Harder To Breathe

The elevator was quickly rising to the roof.
Ceila finished braiding her hair.
"What's the disposition?"
Carter handed her the plasma cooler.
"A maintenance worker was trying to fix a broken gas main," Carter explained. "The pipe ended up blowing on him. As far as we know, he's got flash burns and he appears to be impaled on something."
Ceila's eyes contained a glint of excitement.
"Yummy," she drawled in her dry way.
Carter looked at his watch.
"By the way, you're not air-sick or afraid of heights, are you?"
Ceila scoffed.
"No!"
Carter looked at her once.
"Good."
The silence of the elevator was broken by the whirring of the helicopter blades.
Carter and Ceila hopped onto the helicopter and it took off.
"Malucci could never go on the helicopter because it made him sick," Carter said.
Ceila grinned.
"I can believe that. He used to get nauseous on our climbs outside of Norman Wells."
Carter chuckled.
"Well, I saw you this morning eating nothing but crackers while you were going over paperwork. Didn't look too healthy, in my opinion."
Ceila was evasive.
"I wasn't too hungry for breakfast."
Carter tightened the buckle of his safety belt.
"You'll need a breakfast of champions after this trauma!"
Ceila could only offer cynicism.
"I don't know why you guys think I can't handle the workload! Since arriving at County General, I've presided over two births, numerous active core-re-warmings, five burn victims- both minor and major, numerous fractures, lacerations, sprains, bruisings, frostbite, myocardial infarctions, shootings, stabbings, dialysis, chemotherapy, surgeries, and a crazy girl who bit me! In short, I've done everything you guys have thrown at me!"
Carter did not look impressed.
"Really? I thought you only collected samples!"
Ceila could have slapped him.
"We touch down in five minutes!" the pilot announced.
Ceila sucked on her cheeks. The slap would have to wait.

The helicopter landed on an abandoned scrub on the outskirts of the city. A rescue team was on site.
Once Carter and Ceila hopped off the helicopter they ran to the incident commander.
"Dr. Carter from County General," Carter introduced himself and pointed to Ceila "Student Nurse Kowalski!"
The incident commander looked at Ceila.
"Do you know a Detective Kowalski from the 33rd?" he asked.
Ceila smiled.
"My dad works at the 27th now!"
"We can get friendly later!" Carter reminded them. "Where's the patient?"
The incident commander led them to a manhole.
"He's still down there! We got somebody to shut off the gas but it's gonna take some time to cut him loose! He's impaled at the shoulder on a cable, see? And it's a tight squeeze!"
Ceila was losing colour.
"Underground? I thought he was on the surface."
The incident commander shook his head.
"Oh no! He had to go under for this job! You're not bothered, are ya?"
Ceila steeled her jaw defiantly.
"No!" she denied.
Ceila made her way to the manhole.
"It's safe to go in, yeah?" Carter asked.
"For now," the incident commander said. "But the tunnel's unstable. You've gotta get the guy out of there double-quick-time."
Carter nodded and made way for the manhole.
"Hey!" the incident commander shouted. "Ladies first."
Ceila wasn't grateful for the incident commander's chivalry but nevertheless climbed down. She breathed in once, almost gagging on the putrid air and turned on her flashlight. She gripped the plasma cooler tightly. Carter was behind her. He, too, sputtered at the fetid quality of the air but followed Ceila through the tunnel.
Ceila stopped and doubled over a little.
"You okay?" Carter asked.
Ceila nodded weakly.
"Yeah, it's just that this air is really nasty."
She gulped.
"I'll be okay."
Ceila walked on. The tunnel got darker, and tighter. Her breathing was laboured.
"You can always go back," Carter suggested.
Ceila shook her head.
"You need me."
They walked on carefully. Ceila turned the flashlight on a scorch mark on the cement.
"Here's where the main blew."
Ceila looked up ahead.
"There he is!"
She moved quickly to the felled maintenance worker. The man was unconscious and bleeding from where he was impaled at the right shoulder.
Carter squatted to the man.
"We have to cut him loose."
Ceila shook her head.
"He's lost too much blood to wait for a blow torch, even if we could get one down here. You can still smell the gas. We light one up, we'll go sky-high."
"Damn!" Carter cussed.
He moved closer to the man's right side and directed Ceila to go to his left.
"On the count of three," Carter instructed, "and very carefully."
Ceila nodded.
"One, two...." Carter counted.
Ceila and Carter lifted the man carefully off of the cable. The man was sufficiently awakened by the pain. Ceila and Carter laid him very still on the ground. Ceila pressed gauze onto the wound and bound it in place and propped his feet up.
"Sir, can you hear me?" Carter asked.
The man panted.
Carter checked his pulse.
"It's thready. Get his blood pressure."
Ceila rolled up the man's sleeve and placed the blood pressure cuff on him.
"20 over 40."
Carter nodded.
"Okay. We need a backboard. I'm going to stay with him while you get it, okay?"
Ceila nodded.
A crash of earth and rock hit the ground under the manhole's entrance.
Carter gaped.
"What the hell was that?!"
Ceila ran to the entrance with only her flashlight to guide her. There was no light from above. The entrance had been closed off.
There was no way to get out.
Ceila's legs had become jelly. She struggled to get breath out of her lungs. Her head swam in sickness. She tried to contain it but she could not. Everything was spinning. Fear was taking over.
"Kowalski!"
The voice lacked clarity.
"Ceila!"
Carter appeared before her. He looked at the closed-off entrance.
"We have to get out! Do you understand? Ceila?"
Ceila gasped frantically.
"There's no way to get out! There's no way out!" she screamed.
Carter shook her violently.
"Get a hold of yourself!"
Ceila's eyes darted to and fro, seeing Carter's angry face, the darkness, the blood loss of the maintenance worker and a face not familiar her.
She gasped and tried to break free from Carter but he would not let her go.
"I want to get out!" she screamed. "I don't like the dark!"
Carter shook her again.
"Dammit! Pull yourself together!"
Ceila stopped panicking but she still trembled.
"We're going to get out," Carter said. "The maintenance worker is worse off than we are so we have to focus on him. Now, the rescue team knows that we're here so they're going to work as fast as they can to get us out. In the mean time, we're not going to panic or talk if we don't need to. We don't have enough oxygen. We're going to head back to our patient and help him survive this, okay?"
Ceila nodded quickly.
Carter let go of her shoulders and led her by the hand back to the maintenance worker.

Much of the ER still had no idea what happened at the rescue site.
Luka bolted as fast he could down the corridor.
"Jerry, get a helicopter ready now!"
Jerry got on the phone and tried to reach the helicopter pilot.
Susan was bewildered.
"Why? What's going on?" she asked.
Luka flung off his white coat.
"I got word on the radio that Ceila and Carter have been buried at the rescue site."
Susan was shocked.
"Do we know what their status is?"
Luka grabbed a medical bag.
"That's what I am going to find out."
Susan's expression was grim.
"I'll get Chuck to go with you."
Luka nodded.
"Thanks."
Kerry got off the phone with the incident commander at the rescue site and trudged off to Luka.
"Luka, wait! Carter and Ceila are trapped underground with their patient. That I know. I also know that the rescue team is digging them out as we speak, but it will take time."
Luka was gruff.
"I'm not waiting!"
Kerry grabbed his arm.
"There is nothing you can do right now! We don't know what their status is. They could be uninjured, for all we know."
"And they might be hurt!" Luka returned.
Kerry stood her ground.
"The rescue team is working as fast as they can to get them out. There is nothing you can do but wait. The best thing for you to do is be here in case you are needed."
Kerry backed away from him.
Luka's nostrils flared. A rage built inside of him. He could not get to Ceila in any way.
Susan jarred him from his singular frustration.
"I guess she's right. Don't worry, Luka. I know some of the guys on the rescue team. They're good guys. And you know Kowalski- she's bulletproof!"
Luka now looked at her.
"Ceila wasn't hit with bullets."
Luka cussed and stormed away.

Carter turned on the flashlight and shone it on his watch. 11:15. He turned it off.
"Can you leave it on, please?" Ceila asked in a shaky voice.
Carter glared at her.
"There isn't enough battery power to chase away the boogie-man," he spat.
Ceila crouched into a ball and hugged her legs.
"Our patient still has low pressure," Carter informed her. "Do you care about that?"
Ceila turned her head to him.
"What do you want me to do about it?"
Carter checked the wound on the man's shoulder.
"I expect you to at least keep a lid on things."
Carter pressed on the man's wound.
"Want to tell me why you were freaking out instead of keeping your characteristic cool?"
Ceila swivelled her head.
"I just don't like being here, okay?! And I don't feel like discussing it with you, so leave me alone!"
She buried her head in between her knees.
"You're a fucking asshole! Just leave me alone!"
Carter nudged her on the shoulder.
"It is my problem if you can keep it together when a patient's life is on the line!"
"When have I never done that?" Ceila snapped back.
Carter could have shaken her.
"Not fifteen minutes ago, you were....!"
Ceila shushed him.
Carter tried to speak.
"Shut up!" Ceila demanded.
Above them, the earth was shaking. Streaks of light came through cracks of loose earth and cement. Both of them covered their faces.
"Hey!" a voice from above cried.
"Down here!" Ceila screamed.
The cracks became bigger. Cement and dirt was falling in huge clumps. Hands pushed away chunks of earth. Daylight finally shone through. Ceila and Carter covered their eyes.
"Hey!" the voice cried again. "Is everyone okay?"
Carter rose from his crouched position.
"We're fine but we need a gurney. We have to evacuate this guy fast!"
The incident commander peered through the hole the rescue team had made.
"I think we can manage that!"

By now, everyone had been apprised of what happened. They worked distractedly and were eager to hear any developments.
Luka waited for news from a distance. He watched Kerry's every facial expression for any evidence.
Kerry breathed a sigh of relief as she got off the telephone.
"Carter and Kowalski have pulled through and are on their way with the patient!"
Sighs and cheers of relief were heard throughout the ER.
Susan let a huge sigh of relief.
"Good things come to those who wait!" she said to Luka.
He had become lax. He threw his head back and breathed easier.
"I will feel much better if I can see Ceila with my own eyes."
Susan nodded.
"You know, Carter was there, too."
"I know," Luka said matter-of-factly.
He shook away the tension.
"I'd better prepare a trauma room."
Susan nodded.
"I'll help."

Lizzie held her hand over her eyes to block out the sun. When the helicopter touched down, she ran to it with a gurney to aid Carter and the patient.
"What's his condition?" Lizzie shouted above the din of the helicopter.
"Puncture in the right axillary artery," Carter answered.
Ceila hopped off behind him and kept the patient's oxygen mask in place.
"Blood pressure 20/40. Second-degree flash burns on both hands and first-degree flash burns on the neck and face," she added.
Carter moved in front of Ceila and helped Lizzie move the patient.
"Ceila, get the plasma cooler!" Carter ordered.
Lizzie and Carter ran the patient into the elevator.
Ceila glared at Carter and cussed under her breath.

