Where Were You?

Headaches.

Everyone seemed to have them this morning, for whatever reason. Susan quietly surmised to herself (for the most part correctly!) that these headaches were brought on by an excess of spirits of the potable kind. She kept her conclusions to herself, however, despite wanting to rib Jerry and Malik about their night of wild Thai wedding fun.

Jerry and Malik staggered to work bleary-eyed and feeble.

Abby sided along with Susan in jocular fashion to tease the two suffering men.

"You guys look especially alive today."

Malik and Jerry would have none of it. They glared as much as they could with hangovers.

Abby grinned.

"So...what do Canadians do that is so great?"

Jerry rubbed his temples.

"Drink tons of beer, for one."

He edged closer to Abby.

"You'll never guess who I saw there."

Abby smiled in anticipation.

"Who?"

"Dr. Kovac."

She seemed genuinely surprised, or shocked.

Malik listened in on the anecdote, of which he had already been privy.

"I have it on good authority," Jerry continued, "that he went to church with her. Met her dad, too."

Jerry and Malik hummed "The Wedding March".

This annoyed Abby.

"Stop it, you guys!" she snapped and walked away.

Susan joined her.

"I'd take whatever they said with a grain of salt," Susan added. "Luka told me he was going home."

Abby wanted to believe her. She smiled.

"Yeah, Luka hates parties," Abby chuffed off. "There is no ounce of joy in that man!"

Susan didn't know if she should believe Abby or not but never really delved into the quiet man to contradict.

"I don't think he's...you know...standing on guard for thee."

Abby laughed.

"So, where were you last night?" Susan finally asked.

Abby became as pale as when Jerry told her he saw Luka.

"I went to the club. We already had reservations and I thought it was a shame to waste them, so...."

Susan frowned a little.

"Don't you think that maybe wasn't a good idea?"

Abby now turned to Susan.

"I don't remember you being my mom, Susan!"

With that, Abby walked away.

**

Luka staggered into work in very much the same manner Jerry and Malik did. He disappeared into the lounge to place his coat in his locker.

Kerry noticed Luka's fatigue.

"Did Luka pull another shift for someone?"

Susan approached the desk and stood beside her.

"No. Jerry and Malik said they saw him at Kowalski's party. I guess he must be hammered. That's weird because he said he wasn't going and he doesn't seem like the party kind of guy."

Kerry shook her head.

"Luka would know better than to fraternize with students, and certainly wouldn't "party" himself out."

Kerry shrugged.

"Perhaps- just perhaps- he met up with some old friends."

Susan shook her head.

"Not according to Malik and Jerry."

Luka emerged from the lounge and proceeded to see a patient with chest pain. He was more than weary and rubbed his shoulder compulsively.

"Here's what I think happened..." Kerry suggested and invited others into her vision.

Luka held his cigarette, smouldering like himself, limply in his hand. His hazel eyes gazed steely before him.

A partygoer leaned forward in order to engage him frankly.

"Let me be blunt, Dr. Kovac, is there a medical care crisis in America today?"

Ceila, with her hair done up in an attractive French roll and wearing a nicely tailored wintergreen ensemble, sat on the arm of Luka's chair and listened intently. A man with slicked back hair and rolled trousers was eating a peach and wanted to know what he was thinking, always what he was thinking...

"I don't think T.S. Eliot was there, Kerry," Susan negated.

Kerry shrugged.

"He's there in most of my fantasies. I don't know why."

Jerry joined in on the conversation.

"Here's what I can piece together..." Jerry added.

Luka had affected the sway of a man who had too much to drink and was now convinced that he was in the right place at the right time. He was feeling pretty good.

A tall bearded man approached the lanky Croat and slapped him jovially on the shoulder.

"Hey, man! You could use a tattoo!"

Luka smiled freely.

"Yeah, okay..."

No one could believe it.

Susan swivelled to Kerry.

"We might have to undress Dr. Kovac to prove it."

"I want a peek!" Kerry asked.

She wanted a peek!

Susan was a bit surprised to hear that but not too surprised. It wasn't as though she wanted to see Frank unclothed or anything.

"We need subterfuge, Kerry," Susan suggested.

"That's my middle name!" Kerry piped up.

