Set It All In Motion
Luka looked around Abby's apartment.
"Ummhhmmm."
Abby's eyes widened.
"What?"
Luka now looked at her.
"I'll need to drill a fixture in the ceiling in order to put the fan in."
Abby looked at him incredulously.
"You do?"
Luka nodded.
"Can't you just screw it on?" she quizzed.
Luka laughed a little and shook his head.
"No. Something has to carry the weight of it and then there is the matter of the wires." Luka scratched his head. "I could do it."
Abby now crossed her arms.
"Can you?"
Luka shrugged. He was placid and wistful.
"A year ago, you could have moved in with me. It's much cooler in my flat."
Abby threw her head back. Who knew that putting in a ceiling fan would rehash events?
"Luka..."
Luka shrugged again.
"I'm just saying."
She touched his chin.
"I'll still need a fan, though."
Luka smiled.
"I'll help you put it in this afternoon."
Abby smiled. She was safe- for now.
**
Kerry clutched her file and made her way into the surgeons' lounge. Romano was talking and laughing with a bespectacled browned-haired man. Romano turned his head and acknowledged Kerry.
"Ah, Kerry, let me have the pleasure of introducing a friend and a damn fine doctor, Rick McAllister. He'll be doing a tour in the battlefield you affectionately call the ER."
Kerry couldn't believe it. There would be another foot in the door in her ER. She would bite her tongue- for now.
"How do you do?"
McAllister smiled and extended his hand.
"Hey! I hear you get a lot of action, even of the teaching kind."
"It is a teaching hospital," Kerry answered. Duh.
McAllister laughed.
"I'm not one for hand-holding the kids but I'll give it my best shot."
McAllister's pager went off and he excused himself, smiling at Kerry as he did so.
Kerry shot Romano a dirty look.
"What favour did he do for you, Robert?"
Romano looked at Kerry with a surprised look on his face.
"What makes you think a shady deal went down in a backroom? I'm surprised at you, Kerry. I really am. No, Rick is an old college friend of mine."
"You have a friend?" Kerry sarcastically chuckled.
"Ha-ha," Romano snipped back drolly. "I do have feelings and yes, even friends. Anyway, Rick left Hudson Terrace Medical Centre for greener pastures and I was only too happy to oblige him. Besides, you hire Canadian orphans and pathologists from Maine."
"I didn't hire Kowalski and Dr. McDermott has a stellar reputation," Kerry corrected.
"But not with you," Romano returned.
Romano walked to the elevator.
"Look, you don't have to bend over backwards for him. Just treat him as you would anyone else. Show him the ropes. Invite him over for coffee."
Romano stepped into the elevator.
"I think he likes you."
Kerry had a look of mock surprise on her face as the doors shut. She would just have to take this on the chin as she would any other Romano-made screw- job.
**
Abby watched as Luka screwed in the support for the ceiling fan. He was so darn handy around the house, she thought. When he made his initial bid for her to live with him, he showed her how he would adjust things to facilitate- as he put it- her smallness. The apartment was built for people like Luka and Paul Bunyan but he would still lengthen the cupboards and strategically put step stools around the place.
"Do you need help?"
Just as Abby offered her assistance, Luka's hand slipped and he cried out in pain.
Abby gasped and went to him.
"Oh, sorry! Are you alright?"
Luka cussed and held his hand tightly.
Abby reached for him.
"Luka, what is it?"
"I cut my goddamn hand!" he snarled.
Abby wrapped his hurt hand in her kerchief and took his keys from the lamp- stand.
"I'll drive you to the ER. You'll need some stitches."
Luka pulled away from her.
"Come on, Luka," she tried to reason with him. "Don't be a child about this! I distracted you and you got hurt. It's the least I can do. And don't worry- I'll tell everybody you hurt your hand in a manly pursuit."
Luka shot a quick look at her.
"What?!"
**
The ER had drummed to virtual halt for the time being.
McAllister looked at the backboard. Carter was standing next to him.
"Slow day," Carter observed and replaced a chart.
"Are you normally this slow?" McAllister asked.
Carter laughed.
"Oh no! Far from it."
McAllister nodded.
"Good." He wriggled his fingers. "You know what they say- idle hands are the devil's workshop."
Kerry placed on a gown and drew Gallant to her.
McAllister smiled.
"At last, some action!"
"A simple MVA," Kerry said. "I just want Gallant to observe."
McAllister nodded.
"I am here to work, you know, Kerry."
Kerry nodded.
"Yeah. I know." Kerry collected herself. "But this is a teaching hospital and I would like our students to practice their skills."
McAllister was distracted by another voice.
"Doctor, I have a patient for you."
Abby walked into the ER clutching Luka's bleeding hand.
McAllister walked over to Luka.
"What happened here?" he asked.
"He hurt himself while drilling a hole in my ceiling." Abby smiled evilly. "And he didn't cry. Not once."
Luka returned her evil look with a burning one.
McAllister chuckled.
"Your secret is safe with me, Super-Man."
Luka rolled his eyes.
"Please don't trouble yourself. I could easily have Nurse Lockhart give me stitches. She is the reason I am here, after all."
Abby was stung.
"I said I was sorry," she said under her breath.
"It's no trouble," McAllister assured him. "It's why I'm here."
McAllister called a dark-haired girl over to him.
"Student Nurse... Kowalski?"
The dark-haired girl turned.
"Yes."
"I'll need you to assist on some stitches," McAllister explained.
Luka looked uncomfortable. A doctor he didn't know and a student nurse were about to treat him for a stupid mishap.
"Don't worry," Ceila reassured. "I can put the stitches in without you feeling it."
Luka allowed himself to smile.
"That would be good, Ceila."
Ceila, blushing, bit on her lower lip and led Luka to a treatment room.
**
Carter sat at a carrel behind the admittance desk. He saw Abby talking with Lydia, Chuny and Haleh.
"Abby!"
Carter walked out from behind the desk and joined Abby.
The other nurses resumed their duties.
"I didn't know you were on. You didn't tell me."
"I'm not. I'm here with Luka," she explained.
Carter became downcast and curious at the same time.
"No, he hurt himself putting in a hole in my ceiling."
Abby made clumsy hand gestures to illustrate Luka's accident.
Now Carter was more curious.
"Oh..."
Abby huffed.
"No! He was just...helping me put a ceiling fan in, I distracted him and he drove the drill into the side of his hand."
"Really?"
Abby frowned.
"Yes, Mom."
Abby crossed her arms.
"He's quite handy."
Carter smirked.
"And he's also letting Kowalski give him doe eyes."
Abby peered into the treatment room. Ceila was suturing Luka's hand, smiling and even laughing.
"They're not doe eyes," Abby denied. "They're... nurse eyes."
**
Luka now stared ahead of him. He flinched once.
"Sorry," Ceila apologized.
She cleared her throat.
"Dr. McAllister, should we administer a mild anaesthetic?" she asked.
Luka smiled.
"I'm fine."
"I might insist on it," McAllister insisted. "The nerves are too tender. If anything, you'll just be more comfortable- at least until Student Nurse Kowalski stops butchering your hand."
Luka was more affronted than Ceila. He could see the scarlet rise above the Canadian's pursed lips.
"She's not hurting me and her suturing is fine," Luka defended her.
McAllister said nothing. He simply threw away used gauze.
"I'll get something for the pain," McAllister said. "Ketamine should do the trick."
"I can't have ketamine," Luka warned. "I have an allergy to it. And I don't even want anything."
"Something topical, then," Ceila piped up.
"I'll do the doctoring," McAllister rasped at her and left for the drug lock-up.
Ceila continued suturing.
"That guy is riding my ass!"
Luka breathed softly.
"He is new. And I hear Dr. Romano had him hired. That says everything."
"Yeah," Ceila smirked.
Ceila's touch was gentle. Luka felt almost relaxed despite his injury.
"You left early this morning," Ceila said softly.
"I had to help Abby with something," Luka admitted.
Ceila's brow furrowed.
"What?"
"She needed something fixed," Luka answered.
Ceila continued to suture.
"It seems that every time you try to help her with something you end up getting hurt," she noticed.
Luka locked his jaw.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Their conversation was interrupted by McAllister's return. He had a vial and placed it on the treatment tray.
Ceila looked at the vial and shook her head.
"No, Dr. McAllister, this isn't ketamine. It's BZD. I suppose the pharmacy made a mistake and sent too much that down here. "
The man looked mortified.
"Oh," he said uneasily. "Someone should keep them in check."
"I really don't need anything," Luka insisted.
"I think it's best," McAllister returned and left for the drug lock-up once more.
Luka was frustrated.
"Am I invisible?"
Ceila rolled her eyes.
"To him you are!" She dabbed Luka's wound with cotton. "He should just give you something topical and be done with it!"
Luka smiled.
"He doesn't know what he is doing but you do," he snarked and gave Ceila a small thumbs-up.
She grinned.
**
McAllister paced back to the lock-up. Damn that brat, he thought. He opened the cupboard door and reached for some topical analgesic or even a minor dose of ketalar or haloperidol if it made that Euro-doctor feel better.
"Dr. McAllister?"
McAllister turned his head and reached into the cupboard.
"Yes?"
Haleh addressed him in the hall.
"Dr. Weaver has some forms she's like to go over with you when you've got the time."
McAllister nodded and clutched a vial.
"Yes. Thank you."
McAllister casually tossed the vial in the air and caught it. Best to finish things before it got really busy, he thought.
**
"I'm back!" McAllister smiled.
"I think the stitches are a little too tight," Luka observed.
Ceila seemed taken aback.
"I tried to make them small, not taut."
McAllister looked at Luka's hand.
"No. This is swelling. I'm going to relax the muscle and then apply a cold compress. That should reduce the swelling."
McAllister put some of the contents of the vial in a syringe.
"For the last time, I don't need an injection, Doctor," Luka refused.
"A topical's just not going to do it, Dr. Kovac," McAllister said as he grabbed Luka's wrist and injected the wound site. "You'll thank me when it doesn't hurt!"
Luka tried to pull back and stood up.
"What is it?!"
"Ketalar. Just a small dose. Don't worry," McAllister assured.
Luka sat back down.
"It doesn't look like it."
"You won't feel a thing," McAllister assured him.
Luka became gradually slack.
McAllister placed the used vial and syringe on the treatment tray.
"All done!"
McAllister turned to leave.
"Good work, nurse. Get Dr. Kovac a cold compress and finish the chart."
Ceila nodded uneasily.
"What a jerk-off!" she declared. "You told him you didn't want anything!"
Ceila now looked into Luka's eyes carefully.
"Luka?"
"It's hot in here," he replied quietly.
Luka's eyes were glassy and he slouched.
"Your pupils are dilated," she said. "Would you like to talk to another doctor?"
Luka shook his head uneasily.
Ceila now put her hands on her hips
"Well, whatever he gave you worked."
She started to clean up.
"It's hot in here," Luka repeated and removed his jacket.
"It's May and we're on the verge of summer, Luka," Ceila said as she threw away the rest of the used gauze. "I'll get you something to drink, if you like."
Luka's slouch became more pronounced.
Ceila turned to him. Her brow furrowed.
"Luka, are you alright?"
Ceila touched his skin. It was clammy and slowly draining of its warm olive colour.
"Luka?"
Luka exhaled difficult breath. His neck was like a flaccid stalk of corn. His head wobbled back and his muscles were too relaxed. He awkwardly swivelled his head to her.
"Plava oci."
His long fingers brushed her eyelashes gently.
"Luka, I'm going to get Dr. McAllister now," Ceila said softly. "Stay here, okay?"
Luka clasped her wrist tightly.
"No, don't go."
Luka stumbled upright.
"Somebody!" Ceila cried out.
Luka struggled to breathe but his muscles began to tense up again. His grip started to hurt Ceila's wrist.
"Luka, let go."
"Don't leave..." he panted.
Malik entered the room.
"Hey! What's up?"
"Find Dr. McAllister, Malik," Ceila said without removing her eyes from Luka. "Right now."
Malik furrowed his brow.
"What's wrong?" he asked. He now looked at Luka. "Hey, Dr. Kovac, you're not looking so good."
Luka burned Malik with a glassy glare.
"Stay away from me!"
Malik moved carefully to Luka.
"Dr. Kovac?"
Luka swung at Malik and sent him flying.
"Stay away from me!!"
**
Carter and Abby had been alerted to the sound of crashing in the treatment room. They ran in only to see Luka keeping everyone at bay with bleeding scarred hand.
"Stay away from me!"
Malik crawled back up, nursing a bleeding lip.
"He hit me!"
"He's altered!" Ceila cried.
"Get four of haloperidol, Abby," Carter advised sotto voce.
Abby slipped out of the room to get haloperidol.
Carter had his eyes locked on the manic Luka.
"Ceila, what did you give him?"
"I didn't give him anything...." she denied.
Before Ceila could finish explaining herself, Luka rushed Carter. He and Malik tried to restrain him. Carter had to virtually jump on top of him to stop him from fighting back. Luka fell against the wall but still pounded at the two men.
"Stay away from me!" he screamed.
Abby slipped between them and injected Luka with the haloperidol. The men let go of Luka. Luka propelled himself forward and staggered for a bit. He stared at Abby dumbly, flailed for a bit and fell into her arms. Ceila dropped to her knees and tried to examine Luka.
