cheerio my deario

(By archy the cockroach)

Warnings: rabid fangirls

Disclaimer: same as usual


a heluva comedown
that is for me archy
she says a few
brief centuries
ago one of old
king
tut
ankh
amens favorite
queens and today
the village scavenger
but wotthehell
archy wotthehell
its cheerio
my deario that
pulls a lady through
Three days. Three FREAKING days had passed, and Kyou was about ready to kill himself. Yuki had decided to keep the charade going on at home (with much threatening to Kyou), and Tohru had kept collecting money from all the members of the Sohma family.

It was horrible.

And plus, the entire school knew now, and the cat couldn't miss the odd stares he had been getting from some of the male students/teachers; it was unnerving. And it was equally scary acting like Yuki's lover.

Yuki was controlling, constantly threatening him, constantly grumpy and not to mention a big fat liar. He acted all grabby and 'lovey dovey' around Kyou, but behind everyone's backs he was still the same cat-hater as usual.

And the worst part of it all was they were now sharing a bedroom.

Now, how that came to be was on the second afternoon, Yuki and (a very unwilling) Kyou were putting on their usual act. Yuki was all touchy-feely, cuddling with Kyou whenever he got the opportunity. Shigure commented on how they should get a room. Tohru then said that they should share rooms to be closer to each other. Yuki all-too-willingly obliged. And not to mention that Yuki made Kyou sleep on the floor.

Now, Kyou was sitting in school; detention, for fighting with another student and ultimately punching him in the nose. It was really the other guy's fault. The teacher had momentarily been called out, and he was left alone.

Anyway, Kyou's 15 minute detention was almost over, and the cat had been going over the issues in his life. But all the while he sat in the room; he couldn't shake off the feeling that someone was watching him.

"Yuki stealer…"

The solitary voice echoed over the empty classroom. The red-head glanced around. Nobody was there.

"Um, is somebody there?" Kyou asked back cautiously. Suddenly, the feeling of cloth rubbed over the cat's eyes and his vision disappeared. He was roughly dragged out of his chair, and forced to crash his head onto a desk. He blacked out.

"Uhnn… my head…"

"Shhh, shh, he's awake!"

"Wha…? Where am I? Who is this? Why is everything black? Why can't I move my arms?"

"Because you're tied up."

"Well then… WHY the HELL am I tied up?"

"You stole Yuki from us, you Yuki stealer/man whore!"

"Ff, you can have him back for all I care."

"And you're his cousin! It's INCEST! Gross!"

"SO WHAT?"

"But I heard that in Texas they-"

"Man whore?"

"Shut your mouth! Now, us Yuki Fangi- Erm, us 'People' are going to tell you to keep away from our Yuki! Nyah!"

"I told you; YOU CAN HAVE HIM!"

"Huh? Why doesn't he want Yuki?"

"Because he never wakes up in the mornings, he's a friggin' slave driver, he's really bitchy and I hate him!"

"Then why are you with him? Just leave him for us!"

"I will! He's not even my-"

SMASH.

"What are you doing to MY boyfriend?"

"Erm, Prince Yuki!"

"Get away from him. NOW."

There was a loud crash of doors and a scuffle of feet and Kyou could see again.

"ARGH, the light!" shouted Kyou, suddenly able to see, as Yuki took the blindfold off of him. "What the hell happened? Where am I? Why am I tied to this goddamn chair?" The cat rocked the chair back and forth to prove his point.

"Apparently, you were kidnapped," said Yuki, not bothering to undo Kyou's bindings… just yet.

There was an awkward silence between the two for a moment, as either one contemplated what to say. Yuki walked over to the wide window that looked out at the school yard.

"Am I really a 'friggin' slave driver', as you say?" asked Yuki, his voice flat.

"Hell yes. You boss me around like there's no tomorrow," said Kyou, rubbing his fingers over the duct tape that was used to bond his wrists.

"Well, you deserve it," said Yuki, still gazing out the window.

"I do not! The next thing you'll be sayin' is that I'm the woman in this 'gay' relationship!"

"…"

"Say something you damn rat!"

"I told them that. You are the woman in this relationship," said Yuki, a malevolent grin spreading across his face. Kyou paled.

"No freaking way. You have the girly face. You've dressed up like a girl. You are the girl."

"But who always wins the fights? Who could wipe you across the floor if you don't be the girl?" Yuki and Kyou glared daggers at each other for a moment. "And, I could always leave you here…"

Kyou contemplated this for a moment. Be stuck in a classroom for the rest of the night, or go home with Yuki. And plus, the annoying Fangirls could be back. "Fine… you win," said Kyou, bowing his head in defeat.

"I knew you'd see it my way," said Yuki, walking to the door. "Come on." He exited the classroom.

"You forgot to untie me!"

"So… being the girl, how am I supposed to act?" said Kyou, rubbing his wrists where the duct-tape had been.

"I don't know… like Tohru?" said Yuki. He really didn't have any idea, either. But after saying that suggestion, he got this odd little image of Kyou in a sailor suit bustling around in the kitchen like the aforementioned girl, and thus had to try to stop himself from laughing.

"Are you sneezing or something?" said Kyou, annoyance spiking his voice. Yuki regained his composure and shook his head. "Anyway, because all girls sort of act the same" –the Cat put on a stupid grin and crossed his eyes- "OOOOH, chocolate! I LOOOOVE chocolate" –grin faded- "But I can't eat it 'cause I'll get fat." The grin returned. "But I LOOOOOVE it SOOOOO much!"

Yuki had to stifle laughter again, while Kyou rolled his eyes.

"And they think everything is cute!" stated the Cat, crossing his eyes again, "OOOH, it's a STICK! Isn't it SOOOO kyoooot! AWWW, LOOKIE! A sidewalk! SOOOO adora-bibble!"

"You're definitely suited for the woman," said Yuki, giving another smirk.

"Like, oh my god, no way."


and the next chapter is UP and archy is a happy 'roach, she is. ;D wheeee.

mmmm... cheese burritos... WITH CHEESE

oh, and this chapter's title comes from when i went to visit my friend's church. some lady was asking what you needed in life to be perfect. i was thinking about momiji. so i said, "you need a rabbit to be perfect."

yeah.