I get bored easily.

By the way, even though many of you may have figured already, I don't own .hack/SIGN or any of the .hack/ project. I have only MP3s and an obsession over Subaru cough.

……………………………………………………

Episode 5! Party (the other episode)

Maha floated to the microphone up at the front with a floating violin. She cleared her throat.

"… … …. ….. ….., .. …. ….. ………

… .. …., … …. …….. …. …….

.. … …. .. ……..? .. … …. ……?

…. … … ….. ….. …., ……. … ……

"… …… … …… …. ……

… …… …… … …….

… … .. …. …. …. …. ….

…..'. …. … .. …… … ……."

Ginkan leaned over to BT. "Who's at the violin?" he whispered.

"That's Morgana," BT said drinking her coffee all the while. "I heard she's been taking lessons from Aura."

"Damn, she's good."

Maha and Morgana finished their performance with a bow and floated away.

"I LOVE YOU MAHA!" Tsukasa screamed as Subaru dragged her.

Bear came up on stage. "Give it up for Morgana's violin solo! Whoo!" He clapped.

Sora shouted, "You stink!" A flaming ball lands on him.

"Sorry, staff slipped," said BT. She resumed to her coffee.

Aura floated to Bear and whispered something in his ear. "Oh, and Maha for that lovely song." He went blank. To Aura he whispers back, "She sang something?" Aura nodded and floated away. "Anyways, who do we have next?"

While Subaru and Tsukasa rap out "Fake Wings Make Decision", Maha and Morgana floated to Aura's table in the corner. "Any word on Kurim, yet?" she asked.

"……., …." Maha said.

"We're still looking for him," Morgana said.

"Damn it, does he know that we know what he did to my trailer? My teddy bear's torn up, for Hoerwick's sake! TORN!" Aura began sobbing.

"..'. ….," Maha comforted. She patted the girl's back. "..'.. …. … ………."

"Mhm," Morgana concurred. "I remember last glimpsing him running into a rectangle in the middle of nowhere and disappearing and Tsukasa and Ginkan was there too."

Aura and Maha stared at Morgana. "And you didn't say that earlier why?"

"The subject never came up."

"MY TEDDY BEAR WAS RUINED BECAUSE OF KURIM, DAMN IT!" Aura shouted.

Everyone in the building looked their way.

"So.. uh.." Bear coughed. "Let's give a hand to Subaru and Tsukasa."

Tsukasa took off her headphones. "We're not even done yet."

"Shut up."

……………………………………………………

"So you're not really married?"

"Nope." Santa ate a cookie. "Take one, Kurim."

"Oh, thanks." Kurim added a cookie to his already growing plate of cookies. "So you don't really go to everyone's houses on Christmas?"

"Nope."

"Then how?"

Santa hesitated. "Promise not to tell anyone?"

Of course not, he thought. "Of course," he said.

"Clones."

Kurim showed his surprise. "What?"

"Yup. I clone myself sometime in November a few hundred times, stick the cells in capsules, and then add water later in December." He chewed on cookies.

"So why haven't I seen any of your clones?"

"Fuel."

Kurim stared aghast at him. "…fuel?"

"My clones are temporary, grown in a relatively quick time (1:35:25 hours) and last for the entire year as fuel (for heating and…. other things)… at least until I water my clones again."

Kurim's face lessened a bit in surprise, but still. This is jolly ol' St. Nick?

"You humans are such imaginative liars."

Kurim's face went into complete startled mode. "What?"

"I read your mind. I don't know why you guys call my jolly or something as if I was the greatest philanthropist in the world. I 'use' my clones to heat the home, for Big Bang's sake."

I'm going to ignore that.

"Yeah, yeah, cling on to your childhood beliefs…"

……………………………………………………

"I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!" Sora kept at the chant and dancing all the while on stage. Horribly, might I add?

But no one complained. They couldn't anyways… since Sora paid Morgana some cold hard cash to keep knives afloat at their throats.

So while Sora chanted the words over and over again to the same dance movements, everyone except for Morgana, Maha, and Aura had their lives at stake.

"..'. …….. .. …." Maha scoffed.

Aura nodded in descent. "Why are you willing to put up with this, Morgana?"

"Cash."

"Ah, got it."

"……. … .. … …." Maha begged. ".'. …… …. .'.. …. .. ……."

"You won't lose your hearing." Morgana rolled her eyes.

"Well," Aura said, "if you're not going to stop it the discord, then I will." She stood up and extended a hand. All the floating knives obeyed her command and flew at Sora, barely missing his body but pinning him to the wall.

"This is an outrage!" Sora screamed. "I'm too young to be rejected! NU!"

Aura nodded to Morgana. "Please."

Morgana nodded back and summoned a miniature Skeith to Sora's side. Sora immediately shut up.

Bear, sweating and dreary, trudged to the microphone. "Okay… who's next? And please don't suck."

Balmung stood up, raising his hand frantically. "I wanna go! I wanna go!"

"Like I said," Bear repeated, "Who's next, and please don't suck."