Lizzie waited for the elevator to arrive at the SICU.
"I could have used Kowalski, actually," she commented.
Carter shook his head.
"Nope."
Lizzie was curious.
"Oh?"
Carter adjusted the patient's oxygen mask.
"I had a hard time keeping her calm in the tunnel."
Lizzie gaped.
"What? Kowalski? The trapeze artist? I find that hard to believe."
"Believe it!" Carter returned.
They arrived at the SICU.
"I guess some people don't like small spaces," Lizzie supposed.
Carter wheeled the patient to a prep room.
"Well, that was everybody's problem but hers."

Ceila hurried out of the elevator with the plasma cooler. She caught up with Carter in the SICU.
"Hey!"
Carter ignored her and kept walking.
"Hey! I'm talking to you!" Ceila yelled.
She ran in front of Carter so that he was forced to stop.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I might ask you the same thing," Ceila snapped. "What the hell was that?"
Carter crossed his arms.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Don't play games, Carter," Ceila demanded. "I mean, treating me like a dirty sock. That's what I mean."
"I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing!" Carter smirked.
"Don't give me that crap, Carter!" Ceila returned. "You've never had any faith in my abilities and you've made every move about me personal!"
Carter looked down on her.
"I never turned coward six feet under."
Ceila bit on her lip.
"I did not endanger that patient! I helped stabilize him, and what you did to me was the opposite of constructive!"
"I saved your ass," Carter returned, "that should be a familiar feeling for you."
Carter moved around Ceila and returned to the ER.

Luka nearly crashed into Carter as he stepped out of the elevator into the ER..
"Where's Ceila?" he panted.
Carter did not look at him but shrugged.
"I dunno. Crying her eyes out."
Luka's brow furrowed.
"What?!"
"She's up in the SICU!" Carter impatiently snapped and walked from him.
Luka decided to ignore Carter's impudence and went to the SICU.
Abby was down the hall when she saw Carter emerge from the elevator. She ran to him.
"John!"
Carter looked up.
"Abby."
Before Abby could get to him, Kerry ran along side.
"Nice work, Carter."
Carter swivelled his head to Kerry and Abby.
"Kerry, I have to talk to you."
Kerry nodded.
"In a minute, okay, Abby?" Carter excused himself and went with Kerry.
Abby nodded and waited. She was used to it.

Luka could see Ceila, her shoulders slouched, her head down, loose black curls drooping.
"Ljublena!" Luka cried.
Ceila looked up to Luka. She offered him a weak smile.
Luka ran to her, picked her up and swung her off her feet.
"Luka! Put me down!" she pleaded.
Luka did put her down and kissed her hard. He held her.
"Carter said you were crying! Are you alright?"
Ceila brushed some hair from his brow.
"I'm fine!"
Luka disbelieved her.
"You were trapped. I thought you were hurt."
Ceila kept her head down.
"I don't want to talk about it."
Luka stroked her face.
"Why? What's wrong? What happened? You can tell me."
Ceila removed Luka's hands from her face and started to shuffle away.
"I just want to finish my shift, Luka."
Luka felt anxious as he did before, the energy of which was still making him shake.

Kerry could not believe what Carter was telling her.
"What?!"
"She panicked," Carter repeated.
Kerry shook her head.
"No, I can't believe that."
"Kerry, I would not make this up!" Carter insisted. "We could have lost the patient. You know as well as I do a loose cannon has no place in an ER."
"Ceila is not a loose cannon!!" Kerry returned. "Her performance has been exemplary! Even you have been satisfied with her work performance!"
Carter sighed.
"Some of what I've seen has been... satisfactory," he admitted. "But there are other factors."
Kerry crossed her arms.
"Such as?"
"Her attitude sucks, Kerry," Carter huffed, "I don't think I need to tell you that."
Kerry could not disagree.
"But you think her attitude is just the tip of the iceberg?"
"Something like that, yeah," Carter affirmed.
He cleared his throat.
"There was a matter of a report a few months back."
"Her midterm reports?" Kerry asked.
"Yeah," Carter nodded. "Kovac gave her a report."
Kerry raised an incredulous brow.
"Do you think there is something improper going on between her and Dr. Kovac? I certainly hope, for your sake, that you're not suggesting that because that is a very serious accusation."
Carter remained still.
"Maybe I am. You've seen how she acts around him."
Kerry smirked.
"Well, yes, she's friendly with him, but nothing in the way of an overly flirtatious manner, at least not that I've seen. And I wrote a report for her, as did Susan and the nurse managers. What are you saying about us? That- that maybe we were won over by her cute, little smile? That's just ridiculous!"
Carter put up his hands in defence.
"All I'm saying is that maybe he overlooked something in her that was noticed by others...."
"Only you," Kerry retorted.
"And others!" Carter pointed out.
"Gossip is not proof, Carter!" Kerry snapped.
Carter hung his head and put his hands on his hips.
"Look, if I'm wrong, then I'm wrong. But if I'm right, then it would be a mistake to pass Kowalski."
Kerry relented.
"All right. I'll look into this. But if I find nothing untoward, then that's it. The matter is dropped."
Carter nodded and turned to leave.
"And Carter?"
He swivelled his head to her.
"Yeah?"
"Not a word," Kerry warned. "We don't need any more gossip."
Carter backed away and waited for the other shoe to drop

Dusk gradually approached. The incident earlier on in the day was virtually not talked about. Everyone just wanted to go home.
Kerry made her way carefully through the hallway. She peeked into an observation room and looked in on Ceila. The girl was changing the IV of a man who had come in after an accident. Her hands were light and gentle as she replaced the IV. Kerry laughed to herself as she remembered a regular who had asked for her. 'The girl with the butterfly hands!' she said.
And in a day she would be gone.
"Ceila!" she called out to her.
Ceila turned her head and put her finger to her lips.
"Ssshhh! He's sleeping!"
Kerry nodded in a conciliatory way and walked over lightly to where the girl was standing.
Ceila puffed up the man's pillow.
"He came in three hours ago and asked for his wife," Ceila explained. "We still can't find her."
Her expression became very soft.
"It's not a good thing to have no one know what happened to you."
"I need to talk to you," Kerry said quietly.
Ceila and Kerry walked to another part of the room behind a curtain.
Ceila drew the curtain.
"I'm leaving in a couple of days," Ceila informed Kerry. "I'm headed back to Canada."
Kerry nodded.
"I realize that."
Ceila smiled.
"I have something for you," she said, "but I left it at home."
"Well, that's nice of you," Kerry thanked, "but this is a different matter."
Ceila's mood was now more serious.
"About today?"
Kerry nodded.
"Carter told me that you had trouble in the tunnel."
Ceila, ashamed, did not look at Kerry.
"It'll never happen again," she promised.
"Good," Kerry nodded, "because in emergencies, it's important that nothing sway you from the task at hand."
Ceila looked at Kerry with steely eyes.
"I've never let feelings get in the way of a patient's care."
"I can believe that but other things come to mind," Kerry returned.
Ceila furrowed her brow.
"Such as?"
Kerry swallowed.
"It's been suggested that you've had unwise associations... with Dr. Kovac."
Ceila pursed her lips.
"Says who? Carter?"
Kerry did not look directly at Ceila.
"I won't go into that...."
"It was him, wasn't it?" Ceila insisted. "He is always....!"
Kerry stopped her in mid-tirade.
"It wouldn't be the first time such things have happened, Ceila. You do remember Dr. Lofton?"
"Nothing happened!" Ceila insisted.
"And I believe you," Kerry said, "but if you have been involved with Dr. Kovac in a nonprofessional way, then there will be repercussions."
Ceila crossed her arms.
"What will you do to Dr. Kovac?"
Kerry steeled herself.
"If there is reason to believe that you and Dr. Kovac have had a relationship and that he acted for your professional benefit, he could be suspended indefinitely, face disciplinary hearings," Kerry answered.
Ceila's gaze became colder.
"This is mud-slinging, Dr. Weaver, and you know it."
Kerry was equally cold.
"Not if these accusations are true."
Ceila inched closer to her.
"You tell me when I have been incompetent, neglectful or even thoughtless in my duties and I'll tell you precisely the nature of my relationship is with Dr. Kovac."
Ceila gasped once melodramatically.
"Unless this is all about 'extra-curricular activities'?"
Kerry squared her jaw.
"You're not helping Dr. Kovac."
"I will help Dr. Kovac," Ceila promised. "We're not doing anything wrong."
Ceila walked away from Kerry.
"Excuse me but I have things to do, Dr. Weaver."

Carter was alone in the lounge. He leaned back on the couch. He was glad to have at least one moment when he could be by himself. The shift was half over and he felt exhausted.
"John?"
Carter opened his eyes and sat up.
"Abby?"
Abby sat next to him.
"I've been trying to get you but we always miss each other," she said.
Carter smacked his head.
"Oh! Sorry! It's just been crazy all day!"
"I just wanted to see how you were," Abby admitted.
"I'm good," Carter said.
Abby was taken aback.
"Just good? Not claustrophobic? Nothing?"
Carter's face was alight at Abby's question.
"You heard about Ceila?"
This surprised Abby.
"What?"
Carter put his back and closed his eyes.
"Let's just say she's better above ground than under."
Abby was still puzzled.
"What's that supposed to mean? I guess most people are... I mean.... What? Was she, like, panicking?"
Carter nodded.
"Yeah, you could say that."
Abby chuckled.
"No grace under pressure she!"
"You can say that again!" Carter smirked.
A silence fell between them.
Carter swallowed an obstruction.
"Abby, did you.....?"
Abby waited for Carter to finish.
"Did you want dinner some time?" he asked. "Maybe at that Thai place you like?"
Abby thought for a second. She waited for something else.
"I don't think so," she muttered.
"Somewhere else then?" Carter suggested.
Abby nodded.
"I'll think about it."
Abby looked at her watch and rose.
"Gotta go," she tried to smile. "Five hours left."
Carter nodded.
"Later then?"
Abby had doubt in her.
"Maybe."

Luka and Ceila were alone on the east wing stairs.
Ceila paced on the landing while Luka sat on a step.
"Why are you worried?" Luka asked. "You said so yourself: what are they to us?"
Ceila could have slapped him.
"Because Kerry can ruin you!"
Luka stood up and held Ceila's arms.
"I don't care about myself," Luka breathed. "I care only what she can do to you."
"Luka, don't be!" Ceila pleaded.
"You should worry," Luka warned. "I know what it's like to have things taken from you."
"If you're not gone from me, then I don't care," Ceila said softly.
Luka sighed and held her.
"How can you be so fearless, djevojka?"
She nuzzled against his chest.
"She has no right to hurt you, Luka. None. I don't care about myself. It's that easy."
Luka stroked her hair.
"Ceila, I don't want you to worry about me. I can take care of myself."
He held her from him.
"I want you to finish your shift and I will see you when I get home."
Ceila nodded uneasily and left the landing.
Luka wiped his mouth. He couldn't decide what was more worrisome- Kerry's meddling or Ceila's fearlessness.

