Disclaimer: If I owned X, Kamui and Fuuma would be frozen beneath a four and half foot layer of green Jell-O so that they would be mine for all eternity ;)
Ah, yes, we're at chapter 7 and that can only mean one thing…straitjackets for everyone! They are rather form-fitting and comfortable, ya know . As always, thanks to my amazing reviewers and enjoy!
Luv,
Kakyou-luverx
Ch. 7 The Promised Day Has Come…Sorta
Location?
Martin, Destroyer of Tokyo chewed on a muffin as he finished setting up his new board game. "Damn the evil Wal-Mart dogs…these are Lemon Poppy Seed muffins!" he grumbled as he took another bite. He peered over the game board, apparently proud of himself. At the center of the board was a spinning dial that pointed to a wide variety of names.
"Muahahahahaha! The end of Tokyo is at hand!" he exclaimed as he swiped the dial from the board. "Now quickly, you inferior piece of cardboard! Give me one of the 'Kamui' s or face my endless wrath!" However, when he reached to spin the dial, it would not budge. "Arrgh! Impudent toy! Do you dare incur the fury of Martin, Destroyer of Tokyo?" Nonetheless, the dial would not move.
With of heavy sigh, he slipped on a pair of reading glasses and consulted the rules of the game. "Thank you for purchasing Possess-O, a Milton Bradley sensation! Warning: do not use if player contains a spleen, upon purchase buyer surrenders all body fluids upon death…blah blah blah, causes bizarre and ghastly sexual side effects when exposed to ham…ah, here we are! Directions! Step 1: set up board game!" He glanced down to find the game neatly assembled. "Step 2: capture…err, gather three more players for the game."
"Curses!" shouted Martin. "Oh, well, as long as I still get to be the thimble…" He whipped out three sheets of paper. "By my dark art, I shall create the new players!" He shouted into the sky.
He then kneeled down and scribbled three stick figures, writing the names Mary, George, and Cletis at the bottom. He cast the directions aside, and gave the dial a spin. "Come on Fuuma…come on!" he whispered to the dial as it slowed.
However, his face fell when the dial had stopped. "George Bush? Damn…uh, I mean that was Cletis' turn!" With those words, the stick figure drawing vanished in an apocalyptic explosion.
He clenched his fist menacingly at the board. "Just wait Tokyo…your doom is nigh!" His eyes went back to the spinner. "WHAT? Go to jail? Umm…Mary's turn?"
Location: Around the Dark Alley
Kamui frowned as he grimly straightened out his pink dress. "Then it is time to settle this once and for all!"
Fuuma's fist tightened around Mr. Chaos. "We will destroy the Pink Menace and take Tokyo as our own..."
Yuuto's eyes widened. "This is it…the battle to decide the fate of Tokyo, a spectacle deserving of reverence, awe, and respect… FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" joined in Sorata from the crate of wood shavings.
Kamui and Fuuma circled each other like two fierce sharks burning to eat one another alive. Fuuma was the first to strike. "That dress makes your thighs look fat."
Kamui groaned and doubled over in pain, while Yuuto and Sorata winced. "Always playing dirty…" growled Kamui. "But since you've been rolling around with that cheap sharpie, I'm sure you can't help it!"
Fuuma reeled back, holding his hand over his heart as he tried to regain his senses. "Curse you, Pink Menace!" He suddenly bent an ear down to the marker. "What's that, Mr. Chaos? Yes, he is a ten cent truck stop whore…"
The insult knocked Kamui into a wall, but he quickly picked himself back up. "Ten cents? TEN CENTS? You bitch!" He slapped Fuuma across the face.
Fuuma gingerly touched his cheek, his mouth wide with shock. "Oh, no you didn't!"
"Well?" exclaimed the other. "Are you gonna BRING IT, bitch?"
Before Kamui could get out another word, Fuuma had pounced on him, ripping on his pink hair by the roots.
Kamui struggled against him over the asphalt alleyway. "Is that…OW! All you've got? Tokyo's gonna be mine in a day at this rate!" With a hiss, he then dug his nails into Fuuma's neck.
