Disclaimer: If I owned X, Yuuto would be mine, and mine only….
Ch.2 Therapy, Federal Offenses, and a Marker Named Mr. Chaos
Location: At the Office of Dr. Oswald Satyn, Psy.
"So what brings you here Mr.—err, Ms.—um…Nataku?" asked Dr. Satyn as he doodled on his notepad.
"My Daddy told me to find someone who'll listen to me," replied Nataku. It eyed the Doctor suspiciously. "Will you listen to me?"
Dr. Satyn smiled. "Of course (for a lovely $200 an hour, who can complain?)" The Doctor cleared his throat. "So, uh…your father. He doesn't listen to you?"
"Daddy ignores me until I do something evil."
"Like what?"
Nataku squinted at the wall trying to remember. "Well last Monday, I destroyed the Tokyo police station, stopped a truckload of Pocky from entering the city, called some woman ugly, stole all the packets of ketchup from a nearby Burger King, set fire to Kamui's spice garden, pushed some guy off Tokyo Tower—"
"Enough!" screamed the Doctor. "Umm, so what did your Father do?"
Nataku puffed out its chest in pride. "Daddy let me stay up with him to watch 'Friends'!"
Dr. Satyn doubled over. "Be strong, Oswald, 45 minutes more, and the money's yours," he murmured. "So let me get this straight…you destroy half of Tokyo, and your father lets you watch 'Friends'?"
Nataku shook its head. "Nope, sometimes he lets me watch 'Sex and the City'!"
Dr. Satyn stared.
"But lately Daddy's been ignoring me. He doesn't think I'm evil enough!" complained Nataku.
"Did you talk to your Father?" suggested the Doctor after a long, agonizing moment of self-reflective silence.
"About what?"
"About your feelings."
Nataku tilted its head in confusion. "I don't have feelings."
Dr. Satyn gaped. "But you love your Daddy."
"Yes."
"So you must have feelings."
Nataku blinked. "But I lack feelings."
The Doctor banged his head against his desk so that everything on it rattled as he groaned. Nataku, meanwhile only gazed calmly until the Doctor had finished his panic attack. "Nataku…let me tell you a story. When I was young, I wanted to be a karaoke pop star in Tennessee. But my parents didn't think I could do it. Well, I practiced hard, day after day, night after night, and I showed them! That's how I am as successful as I am today."
"How does that have to do with me and my Daddy?" queried Nataku. "And besides…you are not a pop star…you are a psychologist," it added blatantly.
Dr. Satyn hung his head in defeat. "Damn you, Mom and Dad! Damn your lectures of 'karaoke isn't music' and 'I don't want my son to be a whore' and 'why don't you feed your dog'!"
"Are you crying, Doctor?"
Dr. Satyn lowered his head to his desk. "It's going to be a long session…"
Location: Dragons of Earth Base
When Yuuto next entered Fuuma's throne room, he was surprised to find it completely covered with millions of white envelopes and boxes. At the center of it all sat Fuuma, who was laughing maniacally while scribbling a permanent black marker all over the letters.
"I didn't know we got fan mail!" chirped Yuuto with a smile.
Fuuma ignored Yuuto's voice, and continued smearing each letter with black ink. "Yes…escape with all your might, little letters, but not one of you is safe from my wrath. Together with my friend, Mr. Chaos, we shall destroy Tokyo!"
"Hmm?" asked Yuuto curiously as he approached Fuuma. "And who is Mr. Chaos?"
Fuuma hissed. "Back! Back you barbarian! Not a step closer! He's my friend, mine!" He then began snuggling the marker. "It's all right, Mr. Chaos, don't cry. I won't let the filthy infidel hurt you…"
Yuuto folded his arms and lifted an eyebrow. "Well you certainly seem cheerful today, 'Kamui'," he remarked happily. "You must have set all of Tokyo into a panic to be so perky."
"It wantsss to knowsss our evil plot, preciousss…" whispered Fuuma to the marker. He held the marker close to his ear as if he were having an intellectual conversation. "Yes. You think so? Couldn't hurt. Listen, I'll buy you those shoes you want tomorrow if you'll get off my case. Good…" Fuuma then glanced back up to Yuuto, who was sweat-dropping by now. "You! The Blond Infidel! Come admire my beautiful plot! For soon, you see, Tokyo will be turned upside down!"
Yuuto backed away, realizing that it was probably a bad idea to even walk in the room in the first place. "You know, that's quite all right! I've had quite enough evil for one day, so I'll just be finishing the yams and—"
"ADMIRE IT!" screamed Fuuma as he held 'Mr. Chaos' high in the air.
Yuuto sweat-dropped even more, and hesitantly approached a pile of letters that Fuuma had already marked, and grabbed one. He examined it very closely, but could find nothing wrong with it save for the black ink blotting out a portion on the front. He shrugged, opened the letter, and wordlessly scanned the contents.
"Well…what do you notice, Infidel?" whispered Fuuma with a glint in his crimson eyes.
Yuuto stammered. "Err…umm…I could be eligible for a free toaster oven if I talk to my doctor about Viagra?"
Fuuma's eyes began to burn impatiently. "No, Infidel! On the front! What do you see?"
