June 2017, Wakanda.
Bucky wasn't a stranger to the feeling.
He had felt it all the time during the war - longing to be back home, longing for warmth, for familiarity, for his mother and his sisters, for Steve.
He hadn't felt it for a long time, though. Hadn't longed for anything for years - that he could remember, anyway. But Bucky longed for things now. His freedom. The ability to right every wrong he'd ever made. To not feel the guilt eating away at him every second of the day. Her.
He longed for her the most.
When he would wake up screaming in the night, when he would sit outside in the sun alone, he longed to have her beside him. To reach out and touch her, his fingers brushing against the back of her hand.
He knew it was wrong, knew he shouldn't be feeling the way he was because they were just friends. She was Steve's girl. His best friend's girl, yet Bucky couldn't get her off his mind. Somehow, out of everything he'd done over the years, the guilt he felt over betraying Steve ran deeper than anything else.
And yet he still couldn't help himself. He couldn't stop his mind from drifting to her, to Jasmine, on the nights when sleep failed to claim him.
He supposed it was bound to happen sooner or later, maybe he should have expected it. Jasmine had become a constant in his life, always at the other end of a phone and asking about his day, telling her about hers and making him laugh with the ridiculous code names she kept coming up with for Steve, Nat, and Sam. She had taken to visiting him in Wakanda to keep an eye on him - a request from Steve, Bucky knew - and she spent all of her time with him when she was there.
It had been three months since her last visit. His birthday, and Bucky still couldn't believe she had travelled all that way just to make sure he wasn't alone. That was when he had realised the way he was beginning to feel about her and he had debated keeping her at arm's length, telling her it wasn't safe for her to be around him so much - sure, Shuri had 'fixed' him for now, but what if something else happened and he put Jasmine in danger? What if he hurt her? He should have told her months ago not to come back.
Ultimately, he hadn't been strong enough to do that and now he was eagerly, selfishly, awaiting her return.
He had never known anything quite like it; unrequited love. He'd never had a problem getting a woman's attention (apart from that time he tried to hit on Peggy when she not so subtly ignored him because she only had eyes for Steve, so he was told), from the little he could remember, the stories he'd heard and the things Steve had told him, Bucky had been quite the charmer back before the war. Always had a date, always had a girl on his arm - sometimes two - never short of admirers or offers.
This felt different, though. He was certain Jasmine would never feel the same way about him as he did about her, not when she had someone like Steve Rogers waiting to be with her.
He was sort of glad that Steve couldn't visit him, because one look at Bucky and he would know. Know that Bucky had fallen hook, line and sinker for the same girl he had, and Bucky wasn't ready for that kind of conversation just yet - not that he thought he ever would be.
Bucky let his head fall back against the wall, sighing heavily and glancing to his left.
"She will be here soon, Sergeant Barnes," Shuri told him, the corners of her mouth lifting in amusement as she kept her eyes on the screen in front of her.
"I didn't say anything."
"You didn't need to," Shuri hummed in reply. "I can feel the anticipation in the air. It's rolling off you in waves."
"I think that might be anxiety, actually," Bucky frowned.
"Whatever it is," Shuri turned to face him. "It will get better when she gets here. It always does," she sent him a grin, and Bucky scoffed. "She means a lot to you."
"Sure," he shrugged. "She's my friend."
"She is more than that."
Bucky paused. "She's my friend."
"Captain Rogers is your friend," Shuri pointed a finger at him, before turning back to her screen. "And yet, I don't see him coming to visit you. He knows he would be safe here, but the one who keeps coming, who keeps staying, is her. You mean a lot to her, too."
"Like I said. Friends."
Shuri rolled her eyes. "She has become a constant in your life. You miss her when she isn't here."
"You talkin' about me, Shuri?"
Bucky scrambled to get to his feet when he heard her voice and he almost laughed at himself, the stealthy ex-assassin turning into a bumbling, clumsy idiot at the sight of a girl he had been insisting was just his friend only seconds earlier. Jasmine grinned at him, dumping her bag on the floor and wiggling her fingers in a wave as she moved to give Shuri a hug.
"Agent James."
She rolled her eyes. "Shuri, please, please just call me Jas like I've asked you a thousand times. Agent James sounds so formal, especially when I'm on vacation."
Shuri smiled. "Sergeant Barnes and I were just talking about you."
"I figured!" Jas turned to Bucky, opening her arms. "Bring it in, Barnes," she told him, and he rolled his eyes but smiled good-naturedly as he let her pull him into a hug. "So you missed me, huh, Buck?"
"Yeah," he whispered, slipping his arm around her waist and avoiding Shuri's gaze when she raised her eyebrows knowingly. "I did."
This is my first attempt at writing Bucky, and my first time posting an actual fic in YEARS. These one-shots/drabbles are just a little prequel to a fic I have planned for the Falcon and the Winter Soldier series. Let me know what you think!
Becca
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