I wish I owned .hack/SIGN...
Beware the seemingly OOC state of everyone in the story.
A merry Christmas to you all. I plan to spend the weekend fangirling over the Xenosaga 2 OST I got for my birthday. And somehow incorporatingChristmas into this "story". /sweatdrop
Episode 3: Kurim and Ginkan and their plan.
It was a dark and stormy night. Random lightning strikes behind the .hack/Project studios, giving it a eerie and stereotypically foreshadowing look.
Ginkan looked at section S (Sign), studio building Theta DL, just as a lightning bolt struck again. "God, that's an eerie and stereotypically foreshadowing look of building Theta DL."
Kurim scoffed and leaned his naginata over his shoulder. "That's just Mirelle playing around with thunder spells. Or some wavemaster…"
"Like BT? Didn't you guys have a thing somewhere in or around episode 'Conflict'?"
Kurim's eye twitched. "Let's… not talk about that." Both ventured inside the eerie building Theta DL.
It was dark inside. Kurim and Ginkan had a hard time finding the light switch… and they still haven't, leaving them in the building dimly lit by the light outside.
"Hey, Kurim."
"What?"
"Why are we in building Theta DL, anyways?"
"Because Tsukasa's in there."
"How are you sure?"
"Because!"
"But how are you sure that I'm here?"
"What are you talking about, Ginkan? We walked in together!"
"Ginkan?"
The doors shut behind them, the room going pitch black. But the lights turned on, and Kurim found himself looking at the very person he saw as a demon/heathen/homo or something…
"Ginkan's still outside," Tsukasa said, "silly."
"What did you call me!" Kurim readied his fighting stance.
"Silly?"
"That's it!" He jumped high in the air and brought his blade down into Tsukasa's skull.
Well, that would have happened if Tsukasa hadn't summoned his guardian to deflect the level 99 warrior's blow. Kurim was thrown quite a distance away thanks to the law of physics and elastic collisions.
"I thought the guardian betrayed you in the episode 'Castle' …or after!" Kurim exclaimed in disbelief.
"Well, I saved Mimiru by taking its hit, so technically no, he didn't… but I was talking with Morgana the other day at the snack table in building Delta MA. She offered to let me play around with Guardian before the time to film episode 'Net Slum' came around. Wonder why…"
"But but but…" Kurim sat crosslegged and whacked himself over the head. "This isn't going according to plan! You're supposed to be a helpless little level five wavemaster who would cower as soon as Ginkan and I beat you to the ground and tie you up in the rope he has and then hide you somewhere!"
One may expect Tsukasa to have some kind of reaction to what he just said…
So let's have her react in some way.
"Guardian," was all she had to say before the guardian and Kurim began playing a game of tag, though Kurim was reluctantly the one being chased.
The studio building doors (or at least one of them) slammed opened. Ginkan trudged inside, burnt to the data core.
Tsukasa and Kurim (while he still ran around) looked at Ginkan's overcooked state.
"Ginkan!" Kurim shouted while now running around in circles. "Where have you been!"
"Sorry…" the Silver Knight (in the American version of .hack/SIGN (oo)) sat himself by the seemingly forever replenished snack table. "I ran into BT just after you went in. It's a funny story actually." He casually poured himself a cup of coffee as Kurim ran past with Guardian on his tail. "She asked me why I was around the Theta buildings and I told her that I was with Kurim. Then she went into paralysis or some kind of status and then went magic happy and zapped me with at least… two water spells and three thunders. Well you know how water conducts electricity…" he chuckled. "Hey, what happened between you and BT?"
"SHUT UP AND HELP ME."
"You might want to pick your legs up higher. That guardian will get ya if you keep running like that."
"Okay, just SHUT UP then."
A few days later…
Ginkan opened the door of Kurim's trailer. "Hey, someone told me to bring you these 'get well' flowers!"
Kurim stood… or at least he tried to, with a broken leg and multiple bruises. "Who's it from?"
"Dunno. I see an S on the card."
