It was the following week and Grace continued to settle in with Maria. It was Friday and Grace had just arrived home from school. She was tired and ready for the weekend. She was also looking forward to her mother coming home. School had been so-so this week and she wanted to speak to someone about it. This was unusual for her as she usually just kept everything in and let it build it and get worse before she exploded. She also had a lot of things going on in her head about some conversations her and her mother had briefly had. She wondered about her mother's live without her. She had had another child who had died. She didn't understand what stillborn was but knew what a miscarriage was. She also wondered about Liam's father.
Grace quickly went into the bedroom to get her homework finished. She hoped that by getting her homework finished, it would mean that she could spend more time with her mother when she returned from work. Just as Grace finished her last maths question, she heard the door open and Liam squealing for her. Grace stood up and walked into the living room.
She was surprised when she was met by her mother and Marcus. She hoped that it would just be her mother.
"We were thinking about going to the Trafford Centre tonight. Liam has outgrown his shoes and really needs new ones. Then we can go out for dinner" Maria said, and Grace just nodded. It wasn't like she could say anything to chance what was going to happen.
"Have you got much homework this weekend?" Maria asked as they made their way to Marcus' car.
"No, I just finished it the now" Grace said, and Maria smiled.
"Well done" She said kissing the girl on the head.
"Everything okay?" Maria asked noticing something slightly off with her daughter. Grace smiled and nodded. She was glad that her mother hadn't quite mastered her fake smile yet, she could get away with it for a bit longer.
It didn't take them too long to get to the Trafford Centre as they were going against the traffic. They arrived and Maria knew exactly where she wanted to go and dragged all of them to Clarks. They got a number and noticed it was going to be a little bit of a wait.
"Can I have a look around Hollister?" Grace asked and Maria nodded.
"Sure, but don't go any further. If you want to go somewhere else message me first" Maria said, and Grace agreed. She was getting pretty good at following her mother's instructions something she used to struggle with before. She hated people telling her what to do but it was different with her mother.
Grace went away and had a look around Hollister. She saw some things she liked and made a note of them. Hopefully, she'd get to come shopping again soon and use some of her birthday money. She had been really lucky and got some money from Audrey and Carla. She received a text from her mum saying that they were ready, so Grace went to find them.
They quickly had a look around Next before deciding on TGI Friday's for dinner. Grace was really happy as this was her favourite restaurants, but she didn't come her much. She quickly sat down and looked through the menu. Maria was amazed at how much the girl's confidence in reading had come on. Grace quickly read the menu and didn't rely on Maria for any support.
"Did you see anything you like at Hollister?" Maria asked.
"Yeah, I saw a few things" Grace mumbled nervously.
"Oh, you should have said. I would have come and had a look with you. You could have bought one of them" Maria said, and Grace shrugged.
"I want to come shopping with my birthday money" Grace said nervously.
"Oh, I almost forgot about that. Definitely, we can see if it's still open when we are finished" Maria said and Grace relaxed smiling.
"What are you having Liam?" Maria asked.
"Chicken Nuggets but Marcus said they are called something else" Liam shrugged, and Maria laughed. Her son was so predictable.
"What are you having missy?" Maria asked turning her attention back to Grace.
"I'm just going to have the cheeseburger" Grace said reluctantly.
"You don't have to have something off the kid's menu if you don't want to" Maria said.
"It's not that. It's just sometimes I'm still hungry afterwards" Grace admitted.
"Well you can have an adult's meal, or you can have a dessert?" Maria suggested.
"Can I have a kid's meal and then a dessert? I think it'll be okay because there are two types of kids meals so it's not like I'm having the same size meal as Liam" Grace admitted, and Maria smiled.
"Of course, baby" She said. They ate their main meals and Grace was glad that she went with the older children's meal as it was more than good enough for her. Once they finished, she did still have enough room for some dessert.
Once they finished their ice creams. Maria told Marcus that she and Grace were going to go to Hollister and asked him to keep Liam busy for the short time. Marcus agreed and Grace and Maria disappeared. They arrived in Hollister and Grace showed her mother the tops that she liked. Maria made the girl try them on before they decided to get both of them. Grace promised to give her mother the money when she arrived home. Maria nodded proud of her daughter for being so mindful of money.
They arrived home and Grace disappeared to her room saying that she was going to watch a film before going to bed as she was tired. Maria took this time to put Liam to bed before checking on Grace.
"Night sweetie, shout if you need anything" Maria said, and Grace nodded
"Is Marcus still here?" Grace asked and Maria nodded.
"Yeah, he is but he'll be going home shortly" Maria said as she kissed and tucked her daughter into bed. Grace nodded and got comfortable before starting the movie.
She watched the movie and was expecting to drift off to sleep during it. She was really tired but she just kept thinking about school and realised that the only way she was going to get a good night sleep was if she spoke to her mother.