The shift was over.
Luka put his white coat away in his locker and grabbed his messenger bag.
"Luka!"
Luka spun around.
Kerry blocked the exit to the lounge.
"I've been meaning to speak to you all day but we seem to miss each other."
Luka decided to feign ignorance.
"If this is about next week's night shift, I already know about it."
Kerry shook her head and walked up to him.
"No, it's about something else."
"What?" he asked.
Kerry readied herself for the difficult task at hand.
"What is the nature of your relationship with Student Nurse Kowalski?"
Luka tried to look concerned.
"What do you mean, Kerry?"
Kerry was doubtful of his expression.
"Let's not be naive, Luka. Is there anything going on between you and Student Nurse Kowalski of a personal nature?"
Luka adjusted the strap of the messenger bag.
"If this is gossip, Kerry, I won't answer. I don't like made-up stories."
Kerry stepped right in front of Luka.
"Luka, this is serious."
"As am I," Luka insisted. "Don't believe everything you hear."
Luka moved around her and left the lounge.
"Good night!"

The long shift was finally over.
Abby sat alone on her bed in her apartment. Carter had decided to stay at his own place. Good, Abby thought. It allowed her time alone to think.
Time to think about Luka and what he said to her.
She replayed the moment in her mind over and over again.
He was solid to himself when he told her that he did not love her. For once and for all, she meant nothing to him. He wasn't cold, cruel or vicious. Just so sure, almost sanguine. There was no hesitance in him. He just said it. It was something, Abby thought, he must have known in his bones. And when he knew that, that was it.
Abby now doubled over. A raw sob eked out of her throat. She beat her head with her fists over and over. She wanted to feel pain all over her body. The pain had to be total. There was no other way.
Abby was jarred from her self-masochism by the ringing of the phone. She wiped away her tears and answered it.
"Hello?" she answered in a weak voice.
She cleared her throat.
"Oh, hi, Mom. No, I'm fine. Just so tired."
Abby fell back on her bed.
"No, no...."
She shut her eyes.
"I'm...just...thinking...."

When Ceila finally got home, she jumped into the shower and went to bed but she could not sleep. She simply lay on her back and stared at the ceiling lifelessly.
Luka lay next to her, too afraid to touch her. He watched for the slightest hint of emotion but could see none.
"What's wrong, malina?"
At last, a sigh heaved from Ceila's chest. Her voice was weak.
"Luka?"
Luka touched her hair.
"Yes?"
She gulped.
"Do you ever feel... powerless?"
"Sometimes," he admitted. "Why do you ask, malina?"
"I just do," she answered in a shaky voice.
"Is it because of today? Tell me," he implored.
Ceila wrung her hands.
"I... I.... couldn't stop... I couldn't think straight. I felt so weak."
Luka shook his head.
"You aren't weak, Ceila. You are the strongest woman I know."
She tried not to cry.
"Then why am I shaking? Look at me!"
Luka grasped her hands.
"Don't feel this way, Ceila. Just sleep."
Luka brushed his hand over Ceila's eyes to shut them.
"Sleep," he breathed.
Lulled as a child would be, Ceila let her eyes be closed and waited to sleep to finally take over.

Morning.
Abby, barely awake, sat on the corner of her bed. Her hands lay immobile on her lap. Her hair hung like rope.
After what seemed like the longest time, she rose from the bed. She felt weak. She gripped the edge of the dresser. She caught the image of herself- the knotted hair and the heavy bed-clothes- and was inflicted with a sense of dread and self-loathing.
She sniffed and gulped the bile that rested in her throat and moved without feeling.

Ceila sprung up from her sleep, gasping and panting for air.
Luka shot up next to her, bewildered.
"What's wrong?"
Ceila put her head between her knees and hyperventilated.
"My dream....I had a dream.... we were there.... they were doing an autopsy on us and we weren't dead but we couldn't call out or move...we.... and they...they put me under glass, in state, and everyone passed by... and I could see them... they kept my eyes open! I wanted to scream but I couldn't! I...."
Luka cradled her in arms.
"It was a dream! You're safe!"
Luka stroked her hair.
"Ceila, what's wrong? You have to tell me."
Ceila buried her head in his lap.
"I couldn't get out, Luka! I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe."
He still stroked her hair.
"Ceila, you're safe now. Nothing will happen to you."
Ceila screwed her eyes shut. She started to wretch. She rose from the bed and staggered to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Leaning into the sink, she vomited.
Luka rushed after her.
"Ceila!" he cried as he banged on the door. "Ceila, open the door!"
Ceila rinsed out her mouth and raised her head. She opened the door to a crack.
"I'm fine, Luka."
"You're not okay!" he shot back. "You have to lie down..."
She smiled to allay his fears.
"No, really, Luka, I'm gonna be fine. I could use some decaf tea, though!"
Frustrated, Luka nodded at last and went to prepare some tea.

Luka didn't care about appearances as he accompanied Ceila on the el train.
"You can always take the day off," he quickly suggested.
Ceila glowered at him.
"It's my last day, Luka. I'm not ducking out of work."
"You aren't feeling well," he maintained.
Ceila huffed.
"I'm fine! I just...."
Luka didn't want to argue with the wilful girl.
"If anything happens," he warned, "anything- you're going home! I'm sure the ER can do without you for a day!"
Ceila rolled her eyes.
"So I can go home and pack?"
"I can do that for you!" Luka offered. "Why won't you let me help?"
"It's too much work, Luka!" Ceila explained. "And it's bloody tedious and the organization and stuff! I'll have to get my mum to help store my stuff. No worries."
"You shouldn't worry," he said.

Kerry handed Frank the note.
"Make sure it's a German chocolate cake," she said. "She likes that."
"It's too sweet!" he complained.
"It's not for you!" Kerry shot back.
Susan rummaged through the rack for an interesting case.
"Hey, Jing-mei! There's a guy who sweats too much!"
Chen took the chart.
"Thanks a lot!" she smirked.
Susan picked up an interesting chart.
"Kerry, you're not planning to throw Junior a good-bye party, are you?"
Kerry stamped away.
"Yep!"
"We have to," Lily said. "She threatened to beat us with her cane."
Susan rolled her eyes.
"Oh great! Well, at least I don't have hear any more about she ate forty pounds of pressed meat and never gained a pound! That brat!"
Pratt ran to the ambulance bay, looked around and ran back in.
"Trauma?" Susan asked.
Chen shook her head.
"No. He bought Kowalski a Clue game- The Simpsons edition. He can't wait to make her guess what it is."
Susan did a double-take. It was all so baffling.

Luka helped Ceila off the el train.
"Luka!" she whined. "I'm fine!"
"You don't look fine!" he noted. "You could always leave!"
"For the last time, I can't!" Ceila refused. "I have a feeling about something."

Pratt ran back-and-forth, waiting impatiently for Ceila to come in.
"Watch," he cautioned everyone as Ceila approached.
Pratt practically ran over Ceila.
"Kowalski- in the kitchen with the candlestick?!"
Ceila thought for a second.
"I dunno. The Simpsons edition of Clue, maybe?"
No one could believe it.
As Pratt whooped and cheered at Ceila's uncanny perception, Chen shook her head.
"You told her!" she accused.
"No, I didn't!" Pratt denied. "She's got the Brain!"
Pratt continued to whoop and cheer.
Luka had followed Ceila in and saw the whole scene.
"There is no way anyone can do that!" he doubted.
Chen could only concur.
"I'm going to shave off his eyebrows when he's asleep!" Chen promised.

Ceila put her things away in her locker and took a deep breath.
"Just seven more hours!" she promised herself.
Ceila walked out of the lounge.
"Kowalski!" Chen called. "I need you to draw labs on this patient."
Ceila nodded and followed Chen behind Curtain Three.
"Mr. Crowl is complaining of excessive perspiration," Chen explained.
"Do I have SARS?" he asked.
"Uh, no," Chen emphatically denied.
She wrote down some instructions on the chart for Ceila.
"Urine and blood analysis and chem 7. Okay?"
Ceila took the chart and nodded.
"I won't be long, will I?" Crowl asked.
"We'll try to keep your stay short," Chen promised.
Suddenly, Ceila wretched and then vomited all over Crowl.
All three people, for a moment, failed to move. Crowl felt utterly disgusted. Ceila became paler still and, embarrassed, mumbled an apology and fled the patient's bedside. Chen was trying to maintain control of the situation which, by now, was an exercise in futility.
Susan drew open the curtain.
"That's not like Junior to yak on patients!"
Chen ignored her. She had much more pressing things to worry about.
"Lily, could you help Mr. Crowl?"
"She threw up on me!" he cried.
Chen was impatient.
"Yeah," she mumbled and chased after Ceila.

Ceila hid in the washroom. She rinsed out her mouth and washed her face. She tried to keep her trembling under control.
Ceila hung her head. It was like everything was going downhill. Her panic attack in the tunnel, her arguments with Carter and Kerry and now this. It was one embarrassment and fluke after another. Maybe Luka was right- she should leave before the day got worse.
Ceila wiped her mouth. She would not leave, backing out like a coward, she thought. The worse shame would be to let anything get her down. Ceila steeled herself and reflected quickly on her time at the hospital. She took everything they had given her, she thought. There was no backing down now.
"Kowalski!"
Ceila swivelled around.
Chen approached her.
"Are you alright?"
Ceila dried her hands and face on a piece of paper towel.
"I'm good!" she exclaimed.
Chen shook her head.
"No, you're not! You threw up all over a patient!"
Ceila avoided her eyes.
"I said I was sorry," she muttered under her breath.
Chen put her hands on her hips.
"Do you have the flu?"
"No!" Ceila denied. "It was just something I ate. I'm fine now."
Ceila started to walk out of the washroom.
"I'll start those labs."
"No, you won't," Chen refused. "I had Lily do it. You can do something else."
Ceila locked her jaw.
"I'm fine!"
"And I'll believe you," Chen promised, "when I see you don't throw up on anyone else!"
Chen exited the washroom.
"Shit!" Ceila cussed and threw the paper towel against the wall.

Ceila exited the washroom and kept her head low. She ambled to the admittance desk. There might be paperwork she could do unnoticed.
Susan spun around to the embarrassed girl.
"Hey, Elizabeth Hurley!"
Susan laughed.
"Oh, that's gold!" Susan declared.
"Goddammit!" Ceila cussed under her breath.
Susan slapped Ceila on the back.
"Oh! Hey! Not gonna yak, are you?"
Ceila tried to hide her growing irritation.
"No."
"Oh good," Susan nodded, "because this is a no-hurl zone. Anyway, you can busy yourself in the radiology lab where any possible vomiting won't be impede any progress here."
Ceila ground her teeth as she glared at Susan.
"Don't be such a child about this, Junior!" Susan admonished her. "Now get to it or no juice for you!"
Ceila stormed away from Susan.
Only six and half hours more.