"SUBARU! MY LOVE!" Kurim rushed over, his wounds suddenly gone, grabbing the flowers. He saw that it was only from Sora.
…wait, Sora?
"That bastard wrote 'Loser' all over the card! What is he, a fourth grader!"
Ginkan scratched his head. "Yeah, he is."
Kurim in turn slapped Ginkan over his head. "Idiot, do you realize there are people who haven't seen the last episode of .hack/SIGN yet!"
"Have we even filmed that yet?"
"Of course we have! .hack/SIGN was released in the US in 2002!" (which is one of the reasons why the author is depressed from missing Kajiura's first concert at AX 2003.)
"Then why are we still here in '.hack/Project studios' filming episodes?"
"Because it's for the sake of the story, dope!"
Ginkan went inside Kurim's trailer and made himself comfortable on the couch. "So, are we going to resume 'DESTROY TSUKASA' yet?"
Kurim closed the door and scampered to a table. "Yup, I have a plan B already planned out!" He handed Ginkan a manila envelope.
Ginkan looked inside. "There's nothing here."
"EXACTLY."
"What?" Confusion ensues.
"We shall erase Tsukasa from existence!"
"…how?"
"By using the magic eraser, silly!"
Ginkan gasped loudly. "But that's just a legend!"
"But! Legend has it that BT has the magic eraser in her trailer!"
"I thought you had a thing going wrong with BT…"
"All the more reason to steal from her." At this point Kurim actually seemed to be beaming with pride for such logic.
Ginkan shot him a look that screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Well! If you don't like my plans, think of your own!"
"I think I will!" Ginkan sat cross-legged, thinking of his own brilliant plan. "Aha! I will make Subaru jealous that I give BT more attention than her!"
It was Kurim's turn to shoot Ginkan with his own facial expression. "You IDIOT! Why BT!"
"Because I don't go for younger girls like Mimiru?"
"And yet Subaru's only like… what, 21? And you're 27?"
"You're thinking in terms of after the games. She's 17 now while I'm 23. Tsukasa would be 15 and Mimiru too. I think BT's 20, so it works. :D"
Kurim rolled his eyes. "And yet you're going for someone younger than BT."
"Hey, you were trying for Subaru too!"
"Suuuuuubaru!" Tsukasa called from atop her pet.
Subaru returned Tsukasa's call. "Hi Tsuka—what's with the Guardian?"
"Morgana lent him to me! 3. She said I should be able to play with him at least until we have to film Net Slum. What's with episode Net Slum, anyways?"
Unlike Tsukasa apparently, Subaru had already read a little ahead on Net Slum's script. "Uh, well, I'm not sure either…"
"Wanna ride on Guardian with me? I went shopping for some Santa sprites and equips!" Tsukasa put on a Christmas version of her original hat. "We're going trailer to trailer dropping off presents!"
Subaru thought for a while. "Okay!" The guardian picked her up and plopped her on his back. Tsukasa promptly patted a Santa hat on Subaru's head and wrapped a green scarf around her neck.
And away they flew!
Ginkan went a-knockin' on BT's trailer door.
And BT went a-"not-here" on him.
"You ARE there, doofus!" Ginkan playfully shouted.
BT didn't seem to take it as playful banter, judging from a very loudly screamed "Vak Don" and a burnt trailer door that flew straight at Ginkan. But since Ginkan and a lot of the other people at .hack/Project studios were pretty used to Mirelle's obsession over the spell, he was barely able to dodge BT's attack. He trotted on inside her trailer anyways.
"What do you want, Ginkan?"
"Well, I've been reading ahead on future episode scripts…. And then I got to episode Catastrophe."
"Yeah, what about it?"
"You've read it? That means you know the battle scene with the silver guardians."
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Doesn't it make you wonder… when I sacrificed my HP for Subaru, why did you kept me alive until Mimiru cut the Data Drain thing from the evil guardians?"
"Well, we couldn't afford to lose any more fighters against the guardian."
"Oh." Ginkan thought for a moment. "No other reason? I mean, you did ask me if I needed a heal."
"Like I said…. we couldn't afford to lose any more fighters against the guardian."
