Looking through the glass into the family room, Susan saw Sam and Suzie talking animatedly about something. Sam spotted her and quickly came to the door.
"She's a sweet girl, Susan," she said. Giving Susan's hand a quick squeeze, she headed back to work.
Suzie rose as Susan entered the room. "Isn't Mom back yet? It's getting awfully late."
"Ummm …. We need to talk about your mom," Susan said slowly. "These are two of my friends, Dr. Carter and Dr. Dubenko."
Suddenly wary, Suzie's glance flitted from Carter to Lucien and then back to Susan. And Susan didn't know what to say. How often had she broken this sort of news to family and friends? But Lucien had been right that day at lunch, she'd never really felt it; she never allowed herself to empathize, to feel what they were feeling. They'd been only words. Even with Luka, breaking the news to his father, she had rehearsed that one a thousand times before the real moment came. The words had been just as automatic, just as empty as when speaking to a stranger. And, of course, there had been several thousand miles of fiber-optic cable between her and Tata. She didn't have to look into his eyes.
It felt like hours, but was really only a moment before, to her relief, Lucien took over.
"Suzie, your mom had an accident. She was very badly hurt."
"No," Suzie interrupted confidently. "She's not hurt; she's just drunk. She gets drunk a lot … let her sleep it off for a few hours and she'll be fine."
"No, Suzie," Carter said gently. "She isn't just drunk. She had an accident with her car. I took care of her in the emergency room, and Dr. Dubenko took care of her in the operating room."
"Did she die?" The coldness of the question made Susan uncomfortable. This was a little girl asking about her mother, she should be showing more emotion.
"She didn't die," Lucien said. "But her injuries were very serious. It's going to be a long time before she's better, and she'll have to stay in the hospital for a while."
"But she can't!" Suzie shook her head. "She has a job. Aunt Susan, you told them about Mom's job, didn't you? We have to be in North Dakota by the day after tomorrow. They'll be so mad if she doesn't show up. You can fix her up, can't you? Mom always says that you're the best doctor in the world. You'll fix her up, I know you will."
"I can't," Susan finally interrupted. "I can't make her better, Suzie. But Dr. Dubenko is a really good surgeon. He did everything he could to fix her up. She will get better but it's going to take some time. And until she does get better she'll have to stay here."
"When I broke my arm I got to go right home after they put the cast on. Mom took care of me … I went to school. If Mom comes home, I can take care of her … I'm old enough."
"Her injuries are much worse than just a broken arm, Suzie," Carter said. "She is going to have to stay in the hospital for a while so we can take extra good care of her."
"But you can visit her while she's here," Lucien went on. "In fact, we can go upstairs and see her right now."
"Is she asking to see me?" Suzie asked.
"No, she's still asleep from the surgery. But you can see her, and you can talk to her."
Suzie sat back down on the couch. "I don't know." She gave Susan an anxious look, and Susan could see the first crack in her armor."Is she like … all cut up?"
"There are some cuts," Susan said. "Both from the accident and from where the surgeons had to cut to fix her up. But the cuts are covered with bandages. There are also some bruises, and a lot of tubes and wires … but she is still your mom."
"So she is gonna die," Suzie said bluntly. "You wouldn't be doing all this if she wasn't."
Lucien sat beside her. "We don't know what's going to happen, Suzie. She is very badly hurt, and yes, she could die. But I think you should go up and see her because if you don't you're just going to imagine that things are even worse than they are. Like your aunt said, she does have a lot of cuts and bruises, but she doesn't look all that bad. I think you'll feel better after you see her."
"I feel ok now," Suzie said, then bit her lip. She looked up at Susan and, for the first time a hint of nervousness came into her voice. "You'll come with me?"
"Of course I will."
"Ok, then," Suzie said. She rose and offered her hand to Susan.
Carter said, "If you two have got this, I'll get back to work."
"Sure," Dubenko said.
"And I was just thinking … maybe me and Sam could … you know …" A meaningful glance towards Suzie. "Alex might like it."
"Well have to see," Susan said. "And see what Wendell says."
In the elevator Lucien made quiet small-talk with Suzie, asking her about school. When the doors opened onto the surgical floor they started for recovery. Susan could feel Suzie dragging her feet as they walked together. At the door she hung back.
