Disclaimer: The last time I conspired to own X wasn't pretty…let's just say it involved a mass amount of seaweed and some sporks . (cry) If only it were mine…

So it's like this. I made a bet to lay off sugar for five days…and quite frankly, I can't take it anymore. The walls are laughing at me, I'm seeing vivid illusions of ice cream, and everywhere I go there's a chocolate bar winking at me…and it's only been one day. Pray for me, while you enjoy this sugar-free presentation of chapter ten of X madness!

Luv,

Kakyou-luverx


Ch.10 Friends Are Good

Location: Pet Toy Aisle

Fuuma stared down at the stuffed toy in his arms with alarm. "Mr. Huggles? Are you feeling all right?"

The creature irritably jumped out of Fuuma's hold, and laughed maniacally. "See me for what I am! I am Mar…" He trailed off to find himself staring up at the two 'Kamui's from the ground. He raised an accusing finger. "What sort of shrinking spell is…?" Again, Martin lost his words as another shocking discovery drew his attention: he didn't have an accusing finger.

He stared down at his hand to find that they were only gray stumps. He blinked. "What the…" His eyes went to the rest of his body, leaving him with yet another unfinished sentence. Today was a very difficult day for Martin. As he studied what he had become, his stomach lurched…well, that is, if he still had a stomach. He was inside the body of a deformed dog toy.

"Shit." Martin fell over in a panic attack. "Never trust Milton Bradley…"

However, Kamui was losing his patience. "You can no longer stall!" He turned to command the fish in the goldfish bowls. "Attack, my dark, otherworldly servants! Glub him! Glub him!" The fish only danced around in the water, but Kamui was howling wickedly. "It is too late to beg for mercy! Feel the wrath of the Fairy Queen!"

Fuuma, meanwhile, was more concerned with his 'Mr. Huggles'. His eyes were large and full of worry as he approached the stuffed animal. "Mr. Huggles! What's the matter with you?"

Martin lied on the floor, doing the best imitation of a fetal position that a stuffed animal could do, as he assessed the situation. The evil conqueror of Tokyo had been sealed inside the body of stuffed animal, and was currently surrounded by two drugged idiots. "Double-shit." He couldn't quite find a bright side to anything, but after a long pause of self-reflection, he rose to face Fuuma.

"'Mr. Huggles' is dead!" growled the animal. "Fear me, and my path of destruction, for I am MARTIN, DESTROYER OF TOKYO!"

Both 'Kamui's blinked. "Martin?" they exclaimed in unison.

"Yes, rue my name, for it shall bring death and anguish over you all!"

Fuuma continued to step closer to the ticked off stuffed animal. "Mr. Huggles!" However, that step was his last as Martin gave him a hard kick in the shin. Fuuma tumbled to the ground with a yelp. He gazed at the toy with a hurtful expression. "Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what you're doing right now?"

But Martin was already stomping off toward the Petco exit. "I…am…Martin."

Fuuma outstretched one arm, his face gleaming in hot tears. "Mr. Huggles…"

Location: Pet House Section

The light covering the entire area was still flickering ominously, adding to evil animals' glee. The guinea pigs and ferrets let out their high-pitched squeals of amusement as they scurried over the pet houses, looking down on their prey. Kakyou continued to struggle out of the leather leashes' hold to no avail as the unconscious Arashi's weight held the scratching post that they were tied to down.

The animals began to chant rhythmically over the two in anticipation for what was to become of them, their voices melding into one melodic beat. That rhythm quickened with every moment until their leader gave a sharp meow, and they silenced.

Subaru was planted on all fours over the highest pet tower, a wide grin playing across his face. "Meow! Mew-mew meow, mew meow!" He called to the invisible golden hippo.

(translation: Otis! Release the monsters!)

"Otis, don't do it!" protested Kakyou. But it was too late. A distant whine sounded as a cage door was thrown open, and the Dreamseer paled. Emerging all around the scratching post were dozens of baby turtles. The ferrets and guinea pigs were exhilarated. "You nefarious dog!" shouted Kakyou while the tiny reptiles slowly edged closer.

Subaru only giggled maliciously. The creatures resumed their chanting as the lights continued to flicker on and off with their voices. Subaru and the animals had won! The day was his! Nothing could stop him! He was immortal! He was—

"Inuki, bad dog!" exclaimed a shrill, annoying voice. Suddenly the lights came back on, and the furry creatures scurried away. Yuzuriha angrily climbed up to the tower, and threw a leash over the Omnyouji's neck. "You know you're supposed to vanquish your nemeses in a cliché fashion only on Thursdays!"