"Pleeeeeease?" Balmung persisted. He jumped up and down.

"No, Balmung. The last time you came up… something happened." Bear looked around, and saw Mimiru raising her hand too. "Okay, Mimi—"

"Damn it, I am Balmung of the Azure Sky!" Balmung fumed back. "Orca!"

A green man came up to Bear and shoved him aside. "Okay, who's next?" he spoke into the mike.

Balmung stood up, raising his hand frantically. "I wanna go! I wanna go!"

"Okay, Balmung."

"YES! In your face, Mimiru!" he taunted.

"Oh yeah?" Mimiru stood up, her blade ready.

"Oh, so you want to bring it on?"

"I'm not afraid!"

"Fine! TEAM PERFECT DARK ARENA!" Balmung screamed. The two were transported into Area 52 from Perfect Dark N64. "And since I said 'team', I choose Orca as one of my members."

"What?" Mimiru exclaimed. Orca was transported to his side. "Well, I choose… Bear!"

Just as Bear woke up from his state of unconsciousness inflicted upon him by Orca, he was transported to Mimiru's side.

Balmung scoffed. "Loser! I choose Subaru!"

"What a weakling. I choose Kurim! Where is Kurim, anyways?"

……………………………………………………

"Well, reindeers weren't always a lie," Santa explained.

"Really?" Kurim was incredulous, considering that everything else about Santa seemed to be a lie.

"Yeah. I used to use reindeer, but then technology advanced, so I updated my systems."

"What happened to your reindeer?"

"Oh, they're just lying around in the building next to my house."

Kurim saw the building through a window. He noticed a silhouette of a reindeer and what looked like wine. "Oh, wait, there's something I've been meaning to ask you since—" He was interrupted, transported to Mimiru's side. "Santa Claus?"

"What? No, it's me, Mimiru."

"What! NOOOOO! SANTA! Wait, what am I doing here in Area 52? And why are Bear, BT, you, and I here?"

"Team arena. Something about Perfect Dark."

"Team? Who's on the other team?"

Fireballs shot past them. At instinct Mimiru and Kurim took off down a corridor.

"I think," Mimiru panted, "Balmung, Orca, Subaru, and Mireille."

"What! Subaru!"

Speak of the devil. She was standing right in front of them.

Mimiru and Kurim kept running. "Subaru's only level 15," Mimiru pointed out. "She can't be too much trouble."

And that's when Subaru used the magic pencil Tsukasa returned to her to draw a Dragon automatic and aimed it straight at them. Mimiru and Kurim halted immediately and turned back only to halt at the sight of a fiery Mireille. "Crap," Kurim murmured.

"This way!" Mimiru dragged Kurim into a small tunnel where they both picked up shields.

……………………………………………………

Meanwhile, back in the studio building where the party was being held, the ones left were Sora, Skeith, Ginkan, Tsukasa, Morgana, Maha, and Aura, watching them on a jumbo screen.

"Man, look at them go," Sora commented.

Skeith and Ginkan nodded in agreement.

"It's a good thing I returned the pencil to Subaru," Tsukasa chuckled.

The AMM gang where watching from their table in the corner. "I hope Kurim dies," Aura said, "though I want to kill him myself later."

Sora went around holding a bowl. "Bet on team, who will it be, Mimiru or Balmung? Step right up and bet your amount here!"

"… …. … … ….. .. …?" Maha asked Morgana.

"Hm, I guess I'll bet 5000 gold on Balmung."

"…."

"Hey, I'm no wimp! Just careful."

"… … . …."

"Well, how much are you betting?"

Maha dropped 30000 gold into the pot.

"Are you crazy?" Maha grinned evilly at Morgana. "Fine, I'll put in 35000 gold."

Maha scoffed. She dropped another 10000 gold.

"Show off!" Morgana added 5000 gold to the pile.

"'Ey 'ey 'ey!" Aura interrupted. "Save your cash for something that's important, 'kay?"

"But Aura, kid, this is my pride on the line."

"… .'. ………. ….. .. … ..!" Maha taunted

"Oh, just wait until Balmung's team wins!"

……………………………………………………

"Oo, pretty gun!" Kurim squealed. He quickly ran to get it, setting the mine off and getting blown up in the process. The smoke cleared and he sat dazed.

Mimiru shook her head in disappointment. "That's a mine, dolt"

"Well, I kinda figured that already!" Kurim shouted angrily.

"Luckily your shield kept you from dying, but now it's gone. How are you going to keep yourself alive until you get another one?"

Kurim saw Mirelle next to the entrance, just about shooting a fireball at them with a cute little grin. He grabbed Mimiru and held her like a human shield to take the blast for him. "And that's how I'll keep myself alive," he remarked. Both scampered away, dodging Vak Dons.

Though they managed to lose the pyromaniac freak that is Mirelle in this story, they were confronted by a much larger and buffer green man wielding a sword.

"Oh… hey Orca." Kurim waved a small one.

"I hate red," Orca stated back.

