Disclaimer: I still don't own anything that belongs to Mr. Tolkien.

A/N: Sorry to all the Anonymous Reviewers! I didn't realize I had anonymous reviews disabled. I feel bad now. Please forgive me! It's enabled now so review and make up for the reviews that you had for chapter one…please?

Anyways, thanks a bunch to all of my reviewers so far! You rock and I would name you all and respond to your reviews, but I don't think that's allowed anymore, which is stupid if you ask me. Keep it up!

Okay. I'm going to stop using exclamation points cause it makes me feel like a dumb blond. (No offense to blonds!)

Song for the Chapter: My Favorite Accident by Motion City Soundtrack. (This one actually fits the chapter and I love it too! Argh, another exclamation point. Crap.)

You said we were an accident

With accidents you never know what could happen

So we were an accident

You'll always be my favorite one


Chapter Two

"Where am I!" The man asked-or rather demanded.

"Where are you?" I scoffed, "You're the one robbing my house, you should know!" His blue eyes flashed dangerously.

"Do not try my patience," His grip on my wrist tightened painfully and I did all I could from crying out. "Where am I?"

"Philadelphia! Let go!" He let go and I rubbed my wrists. He looked at me like I was crazy, which might not be too far from the truth, but I wasn't the one breaking into random apartments.

"I have not heard of this… Philer-delpia."

"Then you must be on drugs."

"Drugs?"

What is this guy's problem? I thought. I noticed his clothes for the first time. They were very renaissance faire-esque. Forest green tunic, leggings, the works. He even had a bow and a quiver of arrows strapped to his back. Definitely weird.

"You don't know what drugs are? And you don't know what Philadelphia is?" I stared disbelieving at the man as he shook his head, "Where have you been?"

"I was in Greenwood and then, all of a sudden, I found myself here."

What was a Greenwood? "You're serious?"

"Yes." He nodded vigorously.

"Then I'm calling the police." I quickly picked up the phone and almost started dialing 911 when I felt the cold steel of a blade against my throat.

"I have already dealt with these…puh-leese you speak of, and I do not wish to meet them again." The knife was pressed harder against my throat.

"Fine." I said as I put down the phone, "I won't call them." The blade left my throat and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Please," His face softened as he noticed my reaction, "I mean you no harm, I would just like to go home."

"Where do you live?" I asked. I decided that this guy suffered from amnesia, so I thought if I kept the conversation going, I just might find out.

"As I have said before, Greenwood."

"Where is Greenwood? I've never heard of it before."

"It's in Rhovanion, just north of Dol Guldur."

"Where's that?" I asked. Siberia, maybe?

"On the eastern side of the Misty Mountains…?" He eyed me with that 'you're-as-crazy-as-two-crazy-things' look.

"And the Misty Mountains are where?"

"In Middle Earth?"

Middle Earth? That definitely could not be right. Middle Earth was fictional…from a poem by Vikings or something…what the crap?

"You do not know of Middle Earth?"

"Uh….no."

"You are very odd."

"Me? Odd?" I laughed, "Oh no, I'm the perfectly sane one here. I do not claim that I hail from some fictional place made up by Vikings."

"What are Vikings?"

"Dear Lord, you must be on some kind of drug," I muttered. "Wait a minute. You said you had a run in with the police? What did you do?"

"Nothing! I told you, I was in the forests of my home and I felt strange…and found myself in a very odd place. This loud noise echoed through the building I was in and soon, a voice said, 'This is the police, come out with your hands in the air!' so I ran out the window. I came in through that window over there and you woke up so I hid in the closet."

"Great. Could this night get any weirder?" That's when I noticed his ears. They were pointed. "Hey, what the deal with your ears?"

"What do you mean?" He arched an eyebrow, "They are quite fine."

"No, they're pointy."

"Yes, that's how they're supposed to be."

"Well that must suck," I don't normally have conversations with he people who try to rob my house, but I felt like I was missing something and I wanted to know what it was. "You must've gotten so much crap for it. Did people call you elf boy when you were younger or something?"

"Nay, that would not have bothered me."

"Why?" And then, he said it…

"Because I am an elf."

"What?" I just stared at him, gaping. He had to be kidding. "You're not serious… are you?"

"I am."

"No you're not. There's no way you can be."

"But I am." He said, "Are you feeling well?"

"NO. I should be asking YOU that question. Elves don't exist, buddy. Besides, if you really are an elf, you'd be a lot shorter and live in the north pole."

"I am an elf. And I do not know what has led you to believe that elves are short, but I can assure you, they are not."

"Well, if you really are an elf, prove it."

"I know not how."

"Do something that an elf can do, but a human can't." I waited, but he didn't move. "Well?"

"I would think my ears would be proof enough."

"There's this thing we can do now, called plastic surgery, where you can alter almost any part of your body."

