The picture had torn months ago. We went our own ways. We live our own lives. Except Edmund. I tried to look for him, and still try to save him. Wrong move. Now, I'm just injured and unable to seek help. I can't see the rest anymore. They probably think I've died. I am the one who left. The one who is trying to always do things right. I am Peter Pevensie.

This happened years ago, and I can't believe I'm still alive. Sooner or later I will die. I barley remember Susan's beautiful face, Lucy's courage and Edmund's trust. I've left them all. It all happened when I had gotten a letter that my little brother has been killed by our darkest enemy ; the White Witch. I looked for Edmund, to see if there was a possibility to save him. Maybe he was seriously injured. But I became the one who was seriously injured. I was riding with my horse, until a dwarf had took aim and shot my right arm. I let go, and fell. I pulled out the arrow, which had nearly gone through my whole arm, and moaned in pain. The horse had panicked and left me, leaving me in the forest. I had found a little village, but found out they had been attacked and left everything. I used it for hospitality.

That's my life now. Just trying to survive and eventually see the girls. But I'll never see my brother, ever again. He's gone, and there's nothing I can do. It's out of my hands. I just feel like falling. Whenever Lucy asked me, "Do you think there's a wonderful place for us?", that was the most ironic question I've heard. I really do think so, and there's going to be one. I hope so. I just hope Ed is watching over us. We were a family, but we're nothing without him.

If life is so complicated and people have to go through something like this, then why bother living it? Everyone is so desperate. So helpless. So alone. I don't even think if I can smile anymore. I just frown, and feel so hurt. I just wonder if there really is a wonderful place. Way better than I think it was when I was 7. Every single day I'm losing faith. I'm losing pieces of my heart. Ever since that first thought about everyone being safe, I can't forget how life is different without all of us. If I ever seen them again, I would definitely cry. I would do one immature thing and not be embarrassed. But the problem of doing that is, Susan would just yell at me, and tell me to stop.

But things are different now.

It's hard to believe that there are people smiling, laughing, and having a great time. But that's not me anymore. I'm the desperate one, who's trying to fight back at what destiny has chosen for me to have. I can't do those things I used to do. I'm lost inside. I'm even tempted to just give up and die. There's nothing even if I do survive. We'll always be missing the one who was lost, but came to our side. We'll be always missing a part of us. I don't even know if either Lucy or Susan has died. Maybe they have. Maybe if I do survive, I'll just find out I'm the last one standing. I'll never see them again. I'll never see Lucy's bright smile, or hear Susan's complaining about me acting younger than she is. I'd do anything to hear that now. To hear what's the difference between right and wrong, even if I have been taught that already. Another thing I'll be never the hear is Edmund's whining. Sure, it's annoying, but the old saying is right ; you don't know what you love until you've lost it. I just hope I'll survive to remember all of them. To remember what happened, what we thought. I know Lucy is happy, since she's with Aslan. I'm not even sure if Susan or Lucy remember me.

But I'll remember them, as long I'll remember everyone who leaves.