Haleh rushed into the treatment room. Everyone was breathless from exertions. Luka, she saw, had collapsed. His hair was drenched with sweat and his pallor was flushed. His hand was bleeding anew. He breathed with great difficulty.
"What happened?"
Abby could only look at Haleh helplessly.
"I don't know."
She cradled Luka in her arms. He panted for a bit and stopped convulsing.
Abby jogged the fallen man's head.
"Luka? Luka?"
Luka was still having trouble breathing.
"Get a crash cart now!" Carter yelled.
Luka was placed on a gurney and immediately all hands were over him. He started convulsing again.
"He's tachying at 140!" Abby cried.
"Blood pressure down to forty!" Ceila supplied.
Carter looked for pupil reaction.
"Ceila, step away from Dr. Kovac, now!"
Ceila's jaw fell. She stepped away from Luka and watched as the others tried to save him.
"I need to know what he was given!" Carter demanded. "Haleh, tox screen, arterial blood gas and chem seven. Where the hell is Dr. McAllister?!" Carter cried out. "Push 1 mg of Diprovan! We have to intubate!"
Abby was frustrated.
"He has to stop convulsing first."
Carter looked quickly at Ceila.
"What did you give him?"
Ceila shot a quick look at him.
"I didn't give him anything!"
"Dammit, Ceila! What was he given?!" Carter yelled.
"I don't know! Dr. McAllister said he gave him a shot of ketalar!"
Abby looked at her in horror.
"Ketalar? He has an allergy to ketamine!"
"I know," Ceila returned. "But Dr. McAllister gave him a dose, anyway. I don't think it was enough to hurt him."
"How much?" Carter demanded.
"What?" Ceila asked.
"How much?!" Carter demanded again.
"I don't know!" Ceila yelled back.
Haleh became flushed.
"There are no traces of ketamine."
Carter bit the inside of his cheek. He glared briefly at Ceila.
"I need to stop the convulsions," Carter said in measured rage. "Prepare a naloxene push. We have to flush whatever it is out of him."
"He's turning blue, John," Abby said in a broken voice. "His airway is compromised."
"Let me intubate," Ceila pleaded.
"I'm not letting you near him," Carter rasped. "A tube and forty of sux!" he demanded.
"He's still tachycardiac," Haleh said.
"I would be, too, if someone injected me with a drug I was allergic to," Carter sniped.
A nurse burst into the trauma room.
"Dr. McAllister just accompanied a patient to surgery."
"Shit!" Carter cussed under his breath. "Get him down here, will you?"
Luka threw a grand mal seizure. His back arched, the cords of his neck stood out and a scream tried to eke itself out of his throat. He fell back limp and moved no more.
"Prep the defibrillators to 340!"
Haleh pushed the sux and Carter intubated him. Abby prepared the defibrillators.
"Clear!" Carter cried and applied the defibrillators to Luka's chest.
Haleh looked quickly at the monitor.
"Nothing!"
"Again!" Carter cried and shocked Luka once more.
The monitor emitted a relieving beep.
"We have sinus rhythm," Abby said finally.
Carter rubbed the stress from his brow.
"Take him up to the ICU and continue to monitor him. Get an ECG and an EKG. And somebody find out what the hell he was given!"
Snapping off his gloves, Carter left the trauma room, glowering at Ceila the whole time.
**
Kerry hurried to the ICU. Luka, she saw, was being hooked up to a ventilator and IVs. He had been given something in the suture room and nearly died on the gurney. It couldn't be true but when Kerry saw the tall man lying motionless as the ICU nurses worked him over and Carter glaring at the student nurse she previously had faith in, it had to be true.
"Who told you could administer a potentially fatal drug?!" Carter yelled.
"I never did!" Ceila shot back.
"What's going on?!" Kerry demanded over the angry, raised voices of her subordinates.
Carter placed his hands on his hips.
"Student Nurse Kowalski was suturing a cut on Luka's hand and she claimed to have given him a dose of ketamine."
"I did not!" Ceila denied.
Kerry raised her hand for some quiet.
"Ceila, tell me what happened."
Ceila gulped once.
"I was suturing Dr. Kovac's hand. Dr. McAllister was observing. I asked if Dr. Kovac should have a mild anaesthetic. Dr. McAllister said yes and went to the drug lock-up to get it. He first brought back BZD. I pointed out his error and he left the room to get something else. Dr. Kovac didn't even want a painkiller but when Dr. McAllister returned he injected him with something."
"What was it?" Kerry asked.
"I didn't see," Ceila admitted. "I believe it was ketalar. At least that's what Dr. McAllister said it was."
"Didn't you check to see what it was?" Kerry pressed.
Ceila threw up her hands frustrated.
"No! He put it on the treatment tray and walked out of the suture room. And what am I supposed to do? Question the doctor?"
"You do it all the time!" Carter shot back.
Ceila gave him a glare.
"Dr. McAllister gave Dr. Kovac an injection without his consent. And I'm a student nurse remember? I don't push drugs, I change IVs and suture cuts!"
Kerry breathed softly.
"Is the treatment tray still in the suture room?" she asked.
Ceila thought for a second.
"Dr. Kovac was altered. He became violent and stuff was thrown everywhere."
"Find it," Kerry ordered.
"You won't find it," McAllister said.
He was standing in the doorway and had been apprised by one of the nurses of what happened.
"Where the hell were you?" Carter demanded.
"He was with a patient," Kerry explained desperately. "But we need to figure out how this all happened, so please, no recriminations."
"All I did was administer a topical analgesic," McAllister said.
Ceila turned pale.
"No, that's not true!"
All eyes turned to him.
"I did not administer an injection," he denied.
Carter did not believe him.
"Please explain why Dr. Kovac threw a grand mal seizure and went into cardiovascular and respiratory distress."
McAllister now looked at him, coldly.
"I didn't say he didn't get an injection. All I am saying is I didn't give him one. I did initially retrieve ketamine from the drug lock-up prior to the suturing but Dr. Kovac warned me that he had an allergy to it so I never used it."
"Did you return the ketamine?" Kerry asked.
"Yes," McAllister answered.
"So what was Dr. Kovac given?" Carter asked.
"I don't know," McAllister denied. "You'll have to ask Student Nurse Kowalski."
Ceila gaped and then turned angry.
"You lying son-of-a-bitch!"
Carter held her back.
"Ceila would never do that!" Kerry insisted.
"The proof," McAllister put forth, "is in Dr. Kovac's bloodstream."
McAllister steeled himself.
"I don't know what Dr. Kovac was given but I can assure you I did not give it to him."
He gulped.
"I do, however, feel responsible."
With that, McAllister left the room.
Ceila, now free from Carter's lock, swivelled to Kerry in search of credibility.
"Do you believe that son-of-a-bitch? He is lying! You have to believe me..."
Kerry coldly looked at Ceila.
"I want you to go home, Ceila. Do not speak of this to anyone."
Ceila bit on her lip and fled the room.
Carter now turned to Kerry.
"You know, Malucci did something stupid like that, too."
Kerry only scowled at Carter.
"She is not Malucci!"
Kerry crutched off to the drug lock-up in the ER. She opened the cupboard door and started counting. Her fingers brushed over haldol, lidocaine, and ketamine. She counted each one and tried to think what was missing.
**
Kerry returned to the ICU ward. Romano, she could see, was waiting for her.
He crossed his arms and glared at her.
"Kerry, it seems that there is always someone being badly hurt in your ER."
Kerry clenched her jaw.
"Robert..."
"Before you bore me with endless details, I'd like to get an update on Luka's condition," he interrupted. "To see if he won't sue us after he wakes up."
Romano entered the room where Luka was.
"If he wakes up."
Luka lay motionless with a tube down his throat to help him breathe.
Kerry was breathless. He was like a fractured god, still beautiful yet so broken.
Romano approached a nurse on duty and inquired about Luka's condition.
"He isn't breathing on his own, his blood pressure is dangerously low and his heart barely registers a beat," the ICU nurse explained.
Romano took his light-pen, lifted Luka's eyelids and peered into his eyes.
"Pupils are nonreactive."
"These machines are keeping him alive," the nurse said. "One more thing- the complete tox screen came in. He had a dangerously high level of lidocaine in his blood."
Both Kerry and Romano were surprised.
"Lidocaine?" Kerry quizzed. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the nurse nodded and returned to her other duties.
"Lidocaine toxicity!" Romano huffed. "Son-of-a-bitch!"
He composed himself.
"Kovac's brother isn't a lawyer, is he?"
Kerry nodded.
"I believe he is."
Romano steeled himself.
"Well, I don't think I need to tell you what creek we're up."
"Robert, I don't think Ceila is responsible," Kerry said in a small voice.
Romano's eyes rolled.
"I'm not interested in your desire to play mommy to some smart-ass who pushes potentially fatal drugs to patients."
Kerry clenched her jaw.
"That's not Ceila and you know it!"
She kept her voice down so the ICU nurses wouldn't hear.
"Ceila has been eager and curious but when has she ever taken it on herself to do something like this?"
"There's always a first time for everything," Romano said and made his way out.
**
Abby's lips quivered as she smoked her last cigarette. She couldn't go back into the ER or face Carter (given that he was irate with someone she knew he was attracted to). All Abby could do was smoke the last of her cigarette and wait.
"Abby?"
Abby looked up. Susan had just started her shift.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Abby mashed out her cigarette with her foot.
"No," she answered. "Luka."
Susan nodded.
"Yeah. I heard. I can't believe Kowalski would do something that stupid!" Susan spat.
Abby shook her head and chewed her nails.
"Neither can I. And that's part of the problem."
**
Ceila was in the doctor's lounge, desperately avoiding or ignoring the glares of other doctors and nurses. She couldn't leave the hospital. She thought of Luka and then Dr. McAllister. She could not believe someone would lie like that.
She peered out the door to see if the coast was clear. McAllister was going to the elevator.
"Dr. McAllister!"
McAllister was surprised to see her.
"You are supposed to be at home, Kowalski, and I am not supposed to talk to you nor you to me."
Ceila jumped into the elevator with him.
"What is going on?"
McAllister looked at her strangely and pressed a button for a floor.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play stupid with me!" she huffed indignantly. "You gave Dr. Kovac something- something which caused him to become mentally altered and eventually go into cardiac and respiratory distress!"
"Did I? He's also in now a coma," McAllister casually stated.
Ceila's jaw dropped.
"What?"
"Dr. Kovac is now in a coma."
Ceila trembled and turned quite pale. She crossed her arms.
"You gave him too much ketamine or BZD or..."
"I did no such thing," McAllister denied.
Ceila turned red.
"Goddammit! Don't you lie to me! I was there!"
"And what did you see, Student Nurse Kowalski?" McAllister challenged. "What was in the vial? Where is it now? What did Dr. Kovac ask for?"
Ceila uncrossed her arms.
"You're sandbagging me."
McAllister looked straight at her.
"I don't think that what's happening here, Student Nurse Kowalski. You made an error that nearly cost a patient his life. You've jeopardized not only him but the hospital and its reputation as a teaching facility."
Ceila couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"That's not true."
McAllister stared at her steely before exiting the elevator.
"Prove it."
**
Ceila had to see if McAllister's words were actually true. She charged to the ICU but then her legs became sluggish. She would soon see her lover teetering toward death. When there might have been something she could have done before, she could do nothing now.
Ceila slowly marched to Luka's room in the ICU. Romano stopped her.
"Hey, Buffy, Attending-Slayer! Where do you think you're going?"
Ceila stopped. She did not look at Romano.
"I wanted to check on Dr. Kovac," she answered.
"Let me save you the trouble," Romano rasped. "He's in a coma with next to no brain, cardiac or respiratory function and just as much possibility of pulling out of it."
She bit on her lip.
Romano huffed.
"Please don't tell me that you're going to cry!"
Ceila avoided looking right at him.
"No."
Romano nodded.
"I see. Are you hoping then that Dr. Kovac won't sue you? He won't, given that he's now a gork, but his family might," he spat. "I'd find myself a good lawyer if I were you."
Ceila met his cold glare.
"I had such high hopes for you," he admitted in a low voice before leaving Ceila to wallow in her sense of hopelessness.
**
Ceila had been riding the elevator for half an hour now, pushing buttons forcelessly.
Gallant stepped in and gazed at the slouching girl.
"Are you going to tell me what a royal fuck-up I am?" she sputtered, without even looking at him. "Or did you just start your shift and are horribly out of the loop?"
"No," he said softly. "I know what's up."
Gallant pressed the button for his floor. He carefully looked at her.
"You should go home and get some rest."
Ceila barely looked at him.
"I can't."
She sniffed.
"And I can't go or see him, either. Do you see the dilemma I'm in?"
Her jaw quivered.
"I've killed him. I know it."
Ceila steadied herself.
"Since I got here, Dr. Kovac has always been good to me. Dr. Weaver has, too. Boy, have I repaid their faith in me!"
Gallant looked on her sympathetically.
"I have faith in you," he admitted. "I don't think you let them down. A mistake was made..."
"I didn't make it, Michael," she spoke quickly. "Please believe that. No one else will."
"I believe you," Gallant said softly. "For what it's worth."