"Heheh, I can figure that, since you're green." Kurim kept on smiling.

"Give me three reasons for not killing you right now."

"Uh…." Kurim looked around and grabbed the nearest thing. "Here! Here is a reason!"

"Mimiru?"

"Kurim, put me down please," Mimiru requested shakingly. "Hi Mr. Greenman."

"I'm Orca, ya delinquent," Orca corrected assertedly.

"Yeah…"

To Kurim, Orca asked, "So how is Mimiru a reason why I shouldn't kill you?"

Kurim put Mimiru down. "Ya see, she's really your long lost daughter."

"What?" the green giant and Mimiru said in unison.

"Yeah, uh, and I'm on her team… so by killing me that portrays you as an inconsiderate man who doesn't care who he kills. Heck, you might as well kill Mimiru if you're that kind of per—" Kurim was promptly interrupted by Orca, who currently had him by the throat above ground. He drew out his sword and prepared to swing.

SLASH!

Orca fell to the ground. Bear was behind him, his blade poised and covered in his temporary for-the-sake-of-realism blood.

"Yo, Bear!" Kurim choked for air. "Nice… going." Kept coughing.

"Why are you wearing a black face mask?" Mimiru asked.

"To add to the whole ninja assassin look," Bear explained. He shot a pose. "How do I look?"

"Like an idiot. You don't even have a black shirt."

"Well, it didn't seem right. Besides, that's not the only reason why I'm wearing a face mask."

"Oh?"

"Nope. Another reason is that," Bear pulled off his face, revealing it to be Balmung's face. "I'm Balmung!"

"What!" Mimiru was freaked out both by the fact that Balmung has Bear's body and her death was evidently soon.

"No, not really." Balmung pulled off his face to reveal himself as Bear (again). Mimiru sighed. "So, where to?"

Kurim shot back up after a few minutes of getting his air back. "Check the radar."

Mimiru pulled out a two-dimensional radar. "We're here… and the 'briefcase' that we have to get is there. I think we're supposed to have it by the time the game ends."

"So I guess we run around until we find the briefcase," Bear concluded. He got konked on the head and fell down. BT was behind him, evidently the one who did it.

"Take that Orca!" she sneered.

"BT!" Mimiru and Kurim exclaimed, though Kurim's tone of voice was more on the… 'oh crap' side.

"Orca's dead already!" Mimiru scolded.

"Well duh, I just killed him," BT rolled her eyes.

"No, I mean, Orca was dead long before! That's his body over there!"

"Oh."

"Hey," Kurim poked, "Why don't dead bodies in here revive elsewhere right away?"

Mimiru thought about playing Perfect Dark a while back. "The player doesn't automatically revive. He has to restart himself."

"So why hasn't Orca restarted himself yet?"

……………………………………………………

In the bathroom, Orca was in front of the mirror, brushing his hair. "I think I'll take a walk outside now, the sunshine's calling my name! I hear you now; I just can't wait inside all day na na na na na na na na!" Orca started to get really into the song, jumping to the beat. "Everybody's smiling! It's a sunshine day!"

……………………………………………………

"Maybe he's 'AFK' ('away from keyboard'). I guess Bear is too since he hasn't revived yet."

Silence passed.

Kurim tried to make conversation. "So what have you been doing, BT?"

"Oh… just looking for the coffee dispensers," BT answered. "My thermos supply is running low.

Mimiru rolled her eyes. "There ARE no coffee dispensers in—" she started but Kurim covered her mouth.

"Uh… What Mimiru was saying is that we didn't see any coffee dispensers around here." Kurim shook his head and grinned all the while. "Nope. Nada. Zilch. We'll tell ya if you see any."

"Okay!" BT turned around. "Oh, hi Mireille!"

Kurim and Mimiru went wide-eyed. "RUN!" They both screamed and ran.

BT looked after them cluelessly. "What? It's only Mirelle," she said as a fireball whizzed past her head and set one of the dead bodies (Orca or Bear) on fire. "Okay, that can't be good."

"RUN, DAMN IT," Kurim screamed from afar.

"Oh, right." BT ran.

By the time BT caught up with the other two still living people, Kurim was at the window.

"Why is it that you can break the window but you can't fall out?" Kurim look out the broken window. "Nice view, though."

Mimiru decided to ignore him and run on. BT followed suit. Mireille came by the lone Kurim and whapped him over the head. Instead of getting the desired result of him falling to his death, Kurim fell against the invisible wall of a physically inaccurate boundary. Mireille kept bashing at him anyways. (It was fun.)

"We're close to the hill!" Mimiru shouted to BT. "Do you think it was okay to leave Kurim back there?"

"Yup!" BT was confident in her answer. "I gave him three of my coffee thermoses so if he keeps using them he should last a while."

……………………………………………………

"For the love of Hoerwick, Kurim!" Mireille cursed, still clubbing him, "Quit healing yourself!"

……………………………………………………

Whoosha, silver medallion! One step closer to ruling the WORLD. Ignore me and review.