Two words: Moving Sucks.

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You Never Know Who's Listening

Chapter Two: Male Bonding and the Uses of Duct Tape.

Bright and early the next morning a redhead and a blackhead went on a train. Er, I mean a guy with red hair and a girl with black. Meanwhile, Aoshi played hard-to find. Ya know, he would've had more luck had his only hiding spot not been the temple. Anyway. Enough of my craziness.

"Aoshi-san!" Shirojirou ran into the temple. Aoshi broke his meditation and stood, facing the huffing and puffing ninja.

"Report." Dangit, old habits died hard! He wasn't supposed to be the Okashira anymore.

"Himura and Kamiya's train just arrived. Okina's calling every one back to the Aoiya to greet them." Aoshi grimaced, making sure Shirojirou couldn't see him. (He had his reputation to maintain)

"I take it I'm on the welcoming committee. That's just joyful. I'll be there shortly." The other ninja was gaping at him. "What?"

"Aoshi-san, I think that's the most I've ever heard you say in one day, let alone at one time!" Aoshi tried really hard not to sigh.

"I'm feeling talkative." He said dryly.

"It shows, Aoshi-san." He left. Aoshi sighed and braced himself for the meeting to come.

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When he got to the Aoiya a bit later, he saw Misao was wearing that horrid kimono again. He almost groaned as he took his place in the group. Misao turned to him.

"We got a pigeon, they're almost here! Isn't that great, Aoshi-sama?"

"Just peachy." Misao giggled.

"You're funny when you're talkative, Aoshi-sama! I- Oh! Theretheyaretheretheyare!" She went running down the road to tackle the two figures who had walked up.

"Ororororororo…"

"HIMURA! GREAT TO SEE YOU! YOU TOO, KAORU!" Aoshi winced. How could so small a body house such a big voice? The now-threesome walked closer, dissolving into a red-haired, scar faced guy with a sword, a black-haired, mean tempered tanuki/girl with a shinai, and, well, Misao.

"So, Himura, whadya think of my kimono?" Misao asked, twirling to give him a full view.

"It's, er, certainly quite colorful, de gozaru." He said tactfully. Kaoru nodded.

"Yup. Mine's better, though." She commented thoughtfully.

"What? No way! I looked for months to find this one!" She glanced wickedly in Aoshi's direction. He knew what was coming. "Aoshi-sama doesn't like it though, do you, Aoshi-sama?"

He didn't even try to block what he knew was coming. "No. The colors don't look good on you, Misao. With your coloring you look better in blues and greens, not to mention there are too many colors on that kimono. Personally, I think it's rather ugly." Okina, Misao, Okon, Omasu, Shirojirou, Kurojirou, Kenshin and Kaoru gaped at him. "What?"

"Th- th- th- thirty- six…" Misao whispered. "Wow." And they stood a while, staring at Aoshi. Kaoru snapped out of it first.

"Misao, I want to show you my kimono." Kaoru took a step toward the door.

"Uh. Oh. Oh, yeah!" Misao and Kaoru walked inside, followed by the other members of the Oniwabanshu, Kyoto district. That left him and Battousai alone. The perfect time. He cleared his throat, startling Kenshin out of a daze.

"Oro?" Aoshi shifted his weight, feeling uncomfortable.

"Er, have you… did you, uh, I mean… you… I- It's nothing." He mumbled. Kenshin turned the full power of his violet gaze on the taller man.

"It can't be nothing if it is weighing so heavily on your mind, Aoshi, nor would you waste money on train tickets for nothing. Nothing also isn't considered urgent." There went Battousai's silver tongue again. "Is there a place for us to talk undisturbed? Sessha has a feeling this will take a while, de gozaru."

Aoshi nodded glumly. "The temple." Kenshin nodded and stuck his head into the Aoiya.

"Kaoru?" There was a call from the back. "Aoshi and I will be at the temple. We may be gone a while, alright?" Another call, and Kenshin pulled his head back. "That's settled. Lead the way."

Once inside the temple, the two men sat down.

Silence.

This is crazy! If I'm wrong, he's going to think I've gone nuts! Even more nuts than last time. At least I didn't have hallucinations of weird girls who curse people. But I think I'm really going to go nuts if I don't figure this out.

"I, uh, heard you and the Kamiya girl are together now." Aoshi started hesitantly.

"Aa." Curse him, he wasn't making this easy. One line answers are supposed to be my department! Aoshi thought.

"Did you have… some help?"

"Oro? Help? What do you mean?"

Grr. Here we go. "I mean a crazy girl with purple eyes and blonde buns? Did you see her?" Kenshin narrowed his eyes, thinking.

"Sessha may know who you are talking about. Why? Did you meet her?"

"Yes." He wanted to give away as little as possible.

"What did she do?" Scratch that theory.

"She popped out of nowhere, insulted me, mentioned something about you and her father, cursed me, and left." Aoshi sighed. "Man, I hate it when that happens." Kenshin's eyes widened.

"She cursed you? How?"

"Whenever anyone asks me a straight question, I have to answer it completely. I have no control over what I say."

"Hmm, interesting… How old are you?"

"32"

"Can you really not drink sake?"

"I can, but I hate it."

"Are you gay?"

"NO!" Kenshin fell over laughing.

"Wow. You're much worse off than sessha was."

"Than you were? You fixed it?"

"Mm, not exactly. Mine was different. I could hear thoughts of any girl."

"Whoa. That's useful." Aoshi commented thoughtfully.

"And darn annoying. But mine went away after I got hit in the head with Kaoru's cooking. I wouldn't recommend that, though."

"I guess not. That doesn't solve my problem."

"So the problem is you can't hide anything? Sessha can see why that could get you in trouble."

"Hai. Especially with Misao." Kenshin turned wicked eyes on him.

"How do you really feel about Misao-dono?" At that moment Aoshi could have cheerfully pounded Kenshin's head in.

"I'm not entirely sure. She will be a great ninja someday soon, but she's so young."

"Kaoru's quite a bit younger than me." Kenshin pointed out.

"But…"

"Aoshi, you're going to find out that we men have very little say in such matters. It's Misao-dono's decision to moon after you, you just have to decide how to react." He said, sounding 10 years older instead of two younger.

"I don't have a say! Everything just falls out of my mouth!"

"Ah. I believe I have the answer to that, as well." Kenshin reached inside his gi and pulled out…

"Duct tape?" The redhead nodded.

"A thousand and one uses and still counting."

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Aoshi was alone in his room again, staring at the roll of duct tape in his hands. How in Buddha's name is this supposed to help? He froze as an extremely familiar ki crashed into his door.

"Aoshi-sa- ow!" Aoshi started sweating. What now?

The door opened. "Aoshi-sama?"

"Hai." He refused to turn around.

"Kaoru-san and I are gonna try to sneak into the Imperial Palace!" Aoshi choked. "No, really! I bet we get into the emperor's rooms! What do you think?"

And Aoshi realized what the duct tape was for.

He ripped off a piece and slammed it over his mouth. "Mrmfffnmmph." Misao giggled and left.

"Seeya!" Aoshi took a deep breath through his nose and ripped off the tape.

"You will get caught and I'll have to come and bail you out. Again. Ow." He rubbed his mouth. "I guess I'll have to thank Battousai." He tucked the tape into his sleeve.

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A thousand apologies to my loyal readers for such a long hiatus. Between moving and writer's blocks and night school somehow I came up with this chapter. Again, sorry so late. Anyway, next up we have: What the Miso Says, Aoshi's Adventures with Kaoru's Cooking. Ah, I can taste the torture already.