Ceila smiled softly at him.
"Thank you."
"I'm going to see him myself. Come with me," Gallant offered.
Ceila took his hand.
"I'll do that."
The elevator stopped on the ICU floor and the two made their way to Luka's room. They could see even in the dimmed lights Luka's wretched condition.
"God..." Ceila sighed and her shoulders caved in.
Gallant rested his hand on her arm.
**
It was six AM.
Kerry had made special effort to get to work much earlier than usual, in case Luka had made any progress. The ICU ward is especially quiet.
McAllister was there, peering at his felled patient through the window. He was standing next to a henna-haired woman- Tess McDermott, the pathologist.
"Tess," Kerry nodded politely. "Dr. McAllister."
Tess, likewise, nodded though she didn't particularly like Kerry. She returned her gaze to Luka.
"I found out something about your handsome attending," Tess offered. "He inherited his mild allergy to ketamine from his mother. You see, Eastern European hospitals don't believe in natural childbirth one bit. They drug women in labour so much that they are on a entirely different plane of existence, which might explain some of their films."
"I missed your cynicism, Tess," Kerry dryly admitted. "I have no idea how we would have survived medical school without it."
"And I missed your love for your fellow man and your warm personality," Tess retorted. "But if I may be allowed to finish. The ketamine push they gave his mother passed through the umbilical cord to him. Luckily, the effect lasted only seconds at birth but a lifetime for him. He also had long legs- a strapping twenty inches he was at birth. That's no baby for a petite woman. Good thing that Mama Kovac is as strapping as her boy."
"If I may divert this conversation to something "less" important," McAllister said impatiently. "I want to know his status."
"They're going to run another EKG on him," Tess said. "But so far, nothing."
Kerry touched the glass.
"Zero to two milligrams of ketamine or its equivalent would cause minor disorientation and hallucinations. Anything over five milligrams would be enough to kill him."
Kerry's knuckle rapped the glass.
"But Dr. Kovac suffered lidocaine toxicity. Of course, you didn't know that, did you, Dr. McAllister?"
"No," McAllister replied without looking at her.
He touched the glass lightly.
"It's a shame," he said. "A life gone to waste like that. Is there any chance he may recover?"
Kerry shook her head.
"It doesn't look promising."
McAllister gulped.
"I'm sure Student Nurse Kowalski never meant to kill him."
Tess drew out steely anger.
"Maybe she should have. If he fails the apnoea test, he'll be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life."
"I think I should try to talk to Kowalski," McAllister offered. "I feel responsible."
"No," Kerry refused. "I think it would be best if the two of you did not speak of this, to yourselves or anyone."
McAllister bit his lip.
"If you think it's best."
McAllister left the women to start his shift.
"What's going to happen to Kowalski?" Tess asked.
"She'd never be able to be a nurse," Kerry said softly.
"That's not good enough," Tess said, nodding her head in an ominous way. "Considering."
**
Kerry finally started her shift. The nurses whiled away the quiet time before the next trauma by folding sheets in a treatment room.
Haleh neared Chuny.
"Apparently, Nanuq from the North is up for the chopping block. Her skinny ass is gone!"
Chuny giggled.
Kerry's presence put an end to the cruel gossip.
"Haleh, I'd like to speak to you for a moment."
Haleh left her folding and joined Kerry outside.
"Haleh, did you see anything yesterday?" she asked.
Haleh wondered at Kerry's vagary.
"I saw a lot things, Dr. Weaver."
"I mean, with Dr. McAllister," Kerry explained. "Did you notice him take anything from the drug lock-up?"
Haleh thought for a second.
"I saw him
return
something but
I couldn't
tell you when
that was."
"When was that?" Kerry asked.
"Oh, two in the afternoon, I think," Haleh answered,
"I mean- before or after Dr. Kovac came in with his hand laceration?" Kerry clarified.
"Oh, he was nowhere near the drug lock-up before Dr. Kovac came in," Haleh said. "He was at the admit desk talking to Carter about something and then Dr. Kovac came in. He went straight to the room with Kowalski and started stitching him up. He must have left the room after that because he was in the drug lock-up when I told him he had some paperwork to do."
Kerry nodded.
"Thank you, Haleh. Please don't repeat this to anyone."
Haleh raised a curious brow.
"Is this about Student Nurse Kowalski?"
Kerry put her finger to her lips.
"Please, Haleh, not a word."
**
Kerry was by herself in the lounge. She alone had the unpleasant task of informing Ceila that a hearing would convene. The girl would be at home, unable to do anything in her defence. Kerry picked up the phone and dialled Ceila's number.
"Ceila?"
"Yes, Dr. Weaver?" the girl's voice was like liquid silver. "Is Dr. Kovac alright? No one will tell me anything."
Kerry bit her lip.
"No change," she regretted. She paused for difficult breath. "I've spoken to the board. A hearing will be convened for tomorrow."
Silence.
"Ceila?" Kerry called.
She could hear Ceila breathing.
"Yes?"
"I am sorry. I really am," Kerry apologized. "I tried to talk to them."
Ceila's voice was low and soft.
"Thank you, Dr. Weaver."
Kerry continued.
"What I'd like you to do is to write down everything you remember. Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Ceila answered, "but it's not going to do any good."
Kerry would not let her be discouraged.
"Don't say that, Ceila. Be here early."
"Alright," Ceila confirmed.
Kerry hung up the phone. She rapped her knuckles on the table and hoped that Ceila had at least an ounce of the confidence she displayed in her time working in the ER.
**
8 AM.
An ordinary sunny day, curiously, was judgment day for some.
The board of physicians had convened in the meeting room. They chattered softly with each other, discussing the quality of the danish and occasionally looking at their notes to see whom they were interviewing. Romano was there. He said nothing but waited, tapping the rim of his glass of water. Kerry came in and sat at the back of the room. Ceila, she saw, was early. Her long black hair was tied back severely. She wore a long beige skirt and a soft pink short-sleeved shirt. She looked more cute than adult. She wrung her hands and kept her head down. McAllister was in the front of the room. He sat up straight with his head held high and waited patiently. Abby entered the room and sat next to Kerry. She gave Kerry a brief grave look and waited for the hearing to begin.
Romano cleared his throat, a signal that the hearing would start.
"We're about to begin."
Romano looked coldly at Ceila.
"Miss Kowalski, I advise you to leave for this portion of the hearing. Don't stray too far."
Ceila wordlessly rose from her seat and walked out of the room.
McAllister sat before the board, cleared his throat and sipped a glass of water.
A doctor joined his fingers together and addressed McAllister.
"Please state your name."
"Doctor Rick McAllister," he stated. "I was chief resident at Chicago Memorial before accepting an attending position at Hudson Terrace Medical Centre in New York."
The doctor spoke again.
"Please explain, to the best of your recollection, the events of the day in question."
McAllister's gaze slightly veered left.
"Dr. Kovac came into the ER, presenting with a hand laceration about eight centimetres in length and I estimated less than two millimetres deep. Blood loss was minimal and I determined there was no nerve damage. However, there was slight muscular damage causing Dr. Kovac discomfort."
"What was your course of treatment?" the doctor asked.
"I instructed Student Nurse Kowalski to prep Dr. Kovac while I retrieved a vial of ketamine from the drug lock-up," McAllister answered. "I entered the room and instructed her to irrigate the wound, which she did, and the proceed with the sutures."
The doctor was confused.
"You did not suture?"
McAllister shook his head.
"No."
Another doctor spoke.
"You did not administer any analgesic?"
"At first, no," McAllister replied. "I was concerned once Dr. Kovac experienced pain and told him I had ketamine. He told me he had an allergy to ketamine so I returned the vial."
The second doctor resumed her questioning.
"Did Student Nurse Kowalski administer anything- to your knowledge?"
"To my knowledge- no. She had irrigated the wound..."
The second doctor was now confused.
"Wait- she irrigated the wound before or after you entered the room?"
McAllister thought for a moment.
"She may have
done that
before I
instructed her
to proceed
with
suturing."
The first
doctor spoke
up.
"Were there any drugs present?"
McAllister did not look at the board.
"I do not recall."
The first doctor wrote this down.
A third doctor now spoke.
"How would you characterize Student Nurse Kowalski's attitude during treatment?"
McAllister crossed his legs and joined his hands. His entire demeanour was one of cold, hard confidence.
"Student Nurse Kowalski's attitude was certainly not one I would classify as professional. It seemed she was infatuated with Dr. Kovac. She smiled and joked with him. Her attention was elsewhere, for certain."
McAllister swallowed an obstruction.
"I take full responsibility for not curbing this behaviour."
Romano looked on him with all the sympathy he could muster.
"That will be all, Dr. McAllister," the first doctor said.
With that, McAllister got up and left.
The doctors collected their notes.
Abby crossed her arms and leaned over to whisper in Kerry's ear.
"That's bullshit! I've seen Ceila work with Luka before and she's never been the go-getter! Not like that." Abby swallowed hard. "McAllister's a fucking bullshit artist!"
Kerry knew it.
"If you are going to lie, you better have a good memory. And I think his is failing."
Kerry's brow furrowed.
"He said he went to get a vial of ketamine before Ceila started suturing? That's not right. Why did the board miss that?"
Abby shushed her.
Ceila was called in.
Kerry smiled at her slightly. Ceila returned the smile.
Ceila sat before the board.
"Please state you name."
"Ceila Kowalski," she answered. "Third year nursing student."
"Please describe the events of the day in question," the third doctor asked.
Ceila gulped.
"I was called to assist on a hand laceration. Dr. Kovac was the patient. His laceration was no more than seven or eight centimetres in length. Dr. McAllister wanted me to apply the sutures. I retrieved a suture kit and irrigated the wound. This was done while Dr. McAllister supervised."
"So he did not retrieve anything before you began suturing?" the second doctor asked.
"No," Ceila answered. "When Dr. Kovac experienced discomfort..."
"Did he experience discomfort because of your sutures?" the second doctor asked stiffly.
Ceila looked affronted.
"He experienced discomfort because of swelling, not because of nerve or muscular damage or my sutures. I had sutured before, under strict supervision, and have had no complaints either from the staff or the patients."
Kerry was proud of the girl's strength and confidence.
The second doctor seemed halted.
"What happened when Dr. Kovac experienced discomfort?"
"I asked Dr. McAllister if a mild anaesthetic should be used or a topical analgesic," Ceila answered. "Dr. McAllister said ketamine was needed. Dr. Kovac told him of his allergy to ketamine. Dr. McAllister left the room and came in with a vial of BZD. I told him he had the wrong vial. He left again and returned with another vial. I don't really know what was in it. Dr. McAllister said it was ketalar. He then injected Dr. Kovac with it."
Ceila paused.
"Dr. McAllister insisted that Dr. Kovac receive an injection even though he didn't want one. He made Dr. Kovac take one. I don't even think he knew what was in it and Dr. McAllister certainly wasn't truthful about its contents."
The first doctor wasn't swayed by Ceila's confident testimony.
"What happened to this vial?"
Ceila shook her head.
"I don't know."
"Did you remove it? Did you dispose of it?" the second doctor asked.
Ceila was becoming angry.
"No! Dr. Kovac became altered and stuff was thrown around the room. I don't know what happened to it!"
The second doctor gripped her pen and gazed at Ceila with a white-hot glare.
"What if I were to tell you that no such vial was found?"
Ceila became silent.
"I didn't inject Dr. Kovac with anything. I would never do that. Not ever. Not to him."
"Why should we believe you?" the first doctor asked. "Last November, you and Dr. Kovac sealed yourself in a room, in your words, 'to protect a patient'. I must say, Miss Kowalski, I am not finding you credible at this point."
Ceila's braced her jaw in earnest response.
"I have never endangered a patient, nor did I give Dr. Kovac anything that would harm him!"
The doctors gazed at Ceila coldly.
"That will be all," the third doctor pronounced.
Ceila's eyes flashed with anger. She rose from her chair with a clenched fist at her side.
Kerry bowed her head. She felt that Ceila's testimony would only cost her.
Carter walked past Ceila. Ceila stopped at the door and looked at him.
"Please state your name," the third doctor asked.
Carter's back was straight and his head was upright. Nothing about him belied his purpose.
"Doctor John Truman Carter. Chief resident."
"Please describe the events of August tenth," the third doctor asked.
Carter drew in breath.
"A patient came in with minor facial lacerations and contusions after being in a car accident. Labs were drawn and an EEG was about to be performed. In the mean time, the patient experienced convulsions."
"What did Student Nurse Kowalski do?" the first doctor asked.
Carter gulped.
"Student Nurse Kowalski wanted to administer atavin."
The second doctor looked surprised.
"Did you allow her?"
Carter shook his head.
"No. It was determined that the patient suffered epilepsy that was undiagnosed for years. In all fairness, Student Nurse Kowalski did bring attention to it but was unaware of how to treat it, especially given that the labs and EEG were not ready."
"Has she done anything similar?" the third doctor asked.
Carter's demeanour became cold.
"She has expressed what some of my colleagues have termed "excessive enthusiasm" in practising medicine. She expressed desire to do intubations, IV changes, things like that."
The first doctor nodded.
"That will be all."
Ceila could not believe what was happening. She hurriedly walked from the room to the elevator. Carter followed her.