Ceila barged into the radiology lab and plonked down on a chair.
A woman with honey-brown hair removed her reading glasses and frowned on the girl.
"You ER lot are all the same! Barging in when ya feel like it!"
"I've been exiled here, Tracey," she explained.
The woman tucked her reading glasses away.
"That's no reason why you should forget your manners."
"Sorry," Ceila mumbled quietly.
Another woman with strawberry-blond hair pushed over to Ceila in her swivel chair.
"Trust me! I know what it's like to be screwed over by them!"
She examined Ceila's face.
"How are you? Okay? I heard what happened."
Ceila covered her face with her hands.
"Oh please don't bring it up!"
Tracey was intrigued. She turned to her lab partner.
"What, Penny?"
Penny looked quickly at Tracey.
"Ceila was sick."
Tracey looked sorry.
"Oh! Not feeling so good? Well, it's your last day! No worries after this!"
Ceila removed her hands from her face.
"Oh no! Lots of packing to do when I get home."
"We'll help," Penny offered. "I'll get Craig to move the heavy stuff."
Ceila wanted to refuse but Tracey wouldn't hear of it.
"No, my dear! I'll get my kids to do something!" she promised. "They'll be lazing out in front of that goddamn one-eyed babysitter by the time I get home! They can do some work for a change!"
Penny tapped Ceila's knee.
"See! Everything's coming up Milhouse!"
Ceila had to smile. She regarded the two women. Tracey was more salt than light and Penny was ever the level-headed one.
And seven hours from now, they would help her pack.

Luka actually lurked in the hallway, looked over his shoulder and skulked. He wanted to go to Ceila after he heard what had happened. He wondered how he could approach her without raising suspicion. He could see her talking with the lab technicians through the window. She didn't appear pale or wan, as she had been earlier in the morning. Indeed, there didn't seem to be any evidence that she was sick at all. None of this dissuaded Luka. It couldn't.
Shakily, he knocked on the radiology lab door.
Tracey answered it.
"Dr. Kovac! How can I help you?"
He shoved his hands in his pockets.
"I wanted to speak to Student Nurse Kowalski."
She smiled genially and turned to Ceila.
"Ceila, Dr. Kovac needs a word."
Ceila stopped speaking with Penny and exited the radiology lab.
Tracey and Penny peered at the couple through the window.
"What's this then?" Penny asked.
"Dr. Kovac wants a word with his missus," Tracey grinned.

Luka still had his hands in his pockets.
"Gossip travels fast," he related to Ceila. "How are you?"
Ceila shrugged.
"Good. It was just something I ate was all."
Luka disbelieved her.
"Are you worried about something? What's bothering you?"
Ceila didn't want to say.
"Well, not the packing any more. Penny and Tracey offered to help me after work."
Luka was disappointed.
"I wanted to help."
Ceila tried to apologize.
"I tried to tell them..."
Luka shrugged.
"No. If they want to lift heavy things then why should I stop them?"
Ceila laughed and playfully poked him on the shoulder.
"I was hoping we could spend some time alone," she revealed.
"I'll see you in the morning," he consoled. "Before you go."
Ceila's eyes slowly became red with the advent of blushing tears.
Luka crouched to her height.
"Hey! We can have pancakes, bacon, eggs- sunny-side up. Hhmmmm?"
The tears were averted for now.
"Sure," Ceila agreed.
Luka cleared his throat.
"Okay. I'll see you later. For lunch, maybe?"
"Yeah!" Ceila nodded.
"At one," Luka said and turned away.
Ceila waved.
"Later!"

Tracey sighed heavily as she looked on Luka and Ceila.
"I love it when couples get along!"

Susan and Carter had already gowned up.
"ETA?" Susan asked.
"Now," Carter said.
The rig pulled up and the paramedics lifted out a man with a gaping hole in his chest.
"What happened?" Susan asked.
"He slipped in the bathtub," the paramedic explained.
Carter was confused.
"He takes a shower fully-clothed?"
"He was fixing something," the paramedic continued. "Fell onto his screwdriver. His wife called it in. A puncture wound to the lower left side of his chest. Couldn't control the bleeding in the field. Blood pressure is 20/40. Decreased breath sounds."
They wheeled him into a trauma room.
Susan called for a chest x-ray.
Carter looked at the monitor.
"PEA is minimal."
"Thoracotomy?" Susan asked.
"More than likely," Carter answered.
"We'll do a peritoneal lavage first," she ordered.
Susan further assessed the wound in the man's chest.
"We've got to hurry with that x-ray," she grumbled.
"We've got to start the thoracotomy," Carter said.
"Not until we have the chest x-ray! I don't want to attempt a tube just yet," Susan warned. "Right now, cross-type for match and let's see what we can do about this bleeding!"
"If he doesn't die of oxygen deprivation!" Carter added. "Can I have the sonosite?"
A nurse handed Carter the sonosite. He rubbed protective gel over the scanner and moved it around the wound.
"What do you see?" Susan asked.
Carter was unsure.
"A lot of fluid."
He moved up the patient's chest.
"Not seeing any obstructions near the lungs or heart. Just a lot of fluid. That's probably what's decreasing breath sounds."
Carter put the scanner down.
"I think we should intubate," he suggested.
Susan shook her head.
"Not yet. I don't want to fly blind."

Penny rushed out of the radiology lab with the x-ray of Susan's patient.
"Ceila, you like juicy cases, right? With lots of blood and gore?"
Ceila ran after Penny.
"Only for the greater good. Why?"
Penny quickly flashed the x-ray to her.
"What do you see?"
Ceila quickly looked at it.
"Looks like a stab wound," she surmised.
"He fell on a screwdriver," Penny informed her.
"It would have been my second guess," Ceila quipped. "Exsanguination in the lower left quadrant due to penetrating blunt force trauma, narrowly missing the lower portion of lung but hitting him square in the spleen. Lucky, I guess. And..."
Ceila examined the x-ray closer.
"What's this? This little....blotchy thing... This? Ya see?"
Penny looked at it.
"I see it. But what is it?"
Ceila thought for a second.
"What was he dressed in?"
Penny shrugged.
"Don't know."
Penny tucked the x-ray into an envelope.
"Let's hope Dr. Lewis knows what it is."
Penny and Ceila rushed into the trauma room.
Carter turned to Ceila.
"Hey, Kowalski! Glad to see you're not in full-yak mode!"
"Bite me, Carter!" Ceila snapped.
"That's Dr. Carter to you!" Susan reprimanded her.
Penny showed Susan the x-ray.
"Oh good!" Susan heaved. "It missed his lung but skewered his spleen!"
Penny cast a quick confident look on Ceila.
"But there's something else," Penny pointed to a blotch on the x-ray. "See that?"
"Yep!" Susan nodded. "What is it?"
Ceila put on plastic gloves and examined the patient's shirt. Her finger caught on a tiny hole on his shirt.
"I think I know what it is," she said as she indicated to the puncture in the shirt. "See that? That's a fragment of his shirt. Dig that out before you sew him back up."
Carter feigned surprise.
"Good work Kowalski! Gold star for you!"
Penny joined Ceila in a glare.
Ceila put on a new pair of gloves and gazed icily at Carter.
"I suggest you stop this man's bleeding, Dr. Carter."
"You can start prepping the patient," Susan joined in tersely. "Can you intubate?"
Ceila grabbed an endotracheal tube and intubated the patient.
Susan poured antiseptic on the patient's wound and Carter made an incision into the patient's side.
"Student Nurse Kowalski, please hand me the clamp," he asked politely.
Ceila handed Carter a small clamp. Carter inserted the clamp in the incision and opened it.
"Now what?" he asked Ceila.
Ceila hated it when he patronized her. Carter waited for a wrong or bold answer. She continued her icy gaze.
"I would clamp the splenic artery in order to stabilize him for surgery."
Carter huffed a little. He carefully removed a small fragment of cloth from the wound as Susan leaned over.
"Don't need this," he said as he placed it in an emesis bin.
Susan placed a clean cloth over the wound.
"Let's move this guy to surgery."
They wheeled the patient out of the trauma room to the elevator.
Carter stopped Ceila.
"The buck stops here, Kowalski," he warned. "I know how tight spaces give you the willies."
The elevator closed on Ceila.
Susan glared at him.
"That's unbelievably cruel, John."
Carter did not look at Susan but found a space on the elevator door on which to lock his eyes.

Ceila cleaned up after the trauma and waited for Carter. She was furious at his pettiness. He wanted any pound of flesh he could get out of her, she thought.
When Ceila saw Carter emerge from the elevator, she went after him.
"Dr. Carter!" she called out.
Carter walked from her, ignoring her.
"Dr. Carter, I would like to have a word with you in private, please!" Ceila demanded.
Carter slowed down only to refuse her.
"I can't. Busy."
Ceila put herself in Carter's path.
"I really would like to sidebar with you, Dr. Carter."
He looked around.
"Okay. Why not here? It's only going to take a second, anyway."
Ceila opened her mouth to speak but Carter interrupted her.
"I just don't think you're cut out for this- no pun intended- and well, I just thought... you know.... seeing as you don't like tight spaces and everything, you wouldn't want to accompany the patient on the elevator. And that's all, really."
That was it.
Ceila formed a fist and punched Carter on the chin.
Carter fell back and landed on his ass after failing to hold onto an empty gurney.
Ceila stamped away.
No one tried to stop her.

Kerry raced into the lounge where Carter was nursing a sore chin. He had an ice-pack awkwardly pressed against a newly formed bruise. Abby was there as well.
Kerry tried to examine Carter's contusion.
"Carter, are you alright?" she asked.
Carter removed the ice-pack to talk.
"Yeah, it's nothing."
"Kowalski hit him," Abby reported duly. "Without provocation."
Kerry looked right at Carter.
"Is this true?"
Carter muttered confusedly.
Kerry huffed.
"I'll talk to her."
Kerry charged out of the lounge.
"She's lucky it's her last day!"