The Water Master gaped at the front. He was losing his voice in the presence of this insane Fuuma. "…the return address is blotted out?"
Fuuma let out a wicked howl. "Isn't it purely evil?"
Yuuto blinked. "Let me get this cleared up. You stole all the mail in Tokyo only to blot out the return addresses…?"
Fuuma simpered. "Then we shall return the mail just as we found it…oh the sabotage, Mr. Chaos! The insanity!"
"That's your evil plot? You stole the mail, blotted out the return addresses, and then you'll return it?" exclaimed Yuuto skeptically.
"Tampering with the mail is a federal offense. Is it not malicious? Now go, leave us to our meddling!" cried Fuuma. "Bwahahahahahahaha! …oh, and don't break the boxes marked 'fragile' on your way out, they're delicate….BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Needless to say, poor Yuuto sprinted on his way out with shivers crawling down his spine. "What is with everyone today?" he exclaimed to no one in particular. "First the most depressive guy I know is jumping around like a toddler, and then my leader is speaking to inanimate objects! I'm confused." Yuuto hung his head. "I just want to take a hot bath and go to bed!" However, as he paced along the halls of the headquarters, Yuuto realized that there might actually be something wrong with them. "Maybe I should go ask Satsuki what's wrong."
Two steel doors slid apart from each other, and smoke roiled past his feet as Yuuto entered Beast's lair. The room, as usual, was so frigid that he feared the tips of his hair might freeze, and Yuuto was grateful to have his white overcoat. In far end of the chamber, sat Beast, its red light flaring with jealousy at the Water Master's approach. However, Yuuto's pace did not slow, and he kept his eyes locked on the young girl that lay encased inside the massive computer.
"Yuuto…" she remarked emotionlessly, as she removed the visor obscuring her face. "Is it tea-time, all ready?"
Yuuto did his best to keep his pleasant smile, although he could not hide his preoccupation. "Not quite, Satsuki. It seems that a rather annoying predicament has befallen us in our own base."
Satsuki's impression did not change, although there was a hint of interest in her icy eyes. "Oh?"
"First our Dreamseer awakes from his coma quite unexpectedly and sports boxers while giggling like a girl. And I don't know what it is, but 'Kamui' just seems off his game today. Do you think beast can analyze the situation?"
She blinked. "Boxers, huh?"
Yuuto's smile broadened in spite of himself. "You would expect the apocalypse to occur or something."
"The apocalypse?" Satsuki repeated with an arched eyebrow.
Yuuto sweat-dropped. "Irony has always been my friend."
"Just one moment…I will have Beast scan the Dreamseer and 'Kamui' for abnormalities…" replied Satsuki as she pulled the visor back over her eyes. The first images to appear on the monitor were of Kakyou, still unconscious and since the incident, strapped to the bed. "Damn, those are nice boxers…" she mumbled.
"What did you say?" queried Yuuto.
Instead of responding, she next analyzed images of Fuuma, who was desperately searching for something amid the sea of letters ("Mr. Chaos? Mr. Chaos! Where are you?").
"Beast has concluded the following: There is an alien chemical in the Dreamseer's blood that stimulates the Nervous System, which pulled him out of the coma. The drug most likely came from…"
Yuuto attentively listened as Satsuki explained, but while trying to stifle a yawn, two strong hands wrapped around his throat. "WHERE DID YOU TAKE MR. CHAOS?"
"…an intrusion of some kind, either by a hypodermic syringe, a dart, maybe an oral drug, but curiously, the same substance seems to have entered 'Kamui's' system while Beast does not conclude that such an intrusion was the cause of the latter case…"
"I…don't…have…him…" gasped Yuuto as he fought for air against Fuuma's hold. With what strength he had left, he plowed against Fuuma, sending him sprawling on the floor behind him. From Fuuma's pocket, rolled the permanent marker.
"Mr. Chaos?" exclaimed Fuuma excitedly.
Satsuki continued to drone on as Yuuto panted against the floor. "…that leaves the possibility that this drug can be transmitted from person to person from the infected one's blood, mouth to mouth contact…"
"Oh, Mr. Chaos! I'll never lose you again!" promised Fuuma, but suddenly his eyes began to water. "Aaaaaa….aaaaa…"
"…sexual intercourse…." Carried on Satsuki.
"AAAAACHOOOOOOO!" A terrible sneeze burst from Fuuma and all over Yuuto, who was still trying to regain his breath.
"…and sneezing," finished Satsuki.
"Come, Blond Infidel. Together we can help Mr. Chaos conquer Japan!" exclaimed Fuuma.
Yuuto quickly bowed. "As you wish, my Dark Priest! But first I must find the legendary, hidden city of the spider-monkeys!" He screamed, and together, Fuuma and the Water Master dashed out of the chamber.
"Hmm?" Satsuki focused closer onto Beast. "Yuuto, it seems Beast has tracked the one responsible for this drug. Do you wish to know? Yuuto?" The chamber was empty. "It seems that Yuuto has also been infected. Perhaps I should attempt to stop this drug…"
Beast: Or we could try to hack Vegas again.
Satsuki shrugged indifferently. "Okay, sure…"
So there's Chapter 2! What crazy, random terrors lie in store for our heroes next time? I'll give you a hint…Dragons of Heaven. (maniacal laughter)
