It was the following week and Grace made sure to remember her little brother's birthday. On the morning of the 30th April. Grace got up early and made her way through to her mother's bedroom. She clambered into bed with the woman and cuddled into her. Maria smiled, she was proud of her daughter.
"Will you be okay today or do you want me to stay off school?" Grace asked. Maria could tell that the girl wasn't being cheeky, instead just really caring. Maria turned around and pulled her daughter into her arms.
"I'll be fine. I'll be kept busy because of work anyway" Maria explained, and Grace nodded.
"How old would he be?" Grace asked nervously.
"It would have been his 5th birthday" Maria said and Grace smiled.
"That's not that long between Liam and the baby" Grace said. She hadn't meant it in a bad way but was just wondering.
"It wasn't intentionally, and it was like 6 months between Paul's birth and Liam being conceived. I wasn't trying to get pregnant, it just happened. Just after you give birth, you are also a lot more fertile" Maria explained, and Grace nodded.
"What happened to Liam's dad?" Grace asked.
"He was hit by a car" Maria said.
"When about?" Grace asked.
"17th October 2008" Maria stated.
"So he didn't met Liam?" Grace asked and Maria shook her head.
"I told him I was pregnant before he got taken to the hospital" Maria explained. Maria could tell that Grace was thinking and very interested in what had happened. Maria didn't want Grace finding everything out from other people and worse not hearing the truth.
"Grace, Liam was killed on purpose" Maria said and Grace looked confused.
"Liam and Carla were having an affair and Carla's husband found out. He paid for someone to run Liam over. I was suspicious at first but then I became friends with him. He delivered Liam in a beach hut and not long after I found out that he was involved in Liam's death" Maria explained, and Grace's mouth almost hung open.
"How did you cope?" Grace whispered.
"I didn't. I wanted someone else to look after Liam. I thought that I couldn't be his mum, but they convinced me otherwise. In the end, I moved to Ireland for about half a year" Maria explained, and Grace nodded and clung to her mother.
"I'm sorry you went through that" Grace said.
"Oh baby, the past is the past, we can't change it. There are so much that I wish you didn't have to go through. That makes me feel worse than what I've gone through" Maria said pulling her daughter into her arms.
"You are such a caring girl" Maria said kissing the girl on the head.
"Only you get to see this side of me" Grace mumbled.
"I think you should let more people see this side of you" Maria said, and Grace smiled.
"I best get up now or I'll be late" Grace said, and Maria nodded.
"Good girl, and please baby if you have any questions about my past, I'd really like you to speak to me about it rather than listening to rumours and the internet" Maria admitted and Grace nodded.
"Are you hiding something then?" Grace asked and Maria shook her head.
"No, I'm not, I'd always be honest with you but I just have some connections with pretty crazy people" Maria said and Grace laughed.
Grace disappeared to her bedroom and finished getting ready. She said goodbye to her mother and Liam as she left. They were leaving only 10 minutes behind her.
Grace worried about her mother all day and texted her a couple of times just to check. As soon as the school day finished, Grace ran to the hairdressers.
"Mum, are you okay?" Grace asked and Maria nodded.
"I'm fine baby" Maria said as she was busy with her client.
"Why wouldn't your mum be?" Audrey asked noticing how it looked like Grace had literally ran the whole way from school.
"Cause it's my brother's birthday" Grace said with an "it's obvious" tone on her voice.
"Liam's birthday is in summer" Audrey said.
"No not Liam, Paul" Grace said, and Audrey nodded.
"I'm sorry Maria" Audrey said.
"I'm fine honestly" Maria said getting slightly annoyed. She knew her daughter was just being kind and helpful, but she was going on and on about it and it was making Maria feel even worse.
"Look Grace, I don't have a client just now. Why don't you come and get a biscuit with me?" Audrey suggested and Grace agreed. Audrey could tell that Maria was getting frustrated with Grace continually bringing Paul up. It wasn't the way that Maria coped with previous experiences.
"Did your mum talk to you about Paul?" Audrey asked and Grace nodded.
"Your mum doesn't talk about Paul or Liam a lot" Audrey said softly, and Grace nodded.
"I know and I didn't want her to be upset about it" Grace said confidently.
"It was a little while ago now and your mum has found ways to cope with how she feels. Of course, she gets upset on anniversaries, but she doesn't let it get to her" Audrey said, and Grace nodded.
"So, I shouldn't be speaking to her about it today?" Grace asked embarrassingly.