She climbed out the bed and went into the living room to see if her mother was still there. With the lights all of, she quickly realised that her mother was in bed so walked over to her bedroom. She realised that she had never actually knocked on her mother's door while she had been sleeping. Maria always seemed to be awake or in the living room. Even during her nightmares, Maria would come to her.
Nervously Grace raised a hand and knocked on the door. She listened carefully, she wasn't sure what to expect. Was her mother a deep sleeper? She heard a noise more like a groan but opened the door anyway. She guessed her mother had been stunned by the noise. Opening the door, she got the fright of her life. Instead of seeing her mother sleeping like she expected, she had walked in on her mother and Marcus having sex.
Both Maria and Marcus froze, Maria was on the top and it was pretty obvious as to what they had been doing. Maria jumped off Marcus and started putting her clothes on. Marcus got up too, he started putting his clothes on too.
"I best go" Marcus said.
"I'm so sorry" Maria said. She felt bad making Marcus leave but he wasn't actually meant to be staying over. One thing had led to another and then suddenly they were in her bed. She had planned to speak to Grace about him staying over first before Marcus stayed over.
Maria wasn't sure how she was going to deal with Grace but knew that she needed to get to her daughter. She also needed to find out what the girl had needed. It really wasn't like Grace to come to her during the night so this worried the young mother.
Maria knocked on her daughter's door before going into the room. She saw that the girl was on her bed and pretending to sleep.
"I know you aren't sleeping" Maria said softly trying to encourage Grace to turn around. She was failing. Maria didn't know what to do so she simply lay back and pulled her daughter into her arms. Grace tried to stay as still as she could. She was mortified but she needed her mum just now. That power to comforted by her mother was too strong. Slowly and without looking up, Grace turned around and flopped against her mother's chest. She allowed the tears to slip down her face.
"Do you want to talk?" Maria asked. Grace shook her head. She wasn't ready, she just needed her mother to hold her. Maria agreed and they both drifted off to sleep. This was the first time that Maria had slept with her daughter, usually she would stay with Grace until she was sleeping and then went back to her own bed. She didn't dare to that tonight in case her daughter needed her again. She knew that due to the last event, Grace wouldn't be in a hurry to re-enter Maria's room.
The following day
Liam was the first one up on the Saturday morning and went in search of his mother. He did worry slightly when he couldn't find his mother in her room where she normal was early on a Saturday. He knew not to worry though, she would either be in the shower or maybe he had walked passed her but usually mum would call of him.
Liam was starting to worry now. He ran into his sister's room. She would keep him safe.
"Oh mummy, I have been looking for you" Liam said as he clambered up onto his sister's bed.
"Sorry buddy, I was with Grace last night" Maria said and Grace started to wake up as well. Grace got out of her bed and completely ignored her mother. She was embarrassed from last night and didn't know how to handle it. She made her way to the bathroom and decided to have a shower to gather her thoughts. This was a massive change, before a shower was not Grace's safe place, in fact it was the opposite. Not so much anymore.
Maria helped Liam get dressed and got his breakfast. She saw Grace return to her bedroom and decided to give her some time to herself. An hour later, once Liam was settled in front of the TV watching some Saturday morning cartoons, Maria knocked on her daughter's door before opening the door.
"Hey" Maria said as she came into the room and sat on the bottom of her daughter's bed near Grace's feet. Grace didn't reply. She felt stuck now, she couldn't get away.
"We need to speak about last night" Maria said, and Grace shook her head.
"We really don't. I know what I saw, and we definitely don't need to speak about it" Grace spat back.
"Grace, I'm sorry. One thing just led to another, he wasn't going to stay. I'm not doing things behind your back. You are my daughter and I want you to be comfortable here" Maria said.
"I'm not bothered that Marcus stayed. Honestly, I'm not. I've gotten used to Marcus, he is nice. I like him" Grace said softening. Maria nodded and it made her feel a bit better.
"I'm sorry you walked in on that last night" Maria said, and Grace shrugged.
"You aren't that old but I don't want to think of you and Marcus having sex. It was disgusting" Grace said and Maria laughed.
"Sorry" Maria said "I'm embarrassed too"
Grace looked at her mother and it made her realise that it wasn't just her that was affected by last night. Her mother was too, it wasn't what Maria had been expecting either.
"Did Marcus go home?" Grace asked and Maria nodded.
"Of course, he did, I had to make sure you were okay" Maria said shocked that the girl might have thought that he stayed.
"Obviously now if you are comfortable with him staying the night then he can start doing that, but it won't be unexpected especially at first. I'll always tell you first, last night we just got carried away" Maria said blushing and Grace laughed.
"Why did you come through last night?" Maria asked after a few minutes of silence. Grace bit her lip and looked nervously at her mother. She could see the worry in her mother's face, and it made her melt. She loved this look, but Grace still found it hard to speak.
"I wanted to talk to you" Grace admitted.
"Oh, what's up?" Maria asked getting comfortable by lifting her legs up onto the bed.