"I don't think I want to," she said. "I can wait until she wakes up."
"It may be awhile," Lucien said. "We aren't going to make you come in, but I really think you'll be glad if you do … and sorry if you don't."
"Ok," Suzie whispered, and the three of them entered the room.
Chloe looked just the same as she had before. For a long minute Suzie just looked at her, wide-eyed.
"When will she wake up?" she finally asked.
"I don't know," Lucien said. "Maybe tomorrow, maybe not for a few days."
"Did it hurt … when the accident happened? It looks like it did."
"She was probably knocked out right away. She hit her head pretty hard; she wouldn't have felt much pain. And when she does wake up we'll give her lots of medicine so she won't have much pain then either."
Just then the door opened and Wendell looked in. "Dr. Lewis?"
"I'll be right back," Susan told Suzie, and joined Wendell in the doorway.
"I was able to find her a group placement for tonight. Carlyle House, on Halstead. I'm hoping to be able to find her a foster placement tomorrow, but it may be a few days."
"Carter … Dr. Carter said that he and Sam might be able to take her."
Wendell shook her head. "That's not a possibility. They're not approved foster parents. They'd have to go through the whole training and approval process, and that takes a while. Carlyle House is the best I can offer right now. It's a good group home, there are about a dozen kids there, all around her age."
Susan looked back at her niece. Lucien was pointing out the various machines, patiently explaining everything to her. She had to smile. Lucien could be strange, sometimes rude and abrupt with adults, but he was, without question, wonderful with kids. Much better than she was, anyway. She'd always worked well with adults, connected with them. But not kids. Luka had been good with kids.
Wendell was still talking to her. " Dr. Lewis?"
"Yeah? What …"
"Someone from DCFS will be here in about an hour to take her. Will you tell her or shall I?"
"I … I'll do it. I'll take her down to the cafeteria, get her something to eat. And I'll tell her."
"Sounds good. I'll page you when they come, or you can page me if you need anything."
"Sure," Susan said. "Thanks, Wendell."
Susan rejoined Lucien and Suzie by the bed. "Are you ready to go, or do you want to stay a little longer?"
"I'm ready."
"I guess you must be getting pretty hungry."
"A little."
"What do you say we get some supper? I'm hungry."
"Ok, but after supper we have to go to the car."
"The car?"
"Mom's car," Suzie said impatiently.
"Why?"
"All my stuff is there. The suitcases with all my clothes."
Lucien jumped in again. "I showed you where your mom got burned in the accident, remember? There was a fire in the car. Everything inside the car got burnt up."
"All my stuff got burnt up?"
"I'm afraid so."
"But I'll need my pajamas. They got burnt up too?"
"Yup."
"And my bear?" The cocky, confident young adolescent was gone, and suddenly Suzie was a little girl again, and for the first time all afternoon there were tears in her eyes. "My bear was on the seat."
And Susan remembered that day, almost 9 years before, when she had searched the apartment, tears in her own eyes, looking for Suzie's lost bear. Mr. B had been the one familiar thing Suzie had taken with her to Phoenix. He'd grown increasingly tattered and ratty over the years, but he'd remained Suzie's security blanket through their many moves; her only anchor as her life with Chloe had spiraled downward.
"Even your bear," Susan said gently.
Suzie shook her head, desperation in her voice."But I need my stuff. How can I sleep without my pajamas?"
"We'll find you something to wear to bed tonight," Susan said. "And tomorrow we'll go shopping. I'll get you all new stuff. Even a new bear if you want one."
"It won't be the same …" The tears had spilled over.
"No, it won't be," Susan agreed. "Nothing's going to be the same. But we'll do the best we can."
"Will you get me those sneakers that light up when you walk?"
"Absolutely."
Suzie suddenly caught her around the waist in a fierce hug, and Susan looked over the top of her head to meet Lucien's surprised look. She gave a shrug and a half smile.
"Lucien, could you call Wendell for me … tell her I'm taking Suzie home."
"It would be a pleasure." He smiled back at her.
"Can we get McDonalds for dinner?" Suzie asked, releasing her grip.
"You had hamburgers for lunch, Suzie."
"I'll get chicken nuggets … and a chocolate shake."
"And a salad," Susan said firmly.
"Ok … a salad too."