"I'm sorry, Ceila," Carter apologized.
She did not look at him.
"You were overstepping your bounds," Carter reminded her.
"And you used to inject fentanyl into your veins!" she rasped.
She now looked at him with cold, accusing eyes.
"You're not the only one who knows how to be petty!"
All Carter could do was clench his jaw. He had no idea how cruel she could be, nor did he understand that only one opinion mattered to her.
Ceila moved from the elevator, having elected to take the stairs instead.
**
The hearing was over. Abby and Kerry watched as Romano stormed out of the room wordlessly.
"That guy never misses a chance to fry someone!" Abby snarked.
Kerry nodded her head in agreement.
"I just hope Ceila's testimony was good enough."
Kerry thought for a second.
"Why did McAllister come here?"
Abby shrugged.
"I dunno. Happier climes?"
Kerry shook her head.
"This pasture is not as green as others," Kerry muttered.
She excused herself from Abby.
"I've got homework to do."
**
Ceila's fingers brushed over Luka's long eyelashes carefully.
"Dragi , probuditi se. Imam ne?to re?i vam."
He did not stir.
Ceila stifled a sob.
"I was here once. I know you can hear me."
She leaned closer to speak into his ear.
"Things are going to be right somehow. You're going to come back to me, and when you do, I have so many things to tell you."
Ceila rose from her chair next to Luka's bed. She kissed his cheek.
"O?ekivati mene."
Ceila left the room, wiping away hot tears.
**
Kerry scurried about the admittance desk.
Frank presented a yellow piece of paper to her.
"Dr. Kovac's brother called. He wants to know his status."
Kerry looked at the paper thoughtfully.
"Thank you, Frank."
Kerry continued scurrying. She was about to ask Frank for something.
"Looking for this?"
Susan waved a fax in Kerry's face as she munched on an apple.
Kerry snatched the fax from Susan and read it.
Susan still munched on her apple.
"Looks like Dr. McAllister's in hot water."
Kerry looked puzzled.
"I thought you didn't care about Student Nurse Kowalski."
Susan shook her head.
"I don't," she roughly admitted. "But if Junior's not here then I'm stuck for a human piƱata."
Kerry couldn't help smirk.
"Did you know that Junior is also allergic to ketamine?" Susan asked between bites of the apple.
Kerry shook her head.
Susan nodded.
"Yep. Doubt she would be so free and easy with something that could give her convulsions."
Kerry nodded.
"McAllister might."
**
Prayer is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
Ceila pondered at that saying as she entered the church. What else was she supposed to do, she wondered.
Slumping into a pew, she scolded herself. Piety was best reserved for Sundays and faith had no place in a world of concrete facts. She thought these things before and now she could not think why she had all abandoned but the faith she was raised in as a child. She needed it now, especially as the world of man had turned on her.
Ceila stared at the statue of Saint Theresa in the side chapel. The poreless plaster statue seemed to look back at her vacantly. Ceila knelt, made the Sign of the Cross and began to pray.
**
Lizzie walked the floor of the ICU to check up on a patient who was now on bypass. She could see hurried movement in the ward. The ICU nurse called her into the room. Wasting no time, Lizzie ran in to assist. She could not believe it. The comatose Luka stirred and struggled to breathe on his own.
Lizzie and the nurse started to extubate the man. He coughed and sputtered and then became dazed. Lizzie wiped away excess saliva from his lips.
"Luka, do you know where you are?"
Luka did not answer her. He stared at the ceiling with a relaxed expression.
"Luka?" Lizzie asked again.
Luka now looked at her. He only smiled and touched her hand.
**
Kerry could hardly believe it when she received word of it. She had to race down to the ICU to confirm it with her own eyes. Luka had regained consciousness. Not only had he regained consciousness but his condition had been upgraded to fair. It was as though nothing had happened to him.
Tess joined her in her wonderment.
Tess smiled.
"I'm glad."
Kerry doubted it. Tess always wanted her pound of flesh and didn't care from where she got it.
"I didn't want it to happen, Kerry. Really."
Kerry doubted her but decided not to argue the point.
"As long as he is recovered," Kerry nodded.
Kerry entered the room. Lizzie and Abby were with him. Abby held his hand and repeatedly told him how lucky he was. Luka was insensible to it all. He was weary but responsive.
"Luka!" Kerry cried as she joined the other two women at his bedside. "How are you?"
Luka inhaled.
"I feel alive but tired. Isn't that odd?"
"What is odd is your recovery!" Kerry exclaimed. "Somebody up there is looking after you!"
Luka was perplexed.
"What recovery? I cut my hand! Why am I here?"
Kerry was agape.
Lizzie looked at Luka.
"You mean- you really don't remember what happened?"
Luka looked at her innocently.
"No."
Kerry had to sit down.
"Luka, you suffered from lidocaine toxicity. Someone gave you lidocaine for your hand. Don't you remember?"
Luka only smiled.
"No one would do a thing like that, Kerry. That would be stupid."
"Luka, we nearly lost you," Abby related.
None of the explanations had any effect on Luka.
"From a cut hand?"
Abby rolled her eyes.
"No! You had a grand mal seizure. You had cardiac and respiratory distress. You lost nearly all brain function!"
Luka now realized the severity of their accounts.
"This can't be. I don't remember any of this."
Lizzie nodded sympathetically.
"Your memory will return. It will, also, take a while for you to get your co-ordination back," Lizzie said.
A cup fell from the bedside table. With one swift movement, Luka caught it and placed it back on the table.
Abby's eyes bugged out.
"Wow."
Lizzie, likewise, was astounded.
"Well, you're recovering nicely," she said as she rose from her chair. "I'll leave you to rest."
"So will I," Abby concurred as she left with Lizzie.
Luka was still perplexed.
"It was just a cup," he said as he looked at Kerry puzzled.
Kerry tapped his hand.
"It's been a tense few days," she said.
Luka was downcast.
"I've been asleep for a few days?"
Kerry nodded.
"Do you really remember nothing?"
Luka nodded.
"My hand was hurt."
Kerry sighed.
"Get some rest, Luka. You've got shifts next week!"
Luka rolled his eyes at her joke.
**
Gallant could hardly contain his excitement. He hid in a storage closet and pressed a preset dial on his cell phone.
"Ceila? You've got to come down! It's Dr. Kovac. He's pulled through!"
**
McAllister could not believe the news. In fact, no one could. Luka was expected to die but did not. His memory of the event was virtually nonexistent, however. McAllister adjusted his tie and moved away from the crowd of staff relating Luka's miraculous recovery to each other. He stopped when he hit a solid body. He turned to see who it was. A little red- haired woman glared at him.
"I'd like to talk to you."
McAllister followed Kerry to the lounge. Pratt was munching on a sandwich while Gallant was finishing the last of his yogurt.
"Make yourselves scarce, boys," Kerry commanded.
With haste, they left the lounge but hung around unawares to hear what was going to happen.
Kerry glared at McAllister.
"You thought you could get away with it."
McAllister looked down on her.
"I don't know what you mean."
Kerry huffed.
"Don't play this game with me! I know you went to the drug lock-up twice after Dr. Kovac arrived and I also know he did not want an injection."
McAllister smirked.
"Did Student Nurse Kowalski tell you that?"
Kerry returned his question with a dirty look. She presented the fax to him.
"She's a little more credible than you."
McAllister looked pale.
Kerry's face bore a look of clean disgust.
"You're a...You're a. fucking bullshit artist!" Kerry accused as she pulled the fax from his hands.
Outside of the lounge, Gallant raised a scandalized brow.
"Wow!" he muttered under his breath to Pratt. "Dr. Weaver is a cussmouth!"
Kerry marched out of the lounge.
Pratt and Gallant hugged the wall, hoping not to be seen.
Pratt blew out anxious air.
"Damn! I'd hate to be McAllister now!"
**
Ceila ran like a woman possessed. Her hair had become undone and her clothes no longer had their neat and pressed orderliness. She bolted to the ICU where Luka convalesced alone. She burst through the doors and ran to Luka's side. She could not contain her joy as she pressed her lips to Luka's. She embraced him tightly.
"I knew you'd come back!"
She broke from her embrace and held Luka's face in her hands.
"Do you hate me?"
Luka was confused.
"Why?"
He kissed her.
"I could never hate you."
He held Ceila tightly.
Ceila, feeling absolved somehow, relaxed in his embrace.
**
Romano did not want to hear from Kerry. His hand gripped the tumbler of scotch (the stuff he had hidden in his desk) with his back to the night sky.
A knock disturbed his silently foul mood.
"Yes?"
Kerry stood at his door with a fax in her hand. She let herself in and sat at Romano's desk.
"I've been looking for you."
Romano nodded.
"Yeah, I thought you would."
He opened the top drawer and pulled out his bottle of scotch.
"Want a drink?"
Kerry shook her head.
"I think you know why I'm here."
Romano braced himself.
"Yeah."
He swigged his drink.
"Kovac remembers nothing and Kowalski's in the clear."
"I thought she would be," Kerry admitted.
Romano chuckled.
"Yeah, you would."
Kerry cleared her throat.
"I know you didn't want to believe the worst in Student Nurse Kowalski so I'll spare you the trouble of mentioning it, but you don't have that luxury with McAllister," she said.
Kerry presented the fax to Romano.
"What is this?" he asked as he scanned the document.
"Three months ago, Dr. McAllister administered a fatal dose of atavin to a twelve year old girl," Kerry explained.
Romano shook his head.
"No, no, it can't.uh.. No."
"It's true, Robert," Kerry affirmed. "He claimed he was exhausted at the time of the dosage. He resigned to avoid further trouble."
Romano shoved the paper away.
"This is the same doctor who stabilized a stroke patient everyone else had given up on.."
Kerry sighed heavily.
"Robert, he may very well have been a competent physician."
"Is!" Romano snapped.
"He nearly killed someone and was prepared to let a nursing student take the fall!" Kerry angrily returned. "What has to happen before he really does kill someone?"
Romano buried his face in his hands.
"Let me talk to him," he pleaded. "I'll talk to him."
Kerry relented. She rose from her seat.
"Do that, Robert, before it's out of your hands," Kerry warned.
**
McAllister sat before Romano with an empty tumbler waiting to be filled with alcohol. He smiled.
"You going to let this thing sit empty, Robert, or is there a bottle of Absolut in your drawer waiting to be poured?"
Romano was in no mood for levity.
"It's scotch, actually."
McAllister shrugged.
"A classic."
"I know about the atavin kid," Romano interrupted.
McAllister was taken aback.
"I don't know what you mean," he stammered.
Romano grimaced.
"Don't shit me, Rick! We've been through too much!"
McAllister clenched his fist.
"Look, Robert."
Romano shook his head and rubbed his mouth.
"I have no idea when you started plummeting to the ground, Rick, but this can't go any further."
Romano sat up.
"You've lied in your initial statement and lied to the board so I don't know how you're going to get out of this, but I do know that Kovac has no memory of all of this, and even if he did, he's not the litigious kind. Kowalski- well, she's a different pack of cards."
McAllister bit his lips and stared down. He wrung his hands.
"I swear to God, Robert, I never, ever meant to hurt him."
Romano did not look at him.
"I'm sure you didn't."
McAllister went pale.
"You pull one twelve hour shift and then another and then you realize you've worked twenty-fours without stop and.. somewhere in the back of your mind you think: did I give that patient too much of something?"
He bit his knuckle.
"And that's when the shit really hits the fan."
Romano looked at his friend, the same look he offered him at the hearing.
"I want to feel bad for you, Rick," Romano offered softly, "but you damn near killed someone and were willing to let a kid go down for it. That's a real crap thing to do and the Rick I knew would agree with me."
Romano joined his hands together.
"You go to the board tomorrow and come clean."
McAllister smirked.
"Commit professional suicide? What the hell have you been breathing in?"
Romano's jaw squared.
"You can go to them or I'll rat you out."
McAllister gaped in disbelief.
"Shit, man, that's cold."
Romano nodded.
"Yeah, as cold as setting a kid up for a fall and nearly killing her boyfriend."
Romano looked away from McAllister.
"Give Bridget my hellos, will you?"
McAllister nodded and stood up. He moved his mouth as he would speak but said nothing. McAllister turned and walked out the door.
Romano finally pulled out the scotch and poured himself another drink.
**
11 PM.
The paramedic read the bullet.
"White male in his late thirties pulled out of the river."
Susan looked at the victim in disgust.
"Shit! This day just gets better, doesn't it?"
Carter checked the man's pupils.
"Nonreactive."
Carter shook his head.
"He's been down too long."
Susan had no choice but to agree.
"Time of death: 11:05."
**
Kerry knocked on Romano's door.
"Come in."
Kerry saw that he was leaving.
"Robert."
"I convinced McAllister to commit professional suicide," Romano rattled off cavalierly.
He clenched his car keys in his hand.
"I'm sure he'll thank me for it someday, like when hell experiences a Minnesota winter!"
Kerry pursed her lips together.
"Robert, I'm sorry but.. they found Dr. McAllister's body in the river. It was too late to get him back. I'm sorry."
Romano bit his lip. He clenched his car keys tighter.
"Good night, Kerry," he said quietly and walked out of his office.
*
Luka looked around Abby's apartment.
