Sorry, still gotta shed a few more tears over this, but we're getting there. I swear things will pick up soon!

Thanks again for all your lovely comments – I thrive on them; it helps motivate me to write more.

NOTHING IS EVER THAT SIMPLE

By LetitiaRichards

Previously:

The upshot was that Sam was reluctantly granted access along with Major Davis to see the Colonel and to arrange for his transfer to a military hospital, namely the Academy hospital in the Springs or the SGC. She had to see Jack so that she could let him know that there was still hope for him, and that she loved him, regardless of what happened at his house that night.

Chapter 6 – Learning the Truth

When next Jack surfaced from the miasma of drugged sleep, he lay quietly, assessing his condition. He'd read the fear and the tragedy in Daniel's eyes, seen for himself the truth behind the glasses perched on his friend's nose. Now he was finding out for himself just how bad it really was.

The door opened and the doctor entered. He recognised him from before.

He vaguely wondered where Daniel had gone, but recalling that he was no longer in Kansas, as he would say, he sighed with regret that his friend would probably have been ordered back to the SGC by now.

"So, Colonel O'Neill. It's good to see you're awake again at last. I do apologise for having to sedate you before. I'm sure that Dr. Jackson meant well, but I won't have him upsetting you like that again."

Jack wondered what the man was talking about. Daniel hadn't upset him. Daniel was the one who was upset, but that was between him and the doctor, he remembered them arguing as he struggled to breathe. Was that the reason why Daniel or another one of his team wasn't sitting by his bed?

The doctor looked down at the folder in his hands and smiled as he flicked through the notes.

"Let me explain things to you again Colonel," he said, sitting down on the chair beside the bed and making himself comfortable. "You had a nasty car accident. Your vehicle rolled several times before coming to rest. The rescue services pulled you out of there, but I'm afraid you were severely injured. Your legs were broken in several places but we managed to fix them up as best we could; the broken ribs are healing nicely, and the punctured lung is okay now. Your arm was also broken so we've set that too. There is one more thing though Colonel, and that unfortunately is something that cannot be fixed. Unfortunately you broke your neck which damaged the spinal chord. I'm afraid you're paralysed from the neck down. You will be reliant on the respirator to help you breath for the rest of your life."

Jack gasped in horror at the full realisation. Thinking it was bad enough but actually hearing it straight from the horses mouth was worse. Saying it like that made it feel a whole lot worse. He was devastated to say the least. He looked for hope in the doctor's eyes but saw only confirmation. His life was effectively over. 'Oh god! Why hadn't they let him die?' he asked himself. He didn't want to live like this! No wonder Daniel couldn't tell him. Is that the real reason Daniel had left? Had his friend's deserted him?

"We're going to do one more important operation now that you are recovering from the fractures and are fully aware of the situation. We will perform a tracheotomy so that your breathing tube won't get in the way of your speaking or eating. Once you're over that then we will have to move you to somewhere where they are equipped to dealing with a quadriplegic patient."

Jack let the words wash over him. He didn't want this. That meant he was dead already, why couldn't they just turn off the machine keeping him alive? He'd do it himself if he could only move his hand. Come to think of it, why hadn't they let him go already? He'd been very specific in his will.

The doctor finished speaking and stood, patting him on the shoulder, though Jack never felt it. He fiddled with the IV again and left the room, calling back over his shoulder as he went.

"I've scheduled the operation for tomorrow Colonel. Pleasant dreams!"

Jack felt himself drifting, swirling back into the world of darkness again. He just couldn't keep his eyes open. Why did they keep putting him to sleep? He'd only just woken up for cryin' out loud. Then the thought occurred to him that perhaps they didn't want him to dwell on his prospects for too long. Not that he had any now. He'd lost everything. He'd never be able to go back to his home now. He would no longer have a job at the SGC; There would be no more USAF; his career was over, that was totally out of the equation. His 'life' was effectively over!

His friends. What of them? He hadn't seen any one of them since Daniel had left, and he couldn't actually ask about them. He felt abandoned and defeated and so alone. The world as he knew had come to an end. What was there left for him? Nothing! He wanted to die.

OoOoOoOoO

When Sam and Major Davis arrived at the hospital the next day they were told they couldn't see Jack because he was in surgery, explaining what the procedure they were performing was about. They were then told to come back tomorrow as the Colonel would not be up to having visitors until then, and only if the doctor saw fit.

They retreated to the nearby hotel where they had booked in and waited for the next day to arrive. By which time Sam was almost beside herself with worry.