Ceila made herself busy in an examination room. She changed the IV on a sleeping elderly woman. She discarded the disused items and tucked the old woman in.
When Ceila walked out of the examination room, she found herself confronted by Kerry, who was waiting for her.
Ceila could see from the woman's grave countenance that she was in no mood for levity or insubordination.
"Can I ask you something, Student Nurse Kowalski?" Kerry began.
"Yes," Ceila answered softly.
"What the hell are you thinking?" Kerry spat out. "At any time?"
Ceila thought for a second.
"I really don't know what you mean, Dr. Weaver."
The woman pursed her lips.
"I'm sure you don't!"
Kerry placed her hand on her hip.
"I'm talking about Dr. Carter."
Ceila now knew. She did not want to reveal her thoughts to Kerry, even now as an opportunity to do so presented itself.
"No smart answers?" Kerry quizzed. "No smart-ass comments or complaints? Nothing?!"
Kerry stood toe-to-toe with Ceila.
"I'm in my right mind to send you home now and add what you did to your final report!"
Ceila's eyes were perfectly clear.
"You're in your rights to do so," she said calmly. "I did assault a resident."
Kerry was confounded by the girl. It was as though she courted disaster, Kerry thought. The girl walked right into a punishment.
"I'm not going to put this on your final report, Ceila," Kerry said at last, "but only if you apologize to Carter, after which, you'll leave."
Kerry cleared her throat.
"I hate to think you're leaving under such circumstances."
Ceila coolly looked at Kerry right in the eye.
"Put the incident in my report."
Kerry was dumbfounded.
"Are you refusing an order?"
Ceila was cavalier in her response.
"If this is an order, then yes."
Kerry squared her jaw.
"This isn't a polite suggestion, Ceila! You assaulted a resident in front of others and now you're refusing to take steps which might very well salvage your future reputation!"
"My reputation has already been spoken for," Ceila put in. "I'm not apologizing to Carter for anything, so you can do as you like to me."
Kerry held a clenched fist at her side.
"You can go home."
Ceila nodded curtly and walked away.
Kerry bowed her head and hoped that Ceila wouldn't see the rising
scarlet in her face.
Malik looked at Yosh and Yosh looked at Malik.
"I think it's cake time," Malik said.
"You would be right," Yosh agreed.
The two descended on the German chocolate cake like hungry packrats.
As it became apparent that cake was present, the staff merged from recesses unknown and started helping themselves to it.
The reason for the cake was missing but no one noticed. The cake was there, after all, to be eaten.
Kerry, still stung by Ceila, wallowed behind the admittance desk with a file and sat down at a carrel.
Susan helped herself to the cake.
"Where's Junior?" she asked as she licked her lips. "This cake is for her, after all."
"I sent her home," Kerry revealed. "I thought she would have cooled off after her altercation with Carter but I guess not."
Susan put the plate down, looking guilty.
"I didn't want to say anything."
Kerry now cut a slice of cake for herself.
"Yes?"
Susan sheepishly lifted her head.
"Carter had been riding Kowalski all day. I mean- he was really nasty to her."
Kerry now looked at her.
"So he hurts her feelings and she pops him?"
"No," Susan negated, "he humiliates her time and time again and she pops him. He even slagged her for being claustrophobic."
Susan wiped her hands on a napkin.
"This isn't a new thing, Kerry," she admitted. "I guess Kowalski just had enough."
Kerry put down her plate and wiped her mouth.
"That's still no reason for her to act the way she did."
Susan put her hands in her pockets.
"Maybe, but I don't think that gets Carter off the hook, either."
"So what should I do?" Kerry asked.
Susan shrugged.
"I don't know. I'm not the chief."
Kerry exhaled. That didn't make her load any lighter.

Gallant looked at his playing cards.
"I accuse Bart with the gun in the kitchen."
Chuny looked at the Clue playing board.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "'Cause once you accuse, that's it. All bets are off."
"Yeah," Gallant affirmed. "I know I'm right."
Pratt grimaced at them.
"Hey! That's Kowalski's game!"
Gallant looked at him.
"She said we could play it!"
Pratt grimaced. The Simpsons version of Clue was the classier version of the original, he thought. It wasn't meant to be played as a time-filler.
"Where's Kowalski, anyway?"
Chuny shrugged as she opened the case confidential file.
"Dunno."
Chuny laughed.
"You were right!"
Gallant looked at the winning results.
"I knew it!" he grinned. "Bart killed Mr. Burns with the gun."
Abby happened by and replaced a chart.
"I thought Maggie shot Mr. Burns."
Pratt now asked Abby.
"Where's Kowalski?"
Abby shook her head and walked away.
"Don't know. Don't care."
Abby's abrupt response had them taken aback.
Chuny pushed away her game pieces.
"Winner gets to pack up!"
Gallant started to put the game away.
"I hope she didn't leave yet," he wished. "I wanted to say good-bye."

Lily tapped Kerry on the shoulder.
"There's a package for you on the table in the lounge," she said.
Kerry thanked her and made her way to the lounge. A small white package lay on the table with a note marked in WEAVER in red letters. Kerry read the note.

This is to thank you for everything you've done. You've taught me well.
Thanks a ton, Mama Bear.
Ceila

Kerry smiled a little at Ceila's perfunctory thanks. It was so like the girl to observe formalities. Yet there was feeling in what she did. It wasn't just an obligatory act.
Kerry unwrapped the package. It was a small walrus carved from soapstone. Kerry placed it on the table and regarded it. She wondered if Ceila thought she was a huge, tusked beast on the inside.
Romano wandered into lounge.
"Hey!" he cried. "It looks just like you!"
Kerry lolled her head tiredly. She now wondered if it was Romano's purpose to perpetually be on her back.
"Student Nurse Kowalski got it for me," Kerry said.
Romano nodded.
"Yeah, she got one for me, too. A polar bear."
He picked up the walrus and examined it.
"Do you think she got these from an Eskimo wholesaler?"
Kerry snatched the walrus from him.
"It's a gift, Robert!"
Romano stepped back.
"Hey! Don't snap at me! I'm just here for the cake."
That surprised Kerry.
"What?" Romano asked. "I like cake."
He looked around.
"Where is Kowalski, anyway?"
Kerry replaced her gift in the package.
"I sent her home."
Romano was now surprised.
"Why?"
"She and Dr. Carter had an altercation and she refused to apologize," she explained.
Romano huffed.
"So what?! Maybe he had it coming. Ever think about that?"
Romano slumped into a chair.
"The way you keep discipline around here, I'm surprised there aren't any cock fights or something!"
Kerry thought of a colourful retort but decided to keep it in check. Rather, she would pursue another train of thought.
"Robert, have you ever noticed anything about Student Nurse Kowalski?"
That was vague, Romano decided.
"Like what? That she's pretty? She works out?"
Kerry rolled her eyes.
"I mean- does she form friendships with people here? Close ones?"
Romano thought for a second.
"I think one of the lab techs likes her. What's his name?"
"Any friendships with doctors?" Kerry asked.
"I wouldn't know," Romano denied. "I don't work down here."
Romano got up.
"Now, I'm going to hunt for some cake," he announced. "Hopefully the blobs down here haven't eaten it all."
Romano turned to leave.
"If Kowalski does turn up, let her know I'm looking for her, will you?"
Kerry furrowed her brow.
"Why?"
"No reason," Romano said.
Romano left the lounge.
Kerry took the walrus out from the package again and regarded it.
"I'd like to say something to you, too," Kerry muttered to herself.

Ceila emerged from her suspicious absence. There were things she had to do before she left (and before Luka found out what had happened). She moved willowy through the hallway, hoping not to be seen.
"Well, well, well....."
Ceila stopped. She turned to Haleh who had her keen in her sights.
"I thought you had gone," Haleh admitted. "Still creeping around, huh?"
Ceila thought of a quick answer.
"Just getting some things together before I go."
Ceila started walking again, feeling bitter.
"Then you'll never see me again."
Haleh stopped her.
"There's been a lot of talk about you," she said. "I want to know something before you leave."
Ceila did not appreciate Haleh's hand on her arm, nor did she appreciate the gathering crowd of gossipy nurses.
"What do you want?" Ceila asked defensively.
Haleh couldn't help but smile wryly.
"What's going on, you know, between you and Kovac?"
Ceila looked at her with burning purpose through glass eyes.
"I've been fucking him," she said simply.
Everyone paused and gaped. Rumour became leaden truth.
"Our favourite place is the radiology room in the east wing," Ceila admitted. "Failing that, the service elevator near the loading garage. There's plenty of room in there."
No one moved or breathed.
Suddenly, Ceila burst out laughing and everyone else laughed too, uncomfortably and then surely.
Haleh could finally breathe after Ceila's shocking tale.
"Oh my! I might almost miss you after all!"
Ceila smiled briefly and then turned to leave.
The masses had been sated.

Luka looked at his watch. It was ten past one and still no sign of Ceila at the pita stand. He doubted there was a fresh slew of traumas. The last rig to pull up was twenty minutes ago (he would know seeing as he treated the patient who came in on it). Something else was up.

Ceila, with tired fingers, peeled off the CANADA ROCKS bumper stick she had slapped on her locker many months ago. She threw the crumpled mass into her backpack, along with her other belongings. She removed the cardboard nameplate with her surname clumsily emblazoned on it and, looking at it once, placed it in her pocket. She patted the front of the locker.
"Someone will look after you, old girl," she muttered and turned away.
Penny caught Ceila before she left the lounge.
"Ceila!"
Ceila adjusted the straps of backpack.
"Oh, hey, Penny! Sorry but I'm leaving ahead of schedule. I meant to tell you but I had stuff I had to take care of."
"Oh, kid, don't be sorry," Penny excused her.
The woman fiddled with a zipper on Ceila's backpack.
"I heard Chief kicked you out," Penny revealed. She pursed her lips. "She has no right."
Ceila shrugged.
"I guess she does. I did hit Carter in the face."
"He deserved it! "Penny blurted. "He's the one who should be leaving!"
Penny took Ceila by the shoulders.
"Fight this. I'll stand by you."
Ceila shook her head slowly.
"No. It's my last day. I just want out."
Penny now crossed her arms in disbelief.
"That doesn't sound like the Ceila I know."
"I'm not dragging this out because I finally hit that arrogant SOB," Ceila said finally. "I'm on my way back to the motherland tomorrow! Yay!"
Penny wanted to share Ceila's enthusiasm but couldn't.
"Do you need anything taken care of?" she asked.
"Nah," Ceila refused. "I took care of some things."
Penny's blue eyes widened.
"I hope that means something nasty."
Ceila did not answer.
"I have to jet."
Ceila started out of the lounge with hunched shoulders.
"We'll be at your place by eight-thirty!" Penny promised.
"Thanks," Ceila added, before leaving for good.