"Ummhhmmm."
Abby's eyes widened.
"What?"
Luka now looked at her.
"I'll need to drill a fixture in the ceiling in order to put the fan in."
Abby looked at him incredulously.
"You do?"
Luka nodded.
"Can't you just screw it on?" she quizzed.
Luka laughed a little and shook his head.
"No. Something has to carry the weight of it and then there is the matter of the wires." Luka scratched his head. "I could do it."
Abby now crossed her arms.
"Can you?"
Luka shrugged. He was placid and wistful.
"A year ago, you could have moved in with me. It's much cooler in my flat."
Abby threw her head back. Who knew that putting in a ceiling fan would rehash events?
"Luka..."
Luka shrugged again.
"I'm just saying."
She touched his chin.
"I'll still need a fan, though."
Luka smiled.
"I'll help you put it in this afternoon."
Abby smiled. She was safe- for now.
**
Kerry clutched her file and made her way into the surgeons' lounge. Romano was talking and laughing with a bespectacled browned-haired man. Romano turned his head and acknowledged Kerry.
"Ah, Kerry, let me have the pleasure of introducing a friend and a damn fine doctor, Rick McAllister. He'll be doing a tour in the battlefield you affectionately call the ER."
Kerry couldn't believe it. There would be another foot in the door in her ER. She would bite her tongue- for now.
"How do you do?"
McAllister smiled and extended his hand.
"Hey! I hear you get a lot of action, even of the teaching kind."
"It is a teaching hospital," Kerry answered. Duh.
McAllister laughed.
"I'm not one for hand-holding the kids but I'll give it my best shot."
McAllister's pager went off and he excused himself, smiling at Kerry as he did so.
Kerry shot Romano a dirty look.
"What favour did he do for you, Robert?"
Romano looked at Kerry with a surprised look on his face.
"What makes you think a shady deal went down in a backroom? I'm surprised at you, Kerry. I really am. No, Rick is an old college friend of mine."
"You have a friend?" Kerry sarcastically chuckled.
"Ha-ha," Romano snipped back drolly. "I do have feelings and yes, even friends. Anyway, Rick left Hudson Terrace Medical Centre for greener pastures and I was only too happy to oblige him. Besides, you hire Canadian orphans and pathologists from Maine."
"I didn't hire Kowalski and Dr. McDermott has a stellar reputation," Kerry corrected.
"But not with you," Romano returned.
Romano walked to the elevator.
"Look, you don't have to bend over backwards for him. Just treat him as you would anyone else. Show him the ropes. Invite him over for coffee."
Romano stepped into the elevator.
"I think he likes you."
Kerry had a look of mock surprise on her face as the doors shut. She would just have to take this on the chin as she would any other Romano-made screw- job.
**
Abby watched as Luka screwed in the support for the ceiling fan. He was so darn handy around the house, she thought. When he made his initial bid for her to live with him, he showed her how he would adjust things to facilitate- as he put it- her smallness. The apartment was built for people like Luka and Paul Bunyan but he would still lengthen the cupboards and strategically put step stools around the place.
"Do you need help?"
Just as Abby offered her assistance, Luka's hand slipped and he cried out in pain.
Abby gasped and went to him.
"Oh, sorry! Are you alright?"
Luka cussed and held his hand tightly.
Abby reached for him.
"Luka, what is it?"
"I cut my goddamn hand!" he snarled.
Abby wrapped his hurt hand in her kerchief and took his keys from the lamp- stand.
"I'll drive you to the ER. You'll need some stitches."
Luka pulled away from her.
"Come on, Luka," she tried to reason with him. "Don't be a child about this! I distracted you and you got hurt. It's the least I can do. And don't worry- I'll tell everybody you hurt your hand in a manly pursuit."
Luka shot a quick look at her.
"What?!"
**
The ER had drummed to virtual halt for the time being.
McAllister looked at the backboard. Carter was standing next to him.
"Slow day," Carter observed and replaced a chart.
"Are you normally this slow?" McAllister asked.
Carter laughed.
"Oh no! Far from it."
McAllister nodded.
"Good." He wriggled his fingers. "You know what they say- idle hands are the devil's workshop."
Kerry placed on a gown and drew Gallant to her.
McAllister smiled.
"At last, some action!"
"A simple MVA," Kerry said. "I just want Gallant to observe."
McAllister nodded.
"I am here to work, you know, Kerry."
Kerry nodded.
"Yeah. I know." Kerry collected herself. "But this is a teaching hospital and I would like our students to practice their skills."
McAllister was distracted by another voice.
"Doctor, I have a patient for you."
Abby walked into the ER clutching Luka's bleeding hand.
McAllister walked over to Luka.
"What happened here?" he asked.
"He hurt himself while drilling a hole in my ceiling." Abby smiled evilly. "And he didn't cry. Not once."
Luka returned her evil look with a burning one.
McAllister chuckled.
"Your secret is safe with me, Super-Man."
Luka rolled his eyes.
"Please don't trouble yourself. I could easily have Nurse Lockhart give me stitches. She is the reason I am here, after all."
Abby was stung.
"I said I was sorry," she said under her breath.
"It's no trouble," McAllister assured him. "It's why I'm here."
McAllister called a dark-haired girl over to him.
"Student Nurse... Kowalski?"
The dark-haired girl turned.
"Yes."
"I'll need you to assist on some stitches," McAllister explained.
Luka looked uncomfortable. A doctor he didn't know and a student nurse were about to treat him for a stupid mishap.
"Don't worry," Ceila reassured. "I can put the stitches in without you feeling it."
Luka allowed himself to smile.
"That would be good, Ceila."
Ceila, blushing, bit on her lower lip and led Luka to a treatment room.
**
Carter sat at a carrel behind the admittance desk. He saw Abby talking with Lydia, Chuny and Haleh.
"Abby!"
Carter walked out from behind the desk and joined Abby.
The other nurses resumed their duties.
"I didn't know you were on. You didn't tell me."
"I'm not. I'm here with Luka," she explained.
Carter became downcast and curious at the same time.
"No, he hurt himself putting in a hole in my ceiling."
Abby made clumsy hand gestures to illustrate Luka's accident.
Now Carter was more curious.
"Oh..."
Abby huffed.
"No! He was just...helping me put a ceiling fan in, I distracted him and he drove the drill into the side of his hand."
"Really?"
Abby frowned.
"Yes, Mom."
Abby crossed her arms.
"He's quite handy."
Carter smirked.
"And he's also letting Kowalski give him doe eyes."
Abby peered into the treatment room. Ceila was suturing Luka's hand, smiling and even laughing.
"They're not doe eyes," Abby denied. "They're... nurse eyes."
**
Luka now stared ahead of him. He flinched once.
"Sorry," Ceila apologized.
She cleared her throat.
"Dr. McAllister, should we administer a mild anaesthetic?" she asked.
Luka smiled.
"I'm fine."
"I might insist on it," McAllister insisted. "The nerves are too tender. If anything, you'll just be more comfortable- at least until Student Nurse Kowalski stops butchering your hand."
Luka was more affronted than Ceila. He could see the scarlet rise above the Canadian's pursed lips.
"She's not hurting me and her suturing is fine," Luka defended her.
McAllister said nothing. He simply threw away used gauze.
"I'll get something for the pain," McAllister said. "Ketamine should do the trick."
"I can't have ketamine," Luka warned. "I have an allergy to it. And I don't even want anything."
"Something topical, then," Ceila piped up.
"I'll do the doctoring," McAllister rasped at her and left for the drug lock-up.
Ceila continued suturing.
"That guy is riding my ass!"
Luka breathed softly.
"He is new. And I hear Dr. Romano had him hired. That says everything."
"Yeah," Ceila smirked.
Ceila's touch was gentle. Luka felt almost relaxed despite his injury.
"You left early this morning," Ceila said softly.
"I had to help Abby with something," Luka admitted.
Ceila's brow furrowed.
"What?"
"She needed something fixed," Luka answered.
Ceila continued to suture.
"It seems that every time you try to help her with something you end up getting hurt," she noticed.
Luka locked his jaw.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Their conversation was interrupted by McAllister's return. He had a vial and placed it on the treatment tray.
Ceila looked at the vial and shook her head.
"No, Dr. McAllister, this isn't ketamine. It's BZD. I suppose the pharmacy made a mistake and sent too much that down here. "
The man looked mortified.
"Oh," he said uneasily. "Someone should keep them in check."
"I really don't need anything," Luka insisted.
"I think it's best," McAllister returned and left for the drug lock-up once more.
Luka was frustrated.
"Am I invisible?"
Ceila rolled her eyes.
"To him you are!" She dabbed Luka's wound with cotton. "He should just give you something topical and be done with it!"
Luka smiled.
"He doesn't know what he is doing but you do," he snarked and gave Ceila a small thumbs-up.
She grinned.
**
McAllister paced back to the lock-up. Damn that brat, he thought. He opened the cupboard door and reached for some topical analgesic or even a minor dose of ketalar or haloperidol if it made that Euro-doctor feel better.
"Dr. McAllister?"
McAllister turned his head and reached into the cupboard.
"Yes?"
Haleh addressed him in the hall.
"Dr. Weaver has some forms she's like to go over with you when you've got the time."
McAllister nodded and clutched a vial.
"Yes. Thank you."
McAllister casually tossed the vial in the air and caught it. Best to finish things before it got really busy, he thought.
**
"I'm back!" McAllister smiled.
"I think the stitches are a little too tight," Luka observed.
Ceila seemed taken aback.
"I tried to make them small, not taut."
McAllister looked at Luka's hand.
"No. This is swelling. I'm going to relax the muscle and then apply a cold compress. That should reduce the swelling."
McAllister put some of the contents of the vial in a syringe.
"For the last time, I don't need an injection, Doctor," Luka refused.
"A topical's just not going to do it, Dr. Kovac," McAllister said as he grabbed Luka's wrist and injected the wound site. "You'll thank me when it doesn't hurt!"
Luka tried to pull back and stood up.
"What is it?!"
"Ketalar. Just a small dose. Don't worry," McAllister assured.
Luka sat back down.
"It doesn't look like it."
"You won't feel a thing," McAllister assured him.
Luka became gradually slack.
McAllister placed the used vial and syringe on the treatment tray.
"All done!"
McAllister turned to leave.
"Good work, nurse. Get Dr. Kovac a cold compress and finish the chart."
Ceila nodded uneasily.
"What a jerk-off!" she declared. "You told him you didn't want anything!"
Ceila now looked into Luka's eyes carefully.
"Luka?"
"It's hot in here," he replied quietly.
Luka's eyes were glassy and he slouched.
"Your pupils are dilated," she said. "Would you like to talk to another doctor?"
Luka shook his head uneasily.
Ceila now put her hands on her hips
"Well, whatever he gave you worked."
She started to clean up.
"It's hot in here," Luka repeated and removed his jacket.
"It's May and we're on the verge of summer, Luka," Ceila said as she threw away the rest of the used gauze. "I'll get you something to drink, if you like."
Luka's slouch became more pronounced.
Ceila turned to him. Her brow furrowed.
"Luka, are you alright?"
Ceila touched his skin. It was clammy and slowly draining of its warm olive colour.
"Luka?"
Luka exhaled difficult breath. His neck was like a flaccid stalk of corn. His head wobbled back and his muscles were too relaxed. He awkwardly swivelled his head to her.
"Plava oci."
His long fingers brushed her eyelashes gently.
"Luka, I'm going to get Dr. McAllister now," Ceila said softly. "Stay here, okay?"
Luka clasped her wrist tightly.
"No, don't go."
Luka stumbled upright.
"Somebody!" Ceila cried out.
Luka struggled to breathe but his muscles began to tense up again. His grip started to hurt Ceila's wrist.
"Luka, let go."
"Don't leave..." he panted.
Malik entered the room.
"Hey! What's up?"
"Find Dr. McAllister, Malik," Ceila said without removing her eyes from Luka. "Right now."
Malik furrowed his brow.
"What's wrong?" he asked. He now looked at Luka. "Hey, Dr. Kovac, you're not looking so good."
Luka burned Malik with a glassy glare.
"Stay away from me!"
Malik moved carefully to Luka.
"Dr. Kovac?"
Luka swung at Malik and sent him flying.
"Stay away from me!!"
**
Carter and Abby had been alerted to the sound of crashing in the treatment room. They ran in only to see Luka keeping everyone at bay with bleeding scarred hand.
"Stay away from me!"
Malik crawled back up, nursing a bleeding lip.
"He hit me!"
"He's altered!" Ceila cried.
"Get four of haloperidol, Abby," Carter advised sotto voce.
Abby slipped out of the room to get haloperidol.
Carter had his eyes locked on the manic Luka.
"Ceila, what did you give him?"
"I didn't give him anything...." she denied.
Before Ceila could finish explaining herself, Luka rushed Carter. He and Malik tried to restrain him. Carter had to virtually jump on top of him to stop him from fighting back. Luka fell against the wall but still pounded at the two men.
"Stay away from me!" he screamed.
Abby slipped between them and injected Luka with the haloperidol. The men let go of Luka. Luka propelled himself forward and staggered for a bit. He stared at Abby dumbly, flailed for a bit and fell into her arms. Ceila dropped to her knees and tried to examine Luka.
