I have resorted to typing whatever comes to my mind for this illogical fanfic and drawing stuff on the Paint program.
And apparently the humor factor needs improvement. Quite sorry. I'll go twirl around in circles until I scream for death and then eat the candy with the childproof caps containers.
Episode 6! Violence solves everything.
"Okay, now you're just running in circles." BT stopped for air.
"How do you know?" Mimiru also stopped.
BT pointed to the two dead bodies of Orca and Bear, both monochromatic, but only one of them was blacker than usual. Actually, he was just burned beyond normal restoration.
"Uh, which one's Bear?" Mimiru knelt by one. "I can't tell without their colors."
"Go by their face design."
"Ew, god, they're both face down (I think). I'm not touching their dead corpses! You touch them."
"What makes you think that because you don't want to touch them means that I won't mind?"
"Didn't you have a thing with Bear before?"
"Yeah, but not Orca!"
"Really? Considering how people who had things with, I would think you'd have one with him."
BT narrowed her eyes. "Duck!" she screamed.
Mimiru immediately ducked. Nothing happened, though. Nothing of what she expected anyways.
"Aw, what's a cute little duck doing here?" BT knelt down to pet the duck. Mimiru wondered the same.
"Oh, I just drew it now," said Subaru, who was standing at the end of the hall wield her axe in one hand and the magic pencil in the other.
"What's that ticking?" BT wondered aloud.
"Nothing. I just felt like adding a bomb to the duck's underside."
"WHAT!" BT kicked the duck bomb at Subaru. Both Mimiru and BT ran. Behind them they heard a boom. They stopped and waited for the smoke to clear. They saw a standing silhouette laughing. Subaru had drawn a line to deflect the explosion. Mimiru and BT ran for the hill near by. "You'd think that she'd have a fiery aura to go with that maniacal laugh."
Mimiru looked back while still running. "You just HAD to say that."
BT looked also and saw that Subaru was on fire though not burning. And her clothes had turned pink.
"In here! Up the tower! There's the briefcase!" Mimiru and BT scampered up into the balcony. "Shield, now!"
"Oh, no," BT refused. "Not until I get paid."
"Paid what!"
"Coffee. Duh."
Mimiru was at a loss, but she saw Subaru advancing. "Shield now, coffee later!"
"No."
"Damn it!" Mimiru bapped BT's head. "NOW."
BT shielded the door just before Subaru entered. Subaru pounded at the shield.
"Uh, Mimiru?" BT asked. "Can't Subaru just draw a hole in my magic shield?"
"Oh, say it out loud why don't you!"
Subaru drew ducks on BT's magic shield. They came to life, ticking all the while.
"Crud." Mimiru golfed at them using her blade as a club. The duck bombs exploded somewhere in midair off in the distance. One of them hit the ground below the balcony and exploded.
"AUGH! MY BEAUTIFUL WINGS!" Balmung screamed, horrified that his wings were damaged and blackened from the explosion. He took them off and held them high. "Subaru! Down here stat!"
Subaru was quick to obey. She was in front of Balmung in the blink of Mimiru's eye when she noticed Subaru ceased drawing duck bombs.
"Fix my wings," Balmung begged Subaru. Just as she was about to, BT shot a couple of bolts at them.
"Take that, bozos!" BT laughed. She stopped, though, as soon as Mireille ran out and shot up at the balcony base.
Mimiru and BT ducked for cover. "Wait a minute," Mimiru pondered. "Wasn't Mireille beating the crap out of Kurim? Where is he?"
Mireille and BT exchanged magic attacks. Mireille offered the explanation while doing so: "I finally killed Kurim, but because he was a dead body and therefore no longer an actual part of the game, he fell through the window."
"What! He's gone!"
Kurim fell from the sky and onto Mimiru. "What the hell," he muttered.
"Guess not. Get off me!" Mimiru shoved him off.
Kurim got up and observed the battlefield, which consisted of Mireille shooting at them with BT shooting right back and Subaru drawing Balmung's wings back. "Oh. My. GOD." Kurim leapt into the air over the balcony wall. "I'll save you Subaru!" He landed right by Balmung and Subaru.
"What's that bastard doing?" BT yelled.
"Committing suicide?" Mimiru dashed down the stairs to help. What she saw both horrified and amused her.