From the pita stand, Luka could see Ceila leaving the hospital. She had let the roll in her hair loose. A soft breeze had caught the loose curls and tossed them about. She shifted the weight of her backpack. Nothing about her demeanor suggested anything troublesome.
Luka ran to her, catching her at the end of the curb.
"Ceila!"
Ceila was surprised to see Luka. The colour in her face waned.
"Luka!"
Luka examined her face.
"I knew it! I knew you should have stayed home!"
Ceila shook her head.
"No. That's not it."
Luka wouldn't listen. He put his hands on his hips.
"You were sick this morning and you were sick here..."
He looked surprised as though he discovered something novel.
"It's probably that new stuff the cleaning staff use! It smells awful!"
Ceila tugged at his white coat.
"No, Luka, I...."
She touched his brow, brushing her fingers lightly on his long lashes.
"It's not the reason."
Luka's shoulders caved in frustration.
"What?"
He threw his head back.
"Goddammit, malina! You never tell me anything!"
She grasped his hands.
"Luka...."
She avoided his eyes for a moment.
"I'm leaving because I decked Carter and I wouldn't apologize for it."
Luka still looked adorably confused.
"Decked? Do you mean you punched him?"
Ceila nodded.
"Yeah."
Her gaze veered right.
"I'm fuckin' tired of him, ya know?"
She let go of Luka's hands.
"I'm not going to fight this because it's my last day. I hope never to see him again. Right now that's all I want."
Luka's jaw squared more and more. The tension built in the back of his head.
"I'm not letting this go," he said finally and stormed into the hospital.
"Luka!" she cried. "Luka!"
But he was gone. Ceila threw her head back, wondering how an opened can of worms could have multiplied so quickly in so short a time.
"Hey!"
Ceila turned left.
Romano walked toward her.
"I thought you were gone."
Ceila bit her lip.
"I was just leaving," she answered him.
"Yeah, I know all about that," Romano huffed.
He put his hands in his pockets.
"Come with me."
Ceila screwed her face up.
"What? Why?"
"Just come with me," Romano said.
Ceila held her ground.
"What for?"
Romano rolled his eyes.
"Stop being such a girl and come with me!"
His manner was becoming more impatient.
"Just follow me!"
Ceila gave in. Might as well, she thought. What harm could it do?
Luka knocked furiously on Kerry's office door.
"Kerry?!" he cried. "Are you in?"
Kerry marched to her door and pulled it open.
"What?!" she snarled.
Her face lost a bit of the initial annoyance when she saw it was Luka.
"Oh! I'm glad to see you've pencilled in some conference time with me, Luka," she sniped.
Kerry crutched off to her desk and sat down.
"Can I help you at all, Luka?" she asked facetiously. "Or are you in the mood to just talk?"
Luka walked into Kerry's office and stood before her desk. He tried to hide his outrage.
"Why did you dismiss Student Nurse Kowalski?" he asked.
Kerry shrugged cavalierly.
"Why should that matter?" she chirped indifferently. "She's only a student. Not that you should care about her!"
Luka could feel he was losing the fight to hide his anger. His nostrils flared.
"Not when she is punished unfairly!" he returned.
He placed his hands on his hips, puffing out heated air.
"You've always been hard on her."
Kerry took exception to that.
"I've stood up for her and bent over backwards for her, Luka, so don't even think of playing the cruel stepmother card with me!"
Kerry now stood up.
"I offered her the chance to apologize to Carter for the incident today and she never did. My hands were tied."
She pointed a finger at Luka.
"I would have done the same for anyone!"
She returned to her seat.
"I was disappointed that she didn't take the opportunity," Kerry admitted. "I like Ceila..."
She stopped. Her voice became low.
"Even if she didn't like me."
Luka could see now how Kerry was hurt by Ceila. He was softened by Kerry's disappointment.
"I don't think she felt that way about you," he said softly.
Kerry scoffed.
"Oh come on! I'm the antithesis of cool! She probably thought I crimped her style!"
Luka scratched the back of his neck.
"She respected you, Kerry. Really."
Kerry gazed at Luka with cool eyes.
"How would you know?"
He shrugged a little.
"I just do," he said.
Kerry doubted him.
"I can't believe anything anyone says, Luka!" she revealed. "No one gives me a straight answer! About anything!"
Luka's voice became more firm.
"Even Carter?"
Kerry would see to his challenge.
"Let's find out."
Kerry dialled a number on her phone.
"Hello, Frank? Please send Dr. Carter up. Thank you."
Kerry hung up the phone and crossed her hands.
"Now let's see who's telling the truth."

Luka and Kerry said nothing as they waited for Carter to arrive. They wrapped their arms around them as tension slowly built up. What would Carter say? What would Carter do? These questions raced in their minds.
There was a knock at the door and a discreet entrance from Carter.
"You needed to see me, Kerry?" he asked sheepishly.
Kerry nodded.
"Yes. Carter, sit down."
Carter turned his head. When he saw Luka's stern face and crossed arms, he elected to take a more defensive stance.
"No, I'll stand."
"Very well," she breathed. "We're here just to clear the air about some things."
Carter perceived what the matter was about.
"This isn't about Kowalski, is it?"
His head flopped back and he outstretched his arms.
"We're not arguing over her, are we?" he whined.
Carter's childish complaints did not phase Luka. He was used to such outbursts.
"Why does she bother you so much?" Luka asked.
Carter burned him with a nasty look.
"Enough!" Kerry demanded. She settled down. "Carter, did you do or say anything that might have upset Student Nurse Kowalski?"
"Like hi?" he asked facetiously. "I might have said that, yeah."
"Please no smart answers," Kerry demanded. "She didn't hit you for no reason."
Carter exhaled.
"I wouldn't let her ride on the elevator when we had patients," Carter revealed. "Not enough room. She doesn't like tight spaces. That's all."
Kerry raised an incredulous brow.
"That's it?"
"Yeah," Carter nodded.
Luka scoffed at him.
"Do you think we're stupid?" he rasped. "She would not be hurt by that. She has much thicker skin."
Carter shot him another evil look.
"You would know about her skin!" Carter rasped.
Luka was stunned. Carter's insolence knew no bounds and now he alluded to his relationship with Ceila.
"Carter, that is enough!" Kerry warned.
Carter's face bore the look of supreme smugness, a look he had effected time and time again.
"I was right."
Kerry now rose and stepped between Carter and Luka.
"Right about what?" she asked.
"Ask Luka," Carter suggested. "I'm sure he can tell you."
"I am not here to discuss rumours, Carter!" Kerry stated. "I'm here to talk about the incident today! Now, did you or did you not do or say anything to upset Student Nurse Kowalski?"
"I don't recall," Carter replied.
Luka rolled his eyes.
"Bullshit!" he muttered.
"Enough, Luka!" Kerry snapped.
She glared at Carter.
"You did say something to her! And I have reason to believe it wasn't the first time!"
Carter unwillingly conceded.
"If you say so."
Kerry stepped aside and placed her hands on her hips.
"So it's fair to characterize your actions as hurtful?"
Carter rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
"OH, I am so sorry I hurt her little feelings!"
Luka could have slapped him.
"I think we can do without the sarcasm, Carter!" Kerry warned.
Carter backed off.
"I don't know what I did, but I didn't treat her any differently than I would anyone else!"
Luka kept his head down. He paused for memory.
"Like hired help."
Carter strained to hear.
"I'm sorry? What?"
Luka tried to look conciliatory.
"Oh! I'm not accusing you of anything! We're here to serve you and we do it happily."
Carter couldn't believe what he was hearing
"I'm the bad guy here? The guy with the bullwhip, right?"
Luka would concede the point.
"You said it!"
"Enough!" Kerry yelled. "Enough with the name-calling and cheap shots! I want some answers now!"
She swivelled her head at both of them.
"I swear, if this is some silly schoolboy crush, the both of you will be suspended without pay!"
Carter furrowed his brow.
"Can you do that?"
"If you piss me off, yes!" Kerry cried.
Kerry paused and breathed deeply.
"Now, will one of you please tell me what this is about?"
Carter drew in breath.
"Yesterday, Student Nurse Kowalski had trouble keeping calm in the tunnel. I gave her an opportunity to back out but she didn't take it. When the tunnel collapsed, she panicked, endangering not only the patient but herself. It's fair to say that now I don't trust her. When I communicated my thoughts to her, she went ballistic."
Carter drew in breath more calmly than before.
"It wouldn't be the first time, either."
Luka gazed at Carter coldly.
"I don't believe you."
Carter dismissed Luka.
"Believe what you like."
"Oh, I believe she was scared," Luka clarified, "I just don't believe you."
Carter gaped.
"Oh, yeah, like, I'm making this up!"
"Maybe you are," Luka supplied.
"You weren't there," Carter returned. He looked at Kerry for support. "She was scared."
"She admitted as much to me," Kerry added to Luka.
She looked again at Carter.
"But that doesn't explain why she struck you today."
"I told you," Carter returned, "when I told her I couldn't trust her, she went thermal!"
Carter exhaled.
"That's just like her- temperamental!"
Luka still held his cold gaze of Carter.
"And you've proven my point."
"Which was?" Carter asked.
"You've never trusted her," Luka answered.
"Well, not now, I don't!" Carter retorted.
"Ever!" Luka said finally.
Carter was adamant.
"We can't have someone who can't keep her cool in an emergency!"
Luka would not listen to him.
"This isn't about her abilities! This is about her!"
Carter denied it.
"That's not true!"
Luka became livid.
"You lying son-of-a-bitch!"
"That is enough!" Kerry cried as she pried her way between them once more. "I'm not seeing anything other some stupid pissing contest between you two!"
She shook her finger at them.
"If this is some boy-crush-thing, I will come down on you so hard!"
Kerry sat behind her desk.
"I want both of you to return to your duties, and not a word of this to anyone!"
She breathed heavily.
"Kowalski's punishment still stands."
Kerry rubbed the stress from her brow.
"Both of you can go."
Luka squared his jaw, swivelling his head angrily to Carter who rested confidently and Kerry who was tired of the goings-on.
"So if I were to hit someone in plain view of everyone, I would be suspended?" he asked her.
"Yeah, sure," she rattled off tiredly.
She nodded to the door.
"Close the door on your way out."
Carter left first.
Luka paused, too angry to move or lift his glare from Kerry. He huffed once and charged out the door to the elevator where Carter was waiting.

Luka was too angry to speak or move or even look at Carter. Carter became relaxed, at ease after the tension in Kerry's office. He glanced at Luka, even though Luka did not look at him.
"I know you don't want to hear this but you should have known what you were getting into."
Luka felt the break.
Of all that Carter had done and said to him, that was it. The audacity Carter must have possessed to even think he could pry his way between him and his lover and then admonish him for it, Luka thought. Luka could not even think what he had done to Carter to merit such treatment he suffered in the past. He would not raise his voice even in mild annoyance at the insubordination, the intrusion into his relationship with Abby, the invasion of his home, the slurs, the insults.
Luka knew what he had to do. He knew before he even left Kerry's office.
The elevator stopped at the ER.
Carter and Luka stepped out.
"Dr. Carter, there's a patient to see you in Curtain Three," Lily informed him.
Carter smiled genially and nodded.
"Sure. Thanks."
Carter walked toward Curtain Three, oblivious to all that was said at the meeting.
Luka followed him for every step. His nostrils flared. He could feel his face grow red with rage.
"Carter!" Luka cried.
Carter turned around.
Luka struck Carter in the nose. Carter flew back, landing once more on his ass. He felt his nose, now bleeding.
Nearby staff gasped and stayed clear of the two men.
Carter could not believe it.
"You bastard!"
Luka scowled at Carter in disgust and stormed away.
Carter shot up and landed a punch on the side of Luka's head.
Luka cried out and cowed down, holding his hand to his newly reddened ear.
"You hit me in the ear!" he cried. "Who the hell hits somebody in the ear?!"
Luka righted himself while still holding his ear.
Carter wiped the blood from his nose with his sleeve.
Luka sucker-punched Carter. Carter responded in kind with a punch that cut Luka just above the right eyebrow. Luka hit Carter in the face once more, pulled his white coat over his head and hit him repeatedly in the back. Carter plowed into Luka, pinning him against the wall. He was able to wriggle free from his coat and gradually punched Luka in the stomach, the chest and the face. Luka grabbed Carter's fists and head butted him, sending him flying back. Before the men could continue the fight some of the male staff stepped between them and held them back.
Pratt and Gallant held the now bleeding Luka from Carter.
"Let go of me!" Luka demanded, wriggling himself free. "I'm through with him."
Carter tried to break free from Jeff and Malik.
"I'm not through with you, you son-of-a-bitch!"
Luka landed one more punch on Carter.
Carter fell to his knees and collapsed on the floor.
Luka wiped the blood that had flowed from his lip and sniffed once.
"Dr. Karamazov, be good enough to tell Dr. Weaver I hit Dr. Carter and that I won't be coming in tomorrow."
Jeff nodded uneasily.
"Alright, Boss-Fella."
The Canadian scratched the back of his neck as he looked on the felled Carter.
"Can I ask why you did this?"
Luka just shook his head and smiled. He turned from the men and went to the lounge to retrieve his things.