"Schools being rubbish this week" Grace stated. Maria nodded, she was proud of her daughter for telling her this.
"Oh, that's not good. How has that happened?" Maria asked.
"So basically someone's cousin is at the school I used to be at and like told her cousin how bad I used to be and then that girl started trying to encourage me to do bad things again. I didn't but it just really annoyed me. My friends were asking me about what it was like before and why I moved here. I just wanted to leave that behind" Grace explained, and Marie nodded.
"I understand its hard, you've only been at your new school, what 3 or 4 weeks now" Maria said, and Grace nodded.
"You have made some really good friends, maybe you could tell them about what happened before and why you came to live with me? Only the ones that you trust I mean. It might help to make them aware. They can also help you make sure that you stay on track too. It's helpful having friends looking out for you" Maria explained, and Grace nodded. It helped having someone to speak to. She was already feeling better, having just spoken for a few minutes with her mother.
"Em I don't know why I didn't tell you but well me and James broke up" Grace said shrugging it off. Maria nodded, she did think it was weird that her daughter hadn't said anything about a boyfriend.
"Oh that's a shame" Maria said and Grace shrugged.
"It's not really. He has made no effort to come and see me since I moved here and well he isn't the best role model anyway" Grace said and Maria smiled. She was proud of her daughter's sensibility.
"I'm really proud of you" Maria said kissing the girl on the top of the head. Grace smiled.
"What do you fancy doing today?" Maria asked and Grace shrugged.
"Liam has been going on about going swimming. Maybe we can do that today?" Grace asked and Maria nodded. She liked the idea of that.
They all got ready before heading to the local swimming pool. They arrived and it was so busy.
"Come on quickly" Maria said as she noticed a family changing room free.
"I'm not getting changed in front of both of you" Grace huffed.
"Grace, it's so busy. Look we will both look the other way. Please" Maria begged getting stressed. Grace agreed and quickly turned away. She got ready as asked and they went out to the poolside. Maria had a tight hold of Liam's hand. She was always nervous when she took the little boy swimming. Usually she preferred to have Marcus with her, but Marcus was working today.
"You'll need to help me with Liam" Maria said to Grace who nodded. She noticed that her mother seemed nervous and this made her worry.
"Are you okay Mum?" Grace asked nervously.
"Yeah sorry, I just get nervous that something might happen to Liam. I couldn't bare it if anything happened to you or Liam" Maria said and Grace put her arms around her mother.
"You will never lose me" Grace said and Maria smiled. She was so lucky with her children.
They had a really enjoyable time and Maria relaxed as the time went on. They all stayed together in the shallow bit and then they both took Liam into the wave machine. Once Liam was settled again at the children's area. Grace disappeared and went on some rides before finding her mother again.
It was soon time to get ready. They found two cubicles this time and Maria got Liam sorted first. She then gave him to Grace while she was putting her shoes on and then Maria got ready herself. They were starving so ended up going to the café for food while they were there. Both Grace and Liam were adamant that they wouldn't have managed to wait until they got home to eat.
Once they finished eating, they headed back to the square. It was nearly 3 o'clock in the afternoon by then. Liam went to play for a while and Maria watched a film with Grace.
"Mum can I ask you something?" Grace asked and Maria nodded.
"Of course, you can ask me anything" Maria said.
"I don't want to upset you and if you'd rather I can just google it" Grace said starting to panic.
"Hey, ask me first and if I don't know the answer, we can google it together" Maria said. Grace nodded and agreed.
"What does stillborn mean? Is it the same as a miscarriage?" Grace asked and Maria nodded. She couldn't believe that she hadn't checked that her daughter knew this the other day. It must have been going around in her daughter's head since then.
"So a miscarriage is when the baby passes before 24 weeks and stillborn is when the baby passes after 24 weeks" Maria explained and Grace nodded.
"When was he born?" Grace asked.
"It would have been his birthday next week. He was born 30th April" Maria explained and Grace nodded.
"I'm sorry mum" She admitted.
"It's okay. It hurts but time has helped" Maria said and Grace nodded.
"What happens with a stillborn?" Grace asked. She didn't have much of an understanding with miscarriages so this was a lot for her.
"So I found out that the baby's heart had stopped beating. I went home for a couple of days and then I went back into hospital to have the baby" Maria explained.
"Did you have to go into labour?" Grace asked still confused. Maria nodded.
"You do, miscarriages tend to be natural as well but sometimes you don't need to be in hospital as the foetus would be so small. Stillborn the baby is bigger. We had a funeral." Maria explained and Grace nodded.
"Maybe on his birthday, we can go to his grave" Grace asked and Maria smiled.
"That's a lovely idea" Maria said proud of her daughter. She pulled her daughter into her arms and they stayed like this. Liam then arrived and clambered onto the top of them. He snuggled in with her mother and sister until announcing that he was starving. Maria laughed before making dinner for them all.
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