Disclaimer: If I owned X, I would abduct Subaru, cover him in aluminum foil, and make him sing annoying Disney songs ;P

Well I'm back with another twisted chapter! Btw, I read somewhere that creativity is closely linked to insanity. If that happens to be the case, I might be a queen of a rainbow kingdom in a galaxy far, far away! Anyway, I'd like to throw out a special thanks to those kind enough to review my demented rantings, for without you, I could be making a sandwich right now. Enjoy!

Luv,

Kakyou-luverx


Ch. 4 Meaty Wisdom and Pillow Plots

Location: Inside the Dragons of Earth Headquarters

Yuuto glanced around the corner of the next long, gloomy hall in the building. "It's quiet…too quiet…" he hissed. He slyly pulled out what remained of a candied yam from his overcoat, and cautiously whispered into it. "Agent Yuuto reporting…no, the lost mountain of eggs has not been found yet…understood, it's time to lock and load!"

Yuuto chucked the yam over his head and shouldered his index finger. "Encountering enemy activity! Shoot to kill!" he screamed. The Water Master leapt into the next hall, his finger aimed to straight ahead, but all that stood before his path was a neon exit sign flashing over a fire escape. He lowered his 'weapon' reluctantly. "The vault is unguarded…what heinous trap lies in store?"

"Yuuto…." Whispered a distant voice.

"Who said that?" cried Yuuto as his head darted in all directions. "Could it be my arch nemesis, Dr. Glubglub from Neptune?"

"No Yuuto…I am an angel sent to guide you along your dark and I shall reveal myself to my loyal follower so that you will not be lost…" Suddenly, Yuuto's vision began to spin, and several colors swirled around his head. While he swayed dizzily, the colors slowly began to form a strange figure, until the Water Master realized just what it was.

"A floating taco?" he cried.

The taco drifted around his head excitedly. "Agent Yuuto…I am the Magic Taco, the angel of the god you must serve…I come now offering tidings of meaty wisdom and counsel…"

Yuuto's mouth watered. "Mm…meaty wisdom…"

Magic Taco: I am an ethereal angel, the messenger of crunchy goodness! I am NOT for eating!

He whimpered. "But you're meaty and cheesy. And is that Volcano sauce on you?"

Magic Taco: A Magic Taco must look his best. Now listen carefully, Yuuto. Before you lies the gateway to the great unknown. It is there that you will find your god, who anxiously beckons for your arrival. Push open the gateway, and follow the light!

"Follow the light?" queried Yuuto as he walked forward.

The Magic Taco began to fade away. "Follow the light…"

Yuuto kept his eyes locked on the Magic Taco as he walked closer to a fire escape. "Follow the—OUCH!" Yuuto fell onto his back rubbing the side of his head.

Magic Taco: Follow the light…and don't hit the door…it's rather painful…

The Magic Taco faded, and the wavy colors disappeared before his eyes. Nonetheless, as he sat up, he found that his collision had managed to open the fire escape. The light poured into the gray building, and Yuuto shielded his eyes in awe.

"Oh wise Magic Taco! Your revelation has shown me the path to the light! I shall depart and do thy bidding!" declared Yuuto. The Water Master rose, and slowly exited the building.

However, just as Yuuto left, another voice sounded down the hallway. "Mr. Chaos! We must spread the word of destruction and have this entire town bow to your inky wrath of unwashable doom! We shall—" Fuuma stopped short when faced with the open fire escape. "This light…MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Success, my liege! The Blond Infidel has done it! The portal to the outside universe has been opened."

Fuuma sprinted toward the light. "It is time to spread your doom to every corner of this unsuspecting city. In every household, none shall escape the stains of your greatness. TOGETHER WE SHALL—" Fuuma sprinted off the fire escape landing and fell down the columns of stairs. "Ow! Ooh! Oof! MY GALLBLADDER!"

"Mr. Chaos…I got a booboo…."

Location: Under the Diet Building

Subaru limped off the elevator, wincing as he went. "Damn Poodle…I hope I haven't missed anything important," he mumbled to himself as he reached for the doorknob. "Princess Hinoto, I apologize for my—"

He opened the door to find Sorata in a yellow summer dress tiptoeing along the floorboard. "Don't step on the cracks…earthquakes…" he announced warily.

"MORE HAIR! NEED TO DYE MORE HAIR!" shrieked Yuzuriha, her trembling fingers dumping a bucket of white hair dye over her head.

"I've gotta lovely bunch of coconuts, deedleley-dee.." sang Hinoto.

Subaru stared. "…tardiness? What…what...w-w-w-ha…" He couldn't get any words out.

Suddenly a very pink Kamui was staring very close into his face. "My Fairy King has arrived! We shall strike terror into all pixie-kind!" He bellowed in laughter. "…my King?"

Subaru dashed back to the elevator, despite the poodle bite, and sat in a fetal position in the far corner. "Hokuto…I'm finally losing my mind…"

"Wait, my dearest King! Together, nothing can withstand our frilly wrath!" exclaimed Kamui as he chased after Subaru.

Yuzuriha shook excitedly, and followed after. "He had hair! I must color it!"