And together they went to discover the "awful truth"' about Luka.

**

Abby saw that Luka was hunched over alone in an empty treatment room. He rubbed his temples and worked on a chart.

"Are you busy?"

Luka turned to her.

"No. What is it?"

"The chest pain's enzymes came in. No heart attack- yet."

Luka nodded.

"Thank you."

Luka returned to his chart and noted the patient's labs.

"Are you alright?" Abby asked.

Luka turned to her again.

"I'm fine. My head is a little sore. Work, you know."

Abby crossed her arms, disbelieving of his answer.

"You mean Kowalski?"

Luka sat up straight.

"What are you saying? That I spend too much time with her?"

Abby nodded.

"Yeah. I've seen you with her. She's your new pet project," she spat.

Luka stood up.

"Stop it! She is not a pet. She is not a project! She is a student here to learn, and I want to help her. She has the courage to learn!" He waved his arm tiredly. "And what do you care? You're happy, aren't you?"

Abby watched as he walked away, stung by his assumption.

She followed him.

"Luka, you're letting yourself go again!"

"It's none of your business, Abby!" he said back.

She grabbed his arm.

"Where were you?"

Luka stopped and looked at her simply.

"I wound up at church."

He walked away to work on his chart somewhere else.

**

Abby still felt stung by Luka's simple but lashed-out truth. Whatever he edged closer to, he moved from her. Her isolation began to feel complete.

Carter started his shift.

"Hey, Abby! I tried to call you last night! Your cell phone was turned off."

Abby faked a smile.

"Yeah, I was...tired. Work, you know."

Carter nodded warily.

"Not...drinking?"

"No!" Abby declared. She smiled warmly on him. "I'll make dinner tonight."

Carter smiled.

"Great! Maybe Italian."

Abby smiled again.

"I'll surprise you."

**

Kerry and Susan knocked on the equipment room door where Luka had found quiet refuge from the rush and noise.

"Um, Dr. Kovac," Kerry nervously started, "we need to... check if you're vaccinated."

"Hospital policy," Susan added, to which Kerry quickly agreed.

Luka's head flopped heavily on the gurney and he fell asleep.

Susan poked his arm. He did not move.

"I'll take his pants, you take his shirt," Kerry suggested.

"Agreed!" Susan conceded quickly.

Slowly and with muscle, they pushed Luka onto the gurney and removed his pants.

"No tattoo here."

Susan pulled his shirt down past his shoulder bone. She observed a dark bluish mark.

"What is that?"

Kerry moved in for a closer look.

"It's a...wolf's head."

They folded his clothes and looked on his half-naked form.

"He's in pretty good shape," Susan noted, her eyes glazing over him.

Kerry nodded.

"I'm going to take his pants for safe keeping."

Susan was again surprised. She thought she had nibs on his pants.

"Kerry, can we negotiate?"

**

Ceila rubbed her eyes. She slept too long. It was already three in the afternoon. She decided that she needed the rest. The Saturday had been too long. Now she was ready to resume the business that, as of late, had become her life. Ceila reached for her address book and punched in a new cell phone number.

**

Kerry heard Luka's cell phone go off but decided not to answer it. It was, perhaps, a private call and, though she may have checked out his half-naked form, she would be reluctant to intrude further into his privacy. She left the cell phone in his pocket and placed Luka's pants on a shelf.

**

Ceila hung up. Luka wasn't there. Maybe he had been called to a trauma. She sighed. He had left abruptly earlier that morning. She wanted to talk to him. Maybe clarify things. She felt that there was too much to be said but wasn't.

She lifted the blankets from herself and padded out of bed. There was still the housekeeping to be done.



**

Luka's eyes opened. He was staring at the ceiling of an empty treatment room. He was too familiar with it (as were many who had spent a long night in the ER). He sat up steadily. He was half-dressed and his pants were missing.

"Dammit!" he cussed. "Why does this keep happening to me?"

He scurried around the room for a pair of scrubs and having found a pair, he placed them on. He then went in earnest to discreetly look for the rest of his clothes.

He avoided the hospital staff, even going so far as to look away in a vain attempt to shield his face. It looked odd.

Malik and Conni passed Luka as he tried to remain inconspicuous.