"Aaaaah!" screamed Fuuma, but as Kamui maniacally clawed him, he managed to grapple hands, and snap one of his nails. "Tokyo's my city to bring doom over! Not some pink floozy!"
It was Kamui's turn to shriek, and he brought the tip of his index finger to his mouth. "I BROKE a NAIL!" he growled. "Oh! It's on!"
Location: Behind Little Vincent's Grocery…err, the Super Secret Kakyou Cave…
Kakyou looked through his hands, scanning for trouble behind a dumpster. "It's too quiet, Otis!" he exclaimed to the invisible golden hippo. "Somewhere out there someone needs our help!"
Suddenly his eyes widened, and he turned around. "It's the Kakyou Phone!" He jumped off the dumpster, and grabbed a rotten banana. "Captain Kakyou is here, Commissioner! What's that? No! She didn't! Well, I always said Denise would make a terrific mother…oh, yes, yes, those shoes are horrendous on her, but they match her purse so nicely. Well, I'm just an old-fashioned Superhero, but—"
As he glanced away from the dumpster he noticed that dark smoke from a fire of some kind was rising a block away.
"Listen, Commissioner, I'll have to call you back. No, I don't know when. No, you hang up first…no, you! Fine, one the count of three…one, two, three!" he tossed the banana away, and rose to his feet. "Quickly Otis! There isn't a moment to spare. We must take the Kakyou mobile!"
The Dreamseer rushed into the front of the dumpster where a shopping cart with a bent front wheel rested. He laid both hands on its edge, but appeared to hesitate. "Otis…did you fasten your seatbelt?... Excellent!" He then began to push the cart before jumping into it. As the cart rolled down the street, it emitted a terrible grinding sound from the bent wheel.
"Captain Kakyou, away!"
Location: Baskin Robbins
Black smoke drifted into the sky over the Baskin Robbins as the flames within smoldered to a greater size with each moment. The girl behind the counter, Stacie, shrieked while running wildly in circles, but in the middle of it all, Subaru and Yuzuriha happily ate their Shrek-themed ice cream.
"Yay! Sprinkles!" shouted the girl. Yuzuriha had spilt the rest of the bottle Subaru had handed her over her Puss' Praline ice cream, and was halfway finished slurping it when her vision became swirly and wavy. When she turned to Subaru, she blinked in surprise.
Subaru was downing a bucket of Shrek Strawberry when Yuzuriha gave a sharp scream. "INUKI!" She exclaimed, and wrapped her arms over the Onmyouji. "I thought you left to get Cheesy Bread without me again! Bad dog!"
"Dog?" Subaru stared down at his hands, another hallucination lurching forward, and found himself with paws. "I'm a dog!" he cried, and he got down on all fours. "Meow! Meow! Meow!"
She folded her arms crossly. "Bad! You know you're not supposed to leave me! I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson! We're going to have to go to Petco and get you a leash!"
Subaru looked up at her innocently. "Meow?"
"No!" dismissed Yuzuriha. "I don't care if you pulled Danny out from the well or rescued Farmer Brown from those circus mimes! We're going and that's final!"
Subaru bowed his head sadly. "Meow…"
Meanwhile, a shopping cart had just screeched its way into the view of the burning Baskin Robbins. Kakyou gasped. "Drat!" Still, he gazed at the burning store to find that Yuzuriha was exiting, the collar of Subaru's white coat in her firm grasp while he meowed after her.
"The fools!" denounced Kakyou. "When will they ever learn that fire and sugary, creamy corporate greed do not mix? I must stop their escape!"
"Help!" screamed Stacie, who wasn't quite smart enough to just walk out of the building. "Will anyone help me!"
Kakyou stared back at the store. "There are still innocents within! I must act!" He jumped out of the shopping cart and dashed towards Baskin Robbins. "Cover me, Otis!"
The Dreamseer took in a deep breath. "I don't know what sort of nefarious villain lies beyond this door. I have to be careful!" He burst through the doors. "Evil, your days are numbered! For I am CAPTAIN KAKYOU!"