OoOoOoOoO

Jack woke and tried to work his jaw a few times, it was stiff and his throat was sore from the tube. A nurse was nearby and although he couldn't say much through the dryness, he must have made some noise because she turned and smiled down at him.

"Colonel, it's good to see you're awake," she said as she spooned a few ice chips into his mouth and then a few more as he relished the feel of the cool crystals sliding down his parched and tender throat.

"Jack!" he articulated with a rusty grunt.

She looked puzzled so he swallowed and tried to explain. He felt he had no use for the military title any more. Not now.

"Jack, not Colonel!" His croaked reply was barely above a whisper.

Enlightenment fell and her smile deepened.

"Okay, Jack; I'm Ellie," she said, taking his pulse.

He knew that of course. He'd often seen her here taking care of him.

"I know!"

"I expect you're glad to get that tube out of your throat Col...er Jack," she said conversationally. "Now you'll be able to talk. It'll take a little bit of getting used to trying to talk while the ventilator is doing all the work."

He'd found that, trying to talk while the oxygen was blowing into his lungs for him. He was going to have to learn when he could and could not say the words.

"My...friends?" he asked, hesitantly, but the sound was lost somewhere in the rush of air from the tube so he had to repeat it. "My friends?"

Ellie looked sad. Unfortunately she'd seen this happen all too frequently when someone had ended up paralysed as he had been. Their so called friends had deserted them, mostly through their own embarrassment, unable to face the person who needed them most.

"I'm sorry Jack. There aren't any messages. And Dr. Jackson returned to Colorado a couple of days ago."

Jack had already realised that Daniel couldn't stay around indefinitely, neither of his friends - his team-mates - could. They all had important jobs to carry on with. The Goa'uld were still out there. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement, and Ellie carried on with her duties in silence.

Unknown to him just a few floors away, Sam and Major Davis were still trying to get in to see him, but were being turned away, yet again, by the doctor.

"I'm sorry, he's still too groggy to see anyone yet. I suggest you come back in a couple of days."

Sam tried and failed to argue that they needed to make arrangements for Jack's future, but the doctor had said that the things could be sorted out at a later date and that the Air Force were already making such arrangements through him. The most important thing right now was Jack's health. He needed to rest. It has been a terrible blow to his psyche and he needed time to adjust. Then and only then would he allow the man any visitors.

OoOoOoOoO

Davis and Sam tried several times over the next few days and all with the same results, except that they were told that Colonel O'Neill wasn't seeing anyone and didn't want to have any visitors at all. They would just have to give him time; he would come round in the end.

Meanwhile Jack had asked Ellie the same question every day that passed.

"Any messages?" he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer, anticipating the worst.

"I'm sorry Jack. There were no messages today."

After a week had gone by he knew what her answer would be. Always the same. Nobody had made any enquiries to ask how he was.

Jack felt his insides go cold, as she confirmed that no-one had phoned or called by, even though he was only actually feeling it figuratively. His team, even General Hammond it seemed, had abandoned him. Now he was stuck here on his own.

Well, they were better off without him, he guessed. Okay. If that's the way they wanted it, then it was alright by him. He didn't need them now, he was well rid of his, so called, friends. He would ask to be transferred to a nursing home somewhere far away. Somewhere, where they wouldn't find him, or bother him and he could in time forget them.

It broke his heart to think that way, and tears leaked from his dark ringed, and hollowed eyes. He closed them, shutting out the deep pain those thoughts had caused. He didn't think anything could hurt as much, not since Charlie had taken his heart with him when he'd died, but this did; cutting through him like a knife.

What bothered him most of all was that all important question, Why? Why hadn't they bothered? Was this all his fault, had he accidentally killed someone else? He still wasn't clear of all the facts of the accident yet. And he knew for a fact that he wasn't drunk; he'd stuck to coffee.

Why wasn't even the General here to make sure that his living will was carried out? Why was he being kept alive like this? He couldn't – didn't wasn't to live like this. But, try as he might to figure it out, it hurt too much to dwell on it, so he closed his mind against it.

Ellie pitied him but knew that he would resent such concern. He hadn't asked to be like this. It had just been bad luck. If she ever got the chance to see Dr. Jackson or the others again, then she would give them a piece of her mind for deserting him in his hour of desperate need. She saw him close off all emotions and pretending it was time for his wash, she rinsed away all trace of the tears he refused to acknowledge. Though she did admire the resolve she saw in him as he pushed the hurt away.

"Ellie," he whispered softly, looking up into her eyes. "Get me out of here! Please. Tell them I need to go somewhere, far away!"

TBC