"But in the script you were supposed to say… uh…" he quickly turned away and scanned the Catastrophe script that he stole from some room. "Something about that if I can talk then I could have healed myself?"
"Do you have a point?"
Ginkan obviously wasn't able to bring his point across, so in desperation to say something, "Uh, I know your secret."
That got BT's attention. "Oh really…" she raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Kurim told me about it."
"That bastard!" Ginkan took BT's sudden rise in voice volume as a sign that he should skedaddle before she went magic crazy.
Well, Ginkan thought as he ran away from BT's burning trailers, the jealousy plan didn't work (yet). But I followed everything this book I found in the dumpster… He looked at the book titled How to get BLT. The "L" was crossed out. As soon as he got to a safe distance, he looked behind at the burning trailer. There were things flying everywhere, and one of them hit him on the head. Unfortunately for the Ginkan haters, the particle was small and rubbery and had the words "Magic Rub" on it. Ginkan put in his pocket because he thought it was weird to be shot at with a piece of rubber.
"Fire at BT's trailer by the snow fields building," a voice from the intercom announced calmly.
Some of the .hack/SIGN cast (namely Sora, Mimiru, Bear, Kurim, Guardian, Maha, Morgana, and Aura) were in the editing room helping to splice random scenes together to form episode "Evidence" and didn't even bother panicking about the fire.
The director looked up from the screen. "Is BT here?"
Everyone else in the room shook their head or said no.
"Oh, that's why."
Ginkan came bursting through the editing room's door, apparently suffering a few burns. "Kurim!"
Everyone else looked at Kurim while Kurim himself remained concentrated on the editing controls.
Ginkan yelled harder. "KURIM!"
Kurim groaned and faced the one calling him. "What is it?"
Ginkan panted, "Problem… with… BT."
Everyone switched their attention from Ginkan and Kurim back to the screen as if nothing happened. Kurim did the same too until…
"And I found this!"
Kurim inspected the rubber piece of whatever that Ginkan held up. "…magic rub… OMGAHD you found this at BT's trailer!" He dragged Ginkan outside the room and shut the door. "This is it!"
"The magic eraser?"
"Yes! We can erase Tsukasa from existence." Kurim threw his hands up in the air out of joy. "You have to be careful, though. That thing's sensitive… HEY!"
Ginkan had already started rubbing at a horn on his helmet with the eraser. The left one was halfway gone.
"Great, now we have to redraw in your horn," Kurim scolded.
Ginkan's facial expression had a bit of confusion. "You mean there's a magic pencil?"
"That's an alternative. Subaru has the magic pencil… or was it Aura? One of them has it." Kurim thought on that. "Actually, Morgana can probably reconfigure your sprite code to regenerate the horn and… HEY! STOP IT!" Ginkan had started rubbing at his right helmet horn. Kurim snatched the magic eraser from him. "NOT A TOY."
Ginkan whimpered. "Give that back! I found it!"
Kurim waved it side to side, keeping it out of the knight's reach. "Not until you learn to behave, idiot!"
"Give it! It's mine!"
In midst of Ginkan's persistence at the eraser and Kurim's constantly waving it around to keep it out of other's reach, a most terrible predicament occurred (oh so horrible). Kurim nearly forgot that the eraser was sensitive and accidentally erased part of Ginkan's face… the eyes, to be exact.
"Turn on the damn lights!" he screamed in idiotic panic. "Oh wait, I don't have eyes anymore."
Kurim proceeded with cursing since Ginkan just began his trip to non-existence. As soon as he finished ranting in dirty words, "Okay, now we've got to find out whether Subaru or Aura has the magic pencil without them knowing that we plan to steal it later."
"Can't we just ask or borrow it?"
"Of course not," Kurim scoffed. "It's a lot more invigorating if we steal it." He skipped off towards the group of trailers between the Delta buildings and Theta buildings, where Subaru's trailer was.
Ginkan sighed. No wonder Kurim never got Subaru… He trudged after the Red Lightning.
YAY for people who review'd! And those who just read it!