Subaru sweat-dropped. "Mew?"

Yuzuriha's hands went to her sides as her scowl deepened. "Well, I don't care if you're their king of darkness! You come down with me this second!" With a yank of the leash, Subaru plunged to the tile floors with a loud thud. Yuzuriha, oblivious to the other's pain or Kakyou's cries for help, began to drag him away from the pet house section. "Now come on, Inuki! I found the cutest doggie clothes ever!"

"Not so fast!" Yuzuriha whirled around to find a shadow staring her down. "You won't be taking him a step farther!" The shadow emerged into the light. "You evil Sand Witch!" Seishirou towered over her brandishing his trusty Saran Wrap.

Kakyou's face brightened. "You've come! I knew you would!"

However, the Sakurazukamori did not bat an eye at the Dreamseer. "You took him from me…now give him back!"

Yuzuriha glared at Seishirou. "Inuki is my dog! MINE!" she growled as she threw her arms over Subaru.

Seishirou's eyes were consumed by a maddened flare. "GIVE…ME…BACK…MY SUBARU-KUN!"

"You'll get Inuki when you pry him from my cold dead fingers!" shot back Yuzuriha.

He smiled with a homicidal glint in his eye, and began pulling out some Saran Wrap. "Oh really?"

Yuzuriha straightened. "Bring it on…OLD MAN!"

----seven screams, five moans, and twenty sheets of Saran Wrap later----

"Get back here! I'm not finished with you yet! Gimme my Inuki!" shrieked Yuzuriha as she wriggled in a Saran Wrap cocoon in a shopping cart. Seishirou stood there admiring his handiwork until he realized that Subaru was no longer in the vicinity.

"Blast!" cursed Seishirou before running off. "Come back! I must protect my darling Suby from all who will harm him!"

"Wait! No! Save me!" moaned Kakyou. Seishirou dashed away nonetheless, leaving him and Arashi alone to be slowly, but eventually consumed by confused baby turtles. Kakyou moped. "First Otis…and now you. No one wants to be Captain Kakyou's friend…"

Location: Pet Toy Aisle

Kamui was tapping his foot impatiently. "As I've been saying, Tokyo is mine…you will perish on this day by the Fairy Queen's—"

Fuuma remained weeping on the ground. "Mr. Huggles…come back…"

The other was beginning to become very cross. "When I make an evil threat I would at least expect you to listen to it! Now, then, I'm going to destroy you and your—"

"Please come back! I'm nothing without you!" he pleaded. "I can change!" Kamui bitterly slapped him across the face. Fuuma looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Mr. Huggles?"

"Mr. Huggles is gone, and he isn't coming back!" shouted Kamui. "And that doesn't change the fact that I'm still going to kill all of you and make you my pixie servants!" He paused thoughtfully. "Perhaps not in that order, though…"

"But Mr. Huggles…" continued on Fuuma.

A vein popped on Kamui's forehead. "Screw you. If you're more interested in your misshapen toy than my vile rantings, I'll just have to join this Martin and destroy Tokyo, so there!" He turned to the goldfish bowls. "Come, my servants, we must summon the Pink Minion and rain chaos and destruction over all of Tokyo!" he said before skipping away.

Location: Pet Treats Aisle

Sorata had never bothered to clean up the dog treats he was chewing on (not that he would have if he were still sane) but all the clutter in that aisle did not stop Subaru from find every container of catnip and spilling it onto the floor. Considering the Happy Dart disease, the hallucinogenic pills, not to mention all of the ice cream he had eaten, it probably was a bad idea. Not that it stopped him from rolling around in that massive pile of catnip.

Subaru was giggling uncontrollably, covered from head to toe in the stuff when Seishirou had found him. "SUBARU! At last!" he exclaimed as he embraced other.

The Omnyouji laughed hysterically. "MEW!" he screamed, and his laughter became louder (if that was possible).

Seishirou held the younger man so tight that his bouts of laughter became a struggle for air. "My Subaru-kun! What have they done to you? They transformed you into this…this beast!"

Subaru gasped for air in the Sakurazukamori's hold. "M-mew?"

"But Seishirou-san will make it all better!" He then released Subaru, and snatched a handful of cat treats. "With this magic elf powder, you will be free!" he shrieked at the top of his lungs as he pelted Subaru with the cat food.