Haleh rushed into the treatment room. Everyone was breathless from exertions. Luka, she saw, had collapsed. His hair was drenched with sweat and his pallor was flushed. His hand was bleeding anew. He breathed with great difficulty.
"What happened?"
Abby could only look at Haleh helplessly.
"I don't know."
She cradled Luka in her arms. He panted for a bit and stopped convulsing.
Abby jogged the fallen man's head.
"Luka? Luka?"
Luka was still having trouble breathing.
"Get a crash cart now!" Carter yelled.
Luka was placed on a gurney and immediately all hands were over him. He started convulsing again.
"He's tachying at 140!" Abby cried.
"Blood pressure down to forty!" Ceila supplied.
Carter looked for pupil reaction.
"Ceila, step away from Dr. Kovac, now!"
Ceila's jaw fell. She stepped away from Luka and watched as the others tried to save him.
"I need to know what he was given!" Carter demanded. "Haleh, tox screen, arterial blood gas and chem seven. Where the hell is Dr. McAllister?!" Carter cried out. "Push 1 mg of Diprovan! We have to intubate!"
Abby was frustrated.
"He has to stop convulsing first."
Carter looked quickly at Ceila.
"What did you give him?"
Ceila shot a quick look at him.
"I didn't give him anything!"
"Dammit, Ceila! What was he given?!" Carter yelled.
"I don't know! Dr. McAllister said he gave him a shot of ketalar!"
Abby looked at her in horror.
"Ketalar? He has an allergy to ketamine!"
"I know," Ceila returned. "But Dr. McAllister gave him a dose, anyway. I don't think it was enough to hurt him."
"How much?" Carter demanded.
"What?" Ceila asked.
"How much?!" Carter demanded again.
"I don't know!" Ceila yelled back.
Haleh became flushed.
"There are no traces of ketamine."
Carter bit the inside of his cheek. He glared briefly at Ceila.
"I need to stop the convulsions," Carter said in measured rage. "Prepare a naloxene push. We have to flush whatever it is out of him."
"He's turning blue, John," Abby said in a broken voice. "His airway is compromised."
"Let me intubate," Ceila pleaded.
"I'm not letting you near him," Carter rasped. "A tube and forty of sux!" he demanded.
"He's still tachycardiac," Haleh said.
"I would be, too, if someone injected me with a drug I was allergic to," Carter sniped.
A nurse burst into the trauma room.
"Dr. McAllister just accompanied a patient to surgery."
"Shit!" Carter cussed under his breath. "Get him down here, will you?"
Luka threw a grand mal seizure. His back arched, the cords of his neck stood out and a scream tried to eke itself out of his throat. He fell back limp and moved no more.
"Prep the defibrillators to 340!"
Haleh pushed the sux and Carter intubated him. Abby prepared the defibrillators.
"Clear!" Carter cried and applied the defibrillators to Luka's chest.
Haleh looked quickly at the monitor.
"Nothing!"
"Again!" Carter cried and shocked Luka once more.
The monitor emitted a relieving beep.
"We have sinus rhythm," Abby said finally.
Carter rubbed the stress from his brow.
"Take him up to the ICU and continue to monitor him. Get an ECG and an EKG. And somebody find out what the hell he was given!"
Snapping off his gloves, Carter left the trauma room, glowering at Ceila the whole time.
**
Kerry hurried to the ICU. Luka, she saw, was being hooked up to a ventilator and IVs. He had been given something in the suture room and nearly died on the gurney. It couldn't be true but when Kerry saw the tall man lying motionless as the ICU nurses worked him over and Carter glaring at the student nurse she previously had faith in, it had to be true.
"Who told you could administer a potentially fatal drug?!" Carter yelled.
"I never did!" Ceila shot back.
"What's going on?!" Kerry demanded over the angry, raised voices of her subordinates.
Carter placed his hands on his hips.
"Student Nurse Kowalski was suturing a cut on Luka's hand and she claimed to have given him a dose of ketamine."
"I did not!" Ceila denied.
Kerry raised her hand for some quiet.
"Ceila, tell me what happened."
Ceila gulped once.
"I was suturing Dr. Kovac's hand. Dr. McAllister was observing. I asked if Dr. Kovac should have a mild anaesthetic. Dr. McAllister said yes and went to the drug lock-up to get it. He first brought back BZD. I pointed out his error and he left the room to get something else. Dr. Kovac didn't even want a painkiller but when Dr. McAllister returned he injected him with something."
"What was it?" Kerry asked.
"I didn't see," Ceila admitted. "I believe it was ketalar. At least that's what Dr. McAllister said it was."
"Didn't you check to see what it was?" Kerry pressed.
Ceila threw up her hands frustrated.
"No! He put it on the treatment tray and walked out of the suture room. And what am I supposed to do? Question the doctor?"
"You do it all the time!" Carter shot back.
Ceila gave him a glare.
"Dr. McAllister gave Dr. Kovac an injection without his consent. And I'm a student nurse remember? I don't push drugs, I change IVs and suture cuts!"
Kerry breathed softly.
"Is the treatment tray still in the suture room?" she asked.
Ceila thought for a second.
"Dr. Kovac was altered. He became violent and stuff was thrown everywhere."
"Find it," Kerry ordered.
"You won't find it," McAllister said.
He was standing in the doorway and had been apprised by one of the nurses of what happened.
"Where the hell were you?" Carter demanded.
"He was with a patient," Kerry explained desperately. "But we need to figure out how this all happened, so please, no recriminations."
"All I did was administer a topical analgesic," McAllister said.
Ceila turned pale.
"No, that's not true!"
All eyes turned to him.
"I did not administer an injection," he denied.
Carter did not believe him.
"Please explain why Dr. Kovac threw a grand mal seizure and went into cardiovascular and respiratory distress."
McAllister now looked at him, coldly.
"I didn't say he didn't get an injection. All I am saying is I didn't give him one. I did initially retrieve ketamine from the drug lock-up prior to the suturing but Dr. Kovac warned me that he had an allergy to it so I never used it."
"Did you return the ketamine?" Kerry asked.
"Yes," McAllister answered.
"So what was Dr. Kovac given?" Carter asked.
"I don't know," McAllister denied. "You'll have to ask Student Nurse Kowalski."
Ceila gaped and then turned angry.
"You lying son-of-a-bitch!"
Carter held her back.
"Ceila would never do that!" Kerry insisted.
"The proof," McAllister put forth, "is in Dr. Kovac's bloodstream."
McAllister steeled himself.
"I don't know what Dr. Kovac was given but I can assure you I did not give it to him."
He gulped.
"I do, however, feel responsible."
With that, McAllister left the room.
Ceila, now free from Carter's lock, swivelled to Kerry in search of credibility.
"Do you believe that son-of-a-bitch? He is lying! You have to believe me..."
Kerry coldly looked at Ceila.
"I want you to go home, Ceila. Do not speak of this to anyone."
Ceila bit on her lip and fled the room.
Carter now turned to Kerry.
"You know, Malucci did something stupid like that, too."
Kerry only scowled at Carter.
"She is not Malucci!"
Kerry crutched off to the drug lock-up in the ER. She opened the cupboard door and started counting. Her fingers brushed over haldol, lidocaine, and ketamine. She counted each one and tried to think what was missing.
**
Kerry returned to the ICU ward. Romano, she could see, was waiting for her.
He crossed his arms and glared at her.
"Kerry, it seems that there is always someone being badly hurt in your ER."
Kerry clenched her jaw.
"Robert..."
"Before you bore me with endless details, I'd like to get an update on Luka's condition," he interrupted. "To see if he won't sue us after he wakes up."
Romano entered the room where Luka was.
"If he wakes up."
Luka lay motionless with a tube down his throat to help him breathe.
Kerry was breathless. He was like a fractured god, still beautiful yet so broken.
Romano approached a nurse on duty and inquired about Luka's condition.
"He isn't breathing on his own, his blood pressure is dangerously low and his heart barely registers a beat," the ICU nurse explained.
Romano took his light-pen, lifted Luka's eyelids and peered into his eyes.
"Pupils are nonreactive."
"These machines are keeping him alive," the nurse said. "One more thing- the complete tox screen came in. He had a dangerously high level of lidocaine in his blood."
Both Kerry and Romano were surprised.
"Lidocaine?" Kerry quizzed. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the nurse nodded and returned to her other duties.
"Lidocaine toxicity!" Romano huffed. "Son-of-a-bitch!"
He composed himself.
"Kovac's brother isn't a lawyer, is he?"
Kerry nodded.
"I believe he is."
Romano steeled himself.
"Well, I don't think I need to tell you what creek we're up."
"Robert, I don't think Ceila is responsible," Kerry said in a small voice.
Romano's eyes rolled.
"I'm not interested in your desire to play mommy to some smart-ass who pushes potentially fatal drugs to patients."
Kerry clenched her jaw.
"That's not Ceila and you know it!"
She kept her voice down so the ICU nurses wouldn't hear.
"Ceila has been eager and curious but when has she ever taken it on herself to do something like this?"
"There's always a first time for everything," Romano said and made his way out.
**
Abby's lips quivered as she smoked her last cigarette. She couldn't go back into the ER or face Carter (given that he was irate with someone she knew he was attracted to). All Abby could do was smoke the last of her cigarette and wait.
"Abby?"
Abby looked up. Susan had just started her shift.
"Are you okay?" she asked.
Abby mashed out her cigarette with her foot.
"No," she answered. "Luka."
Susan nodded.
"Yeah. I heard. I can't believe Kowalski would do something that stupid!" Susan spat.
Abby shook her head and chewed her nails.
"Neither can I. And that's part of the problem."
**
Ceila was in the doctor's lounge, desperately avoiding or ignoring the glares of other doctors and nurses. She couldn't leave the hospital. She thought of Luka and then Dr. McAllister. She could not believe someone would lie like that.
She peered out the door to see if the coast was clear. McAllister was going to the elevator.
"Dr. McAllister!"
McAllister was surprised to see her.
"You are supposed to be at home, Kowalski, and I am not supposed to talk to you nor you to me."
Ceila jumped into the elevator with him.
"What is going on?"
McAllister looked at her strangely and pressed a button for a floor.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play stupid with me!" she huffed indignantly. "You gave Dr. Kovac something- something which caused him to become mentally altered and eventually go into cardiac and respiratory distress!"
"Did I? He's also in now a coma," McAllister casually stated.
Ceila's jaw dropped.
"What?"
"Dr. Kovac is now in a coma."
Ceila trembled and turned quite pale. She crossed her arms.
"You gave him too much ketamine or BZD or..."
"I did no such thing," McAllister denied.
Ceila turned red.
"Goddammit! Don't you lie to me! I was there!"
"And what did you see, Student Nurse Kowalski?" McAllister challenged. "What was in the vial? Where is it now? What did Dr. Kovac ask for?"
Ceila uncrossed her arms.
"You're sandbagging me."
McAllister looked straight at her.
"I don't think that what's happening here, Student Nurse Kowalski. You made an error that nearly cost a patient his life. You've jeopardized not only him but the hospital and its reputation as a teaching facility."
Ceila couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"That's not true."
McAllister stared at her steely before exiting the elevator.
"Prove it."
**
Ceila had to see if McAllister's words were actually true. She charged to the ICU but then her legs became sluggish. She would soon see her lover teetering toward death. When there might have been something she could have done before, she could do nothing now.
Ceila slowly marched to Luka's room in the ICU. Romano stopped her.
"Hey, Buffy, Attending-Slayer! Where do you think you're going?"
Ceila stopped. She did not look at Romano.
"I wanted to check on Dr. Kovac," she answered.
"Let me save you the trouble," Romano rasped. "He's in a coma with next to no brain, cardiac or respiratory function and just as much possibility of pulling out of it."
She bit on her lip.
Romano huffed.
"Please don't tell me that you're going to cry!"
Ceila avoided looking right at him.
"No."
Romano nodded.
"I see. Are you hoping then that Dr. Kovac won't sue you? He won't, given that he's now a gork, but his family might," he spat. "I'd find myself a good lawyer if I were you."
Ceila met his cold glare.
"I had such high hopes for you," he admitted in a low voice before leaving Ceila to wallow in her sense of hopelessness.
**
Ceila had been riding the elevator for half an hour now, pushing buttons forcelessly.
Gallant stepped in and gazed at the slouching girl.
"Are you going to tell me what a royal fuck-up I am?" she sputtered, without even looking at him. "Or did you just start your shift and are horribly out of the loop?"
"No," he said softly. "I know what's up."
Gallant pressed the button for his floor. He carefully looked at her.
"You should go home and get some rest."
Ceila barely looked at him.
"I can't."
She sniffed.
"And I can't go or see him, either. Do you see the dilemma I'm in?"
Her jaw quivered.
"I've killed him. I know it."
Ceila steadied herself.
"Since I got here, Dr. Kovac has always been good to me. Dr. Weaver has, too. Boy, have I repaid their faith in me!"
Gallant looked on her sympathetically.
"I have faith in you," he admitted. "I don't think you let them down. A mistake was made..."
"I didn't make it, Michael," she spoke quickly. "Please believe that. No one else will."
"I believe you," Gallant said softly. "For what it's worth."