"You're not Subaru!" Kurim screamed. "You're a man!" He tugged at the alleged fake Subaru's hair. In that moment, he proved himself correct, pulling off the entire facemask. "Orca!"
"Damn it, I've been caught!" said Orca, still wearing the rest of the Subaru clothing. "… if it weren't for those meddling kids."
"Where's Subaru!" Kurim demanded, holding Orca by the neck.
"You don't need to know where Subaru is," a voice behind Kurim said. Before Kurim could turn around, Balmung brought his blade down on his head, spewing blood everywhere. He fell limp to the ground and turned monochromatic. "Dog eat dog world." Balmung chuckled.
"It sure is!" Mimiru screamed. She stabbed Balmung in his back. He too fell dead. "Teehee," Mimiru chuckled, blood stains all over her. She stared at Orca.
Orca was aghast as Mimiru took aim upon him with her blade. He scrambled out of his Subaru costume and ran away as Mimiru chased after him.
"What the heck," Ginkan said, eating potato salad. "When did Orca get the Subaru suit?"
"I guess he drew it after he respawned," Tsukasa concluded.
"That's some tight curves, I must admit," Sora commented.
"He drew it?"
"Yup." Tsukasa poked at her salad. "Subaru had to go to the bathroom so she let Orca borrow it."
A flushing sound came from the ladies' restroom. Subaru came out and sat by Tsukasa. "So what did I miss?"
"Oh, nothing," Sora sighed. "Just Balmung killing Kurim and Mimiru killing Balmung."
"That's just great. My team is losing."
Ginkan looked at her weirdly. "Aren't you going to go back in?"
"Nah. I need to eat."
"While Orca is getting chased by Mimiru!"
"Sure." Subaru turned to Tsukasa. "Going to finish your chicken?"
"Go ahead." Tsukasa handed her the plate.
They ,Sora, Ginkan, Subaru, Tsukasa, and the AMM gang, continued eating and watching the screen. So far Orca and Mimiru had gotten in a blade duel; BT and Mireille have resorted to summoning random animals at each other. "Oooh!" everyone shouted at the sight Mireille frying and blowing a turkey up into smithereens. Subaru immediately spat the bite of chicken leg she was chewing into a napkin and pushed away her plate.
BT ducked for cover as a cow flew over her head. Kurim came into the tower.
"Kurim!" BT exclaimed. "You've respawned!"
"Yeah," Kurim said. "But I have only two more lives left and a nasty headache. What did I miss?"
"Orca managed to stab Mimiru."
"That's nice. What's happening now?"
"Mireille hasn't died yet and still at it with the goats… or was that a cow? I always get those mixed up. When we were at the west tower, she set that on fire. That's why it's not there anymore and we moved the briefcase to this tower. Oh, do me a favor."
"What?"
BT handed Kurim the briefcase. "Guard this with your life." BT climbed out the tower and jumped, screaming, "BANZAI". She swung her staff at Mireille, who managed to dodge BT upon hearing her scream. A staff fight ensued between the wavemasters.
Kurim stood by in the tower watching. He sighed, "Cat fight. Can this get any better?" He blinked at the action below. "Wasn't that move in Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?" After a while, Kurim squinted. "Are they playing hockey with a shield? Dude! Don't leave me out!" Kurim jumped out the tower. "I wanna play hockey."
BT and Mireille immediately stopped. "Sorry, uh, it's not fair to play with uneven teams," BT said. Mireille stuck out her tongue.
"Ooh, you're just saying that because I'm a boy," Kurim whined. "We can play three teams! Let me play!" Kurim jumped up and down.
Mireille jumped in front of him. "No boys allowed!"
Kurim held his blade to Mireille's throat. "Let. Me. Play."
Mireille remained silent.
"What do you say now?"
Mireille rolled her eyes. "Ok, fine, you can play. You have to choose a team name, though."
Kurim set his weapon by his side. "Hm, a team name…"
"Yeah, something like VAK DON!"
Kurim was fried instantly on the spot. He revived in the tower where he left the briefcase.
"Phoo."
A ding sounded. The round ended.
And the light went out.
Subaru sighed. "I could use some udon."
"Why don't you cook it, then?" Ginkan suggested.
