Disclaimer: If I owned X, I would seal Yuuto in a giant zip lock bag in a doorless cell equipped only with a package of oreos and a video camera. Mwaha, the possibilities….

It's chapter 17! The coolest chapter yet to be seen! I'm addicted to the coffee bean! Martin is mean! Sorata's hair is green! Thanks for reviewing! Makes me wanna sing! I am the rhyming queen!

Luv,-een!

Kakyou-luverx-een!


Ch. 17 Yo Quiero Taco Bell

Location: Walgreen's

Karen drummed her fingers against the check-out counter impatiently as the cashier slowly took one item after another from the giant pile she had clumped over the table. "All I'm saying is WHY NOT give the damn rabbit some Trix for once? God knows that they've got enough of—"

"Uh…uh-huh…" whimpered the Cashier. The poor teenager at the counter was shaking as she rung up the strange items before her. So far she had counted thirty-four packs of matches, twelve angry-mob sized torches, some J-ello pudding, eighty-three lighters, six gallons of oil, two sacks of coal, every flammable aerosol can known to the store, a package of firewood, and finally…Trix.

Karen slammed her fist into the table. "But nooo…those little brats keep the cereal to themselves. And that's just a little too suspicious for my blood. I mean, who would go to the jungle just to eat cereal? They're up to something and—"

"Umm…um, ma'am?" stammered the cashier. "The total comes to four-hundred and forty-two—"

"The government must be in on it too!" she continued to slur. "How can a group of American children sneak into the depths of an African jungle armed with nothing but milk and cereal? I'll tell ya…they're SPIES! Every last one of 'em! And the rabbit…it's a Russian aircraft wanting to get the secret formula all this time and—"

The Cashier hesitantly poked Karen on the shoulder. "M-m-ma'am…are you okay? You seem dazzled…"

Karen's eyes narrowed. "……dazzled?...DAZZLED! The BRAS sent you, didn't they? DIDN'T THEY? Well you're not getting my TRIX! DAAAAAZZZLEEEED!"

On that day, all those who gazed from Tokyo Tower could see a mushroom cloud rising in the distance. A mushroom cloud that soon took the eerie shape of a fuzzy cereal mascot.

Location: Taco Bell

"Yeah, I'll take a number nine, soft tacos, extra tomatoes, and…what is that?" exclaimed a Taco Bell patron at the front counter.

The store manager let out a disturbed moan as he poked his head around the corner. "Oh Christ…he's still here, isn't he?"

The customer blinked at the sight before him. "…………what's he doing?"

"He came in an hour ago to order a Taco and a soda, and since then, he's been bowing and raving…" groaned the Manager.

"OH WISE AND MAJESTIC MAGIC TACO! I SERVE YOU AND ONLY YOU UNTIL THE DAY OF MEATY JUDGEMENT!" screamed Yuuto as he bowed before his table. He had somehow fashioned a high pedestal on the edge of the table that seated a single, untouched Taco.

The Manager sweat-dropped and turned back to the customer. "You know what? Your order's on the house. Just take the tacos, run, and never speak a word of this to anyone!"

"Speak a word of what?" winked the customer. However, when he grabbed his tacos and turned to the condiment table for some fire sauce, he gasped. "Th-the fire sauce!"

Meanwhile the Manager, armed with a broom, stomped over to Yuuto's altar. "Okay buddy! It's time to haul your taco-worship'n ass out of this restaurant! This is a dignified family facility, dammit!"

Yuuto continued to bow to the Taco shrine. "BENEVELENT MAGIC TACO! YOUR DISCIPLE WORSHIPS YOUR IDOL, AND OBEYS YOUR COMMAND!" He abruptly broke away from his bowing position to drink from his soda.

"So that's how he's gonna play it, huh?" The Manager gave a solemn nod, and reached into his pocket for a walkie talkie. "Bring out…El Grande…."

The back door flew open, and a menacing shadow fell over Yuuto. The Water Master gulped. "…El Grande?"

The shadow growled.