Ceila smiled softly at him.
"Thank you."
"I'm going to see him myself. Come with me," Gallant offered.
Ceila took his hand.
"I'll do that."
The elevator stopped on the ICU floor and the two made their way to Luka's room. They could see even in the dimmed lights Luka's wretched condition.
"God..." Ceila sighed and her shoulders caved in.
Gallant rested his hand on her arm.
**
It was six AM.
Kerry had made special effort to get to work much earlier than usual, in case Luka had made any progress. The ICU ward is especially quiet.
McAllister was there, peering at his felled patient through the window. He was standing next to a henna-haired woman- Tess McDermott, the pathologist.
"Tess," Kerry nodded politely. "Dr. McAllister."
Tess, likewise, nodded though she didn't particularly like Kerry. She returned her gaze to Luka.
"I found out something about your handsome attending," Tess offered. "He inherited his mild allergy to ketamine from his mother. You see, Eastern European hospitals don't believe in natural childbirth one bit. They drug women in labour so much that they are on a entirely different plane of existence, which might explain some of their films."
"I missed your cynicism, Tess," Kerry dryly admitted. "I have no idea how we would have survived medical school without it."
"And I missed your love for your fellow man and your warm personality," Tess retorted. "But if I may be allowed to finish. The ketamine push they gave his mother passed through the umbilical cord to him. Luckily, the effect lasted only seconds at birth but a lifetime for him. He also had long legs- a strapping twenty inches he was at birth. That's no baby for a petite woman. Good thing that Mama Kovac is as strapping as her boy."
"If I may divert this conversation to something "less" important," McAllister said impatiently. "I want to know his status."
"They're going to run another EKG on him," Tess said. "But so far, nothing."
Kerry touched the glass.
"Zero to two milligrams of ketamine or its equivalent would cause minor disorientation and hallucinations. Anything over five milligrams would be enough to kill him."
Kerry's knuckle rapped the glass.
"But Dr. Kovac suffered lidocaine toxicity. Of course, you didn't know that, did you, Dr. McAllister?"
"No," McAllister replied without looking at her.
He touched the glass lightly.
"It's a shame," he said. "A life gone to waste like that. Is there any chance he may recover?"
Kerry shook her head.
"It doesn't look promising."
McAllister gulped.
"I'm sure Student Nurse Kowalski never meant to kill him."
Tess drew out steely anger.
"Maybe she should have. If he fails the apnoea test, he'll be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life."
"I think I should try to talk to Kowalski," McAllister offered. "I feel responsible."
"No," Kerry refused. "I think it would be best if the two of you did not speak of this, to yourselves or anyone."
McAllister bit his lip.
"If you think it's best."
McAllister left the women to start his shift.
"What's going to happen to Kowalski?" Tess asked.
"She'd never be able to be a nurse," Kerry said softly.
"That's not good enough," Tess said, nodding her head in an ominous way. "Considering."
**
Kerry finally started her shift. The nurses whiled away the quiet time before the next trauma by folding sheets in a treatment room.
Haleh neared Chuny.
"Apparently, Nanuq from the North is up for the chopping block. Her skinny ass is gone!"
Chuny giggled.
Kerry's presence put an end to the cruel gossip.
"Haleh, I'd like to speak to you for a moment."
Haleh left her folding and joined Kerry outside.
"Haleh, did you see anything yesterday?" she asked.
Haleh wondered at Kerry's vagary.
"I saw a lot things, Dr. Weaver."
"I mean, with Dr. McAllister," Kerry explained. "Did you notice him take anything from the drug lock-up?"
Haleh thought for a second.
"I saw him
return
something but
I couldn't
tell you when
that was."
"When was that?" Kerry asked.
"Oh, two in the afternoon, I think," Haleh answered,
"I mean- before or after Dr. Kovac came in with his hand laceration?" Kerry clarified.
"Oh, he was nowhere near the drug lock-up before Dr. Kovac came in," Haleh said. "He was at the admit desk talking to Carter about something and then Dr. Kovac came in. He went straight to the room with Kowalski and started stitching him up. He must have left the room after that because he was in the drug lock-up when I told him he had some paperwork to do."
Kerry nodded.
"Thank you, Haleh. Please don't repeat this to anyone."
Haleh raised a curious brow.
"Is this about Student Nurse Kowalski?"
Kerry put her finger to her lips.
"Please, Haleh, not a word."
**
Kerry was by herself in the lounge. She alone had the unpleasant task of informing Ceila that a hearing would convene. The girl would be at home, unable to do anything in her defence. Kerry picked up the phone and dialled Ceila's number.
"Ceila?"
"Yes, Dr. Weaver?" the girl's voice was like liquid silver. "Is Dr. Kovac alright? No one will tell me anything."
Kerry bit her lip.
"No change," she regretted. She paused for difficult breath. "I've spoken to the board. A hearing will be convened for tomorrow."
Silence.
"Ceila?" Kerry called.
She could hear Ceila breathing.
"Yes?"
"I am sorry. I really am," Kerry apologized. "I tried to talk to them."
Ceila's voice was low and soft.
"Thank you, Dr. Weaver."
Kerry continued.
"What I'd like you to do is to write down everything you remember. Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Ceila answered, "but it's not going to do any good."
Kerry would not let her be discouraged.
"Don't say that, Ceila. Be here early."
"Alright," Ceila confirmed.
Kerry hung up the phone. She rapped her knuckles on the table and hoped that Ceila had at least an ounce of the confidence she displayed in her time working in the ER.
**
8 AM.
An ordinary sunny day, curiously, was judgment day for some.
The board of physicians had convened in the meeting room. They chattered softly with each other, discussing the quality of the danish and occasionally looking at their notes to see whom they were interviewing. Romano was there. He said nothing but waited, tapping the rim of his glass of water. Kerry came in and sat at the back of the room. Ceila, she saw, was early. Her long black hair was tied back severely. She wore a long beige skirt and a soft pink short-sleeved shirt. She looked more cute than adult. She wrung her hands and kept her head down. McAllister was in the front of the room. He sat up straight with his head held high and waited patiently. Abby entered the room and sat next to Kerry. She gave Kerry a brief grave look and waited for the hearing to begin.
Romano cleared his throat, a signal that the hearing would start.
"We're about to begin."
Romano looked coldly at Ceila.
"Miss Kowalski, I advise you to leave for this portion of the hearing. Don't stray too far."
Ceila wordlessly rose from her seat and walked out of the room.
McAllister sat before the board, cleared his throat and sipped a glass of water.
A doctor joined his fingers together and addressed McAllister.
"Please state your name."
"Doctor Rick McAllister," he stated. "I was chief resident at Chicago Memorial before accepting an attending position at Hudson Terrace Medical Centre in New York."
The doctor spoke again.
"Please explain, to the best of your recollection, the events of the day in question."
McAllister's gaze slightly veered left.
"Dr. Kovac came into the ER, presenting with a hand laceration about eight centimetres in length and I estimated less than two millimetres deep. Blood loss was minimal and I determined there was no nerve damage. However, there was slight muscular damage causing Dr. Kovac discomfort."
"What was your course of treatment?" the doctor asked.
"I instructed Student Nurse Kowalski to prep Dr. Kovac while I retrieved a vial of ketamine from the drug lock-up," McAllister answered. "I entered the room and instructed her to irrigate the wound, which she did, and the proceed with the sutures."
The doctor was confused.
"You did not suture?"
McAllister shook his head.
"No."
Another doctor spoke.
"You did not administer any analgesic?"
"At first, no," McAllister replied. "I was concerned once Dr. Kovac experienced pain and told him I had ketamine. He told me he had an allergy to ketamine so I returned the vial."
The second doctor resumed her questioning.
"Did Student Nurse Kowalski administer anything- to your knowledge?"
"To my knowledge- no. She had irrigated the wound..."
The second doctor was now confused.
"Wait- she irrigated the wound before or after you entered the room?"
McAllister thought for a moment.
"She may have
done that
before I
instructed her
to proceed
with
suturing."
The first
doctor spoke
up.
"Were there any drugs present?"
McAllister did not look at the board.
"I do not recall."
The first doctor wrote this down.
A third doctor now spoke.
"How would you characterize Student Nurse Kowalski's attitude during treatment?"
McAllister crossed his legs and joined his hands. His entire demeanour was one of cold, hard confidence.
"Student Nurse Kowalski's attitude was certainly not one I would classify as professional. It seemed she was infatuated with Dr. Kovac. She smiled and joked with him. Her attention was elsewhere, for certain."
McAllister swallowed an obstruction.
"I take full responsibility for not curbing this behaviour."
Romano looked on him with all the sympathy he could muster.
"That will be all, Dr. McAllister," the first doctor said.
With that, McAllister got up and left.
The doctors collected their notes.
Abby crossed her arms and leaned over to whisper in Kerry's ear.
"That's bullshit! I've seen Ceila work with Luka before and she's never been the go-getter! Not like that." Abby swallowed hard. "McAllister's a fucking bullshit artist!"
Kerry knew it.
"If you are going to lie, you better have a good memory. And I think his is failing."
Kerry's brow furrowed.
"He said he went to get a vial of ketamine before Ceila started suturing? That's not right. Why did the board miss that?"
Abby shushed her.
Ceila was called in.
Kerry smiled at her slightly. Ceila returned the smile.
Ceila sat before the board.
"Please state you name."
"Ceila Kowalski," she answered. "Third year nursing student."
"Please describe the events of the day in question," the third doctor asked.
Ceila gulped.
"I was called to assist on a hand laceration. Dr. Kovac was the patient. His laceration was no more than seven or eight centimetres in length. Dr. McAllister wanted me to apply the sutures. I retrieved a suture kit and irrigated the wound. This was done while Dr. McAllister supervised."
"So he did not retrieve anything before you began suturing?" the second doctor asked.
"No," Ceila answered. "When Dr. Kovac experienced discomfort..."
"Did he experience discomfort because of your sutures?" the second doctor asked stiffly.
Ceila looked affronted.
"He experienced discomfort because of swelling, not because of nerve or muscular damage or my sutures. I had sutured before, under strict supervision, and have had no complaints either from the staff or the patients."
Kerry was proud of the girl's strength and confidence.
The second doctor seemed halted.
"What happened when Dr. Kovac experienced discomfort?"
"I asked Dr. McAllister if a mild anaesthetic should be used or a topical analgesic," Ceila answered. "Dr. McAllister said ketamine was needed. Dr. Kovac told him of his allergy to ketamine. Dr. McAllister left the room and came in with a vial of BZD. I told him he had the wrong vial. He left again and returned with another vial. I don't really know what was in it. Dr. McAllister said it was ketalar. He then injected Dr. Kovac with it."
Ceila paused.
"Dr. McAllister insisted that Dr. Kovac receive an injection even though he didn't want one. He made Dr. Kovac take one. I don't even think he knew what was in it and Dr. McAllister certainly wasn't truthful about its contents."
The first doctor wasn't swayed by Ceila's confident testimony.
"What happened to this vial?"
Ceila shook her head.
"I don't know."
"Did you remove it? Did you dispose of it?" the second doctor asked.
Ceila was becoming angry.
"No! Dr. Kovac became altered and stuff was thrown around the room. I don't know what happened to it!"
The second doctor gripped her pen and gazed at Ceila with a white-hot glare.
"What if I were to tell you that no such vial was found?"
Ceila became silent.
"I didn't inject Dr. Kovac with anything. I would never do that. Not ever. Not to him."
"Why should we believe you?" the first doctor asked. "Last November, you and Dr. Kovac sealed yourself in a room, in your words, 'to protect a patient'. I must say, Miss Kowalski, I am not finding you credible at this point."
Ceila's braced her jaw in earnest response.
"I have never endangered a patient, nor did I give Dr. Kovac anything that would harm him!"
The doctors gazed at Ceila coldly.
"That will be all," the third doctor pronounced.
Ceila's eyes flashed with anger. She rose from her chair with a clenched fist at her side.
Kerry bowed her head. She felt that Ceila's testimony would only cost her.
Carter walked past Ceila. Ceila stopped at the door and looked at him.
"Please state your name," the third doctor asked.
Carter's back was straight and his head was upright. Nothing about him belied his purpose.
"Doctor John Truman Carter. Chief resident."
"Please describe the events of August tenth," the third doctor asked.
Carter drew in breath.
"A patient came in with minor facial lacerations and contusions after being in a car accident. Labs were drawn and an EEG was about to be performed. In the mean time, the patient experienced convulsions."
"What did Student Nurse Kowalski do?" the first doctor asked.
Carter gulped.
"Student Nurse Kowalski wanted to administer atavin."
The second doctor looked surprised.
"Did you allow her?"
Carter shook his head.
"No. It was determined that the patient suffered epilepsy that was undiagnosed for years. In all fairness, Student Nurse Kowalski did bring attention to it but was unaware of how to treat it, especially given that the labs and EEG were not ready."
"Has she done anything similar?" the third doctor asked.
Carter's demeanour became cold.
"She has expressed what some of my colleagues have termed "excessive enthusiasm" in practising medicine. She expressed desire to do intubations, IV changes, things like that."
The first doctor nodded.
"That will be all."
Ceila could not believe what was happening. She hurriedly walked from the room to the elevator. Carter followed her.
