Disclaimer #1- I don't own Harry Potter.
Disclaimer #2- Flamers don't own me.
Some people need to learn that there's a fine line between honest and classless. If you don't want Ron to Die, STOP READING RIGHT NOW. If you keep reading, don't comment on how this plot is stupid, immature or a waste of time.
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January 5th
Pants? Check.
Shirt? Check.
Tie? Check.
Shoes. Damn, forgot again.
Ron Weasley ran from the Gryffindor common room back to his dormitory. He got down on his stomach and reached under the bed, trying to find a pair of shoes. His labors were rewarded, as he stood up, a pair of brown uniform shoes in hand. After slipping them on, he had one of his very common brain lapses.
There was only one solution when Ron forgot how to tie his shoes.
"HERMIONE!" He yelled coming down once more into the common room. "'Mione I forgot again."
"Honestly Ron! You can be so immature. You don't see Harry-" The know-it-all started, but the sentence was to go unfinished as a voice was heard on the stairs leading into the room.
"HERMIONE! I need help with my tie!"
As Harry got into the room, wearing an untied tie around his neck and a frustrated look, the portrait hole slammed shut, leaving two rather confused looking boys alone.
"Did I say something?" Inquired the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Annoy-Us-All.
"I don't bloody know." Replied the Boy-Who-Wasn't-Important-Enough-For-A-Title. "Did we do anything differently from yesterday?"
Flashback to Yesterday
"HERMIONE! I forgot how to tie my shoes."
"Not again Ron! You're going to have to remember sometime."
"HERMIONE! I need help with my tie!"
End flashback
"Nope, we didn't do anything different. If we're not the problem, it must just be her."
"She really shouldn't have lashed out on us."
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Hermione didn't come to breakfast. In classes, she sat as far away from the boys as possible, even opting to sit with Crabbe in Potions. She left as soon as the bell rang, and didn't show up at lunch either.
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By dinner, Harry and Ron had given up looking for Hermione.
"Does your pumpkin juice taste a little strange Harry?"
"Yeah, it does. The elves must have had some mulling spices left over from New Years." Concluded the red head.
"Those are some bloody horrible mulling spices then." Replied Harry, pushing away hid juice. "I think I'll just have water.
"Suit yourself." Said Ron.
Having forgotten all about the events that morning, Harry and Ron were shocked to see Hermione strut into the Great Hall, a triumphant look on her face. It was actually quite frightening, really.
"So ends the Boy-Who-Lived and his sidekick! Their deaths-" Hermione's obviously well thought out and no doubt moving speech was cut short, mainly owning to the fact that her eye happened to catch Harry and Ron sitting at the Gryffindor table.
They weren't dead. That in itself wasn't so bad, but it was the fact that they were alive that royally pissed off Hermione.
"You…you didn't drink all your pumpkin juice did you?" She ended almost meekly, her whole plans falling to pieces before her eyes.
Harry's eyes opened wide (both literally and metaphorically). He stared at Hermione with newfound remorse and fear. There was now no question as to why the pumpkin juice tasted a bit off.
Ron however, didn't fully comprehend the situation.
"Bloody Hell Hermione! You don't have to scream like that. Look, I'll finish the juice if you'll shut up and come sit with us." To prove his point, Ron drained his goblet and smiled at Hermione invitingly.
He received a smile in return; a smirk to be more accurate. Ron gave her a questioning look, but all of a sudden his eyes shoot wide open. Several choking noises escaped from his lips, and his face turned a rather unfetching shade of blue.
The Great Hall was silent, for once, as the entire population of Hogwarts watched the drama unfold. Snape in particular looked quite amused. He watched for a few moments, genuinely interested at Mr. Weasley's face turned different shades of blue.
"Poppy," He asked, nudging the woman next to him "Are you going to help or should I call St. Mungos?"
This comment jolted Madame Pomfrey back to reality. Embarrassed by her momentary lack of judgment, she bustled down the hall to Mr. Weasley side.
"Try to breathe Mr. Weasley!" She cried.
"I don't think your helping." Came a silky voice from behind her.
"I know perfectly well what I'm doing, Severus. Don't you have some glory to go brew?" The mediwitch shot back.
"Very funny Poppy, but I suggest you turn your attention back to the matter at hand. I don't believe a death would be good way to start a new year. Do you?"
Madame Pomfrey looked for a moment as if she might reply, but wisely decided against it. Much to her immediate joy, but upon further thought, dismay, Ron's face had turned back to its original color.
"Oh, dear." Shouldn't he have blinked by now? The answer was obviously yes. Still, Madame Pomfrey held Ron's head in her hands, willing those eyes to flutter, or that mouth to twitch. She needed to know he wasn't…
"He's dead."
When she could no longer stall no longer, she announced the news to the eager students.
The Great Hall was silent, until somewhere, a single sound, a single person could be heard. That person was Hermione Granger, and the sound was laughter.
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Hermione Granger is currently in Azkaban prison, awaiting her trial. Fortunatley, Madame Pomfrey was able to keep her job. Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Wouldn't-Die saved the world, defeated Voldemort, blah, blah, blah.
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Yay! He died again! Thank you to all the people who reviewed chapter 4! I think I like having Hermione be the villain. It's really fun to make her snap. Review button is on the left. Click it and like a magic, a little screen will pop up and you can share with me your inner most thoughts about this story. Ohh! It's magic.
If you like death or anime or you want to read something and want to take suggestions, read "I will be chained" by "NeverendingDarkness"