They had been walking a long time. When they had stopped, they noticed not only the change of their surroundings but the quality of the drunks staggering about the alley ways.
Ceila lifted her head to see a neon sign above her head not turned on.
"This is a bar," she said.
"Yeah," Romano chuffed. "No wonder they put you ahead of the class!"
Ceila tried to back away.
"No, I can't...."
Romano pulled her arm.
"Yeah, you can," he insisted. "I promised you a shot of tequila and I'm going to deliver!"
Romano pulled her into the bar.
"This is a really divvy place," Ceila noticed. "I mean- aren't you at least going to drag me to gentleman's club or something?"
"No!" Romano huffed. "This is as close as I need to be. Now settle at the bar."
He motioned the bartender to him and ordered two shots of tequila. The bartender poured the tequila and left salt and lime on a plate.
"You're a girl of the world so I don't need to explain the procedure to you," Romano said and downed his shot.
Ceila tried to back away but Romano poured the shot down her mouth. She sputtered and coughed.
"Get the lime in! Quick!" he warned.
Ceila looked for a place to vomit.
Romano finished his slice of lime and shook his head.
"That's how it's done!"
He sat still and placed his hands on the bar. Ceila sat next to him, not knowing what else to do or what Romano had in mind.
Romano appeared to Ceila as unusually relaxed like a man at peace with the world.
"Yep," he muttered.
Ceila tied back her hair.
"Are you headed back to the hospital?"
Romano shook his head.
"Nah."
He toyed with his empty shot glass.
"Those miscreants can do without me."
Ceila offered a weak smile.
"Can they really do without you?"
"Oh, Lord, no!" he cried. "But I don't feel like moving right now."
Ceila rested her head on her fist and locked her eyes on the Michelob tab behind the bar.
"Neither do I."

When Carter awoke, he was on his back and Abby was dabbing his wounds in dimly-lit treatment room. He flinched at a single touch.
Abby did not apologize for wounding him but continued to dab his wounds. That was something, he thought, Ceila would do.
"What happened?" he asked.
"You took quite a beating," Abby returned.
"I know that," Carter said, "but after, I mean? How long was I out?"
Abby shrugged a little.
"I dunno. Maybe ten minutes."
Carter closed his eyes.
"Is Luka waiting for me?"
"Nope," Abby said. "He's long gone."
"Home?" he asked.
"I guess," Abby answered indifferently.
She wiped away a crusty wound.
"He really worked you over!" she wondered.
"Don't I know it!" Carter laughed.
Carter stopped. He sucked on his cheek.
"Look, Abby, I've been thinking about the last few days...."
He hesitated, unsure that his words would find favourable reception.
"I'm sorry I about some of the things I said. I just wanted to say."
Abby huffed.
"You get the snot beaten out of you and now you're Johnny Penitent?"
Carter shook his head.
"No, it's not like that. I still want to kick Luka's ass."
Abby dabbed some more.
"I wouldn't. He's a powerhouse."
Carter breathed deeply.
"This is something else. I... I know I've acted a certain way. I've been thinking about it. I really have. I wanted to say these things but they never got out in time. I'm sorry. I should have trusted you. Listened to you."
Abby snorted and threw away disused cotton swabbings.
"Don't worry about it."
Carter sat up.
"I do."
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"I can see where I was wrong."
Abby now threw away her gloves.
"I told you not to worry about it."
"I want to do this, Abby," Carter breathed. "Let me."
She smirked.
"You can feel good on your time!"
His jaw dropped.
"I'm not doing this to feel good."
Abby threw up her hands and walked out of the treatment room.
"Whatever!"
Carter threw his head back and let a sigh escape his chest.

Kerry had a feeling that Luka would try something rash. She wasn't sure how and had a vague reason why but she did have a feeling where she might get an answer.
Kerry knocked on the door of the radiology lab.
Tracey pulled the door open. Kerry could see by the purse slung over the woman's shoulder that she was ready to leave.
Tracey seemed surprised to see her.
"Ah, Chief! How's business?"
Kerry smiled curtly.
"I need to ask you something really quickly. It won't take long."
Tracey nodded.
"Alright, but do hurry. I promised my son I'd pick him up."
Kerry nodded.
"I know you and Student Nurse Kowalski are....friendly," Kerry began.
"I like to think she is a friend, yes," Tracey added.
"Yes," Kerry nodded again. "And I know you have a fond working relationship with Dr. Kovac."
"What's not to love?" Tracey chirped.
Kerry leaned closer.
"Did you ever see anything going on between them?" she whispered.
Tracey now saw Kerry's true purpose. She remained secretly evasive.
"I wouldn't know, Chief," she denied. "Not a lot of gossip passes through here."
"I'm not naive, Tracey," Kerry said. "I can understand you want to be loyal to both of them but if there is something going on, I think I should know. So much has happened because of what you might think is gossip."
Tracey, steely-eyed, readjusted her purse strap over her shoulder.
"Good evening, Chief," Tracey said and walked around her.
Kerry slapped her hand to her head. An answer of any kind evaded her yet again.
Kerry crutched away from the now empty radiology lab past the admittance desk, hoping to regain some sanity in her office.
Frank chewed on a donut.
"Dr. Weaver," he motioned her to him. "A Fed Ex came in for you."
He handed her the Fed Ex envelope.
Kerry took the envelope from him and walked to the elevator. Once in the elevator, she examined the envelope. It had been sent locally. Curious, Kerry thought. Even more so, was the sender, comically called the Heads-Up Programme. She ripped the envelope open and read the files inside. The breath immediately left her body.
Kerry went pale when she saw the meaning of the Heads-Up Programme.

Though neither of them had drunk anything since their obligatory shot of tequila, they rambled in thought and conversation like ones who had spent the whole afternoon drinking.
"What are you going to do after you get back to the tundra?" Romano asked Ceila.
She knew he meant Canada.
"I'm gonna finish nursing school," she answered. "One more year to go. And then..."
She ripped the edge of a cocktail napkin.
"I thought of being an Arctic nurse because of the need and everything but, you know, stuff happens and now.... I dunno. Station myself somewhere."
Ceila shrugged and became silent.
She swallowed hard and smiled broadly at a past thought.
"You know, my mum wanted me to be a ballerina when I was a kid! Seriously!"
Romano laughed hard.
"A ballerina?" he quizzed. "I can't see you as a ballerina!"
"Yeah, well, when you're a kid, you've got some really curious career choices," Ceila nodded. "And then there was the flirtation with ice-skater and gymnast, momentarily a teacher's aide, and finally I said I wanted to be a nurse and, all of a sudden, she was like- 'great! You've got an aptitude for it! I'll support you! Fantastic! Great career choice! I'm so proud of you!' And I'm thinking- why the hell are my career choices subject to-to someone else's opinion, even her's?"
She wrapped her fingers around the circumference of the shot glass.
"I mean, you're the one who has to walk the walk in this life, so..."
Romano looked at her with equal doses of fatigue and interest.
"Some such thing," Romano muttered.
He flexed his hands.
"I don't say this often because there are very few people to say it to- you have talent. Not just the talent for a nurse but a doctor."
Ceila thought he was joking.
"No, I'm serious," Romano asserted. "You not only have the talent but the balls, and that is what is seriously lacking in this world."
He swivelled in his seat to see her.
"Tell me, really, why you wanted to become a nurse."
He shook his hand at her.
"And don't give me this crap about helping others and smiles on babies' faces and that crap! Just tell me!"
Ceila laughed a little.
"Well, as incredibly Gouda as it may sound, I did want to help," she admitted reluctantly.
Romano groaned.
"Oh come on!" Ceila said. "Don't you tell me that you don't want to make a difference and you're just the guy to do it!"
"Yeah, well," he conceded in a falsely modest way, "I suppose I am a bit that Albert Schweitzer guy."
"Oh, whatever!" Ceila rolled her eyes. "You like helping! Admit it!"
"Admit why you want to be a nurse, or even a doctor," Romano challenged. "Because you know in your bones you think you've got the balls to cheat death!"
Ceila was cornered and she knew it.
"No one can really cheat death," she answered.
She ripped her napkin into shreds.
"I could never sit still. True. Truer still, I enjoy a challenge."
"Get to the point, Deliar!" Romano barked.
She bit on her lip.
"I can't put my finger on it."
Romano was perplexed.
"Try."
"I did fix this guy's arm once," Ceila began, "but that's some hero bullshit you don't want to hear. Anyway, it felt good knowing that I could do something even half-assed while keeping a clear head."
Ceila's eyes glazed over pensively.
"There's situations where the pressure is high and the adrenaline's pumping and all that stuff," she began. "It's like you think you're in the driver's seat but there's the feeling that you're in the passenger seat experiencing all of this racing."
"Okay, you're rambling," Romano pointed out. "Tell me something that makes sense."
Ceila paused and then breathed finally.
"We know ourselves and what we can do when we're forced to do it. And that beats a desk job any day."
She pushed away the bits of the napkin.
"That's kind of where emergency nurse is at for me."
Romano had rested his head on his hand.
"That's it? You're a pressure-junkie? You're in it for the rush? That's all?"
She shrugged.
"I guess. I don't know."
He huffed.
"That was a letdown. I was hoping for, you know, 'I wanted to be like my dad' or something."
She shook her head.
"It's far too complex a thing to ask me. I mean- I could easily help people being a nursing aide in a senior citizens' home but that just doesn't do it for me. I mean- would you be content working only in the ER?"
Romano shook his head.
"No. No, I'm honest with myself, and you should be, too. I hate people but I love surgery. I'm damn good at it and I have the guts to admit it!"
"But you could help people?" Ceila pressed.
"Yeah, I know," Romano agreed, "and I see where you're going with this. We do what we love. Life's on the edge of the razor and all that other fortune-cookie stuff."
Romano breathed in deeply and held his head upright.
"I know you don't like being told what to do," he said softly, "but don't waste your life on some hollow stress high or crusade to save the world. Do what you were made to do."
"How do you know what I was made to do?" she asked.
"I don't," he answered, "but I know when something doesn't have a chance in hell and when something does."
Romano rested his hands on the bar.
"Seriously, kid, I would really consider going into general practice or surgery. You've got a knack for those things. It's much better than wasting your life as some hand-holder."
Ceila looked at the bottom of her empty shot glass.
"I thought I would be doing something more."
Romano shook his head.
"Nah!"
Romano shuffled off his stool and threw a few bills on the bar.
"Anyway, good luck, many happy returns and pet those caribou for me, will ya?"
Ceila chuckled.
"Will do. Thanks."
Romano threw back his hand in a clumsy adieu gesture and disappeared from the bar.