"Uh… good idea! Where's my pencil?"
"Doesn't Orca have it?"
She whapped her forehead. "Drats. I have to go back in and get it? Sheesh." Subaru started for the Nintendo 64 console but tripped over a cord. The jumbo screen went out, pitch black. Subaru saw her mistake, as did everyone else as they stared, surprised. "Whoops."
Maha floated up to see what happened exactly. ".. …."
"What?" Morgana and Aura asked.
"… ….. …. .. … ……. … …………"
"Oh, that's just great."
"Uh… that isn't going to affect them too much, right?" Ginkan asked.
Kurim stood in front of a Chaos Gate in a Dun Loireag-ish setting. "Mimiru? Can you logout?" He looked around. "Mimiru?" No Mimiru. "Great. I'm alone."
"No you're not," BT said in a sultry voice. She glomped him from behind. "You have me."
Kurim screamed
But then he woke up.
…in a Dun Loireag-ish setting, staring into BT's eyes.
"GET AWAY FROM ME," he cried.
"About time you've awoke," BT said. "Oi, Mireille! The ol' Lightning Bolt woke!"
Mireille ran to them. "Does the Chaos Gate work?"
BT shook her head.
"What happened?" Kurim asked.
"We got booted out of Area 52 and defaulted back to here."
"What about the people who died?" Kurim thought a moment. "What happened to Bear anyways? Was he AFK all this time?"
"Oh god, Brian!" Bear cried to the TV screen. "Don't kiss her! She's your long lost half-sister and has a boyfriend but is cheating on him with another woman! OH GOD DON'T DO IT!"
"To be continued," the TV announced. "Tune in on next week's 'Just Another Day'."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!21121!" Bear said while falling to his knees.
"Which outlet does it go into!" Ginkan cried.
"How am I supposed to know?" Subaru asked. "All I did was trip on one of them."
"… … … ……. .. .. …. …… … …. ….. …." Maha noted.
"How was I supposed to know that the cord I tripped over was the main power cord?"
"What's going to happen to the players inside?" Tsukasa asked.
Balmung and Orca appeared high in midair and fell down onto the stage.
Ginkan ran to them. "What happened in there?"
Balmung got up first, rubbing himself in places he bruised upon landing. "What do you mean? Didn't you guys have a screen? Why's it all black?"
"Subaru disconnected the main power cord."
"I tripped over it," Subaru corrected.
"What?" Balmung was oblivious. "Nothing really happened. I died and when I tried to revive I landed here."
"Same with me," Orca said. "What of Mimiru's team and Mireille?" He looked around. "Subaru? You didn't come back!"
"Uh, yeah," Subaru tried to say casually. "I got distracted."
"But… you said you were coming back…" Orca whimpered. "I thought we had something!"
"What!" Subaru looked frantically around and saw Tsukasa's eyes narrow. "What are you talking about? What makes you think that?"
"Uh…" Orca hesitated. "You said to me you were coming back after you went to the bathroom."
"That's it? Sheesh. Sorry, only Tsukasa."
Tsukasa blushed, supposing that was possible with her pale skin.
"By the way," Subaru remembered, "Got my pencil?"
Orca hung his head. "Uh…no."
"You do. Come on, give it."
"No."
"Give it!"
"NO!"
Subaru lunged for Orca's hand that was evidently holding the magic pencil. Orca held it back and ran around the room with Subaru running after him with her axe swinging at him.
"You old man! You're doing it all wrong!" Sora complained.
"What are you talking about?" Ginkan said.
"You didn't have to pull out all 50 of the cords!"
Ginkan looked at the empty outlets and the mess of cords. "Well, how else was I supposed to know which one Subaru tripped over?"
"By looking for any unused outlets! Subaru only disconnected one."
"I tripped over it! It was by accident!" Subaru screamed while still chasing Orca for her magic pencil.
Sora ignored that comment. "What is it about simple logic and technology that turns old people into even older idiots?"
"I'm 23, for your information!" Ginkan cried.
"That's old."
"Is not!"
Sora rolled his eyes. "Is too."
Ginkan's eyes narrowed into angry slits, but of course no one really knows that since he dons a helmet concealing his eyes. "Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Is not."
"Is too."
Ginkan slapped Sora. "I'm not old."
