PROLOGUE
25/05/2016
"So that's how it ends?"
She just blurted it out, without thinking. It was like her brain had stopped functioning, or more like it was about to crash. She kept seeing this one image of the last time she saw him. Over and over again.
Miller looked up at her, his eyes full of sadness.
"Yeah, I think so," he said.
There was something else in Miller's eyes, Clarke noticed. He hadn't made eye contact with her the whole way to the airport. Was it… regret? Anger?
She wondered what he could see in her eyes.
"Nobody wanted this to happen," he sighed.
Clarke held back her tears. She'd been crying so much these last few days. She had to stay strong or she would collapse for good. She tried to get him out of her head for a second, just to take a breath, calm down. But apparently, she couldn't even do that.
"I know."
Once again, Miller looked away. For a moment, only silence remained between them. They couldn't do or say anything. Clarke was enjoying this moment, in a way. Because she knew that from the very moment Miller left, it would officially be the end of one of the happiest times of her life. Also, having him here, with her, felt like he wasn't completely gone yet. Even if she was the one leaving.
She saw Miller straighten. That's it, she thought.
"Then… goodbye," he let out, voice tight.
Clarke wasn't sure she could talk anymore, a flow of emotions threatening to bust out of her at any moment. She only managed to shake her head. She'd been trying to prepare herself for the idea of being left behind, all alone. But it already hurt so much, she couldn't bear to watch Miller driving way. So, she turned her back on him first and started walking, eyes focused on the airport's gates. Get it over with. I can't resist any longer.
"And Clarke?" Miller called.
She stopped and hesitated. She was so, so exhausted. She should go and never look back. It was the right thing to do. Nothing was going to change, no matter what Miller was about to say. She was not going to come back to life. He was not going to remember… everything.
But Clarke turned around one last time, already regretting it, because she still had fucking hope. Because it couldn't end like that.
"Don't come back."
And her last sprig of hope died.
But Clarke barely reacted to those three words. She just stood there, on the sidewalk, looking at him.
Then Miller got into his car, and for a pretty long time she watched that one red car moving far away from her, completely numb. When the car disappeared, Clarke finally felt that feeling of loneliness she had been dreading. It was like her entire world had just fallen apart and she just had been a witness, nothing that she could've done would've prevent the tragedy from happening. Still, she was the one who was held responsible for that. But maybe it truly was her fault, maybe she shouldn't have come here in the first place. Maybe she was better this way, as a forgotten memory.