"Help me! Get me out of here!" shrieked the girl as she ran back and forth behind the counter.
Kakyou watched in horror. "The twisted fiend! That corporate puppet is attacking that poor ice cream! Don't worry! I'll save you! Take THIS, you treacherous being!"
Stacie smiled. "Oh are you going to save me? Thank—"
Kakyou kicked her in the stomach, knocking all of the air out of her. Then he carefully picked up the last two buckets of ice cream that remained intact. "Come, we must escape this dungeon before it is too late!"
As Kakyou was rescuing the ice cream, someone else had arrived at the burning building (and no, it wasn't the firefighters…that's just too damn practical for this fic). Seishirou walked up to the back of the building, his eyes full of concern. "Subaru? I smell Subaru here…SUBARU!" As he was walking around the fire, he discovered that something had rolled out from the torched store.
He curiously picked the item off the ground, and read the label. "Heavy-duty Saran Wrap…" The Sakurazukamori's eyes lifted from the object when he heard Kakyou rushing out of the store. "YOU!" he shouted.
"Quiet! I must get this ice cream to safety!" admonished Kakyou. He lovingly stroked the ice cream buckets. "It's all right. You don't have to cry anymore…it's all over."
However, as Kakyou ran by, Seishirou snatched the ends of his hair, causing him and the ice cream to crash down to the ground. "WHERE'S MY SUBARU-KUN?"
Kakyou frantically tried to scoop the ice cream back into the buckets. "You're one of them! One of the wicked villains! Torture me if you will, I'll never tell!"
Seishirou crouched next to the Dreamseer. "Oh really? I can be very persuasive…" He then grabbed a handful of ice cream off the street.
Kakyou's eyes widened. "NO! That's Low-Carb Fiona Mint! You monster!"
"Tell me or else the ice cream gets it!"
Kakyou glared at him. "A malevolent witch transformed him into a dog and took him away!"
Seishirou slammed his fist on the ground. "Dammit! I'm too late!" However, as his other hand tightened, he remembered that he was still holding the Saran Wrap. He stared down at the label for a second time, and read the blurb below. "Ideal for sealing away leftovers and…Sand Witches! Tell me! Was she a Sand Witch?"
"Well she didn't have any sand with her…" confessed Kakyou.
"Then she MUST be!" exclaimed Seishirou. "Don't worry, Subaru-kun! I'll find that evil Sand Witch and seal her away for all eternity!" He turned back to Kakyou. "You! You're going to lead me to her!"
Kakyou blinked. "Join forces, you mean?...yes!" He rose from the ground. "With our combined skill, no one shall be left in the face of danger!"
Behind him Stacie gave a final call for help before Baskin Robbins collapsed in flames.
"The entire city, on our watch, will be saved!"
Location: Around the Dark Alley
"You're going down, Pink Menace! You're nothing more than a slut!" yelled Fuuma as he pushed Kamui back to the ground.
Kamui quickly recovered to shoot back at the other. "Is that a marker in your hand? It's so tiny I thought for a moment I might've ripped out your—"
"Well at least I'm not ugly!" interrupted Fuuma.
Kamui halted his fighting, and lowered his head, his eyes welling up with tears. "Ugly..?" When his eyes rose to meet Fuuma's they were crimson. "Ugly? UGLY! UGLY! UGLY!" He let out an angry cry as he lifted one hand, and a wave of energy flew past Fuuma's head and smashed into a nearby building.
"His powers have awakened!" exclaimed Yuuto.
Kamui was huffing and puffing over a shocked and confused Fuuma. "I…AM…THE FAIRY QUEEN!"
Fuuma unscrewed the cap of the marker. "It's time we got serious, Mr. Chaos!" He raised the tip of the marker into the sky. "Smite him, Mr. Chaos! SMITE HIM!"
Kamui let another hazardous wave of energy fly, but this time it did not miss.
Fuuma screamed as he hit the ground. "MR. CHAOS!"
And that's how I'm going to end the chapter! Aren't I evil? What will become of Fuuma and Mr. Chaos? Find out in chapter 8!