Location: Dunkin' Donuts

Kakyou grinned in satisfaction once he had placed the last fork around the defeated Yuzuriha to make a plastic cage.

"I have contained the evil Sand Witch, for she is now sealed behind my impenetrable force field of which there is no escape!" declared the Dreamseer proudly. The moment he turned around, Yuzuriha moaned, and her arm knocked down the fork cage. Kakyou hung his head.

Arashi's eyes widened as she gazed at her partner's boxers. "Your boxers!" she cried. "They're vibrating!"

After a quick glance down, he paused thoughtfully for letting out a cry. "Oh! It's the Kakyou phone!" And he reached into a pocket (A/N: yes, the boxers conveniently have pockets) and produced the carrot. "Captain Kakyou, reading you loud and clear-bzzt! Over!" He pressed his ear against the carrot, and nodded to himself for a moment, but suddenly, his calm face exploded into panic. "WHAT?"

"What happened? What happened?" exclaimed Arashi.

Sorata sat gobbling down the last of his Yan Yan, his mouth covered in chocolate. "MMMF-FMMAMFA?"

Kakyou lowered the carrot, his beautiful features clearly distraught. "It's L.E.M.O.N.! They…they took a Special Friend's Zingers!"

Arashi gasped. "The brutality…"

Kakyou shook his head in disgust. "To have snatched away what was most sacred to a Special Friend…when will they learn? It could have only been the work of the Fairy Queen!"

Magic Taco: No…this sacrilege was perpetrated by my servant, Yuuto…even now, his acts are known to his master. The fool…

Arashi stared. "Yuu…to?"

Magic Taco: (Sigh) The Pink Minion!

"The traitorous fiend!" she shouted.

Kakyou put away the carrot. "Come, Special Friends, we haven't a moment to lose!"

But Arashi did not make a move. "You must continue without me! I gave my oath as a Warrior Princess to never rest until all of the gentle donut folk were liberated! And that is what I must do!"

Kakyou bowed dramatically. "Your cause is just and true! For the donut race is indeed great…then that leaves the two of us!"

Magic Taco: One. Come if you like…but this is personal. A showdown, meaty wrath versus meaty wrath, a death match over the fluorescent lighting of my shrine that is Taco Bell.

Sorata's eyes and voice suddenly faded back to normal. "SORATA WANT BURRITO!"

Magic Taco: U.U You just ate, you gelatinous tub of lard!

Kakyou rubbed his chin. "A quesadilla really would hit the spot about now…"

"BURRITO!" continued Sorata.

Magic Taco: Stuff it, you goddamn pile of shit!... Now onward, flesh monkey! So that the day shall be ours!

Location: Taco Bell

Yuuto stood to defend his taco idol. "By all that is sacred, I shall not let you defile this shrine!"

The Manager tsked. "Then you leave me no choice…forth, El Grande!" The shadow snarled and rushed forward, but with each step that it took, its form diminished against the brightly lit wall, until all that was left was—

"A baby rat!" cooed Yuuto at the Chihuahua that stood before him.

"Yo quiero Taco Bell…" replied the Chihuahua.

"Wee!" he squealed, and bent down to pat it on the head. "You talk…such a cute fluffy-wuffy sweetums! Oh yes you are! Yes you are! Can you say 'Yuuto'?"

"Yo quiero Taco Bell."

"Who's a good boy! WHO'S A GOOD BOY? You are! You precious little vermin! You—" Before the Water Master could speak another word, the Chihuahua plunged its teeth into his hand. "AAAH Get it off! Get it off! Get it offoffoffoffoffoff!"

As if on cue, the doors burst open to reveal two men in neatly pressed, black suits. The first man flashed a badge. "We're with the border patrol! Which one of you is Mr. H. Chihuahua?"

"Yo quiero Taco Bell!" responded the dog, Yuuto's hand still firmly between its teeth.

"Your visa has expired! Book 'em, Charlie!" The second officer stiffly approached the dog with a set of handcuffs.

"This is always the hardest part of the job…" remarked the first officer with remorse as the dog was pried from Yuuto.