"I'm not saying don't speak about it. It was lovely of you to cuddle up with your mum this morning and check she was okay. She told me that she had cuddles with you today, but I didn't know why" Audrey said. Grace sniffled and Audrey felt bad that she had upset the girl.
"I'm not saying this to you to upset you" Audrey said.
"It's not that. I just wanted mum to know that she could speak to me because sometimes I want to talk about things that upset me, but no one asks me about it" Grace whispered.
"Oh darling" Audrey said as she went to put her arm around the girl. Grace cowered away closing herself off again. She needed to get away. She ran through to the main area of the salon and aimed for the door.
"Grace" Audrey shouted, and this put Maria on guard. She was at the door already having just seen a client out.
"Hey" Maria said as she caught the girl in her arms. Grace fought against her mother and Maria tried to keep a tight grip but lost hold of her daughter.
"What happened?" Maria asked Audrey.
"Well I was just speaking to her and saying perhaps not to keep going on about Liam and Paul. She seemed a little upset, then went on to say something about wanting to ask you about them in case it upset you because people don't ask her about things that upset her" Audrey said not understanding what was going on. Maria was puzzled as well.
"I'll send her a little message but I'm sure she's fine" Maria said even though inside she was really worried about her daughter. Maria continued with her last client and continually checked her phone still not having a reply from her daughter. As soon as her client left, Audrey allowed Maria to leave as well. It was clear that Maria's mind was preoccupied.
Maria arrived home and walked straight into her daughter's room. She had messaged her brother asking him to pick Liam up and give him his tea.
"What's up baby?" Maria asked as she sat down on Grace's bed. The girl was cuddled up in a ball. She didn't even look up when her mother spoke to her.
"I don't want to speak to you. Can you just leave me alone?" Grace asked and Maria nodded. She then left the house to get Liam. When she returned, she saw that Grace hadn't emerged from her bedroom. Maria quickly got to work making dinner for them all. She called them all through once it was ready. Luckily it was quick as she only had to heat the food up that she had prepped last night.
Grace didn't come through when called so Maria went to find her. She knocked on the door before opening it.
"Dinner time" Maria said but Grace shook her head and turned around.
"Come and eat" Maria said sternly.
"I'm not hungry" Grace said curling up in a ball again. Maria sighed and went back into the kitchen to eat with Liam. Once they finished eating, Maria tried again with Grace.
"I brought your dinner; you can eat it in your room this one time" Maria said and Grace shook her head and didn't even look up at her mother.
"What's wrong baby?" Maria said sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I'm not mad at you honestly. I was just busy today at work. I don't know what Audrey said to upset you so much" Maria said. She hated this especially as she wasn't sure what the issue was.
"I'm really proud of how caring you have been today; you've made me feel so much better. I usually just keep my feelings to myself, but I felt more able to tackle them today. I was just stressed at work, I wasn't mad that you asked how I was, yet I wasn't mad at Audrey for not realising it was Paul's birthday. I can deal with it all now" Maria explained but she still got nothing from Grace.
"Baby, I'm worried about what you told Audrey about people not asking you about things that upset you" Maria said. "What did you mean?"
"I don't want to talk. Please stop it. I just want to be left alone. I don't want anyone. I don't trust anyone. Leave me alone" Grace ranted yet barely above a whisper.
"Grace" Maria asked worriedly. She'd never seen the girl like this before. Maria nodded but left the food on the girl's desk. She knew the girl would be hungry.
Once Maria left Grace hide underneath her duvet and cried. She felt horrible today and she couldn't comprehend why. She had been fine until she realised why she cared so much about her mother's feelings today. She reluctantly ate her dinner as she was starving having not eaten all day. She had forgotten her lunch money as she had been so concerned about her mother.
Maria put Liam to bed and then went back in to see Grace. She hated her daughter being upset and her not being able to do anything about it. She checked on the girl but the girl didn't even lift her head from under the duvet. Maria went back into the living room until 9 o'clock when she couldn't last any longer. She changed into her pyjamas and get herself ready for bed.
Once ready for bed, Maria walked through to her daughter's room. Whether the girl liked it or not, Maria was not going to leave her. Maria climbed into bed with the girl and held her in her arms. Grace burst into tears and Maria kept mumbling words of reassurance into the girl's ear. Maria felt her own tears slip down her face. From the snuggle this morning, Maria never thought that they would be so much change in the girl in a day.
"Baby girl, please speak to me" Maria said and Grace shook her head. She shook her head strongly into her mother's chest. Maria knew that they weren't getting anywhere today so she just held her daughter even tighter in her arms. Grace rested her head against her mother's chest and so emotionally exhausted, drifted off to sleep.