"I'm sorry, Ceila," Carter apologized.
She did not look at him.
"You were overstepping your bounds," Carter reminded her.
"And you used to inject fentanyl into your veins!" she rasped.
She now looked at him with cold, accusing eyes.
"You're not the only one who knows how to be petty!"
All Carter could do was clench his jaw. He had no idea how cruel she could be, nor did he understand that only one opinion mattered to her.
Ceila moved from the elevator, having elected to take the stairs instead.
**
The hearing was over. Abby and Kerry watched as Romano stormed out of the room wordlessly.
"That guy never misses a chance to fry someone!" Abby snarked.
Kerry nodded her head in agreement.
"I just hope Ceila's testimony was good enough."
Kerry thought for a second.
"Why did McAllister come here?"
Abby shrugged.
"I dunno. Happier climes?"
Kerry shook her head.
"This pasture is not as green as others," Kerry muttered.
She excused herself from Abby.
"I've got homework to do."
**
Ceila's fingers brushed over Luka's long eyelashes carefully.
"Dragi , probuditi se. Imam ne?to re?i vam."
He did not stir.
Ceila stifled a sob.
"I was here once. I know you can hear me."
She leaned closer to speak into his ear.
"Things are going to be right somehow. You're going to come back to me, and when you do, I have so many things to tell you."
Ceila rose from her chair next to Luka's bed. She kissed his cheek.
"O?ekivati mene."
Ceila left the room, wiping away hot tears.
**
Kerry scurried about the admittance desk.
Frank presented a yellow piece of paper to her.
"Dr. Kovac's brother called. He wants to know his status."
Kerry looked at the paper thoughtfully.
"Thank you, Frank."
Kerry continued scurrying. She was about to ask Frank for something.
"Looking for this?"
Susan waved a fax in Kerry's face as she munched on an apple.
Kerry snatched the fax from Susan and read it.
Susan still munched on her apple.
"Looks like Dr. McAllister's in hot water."
Kerry looked puzzled.
"I thought you didn't care about Student Nurse Kowalski."
Susan shook her head.
"I don't," she roughly admitted. "But if Junior's not here then I'm stuck for a human piƱata."
Kerry couldn't help smirk.
"Did you know that Junior is also allergic to ketamine?" Susan asked between bites of the apple.
Kerry shook her head.
Susan nodded.
"Yep. Doubt she would be so free and easy with something that could give her convulsions."
Kerry nodded.
"McAllister might."
**
Prayer is the last refuge of the scoundrel.
Ceila pondered at that saying as she entered the church. What else was she supposed to do, she wondered.
Slumping into a pew, she scolded herself. Piety was best reserved for Sundays and faith had no place in a world of concrete facts. She thought these things before and now she could not think why she had all abandoned but the faith she was raised in as a child. She needed it now, especially as the world of man had turned on her.
Ceila stared at the statue of Saint Theresa in the side chapel. The poreless plaster statue seemed to look back at her vacantly. Ceila knelt, made the Sign of the Cross and began to pray.
**
Lizzie walked the floor of the ICU to check up on a patient who was now on bypass. She could see hurried movement in the ward. The ICU nurse called her into the room. Wasting no time, Lizzie ran in to assist. She could not believe it. The comatose Luka stirred and struggled to breathe on his own.
Lizzie and the nurse started to extubate the man. He coughed and sputtered and then became dazed. Lizzie wiped away excess saliva from his lips.
"Luka, do you know where you are?"
Luka did not answer her. He stared at the ceiling with a relaxed expression.
"Luka?" Lizzie asked again.
Luka now looked at her. He only smiled and touched her hand.
**
Kerry could hardly believe it when she received word of it. She had to race down to the ICU to confirm it with her own eyes. Luka had regained consciousness. Not only had he regained consciousness but his condition had been upgraded to fair. It was as though nothing had happened to him.
Tess joined her in her wonderment.
Tess smiled.
"I'm glad."
Kerry doubted it. Tess always wanted her pound of flesh and didn't care from where she got it.
"I didn't want it to happen, Kerry. Really."
Kerry doubted her but decided not to argue the point.
"As long as he is recovered," Kerry nodded.
Kerry entered the room. Lizzie and Abby were with him. Abby held his hand and repeatedly told him how lucky he was. Luka was insensible to it all. He was weary but responsive.
"Luka!" Kerry cried as she joined the other two women at his bedside. "How are you?"
Luka inhaled.
"I feel alive but tired. Isn't that odd?"
"What is odd is your recovery!" Kerry exclaimed. "Somebody up there is looking after you!"
Luka was perplexed.
"What recovery? I cut my hand! Why am I here?"
Kerry was agape.
Lizzie looked at Luka.
"You mean- you really don't remember what happened?"
Luka looked at her innocently.
"No."
Kerry had to sit down.
"Luka, you suffered from lidocaine toxicity. Someone gave you lidocaine for your hand. Don't you remember?"
Luka only smiled.
"No one would do a thing like that, Kerry. That would be stupid."
"Luka, we nearly lost you," Abby related.
None of the explanations had any effect on Luka.
"From a cut hand?"
Abby rolled her eyes.
"No! You had a grand mal seizure. You had cardiac and respiratory distress. You lost nearly all brain function!"
Luka now realized the severity of their accounts.
"This can't be. I don't remember any of this."
Lizzie nodded sympathetically.
"Your memory will return. It will, also, take a while for you to get your co-ordination back," Lizzie said.
A cup fell from the bedside table. With one swift movement, Luka caught it and placed it back on the table.
Abby's eyes bugged out.
"Wow."
Lizzie, likewise, was astounded.
"Well, you're recovering nicely," she said as she rose from her chair. "I'll leave you to rest."
"So will I," Abby concurred as she left with Lizzie.
Luka was still perplexed.
"It was just a cup," he said as he looked at Kerry puzzled.
Kerry tapped his hand.
"It's been a tense few days," she said.
Luka was downcast.
"I've been asleep for a few days?"
Kerry nodded.
"Do you really remember nothing?"
Luka nodded.
"My hand was hurt."
Kerry sighed.
"Get some rest, Luka. You've got shifts next week!"
Luka rolled his eyes at her joke.
**
Gallant could hardly contain his excitement. He hid in a storage closet and pressed a preset dial on his cell phone.
"Ceila? You've got to come down! It's Dr. Kovac. He's pulled through!"
**
McAllister could not believe the news. In fact, no one could. Luka was expected to die but did not. His memory of the event was virtually nonexistent, however. McAllister adjusted his tie and moved away from the crowd of staff relating Luka's miraculous recovery to each other. He stopped when he hit a solid body. He turned to see who it was. A little red- haired woman glared at him.
"I'd like to talk to you."
McAllister followed Kerry to the lounge. Pratt was munching on a sandwich while Gallant was finishing the last of his yogurt.
"Make yourselves scarce, boys," Kerry commanded.
With haste, they left the lounge but hung around unawares to hear what was going to happen.
Kerry glared at McAllister.
"You thought you could get away with it."
McAllister looked down on her.
"I don't know what you mean."
Kerry huffed.
"Don't play this game with me! I know you went to the drug lock-up twice after Dr. Kovac arrived and I also know he did not want an injection."
McAllister smirked.
"Did Student Nurse Kowalski tell you that?"
Kerry returned his question with a dirty look. She presented the fax to him.
"She's a little more credible than you."
McAllister looked pale.
Kerry's face bore a look of clean disgust.
"You're a...You're a. fucking bullshit artist!" Kerry accused as she pulled the fax from his hands.
Outside of the lounge, Gallant raised a scandalized brow.
"Wow!" he muttered under his breath to Pratt. "Dr. Weaver is a cussmouth!"
Kerry marched out of the lounge.
Pratt and Gallant hugged the wall, hoping not to be seen.
Pratt blew out anxious air.
"Damn! I'd hate to be McAllister now!"
**
Ceila ran like a woman possessed. Her hair had become undone and her clothes no longer had their neat and pressed orderliness. She bolted to the ICU where Luka convalesced alone. She burst through the doors and ran to Luka's side. She could not contain her joy as she pressed her lips to Luka's. She embraced him tightly.
"I knew you'd come back!"
She broke from her embrace and held Luka's face in her hands.
"Do you hate me?"
Luka was confused.
"Why?"
He kissed her.
"I could never hate you."
He held Ceila tightly.
Ceila, feeling absolved somehow, relaxed in his embrace.
**
Romano did not want to hear from Kerry. His hand gripped the tumbler of scotch (the stuff he had hidden in his desk) with his back to the night sky.
A knock disturbed his silently foul mood.
"Yes?"
Kerry stood at his door with a fax in her hand. She let herself in and sat at Romano's desk.
"I've been looking for you."
Romano nodded.
"Yeah, I thought you would."
He opened the top drawer and pulled out his bottle of scotch.
"Want a drink?"
Kerry shook her head.
"I think you know why I'm here."
Romano braced himself.
"Yeah."
He swigged his drink.
"Kovac remembers nothing and Kowalski's in the clear."
"I thought she would be," Kerry admitted.
Romano chuckled.
"Yeah, you would."
Kerry cleared her throat.
"I know you didn't want to believe the worst in Student Nurse Kowalski so I'll spare you the trouble of mentioning it, but you don't have that luxury with McAllister," she said.
Kerry presented the fax to Romano.
"What is this?" he asked as he scanned the document.
"Three months ago, Dr. McAllister administered a fatal dose of atavin to a twelve year old girl," Kerry explained.
Romano shook his head.
"No, no, it can't.uh.. No."
"It's true, Robert," Kerry affirmed. "He claimed he was exhausted at the time of the dosage. He resigned to avoid further trouble."
Romano shoved the paper away.
"This is the same doctor who stabilized a stroke patient everyone else had given up on.."
Kerry sighed heavily.
"Robert, he may very well have been a competent physician."
"Is!" Romano snapped.
"He nearly killed someone and was prepared to let a nursing student take the fall!" Kerry angrily returned. "What has to happen before he really does kill someone?"
Romano buried his face in his hands.
"Let me talk to him," he pleaded. "I'll talk to him."
Kerry relented. She rose from her seat.
"Do that, Robert, before it's out of your hands," Kerry warned.
**
McAllister sat before Romano with an empty tumbler waiting to be filled with alcohol. He smiled.
"You going to let this thing sit empty, Robert, or is there a bottle of Absolut in your drawer waiting to be poured?"
Romano was in no mood for levity.
"It's scotch, actually."
McAllister shrugged.
"A classic."
"I know about the atavin kid," Romano interrupted.
McAllister was taken aback.
"I don't know what you mean," he stammered.
Romano grimaced.
"Don't shit me, Rick! We've been through too much!"
McAllister clenched his fist.
"Look, Robert."
Romano shook his head and rubbed his mouth.
"I have no idea when you started plummeting to the ground, Rick, but this can't go any further."
Romano sat up.
"You've lied in your initial statement and lied to the board so I don't know how you're going to get out of this, but I do know that Kovac has no memory of all of this, and even if he did, he's not the litigious kind. Kowalski- well, she's a different pack of cards."
McAllister bit his lips and stared down. He wrung his hands.
"I swear to God, Robert, I never, ever meant to hurt him."
Romano did not look at him.
"I'm sure you didn't."
McAllister went pale.
"You pull one twelve hour shift and then another and then you realize you've worked twenty-fours without stop and.. somewhere in the back of your mind you think: did I give that patient too much of something?"
He bit his knuckle.
"And that's when the shit really hits the fan."
Romano looked at his friend, the same look he offered him at the hearing.
"I want to feel bad for you, Rick," Romano offered softly, "but you damn near killed someone and were willing to let a kid go down for it. That's a real crap thing to do and the Rick I knew would agree with me."
Romano joined his hands together.
"You go to the board tomorrow and come clean."
McAllister smirked.
"Commit professional suicide? What the hell have you been breathing in?"
Romano's jaw squared.
"You can go to them or I'll rat you out."
McAllister gaped in disbelief.
"Shit, man, that's cold."
Romano nodded.
"Yeah, as cold as setting a kid up for a fall and nearly killing her boyfriend."
Romano looked away from McAllister.
"Give Bridget my hellos, will you?"
McAllister nodded and stood up. He moved his mouth as he would speak but said nothing. McAllister turned and walked out the door.
Romano finally pulled out the scotch and poured himself another drink.
**
11 PM.
The paramedic read the bullet.
"White male in his late thirties pulled out of the river."
Susan looked at the victim in disgust.
"Shit! This day just gets better, doesn't it?"
Carter checked the man's pupils.
"Nonreactive."
Carter shook his head.
"He's been down too long."
Susan had no choice but to agree.
"Time of death: 11:05."
**
Kerry knocked on Romano's door.
"Come in."
Kerry saw that he was leaving.
"Robert."
"I convinced McAllister to commit professional suicide," Romano rattled off cavalierly.
He clenched his car keys in his hand.
"I'm sure he'll thank me for it someday, like when hell experiences a Minnesota winter!"
Kerry pursed her lips together.
"Robert, I'm sorry but.. they found Dr. McAllister's body in the river. It was too late to get him back. I'm sorry."
Romano bit his lip. He clenched his car keys tighter.
"Good night, Kerry," he said quietly and walked out of his office.
*