Subaru coughed for air, but when he looked back up at Seishirou, everything was going wavy again. As his head was wrenched in all directions, the 'magic elf powder' suddenly lit up in a brilliant aura, and engulfed him. He let out a soft moan, the combination of the dizziness and hallucination too much. However, when he next blinked open his eyes, he was not spinning anymore.

Subaru stared at his hands in awe, no longer seeing himself as a dog. "I'm alive!" he exclaimed. "And I'm a real boy!"

Seishirou leaned forward with a seductive smile. "I'll say…"

(Author sweat-drops before smacking self…Seishirou's acting like Seishirou, and we can't have that as he is drugged .)

Subaru began another fit of laughter. "The ceiling! It tells funny jokes!"

Seishirou snatched Subaru's leash. "Now, my Subaru-kun! We must escape this evil place, for THEY are plotting against you…and we can get an ice cream too : p"

Subaru excitedly followed the leash's pull. "Weeee!"

Location: Pet House Section

Arashi groaned when consciousness poured back into her. "Wha…where am I?"

Kakyou whimpered at her back. "The turtles are coming…we're all going to die because no one likes me anymore!"

But to his surprise Arashi started laughing, the madness already settled in her eyes. "You can despair all you want, little man! But vicious, life-sucking turtles are no match for Arashi, Warrior Princess of Uranus!" She shouted while the baby turtles edged a little closer.

His eyes widened with hope. "Warrior Princess…then maybe…!"

"That's right! I'll destroy them all piece by piece with my sword! Muahahaha!" But suddenly she paled, realizing that she was swordless. "My sword! Where's my sword? Oh no, I'm going to die, strapped to this moron, someone help me!" she wailed.

A silence hovered over them as the turtles approached, their eyes now red and angry. Kakyou glanced wishfully at the panicking girl. "…Will you be my friend?"

"A warrior princess doesn't have friends! She has sidekicks and underlings!" replied Arashi as she struggled to get free.

"I'm already a superhero. I can be a warrior princess, too…honest!" begged Kakyou, his eyes innocent and pleading.

After a long while of useless squirming, she paused at length. "…fine."

Kakyou beamed. "I have a friend!" He glanced around him pensively as the turtles began growling at him. He brightened. "I know how to get out of here!"

Arashi whipped her head back to the Dreamseer. "Well, how?"

"Do you want to know?"

She gritted her teeth. "Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"…………………………………………….I forgot."

Arashi fell over, taking the entire scratching post with her, but strangely, she did not hear Kakyou fall to the ground. Out of nowhere, a delicate hand offered itself to her.

Kakyou was standing over her, free from the leather leashes. "You alright?"

Arashi stared. "You escaped!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

He smiled as he untied her. "That's 'cause Captain Kakyou has a friend!"

The instant he untied her, she leapt up proudly in the air holding onto his hand. "We the Warrior Princesses, will meet the evil turtle enemy in battle!"

Kakyou's eyes shimmered with desire. "But they have squeaky toys in aisle two!"

Arashi blinked. "Squeaky toys? Yay, let's go!" she yelled as she dragged the Dreamseer with her.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me? I'm still trapped in here!" screamed Yuzuriha from the shopping cart.

And all of the sudden, those bloodthirsty baby turtles found a new victim…

Location: Pet Accessories Aisle

Sorata stomped through the Petco aisles to find Fuuma crying on the floor. Sorata tilted his head curiously. "SAD? WHY?"

From the other side of the aisle, Arashi and Kakyou began cooing at all the stuffed toys around them. "I love squeaky toys!" exclaimed Kakyou happily.

Fuuma continued to sob. "Mr. Huggles…"

However, Sorata's eyes suddenly obtained a cat-like glow, and his voice had become distant and wise. "Listen, Fuuma. As long as you remain here away from reality, nothing will start and nothing will end. You must come back to us with a wish for the future."

Fuuma looked up. "A wish…will it come true?"

"That depends on you…" Sorata burped, and his eyes were back to normal again. "SORATA EAT BAD DOGGIE BONE?"

Fuuma, nevertheless, had pulled himself together. "A wish…of course. The future has yet to be decided!" He struck a dramatic pose. "I couldn't protect Mr. Chaos, but…Mr. Huggles. I want to bring Mr. Huggles back. That…is my wish."

And chapter 10 concludes! What will become of Kamui's plot to destroy Tokyo? How will Fuuma bring Mr. Huggles back? What the hell is wrong with Sorata? Find out next chapter!