"Somebody must have taken his pants again," Malik whispered to Conni.

She nodded in agreement.

**

The early evening sky was hued sporadically with the orange of the fading sun. Luka walked out of the hospital, still unable to locate his pants. Another thing bothered him. Actually, several things bothered him (his clothes being the least of his worries). People looked at him over their shoulders. They had many an occasion to do that. He was, after all, the "foreign guy", and his pants were taken from him again. But he could hear amid the regular din of the ER the churning of rumours. Why was he with her? Is she his new girlfriend? Co-workers could be so cruel.

"Dr. Kovac!"

Luka lifted his head. She was there, her hair not done up and was wearing baggy trousers and a t-shirt that hung off of her.

Ceila walked up to meet Luka. He nervously turned his head to see if anyone was watching.

Ceila had her hands in her pockets.

"You left right after Mass."

Luka nodded.

"I couldn't stay. I had to work."

Ceila nodded.

"I just wanted to thank you for coming last night."

Luka nodded haltingly.

She did not look directly at him.

"And for being understanding."

He knew she was referring to Carter's severe treatment of her.

"You didn't do anything wrong. You were too eager."

She smiled slightly. He did, too. She now looked at him.

"Dr. Kovac?"

"Yes?"

"Would you like some tea?" she offered.

Luka blanched and shook his head.

"No, I can't. I...."

Ceila looked conciliatory.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were busy. I'm sorry."

Luka shook his head again.

"No, it's not that. It's just that we should not talk outside of work."

Ceila tilted her head.

"What?"

She giggled a little.

"Dr. Kovac!"

Luka took on a serious expression. Ceila only kept smiling and giggling.

"I never thought you were one to worry about what others thought."

"I don't," Luka said coldly.

Ceila beamed gently.

"Then why aspire to their good opinion?"

Luka was still cold and sullen.

"What makes you think I do?"

"Oh, I don't know," Ceila shrugged. "Maybe how you keep looking around, your defensive stance, how your ears turn red when you aren't being truthful."

She stepped to the left of Luka, regarding him.

"Yep."

Luka scowled.

"I don't like being sized down."

"Sized up," she said.

"What?" he asked.

"Sized up is the expression," Ceila corrected him. "And I'm not sizing you up. I only notice things. That's all."

Ceila became serious.

"What are you worried about?"

Luka stopped being sullen.

"Nothing," he lied.

Ceila shook her head.

"That's not true."

She looked right into Luka's eyes.

"You're worried about what others might think. Don't. People will think what they want with or without the facts. And we have nothing to do with them."

Luka was as assured by her words as he was worried by them.

"We?"

Ceila stopped looking into Luka's eyes.

"I'm simply saying..."

Luka nodded, a little wary of her supposed meaning.

"Yes."

He placed his hands in his pockets.

"I should be going," he excused himself. "Busy day tomorrow."

Ceila looked at him again.

"Yes."

Luka started to walk away.

"Dr. Kovac?"

Luka stopped in his tracks once more.

Ceila faced him.

"I was wondering...." She looked uneasy.

"Yes?" Luka asked.

"I have this friend. He was looking for a new place to, you know, work, and I thought..."

Luka shook his head and smiled a politely.

"I'm sorry, I can't help like that. I don't...."

Ceila looked as though she understood.

"Oh no! I... You know, I thought, maybe you might know somebody or something and..."

Luka smiled.

"Yes. I do know somebody."

Ceila felt relieved and smiled back.

"This time I really must go," Luka said finally, and, without looking back, wished Ceila a good night.

Ceila waved back at him. She breathed easy and started off to the El train.

**

Abby sipped cranberry juice and peered out the window.

"Abby?"

She turned to Carter, who had since finished a piece of tiramisu cake.

"This was really nice," he said and pushed the plate away.

Abby did not smile or even look at Carter. She sat down opposite him.

"It's nothing. I bought it at the market," she muttered and sipped the juice.

Carter shrugged.

"It was still nice."

He leaned forward.

"What's bothering you?"

Abby put her juice down and looked at him wide-eyed.

"Nothing."

Carter disbelieved her.

"Work?"

Abby smiled quickly.

"Let's talk about something else."

*