Sorata scratched his head thoughtfully. "Hair…rhymes with chair…and stair!" Sorata out of the chamber for the staircase. "Wait! I want a chair too!"

"Wait what about me?" cried Hinoto, who was sitting alone in the room. Following a long silence, she glanced around to see if she was alone. "This is the song that never ends…"

And thus more of our drugged heroes entered the outside world…

Location: Downtown Tokyo along some anonymous avenue…

Yuuto skipped happily down the sidewalk. "Gonna meet my master! Gonna meet my master!" He paused thoughtfully. "But where is my master?" He glanced over at a little girl licking a lollipop.

"Well hello there, little imp! Do you know where to find the god that the wise and all-knowing Magic Taco serves?"

"Are you baked, Mister?" she called out between licks.

"O mighty Magic Taco! Give me a sign of the one I must serve!" cried out Yuuto. Suddenly a Mountain Dew truck grumbled by over the street. Yuuto's eyes widened, and he chased after the truck. "My lord! Your servant has come!"

The truck rumbled down the street unheedingly. "Wait! I wish to serve you, master!" screamed Yuuto. He frantically outstretched his hands, but just as he did that, he managed to summon all the water from the nearby fire hydrants. The pressure of the water plowed into the front of the truck, and beaned the unsuspecting driver unconscious.

Yuuto fell on his knees and bowed. "Praise the Magic Taco, who has endowed me with the gift of water!"

The wheels of the Mountain Dew truck screeched, and it swerved into a nearby intersection taking out three SUVs, a police car, and a nearby Starbucks. As the sirens screamed into the air, and the people were yelling in panic, the back of the truck slid open to reveal stacks of Code Red twelve-packs.

Yuuto had found god.

Location: Looney Lenny's Pillow Depot

Seishirou carefully looked around him to make sure that no one was watching before entering the store. The bell on the door jingled, and the Sakurazukamori lifted his sunglasses and smiled at the aisles of pillows sitting before him. "Ah, just what I need. A nice pillow blow-out at Looney Lenny's to really get my blood boiling!"

However, as he approached aisle four, he heard sinister laughter, followed by a familiar voice. "Faster, Mr. Chaos! The destruction of this city is at hand!"

Seishirou peeked into the aisle to find all the pillows tossed carelessly to the floor. Fuuma giggled madly as he scribbled the black marker over one of the pillow tags. He then plucked the second tag from the pillow, threw it on a pile, and tossed the pillow over his shoulder.

Seishirou sweat-dropped. " I can explain why I'm here! You see—"

Fuuma glared at him. "You! Bend to the will of Mr. Chaos!"

Seishirou gaped. "Mr. …Chaos?"

Fuuma raised the marker into the air. "Why aren't you bending? Can you not see that we are immersed in a vile plot of destruction?"

"The pillows?" asked the Sakurazukamori.

Fuuma nodded with an evil smirk. "Yes…the pillows. What do you see?"

Seishirou kneeled down and stared at the pile of discarded tags that read:

Under Penalty of the Law, This Tag Is Not To Be Removed.

He blinked. "You pulled out the pillow tags?

"Mwahahahaha…" laughed Fuuma. "I have removed a tag under federal penalty, yes, but I have done something even more sinister to the tags that remain on the pillows…"

Seishirou examined one of the pillows to find that the words on the second tag were blotted out. "You crossed out the washing instructions?"

"It is all folding together. Soon all the pillows in this city will become dirty…too dirty. And yet when the need to wash them becomes dire…no one will be able to! Their little minds will explode with questions like 'do I wash this with cold water or warm?' and 'does it need a rinse cycle?' and 'what if it's dry clean only?' First the pillows…then the city is mine. HUAHAHAHAHA!"

Seishirou did his best to look encouraging. "Well, that's some evil plot there. Now I'll just be going to get a nice bagel…"

Fuuma narrowed his eyes at the Sakurazukamori, and snatched a pillow. "You know too much…now you must die…"

"What do you mean?" Instead of replying, Fuuma smashed the pillow down his head.

"DIE! FEEL THE COMBINED WRATH OF ME AND MR. CHAOS!" screamed Fuuma.

"Ow…that hurt." Rubbing his head, Seishirou reached up and grabbed the other end of the pillow as it came down for a second attack. "That's enough of that! What the hell happened to you!"

Fuuma pulled on the other side of the pillow with all his might. "Enemies of Mr. Chaos shall perish!"

All of the sudden, the pillow ripped open, and feather smothered both Fuuma and Seishirou. As they drifted over his head, they tickled Fuuma's nose. "AAACHOOO!"

The sneeze spattered Seishirou, who blinked irritably. "Now listen here! You…" He lost his words as the feathers rained over him, and an empty-minded smile spread over his face. Clenching his fists, he broke free of the feathers and stared out the store into the city. "The ducks have come! Quickly! I must shield my precious buttermuffin! SUBARU, I'M COMING!"

Meanwhile…

Location: Dragons of Earth Headquarters

Nataku stepped into the throne room. "Daddy? I've come to talk about my…" It peered down at a notepad that it had scribbled on. "…unresolved…feelings. Daddy? Where are you?"

And that's a wrap for chapter four.