Evening had finally set in.
Penny and Tracey waited for Ceila in the alley behind the Vanilla Flower. They sat still in Penny's car. Penny kept her eyes locked on the wind screen and her hands tensely wrapped around the wheel.
"Go over this again," she asked Tracey.
"I'd rather not," she refused.
Penny hung her head.
"If the Chief ever found out what Kovac and Ceila were really up to..."
"I know," Tracey agreed.
"The rules are there for a reason!" Penny declared.
"The rules don't matter a damn, Penny! You know that!" Tracey returned. "You and I have been privy to some real shite! I mean- career- damaging shite!"
Tracey crossed her hands.
"Who the hell do they think they are if they want to get in the way of two grown people having a bit of fun?"
Penny sighed.
"Dr. Kovac and Ceila aren't just two people. He's her superior."
"I know that," Tracey said. "But he wasn't marking her. And we both know he never took any crap from her, nor her from him."
"And Kovac isn't 'just a bit of fun'," Penny added. "He's got some real feelings."
Tracey looked at the time on her cell phone.
"The girl knows that."
She turned and smiled at Penny.
"I think they'll make a go of it. I really do."
Tracey looked at the phone again.
"Speaking of Ceila, where is she? It's almost eight."
Penny looked at her watch.
"Maybe the same place the boys are," she supposed.
"So she'll have pizza, too?" Tracey wondered.
Penny chuckled a little.
"For our waiting, she'd better!"
Tracey looked at her cell phone once more and then looked up.
"Speak of the devil!"
Ceila wandered to over to her flat. She smiled when she saw Tracey and Penny waiting and ambled over to the car. She leaned over to the passenger side window.
"How long have you been waiting?" Ceila asked.
Tracey kept her patience in reserve.
"Long enough!"
"We sent the boys to get pizza over twenty minutes ago," Penny said.
Ceila looked grateful.
"Thanks."
Ceila looked in the car.
"Where are the kids?"
"The girls are baby-sitting Penny's kids," Tracey explained.
Ceila frowned.
"I really wanted to say good-bye to them!"
"We're coming down for Christmas," Penny said. "We'll see you then."
Tracey tapped on Ceila's hand.
"Let's hurry this up, Kid!" Tracey cheerfully demanded. "Some people have work tomorrow!"
Ceila rolled her eyes and pulled the car open. The business of packing had to get underway.

It was nearly nine o'clock when a huge part of the packing got underway. Tracey's sons consigned themselves to an evening of forced labour. Another bout of computer games would have to wait. Tracey and Penny proved industrious, especially after Craig, Penny's husband, appeared with a much-anticipated pizza. The work moved at a quick yet labourious pace. Ceila removed all of her things from her room and placed them in boxes, keeping a watchful eye on the phone.
Penny lifted pictures from the walls and Tracey handled some books on a shelf.
"Where do you want these, dear?" Tracey asked.
Ceila lifted her eyes from the phone.
"Oh..." she said, jarred from her vigilance, "just in a box over there, by the door."
"Is someone coming to get these things?" Penny asked. "I mean- there is only so much stuff you're going to take with you."
"Yeah," Ceila nodded. "My mum is taking some stuff into storage until I can send for it."
Tracey now looked at the phone.
"Is someone gonna call?" she asked.
Ceila tried not to look guilty.
"I thought maybe one of the Jeffs would call."
"I know Karamazov is working another shift," Penny revealed. "I think little David has a cold. McFarlane's really worried about that."
Ceila chuckled a little.
"I never pictured Jeff as worried," Ceila admitted.
"Yeah," Tracey joined in. "Fatherhood has definitely made him soft."
"What do you want done with this stuff?"
Ceila turned around. Craig, Penny's lanky redheaded husband, fiddled with the few items of crockery Ceila had in the kitchen.
"Just pack it," Ceila asked. "I'll help."
Ceila climbed over half-full boxes and entered the kitchen to help Craig.
Craig wasted no time in lifting out the contents of Ceila's cupboards.
"We need some bubble wrap or something for these coffee mugs," he suggested.
He had his back turned to Ceila, being uncharacteristically busy. Not that he was an idle man but being a house-husband (a departure from his hectic days as an information broker) had given him a certain degree of laissez-faire.
"I can't thank you enough for helping," Ceila said softly.
Craig looked at her. His eyes had a soft blue innocence that had been noticed before, but there was a look of being touched in them now.
"Don't mention it," he returned.
He continued to remove things from the cupboards and shelves but now at an easier pace. Ceila matched his pace.
"I was..." he started.
Ceila paused.
"Yeah?"
He now looked at her.
"You know that CD you had," he muttered awkwardly. "The one you were playing when we were all together for August?"
Ceila waited for her memory to be refreshed.
"We were over for cocktails and barbecue," Craig extrapolated. "It was this soft samba sort of music."
Ceila nodded with recognition on her face.
"Ah! Bebel Gilberto!"
Craig nodded.
"I guess."
He placed a mug securely in a box.
"Yeah, anyway, I was humming that song all night long. I could not get that music out of my head for the life of me! So I want to know if I could copy the CD."
Ceila smirked at him.
"That's stealing!"
Craig lifted a familiar mug and dangled it before her.
"I recognize this!"
Ceila was scandalised.
"Penny gave that to me!"
Craig only laughed.
"Why don't you just buy the CD?" Ceila asked.
"Why don't I just copy it?" Craig grinned wickedly.
Ceila smacked him with a dish towel.
"Okay!" Craig cried with his hands in mock surrender. "I'll buy it! Now that I know who it is!"
Ceila left some mugs out on the table.
"We'll leave these out for tea," she said.
Penny popped into the kitchen almost unawares.
"Did I hear tea?"
Ceila moved toward the kettle.
"I was just about to make some," she piped.
Penny smiled.
"Good. I could use some."
Penny helped her husband pack the remainder of the crockery.
"I'll let you know if the phone rings," Penny offered.
Ceila turned the stove on. She kept her eyes low.
"Thanks," she offered weakly.

It was almost nine o'clock when Luka staggered in. He knew that Ceila would be in the midst of packing with her friends so he decided not to bother her, especially with the newly-formed bruises on his person.
And he needed to think.
He saw that some messages had piled up in his voice mail. He ignored them. He didn't want to be bothered by anything now. He reached for a cigarette (a verboten item since his relationship with Ceila had begun) and lit it up. He then slumped on the couch and put his head back (something he hadn't done since Abby had taken him out). He breathed heavily but finally.
It was over.
He couldn't return to the hospital. He severed his ties with it impromptu. He wondered why. When he thought of what he did earlier, he laughed.
He stopped laughing when he thought of Ceila. The many months ago when she first arrived, bloodied and dishevelled, at the ER, he was stunned by her. Not in the way Carter had been (few had been stunned as such) but by how she looked.
It was always how she looked, he thought. Determined to save her first patient's life. Disappointed at her feeling of insignificance. Her eager attitude. Her pouting. Her demure little looks with her bright, shiny eyes. Her looks of defeat.
Then it was how she was. Eager to please, flirtatious, devoted.
She never doubted him or challenged him. She overlooked his past infidelities. She wanted him, she said. She meant it, he thought. She had to have.
Luka mashed out the cigarette, went to his computer and went online. He typed in airlines and started searching.

It was ten-thirty when the packing, for the most part, had been done. All that was left were the remainders but a brief yet eventful stay in the flat above the Vanilla Flower. The landlord said he would be sorry to see her go.
Ceila offered parting head rubs to Tracey's boys, thanking them for their help.
"So you've got a ride to the airport?" Tracey asked one more time.
Ceila shoved her hands in her pockets.
"Yeah."
Penny touched the girl's arm on her way out.
"You know how to reach us."
and Craig6..." Craig rattled off.
Ceila nodded.
"I know! I know!"
Craig now picked Ceila up by the waist and hugged her.
"We'll miss you!"
Penny slapped her husband on the shoulder.
"Knock it off, you!"
Craig put Ceila down.
Penny hugged the girl.
"You know who's here if you ever come back," she said.
Ceila did not look at her friends but nodded.
Tracey ruffled the girl's hair.
"You say hello to the old girl for me," she spoke affectionately of her country.
"Will do," Ceila nodded.
They departed at last. Ceila waved to them one more time and disappeared in to the emptying shell that was her flat. The boxes were packed, marked and lined up in a row. Not much for her short stay in Chicago. She kicked the duffle bag she was bringing with her and fell exhaustedly on the couch. She lay down on the last remaining cushion and, before closing her eyes, looked at the phone once more.

No breakfast in the morning. Only the long ride to O'Hare airport filled spaces in between.
"Ceila?"
Ceila felt her father touch her face.
"You'll call me once you land, right?" he pressed.
Ceila nodded weakly.
Her father hugged her and held her.
"You're in the home stretch now!" he grinned. "You'll finish school and then you can pay off those goddamn loans!"
"Don't remind me!" she begged.
He held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.
"I'll be seein' ya, my girl."
Her father let go of her and waved once more before she turned into the security wing.
Ceila handed her passport and shoulderbag to security personnel with heavy arms. She was tired. And expectant.
She wandered slowly to the gate. She had gotten the good-byes she expected from her friends and family (even last-minute calls sufficed). She had waited for one more.
"Ceila!"
Ceila spun around.
Luka ran to the gate clutching his ticket desperately, leaving behind flustered airport personnel.
Ceila was breathless when she saw him. He hadn't showed up or called at all and now he ran after her.
"Luka!"
"Wait!" he cried.
She met him half way and embraced him.
"I thought you wouldn't come!" she confessed.
He was out of breath.
"I wasn't sure if I should."
Ceila saw the marks on his face.
"What happened?"
"I was in a fight...." he admitted. "With Carter."
She looked amazed.
"Wow! He did that? I'm almost proud of him."
She touched an unscathed brow.
"Why are you here? I thought you wouldn't come... I thought..."
His face bore a look of confusion.
"I don't know what to do."
"I don't understand," she said.
Luka swallowed. He did not veer his gaze from Ceila's eyes.
"If I stay," he started, "I go back where I didn't make a difference..."
She smiled at him.
"You've always made a difference. Why won't you believe that?"
"Only to you," he revealed.
She felt defeated.
"Oh, Luka, I know that can't be so."
"It is," he said. "I know now that you're the only one who really makes me feel like a good person. And I want to feel like that always. If you're gone, then I won't."
She gripped his shoulders.
"Luka, you've always been a good doctor. I don't give a shit what anyone has ever said or done to you! You are a good person and don't let anyone make you feel different!"
"Only you believe that," he said softly.
Ceila's eyes had a gravity to them he could not fathom.
"Well, if that's the way you feel, then why stay?"
Luka thought about it.
"Why stay?" she asked again. "If they don't care for you, leave."
The attendant called out.
"Boarding call for seats 16 through 30."
Ceila adjusted the strap of her shoulder bag.
"Look, you have the ticket and you have the choice."
She touched Luka's shoulder.
"Come with me. There's nothing for you here."
Ceila walked over to the attendant and gave her the ticket.
Luka hesitated. He looked back once.
Finally, he turned into the gate and boarded the plane.