Sora stared at him, rubbing his face.
"Oh, did I make you cry, baby?" Ginkan mocked. "I'm soww—"
Sora punched him. "You old stupid geezer!
"Oh, that's it!" Ginkan took out his sword.
Sora unsheathed his blades and jumped high into the air. Ginkan followed suit. They both flew at each other, their blades poised to strike. At the last moment they went into slow motion. The background immediately changed into rapidly moving lines until both got close to each other enough to hit each other. A giant spark light ignited from their weapons locking. Both ricocheted back from the blow. Ginkan landed his feet against a wall and jumped off, flying towards Sora. Sora jumped off a column and dodged Ginkan's swing. Ginkan hit instead the column, which broke into two and fell crumbling to the ground.
Orca and Subaru had long stopped their own chase when Ginkan and Sora started exchanging what they thought of Ginkan's age and with Tsukasa and Balmung sat down at a table and ate popcorn. Everyone's heads in unison followed Sora and Ginkan as they flew around
"Who do you think's gonna win?" Orca asked. He grabbed a handful of popcorn.
"Sora," Balmung stated mouth full. "Definitely Sora. Ginkan's a total black 'n' white arrogant idiot."
"I don't think he's that bad," Subaru commented.
"That's because he sucked up to you until Tsukasa came along. He thought you went soft."
"Is it my fault Tsukasa's so adorable?"
"If I was adorable, you'd make me purple cherry pie," Tsukasa said.
"Of course I wouldn't. You'll get addicted again."
"No I won't. Please?" Tsukasa made puppy eyes.
"Oh, okay," Subaru succumbed. She got up. "Tell me how it ends, okay?" She left for the kitchen.
Tsukasa set up a camera on a tripod and began filming. When Ginkan and Sora saw the camera running they immediately halted in midair.
"What are you doing!" Ginkan demanded.
"Uh, filming you," Tsukasa said.
"You can't do that without our permission!"
"I'm going to be a star!" Sora shouted and did a pose. "Film me, hun."
"Hey!" Ginkan yelled at Sora. "Well, I'm not up for this! I'm suing you, Tsukasa." He threw a piece of paper aimed at Tsukasa. It floated onto the stage away from the desired target. "Sora, go pick it up."
"What? No way, old man. Go crack your dying back and pick it up yourself."
"Why you little—" their battle resumed.
Tsukasa went over and picked the paper up. "Ginkan's filing a lawsuit against me for violating his privacy? All I did was try record them."
"I SUE THEE!" Ginkan cried, pointing a shaky finger at Tsukasa while flying around the room trying to get his hands about Sora's neck for much much strangling.
Balmung noticed something. "No one's trying to get the cords back in order?"
Orca shrugged.
"Maybe we should do something.
Orca said, "Nah."
"I wonder what will happen to those guys still in there…"
"What guys?" Mimiru asked. She seemed to pop out of nowhere for them, but apparently she was standing there the whole time since Balmung and Orca came.
Balmung turned around. "Oh, just Kurim, BT, and Mireille. How did you get back?"
"Oh, I tried to revive but ended up in building DL. Used a sprite ocarina to come here since the gates didn't work."
"No one has an effun sprite ocarina!" Kurim yelled.
"No. It didn't hold my coffee very well," BT said, holding out a dripping and sparking sprite ocarina.
"What about you, Mireille?"
"Uh," Mireille thought a bit. "I thought they were ducks, and let me tell you, they don't cook well."
"Great," BT sighed. "We're in the same spot as Tsukasa."
"What!" Kurim cried. "I refuse to be anything like Tsukasa!"
"…maybe if you were, you'd have a much better chance with Subaru," BT commented.
"… I will remember that, BT," Kurim seethed between his teeth. "LET ME OUT!" he screamed at the Chaos Gate and began kicking it. "Work! Damn! It! Work! Work! Work!" He turned around. "Help me get this working… where did you guys go?"
"BT!" Ginkan said. "And Mireille! How did you get back from Area 52?"
BT dusted herself off. "While Kurim kept kicking the gate, the Chaos Gate suddenly turned on and we logged out."
"What of Kurim, then?"
"Who?"
I swear I can make it funny again. (nods) Let me just take these miracle pills and review please. :D
