Voldemort's wand, reaching out towards the baby. The light touched the baby's head just for an instant and then the room flooded with intense heat and light as the spell seemed to reverse. The heat and light in the room seemed to explode suddenly, stretching up and out, blowing out the nursery window with a crash of glass, and then the whole cottage shook as more windows smashed and timbers and brickwork began to give way amid the intense power the reversing spell was generating.
Harry Potter stopped crying abruptly as the chaotic scenes around him began to unfold. He turned and stared at Voldemort, as if he was doing it deliberately. He met Voldemort's eyes. Voldemort gasped in horror, seeing a scar on the baby's forehead. It didn't bleed and it didn't appear to be a burn, it was a perfectly formed lightening shaped scar. As Voldemort looked down on the child he was filled with terror. The child had somehow survived the killing curse! Voldemort stared down at the baby in horrified disbelief, completely unable to find his voice.
The reversing spell filled the room with bright green light. The ceiling in the nursery began to creak ominously as dust and bits of plaster began to fall, some landing on the cot, some covering Lily Potter's dead body with a grey layer of dust. Then, the spell seemed to explode, literally lifting the roof of the cottage high into the air and then, as it landed, slates and wood crashed into the room smashing into anything in its path. Loud explosions and roars from the rest of the house suggested the cottage was about to collapse. All the time the reversing spell seemed to be gaining strength, generating more and more power.
Wave after wave of terror rushed in on Voldemort, his evil features twisting in fear. He tried to get out of the nursery, as more bricks, slate and timbers crashed all around him, covering Lily Potter's body and her son's cot almost completely. Voldemort reached the partially collapsed doorway of the nursery just as the reversing spell's power seemed to find an escape route from the room. Voldemort turned, seeing a rush of green light coming towards him. His eyes widened in terror, 'Nooooooooooooooo!' he screamed, as the curse knocked him off his feet and flat on his back. He screamed in agony, convulsing with pain as his skin and muscles seemed to shrink around his body, tightening up, making movement almost impossible.
The cottage continued to creak ominously, the roof exploded yet again, leaving the entire cottage exposed to the elements. Harry Potter began to cry again, clearly frightened as his cot was covered in rubble and dust. Voldemort looked up and screamed into the starlit night as, with all the strength he could muster, he crawled from the room, leaving Harry Potter screaming in his cot beside the body of his dead mother.
As Voldemort crawled away from the cottage, agony tormenting his whole body, the building seemed to rise dramatically. It sounded as if lightening had struck the cottage. Ceilings and walls finally gave up and collapsed in smouldering heaps of plaster and masonry all around what remained of the Potter's cherished home. Then, with a mighty roar the whole building seemed to crumble, all except for a couple of walls, which remained standing, as if acting as a monument to the rest of the house.
Voldemort crawled away as the chaos around him ceased. The night became silent and peaceful once more. Not a sound could be heard as the night began to give way to the earliest hours of the morning. Nothing indicated the violent, tragic events of that Halloween night except for the shattered ruin of a family home and the broken young lives concealed within.