"YO QUIERO TACO BELL!" protested the Chihuahua as he was dragged away.

"Tell it to the judge, pal!" And they were gone, leaving a pissed off, psychotic Water Master with a nervous manager.

The Manager shifted about uneasily, but clasped the handle of his broomstick tighter. "Well…I still have the broom." But before he had a chance to unleash his terrible broom powers, he was swept out the store by a jet of Code Red.

Yuuto jumped up and down rejoicing. "Now this Taco Sanctuary is mine! ALL MINE! And no one can stop me! NO ONE!"

Magic Taco: Think again!

At the door stood a possessed Sorata next to Kakyou. The two stared down their nemesis gravely, each side poised to fight to the death if necessary. Kakyou clenched his fists and solemnly stepped forward. Yuuto glared at Kakyou. Kakyou glared at Yuuto. And they had entered a mental stalemate that would prove lethal for the both of them with the slightest error…

Kakyou took a deep breath. "I'll have a cheese quesadilla…with a side of nachos…"

Sorata's eyes went back to normal. "BURRITO?"

Yuuto walked to the register and carefully inputted the order into the computer. "Would you like a drink with that?"

Kakyou smiled. "No, I'm good."

Yuuto diligently prepared the food as Kakyou waited at a table. "Order 496! One quesadilla, side of nachos and a burrito!"

"Oh goodie!" Kakyou grabbed the bag, and merrily skipped his way to the condiment table. However, once he reached it, he paled. "No…NO!" All the Fire Sauce had been stolen.

Yuuto leapt from the counter. "Teeheeheeheehee…" Both Sorata and Kakyou stared at him, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I mean…MWAHAHAHAHA!"

"The sauce! Give back the sauce!" cried the Dreamseer.

"Not a chance, Special Friends!" laughed Yuuto. "You'll have to get through me, first!"

Magic Taco: Then there's only one way to settle this…

Location: Gary's Gargantuan Golf-a-Rena

Martin held down a struggling octopus. "This one can't fail!" He yelled, his voice ringing with pride. Behind him was an elaborate trap that could have only been conceived from the mind of an evil genius.

It began with buckets of melted vanilla ice cream, followed by a pile of raw eggs. Next was a hazardous pool of cherry soda filled with angry, rabid sea otters, which finally led to the clutches of a rather irritated giant octopus. The plan was foolproof!

"Mwahahaha! MWAHAHAHA! I cannot lose!" The stuffed animal limped away, trying to hold in his charred stuffing from his last failed attempt.

Meanwhile, Kamui was sitting in a corner with a large stack of books. "If I cannot seek out this Waldo the old fashioned way, then I will study, and use very complicated, smart-people science to capture the elusive one! Hahaha!" He then turned to flip open the latest 'Where's Waldo?' book.

"Oh Kam—err, Fairy Queen! I've found Waldo!" called Martin.

His eyes lit up. "WALDO?" Kamui jumped to his feet and excitedly sprinted down the large golf castle.

On his way, he tripped over the buckets of ice cream, sending them rolling. One bucket crashed into the egg pile, and the eggs flew everywhere. Several more buckets splashed into the cherry soda pool, and the vicious sea otters, along with a red soda wave, were jettisoned straight at the octopus whose ink sprayed all across the castle walls.

Kamui indignantly brushed off his pink dress as the ruin unfolded before him. "Ow…" he whined. But when his lavender eyes fell on the castle floor before him, he saw something that he did not expect. Two eggs had splattered against the cheap plastic, and dripping around those eggs was the black ink. The otters were moaning in agony above the eggs. The vanilla ice cream had mixed with the cherry soda to create a vague stripe pattern. Now the eggs and ink sorta seemed like eyes and glasses, and the dying otters had created dark hair…all that combined with the stripes and it almost looked like…

Kamui screamed victoriously. "WALDO!"

A lovely end for demented chapter 17. Sadly Kakyou-luverx is lazy and will be away for another week. And do you know why? Because Kakyou-luverx will be shipped away to camp. God help us all.