"That can not be possible."

"Well it is here. Just ask Pam Anderson."

"Where is this Pam Anderson so that I may ask her?" He looked at me with the most serious look I have ever seen on anyone's face.

"Never mind, just think of something else." He stood for a moment, unsure of what to do. I thought I had caught him, until he produced his knife. He held it to his arm and, before I could stop him, drew blood. He didn't even wince.

"What are you doing? Wait here, I'll-" My eyes widened as I watched the wound heal itself in less than ten seconds. It was like the wound just disappeared. There wasn't a single trace of anything on his arm. "What the hell…"

"Is that proof enough?"

"Who are you?" I asked, still staring at his arm.

"Legolas Thranduillion, of Greenwood the Great." He bowed slightly, and I just stood there. That name meant nothing to me.

"Okay…what?"

"Legolas."

"Leggerlaz?"

"Leg. O. Las."

"Legolas?"

"Yes."

"Right…would you like something to drink?" I pulled a water bottle out from the fridge. Oh God. I was offering drinks to elves.

"Nay, I am fine lady…Marmalade?" I coughed on my drink.

"What did you call me?"

"Lady Marmalade. I meant no offense, it is on your shirt." I looked down. I forgot that I was wearing the XX-L Marmalade shirt that just covered my belly Kate got me. It was one of those shirts with the double meanings.

"It's just that…there's this song and…on, forget it. It doesn't matter. But my name's not Marmalade. It's Diana."

"I am sorry if I have offended you, lady Diana."

"You don't have to call me lady either."

"If you wish…" He gave me another look. I'M NOT THE CRAZY ONE!


That night, I couldn't sleep. There was a complete stranger in my living room, sleeping on my couch. Why was he sleeping on my couch? I don't know. He didn't seem to be dangerous at all. And the whole elf thing…well, I guess I am crazy cause after the whole disappearing wound thing, I believed him.

He-or Legolas-didn't really seem that dangerous at all. I agreed to let him stay until he could find a way home. I just didn't get the feeling that he was evil. And I hoped to God I wasn't wrong. Eventually though, I fell asleep.

I walked out into the kitchen that morning, and was a little startled to find Legolas staring out the window. But once the events of the previous night came flooding back to me, I calmed down …a little.

"I guess we can go out and buy you clothes today." I yawned, rather unattractively, "People around here would think you're crazy to wear clothes like that."

"If we must," Legolas looked a little apprehensive, "Those…police won't be looking for me, will they?"

"Not at the mall," I assured him, "Besides, I'll give you a good disguise."

"What's a mall?"

I got in to my car, but Leggy…well, he almost looked frightened.

"What's the matter?"

"What is this…thing?" he asked.

"It's called a car. It takes you places." I opened the door for him, "Get in." Finally, he got into the car. "You have to put on the seatbelt." I showed him how and then we were off.

Legolas seemed to enjoy the car ride actually. He pressed all the buttons and tried to stick his head out the window, all those things children do. After a while he got used to traffic. He turned his attention to me.

"You are with child." He said.

No, really?

"Yup."

"Who is the father?"

"An asshole."

"What is an asshole?"

"Never mind."


"This is a mall." I said. We were standing in the middle of the mall. The food places and carts with scarves, necklaces, and other such things crowded the area. We walked past them, down to a store called Needles and Threads.

"Wait here," I told him. "I'll be right back." I walked to the back of the store to where the counter was. Dave was standing behind it, reading a magazine. Kate and Dave opened a store together in the mall. It was kind of small, but they had some of the best clothes and I got a discount.

"Hey, what up, D-Dawg?"

"Long story…is Kate around?"

"In the back." I walked behind the counter to the back room. Kate was organizing some stock. "Hey Kate."

"What're you doing here?"

"I need to buy some clothes…for this guy."

"Ooohh…who is he?"

"You would never believe me."

"Oh? Try me."

"Okay…Legolas."

"What?"

"I told you…" I sighed. "Look, you have to believe me."

"It's not possible! Legolas is a fictional character from those books…are you feeling sick or something?" Kate put her hand to my forehead and I brushed it away.

"I'm. Not. Crazy."

"Whatever, so where's this guy?"

"Out front. C'mon." I pointed to our elf friend, who was inspecting the shelves of t-shirts curiously. I let him wear a pair of my sweat pant and my sweatshirt. All my other clothes were too small or too big.

"Well…he does look like him. But still, how do you know for sure?"

"He took out his knife, cut his arm, and the cut healed itself almost instantly." Kate's eyes went wide.

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Are you kidding?"

"I kid you not."

"Whoa."

"So…how 'bout some clothes?"


A/N: Yay! Another chapter down. Go me. Anyways, I've decided on a sequel to the story, so when that's up, CHECK IT OUT.

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