Disclaimer: I own the action figures, but not the actual character of the LOTR trilogy. Or any of the places either. Life's cruel...

VERY IMPORTANT A/N: I AM CHANGING THE TITLE OF THIS STORY TO MY FAVORTIE ACCIDENT. It fits the story better, I think. And I LOVE that song!

I am responding to your reviews now. And ifI getkicked off, I'll just come back and let you guys know.

Jaffee Leeds: Thanks! I was really nervous about putting this story online cause I thought no one would read it cause I hate writing beginnings. But that made me very happy and I'm sorry again for having anonymous reviews disabled!

MusicalCharlatan: I. Love. You. (not in a lesbian way) You are a very helpful person. But Kate really doesn't believe her quite yet, and Diana is unsure herself. But I should've explained that anyway. I was just in a rush cause I wanted to get the chapter up before the weekend was over. But you are awesome.

Elvin BlueEyes: Thanks, I didn't think that first chapter was really that good…

Lynx Yamato: I usually don't write like this, but I guess I will more often if you like it so much. I do have another story on the way…

Robyn: Yeah, it was obvious, but I couldn't have made him Michael Jackson just to throw you guys off so…oh well.

Sugarontop1: Yay! A Mary-Sue fan! Most Mary-Sue stories really aren't all that bad. And I updated so review again please!

Spewilicous: Your pen name makes me think of Harry Potter…But that's beside the point. Thanks for the review. They make me happy.

THECheeseTurkey: I guess Diana's not too much of a Mary-Sue. And I'm glad you read my story despite the fact it's a romance.

Fiona McKinnon: WOW. I thought you said PMS not PAMS. (I have dyslexia). But I still don't know what PAMS means…I feel dumb.

Emiline Grace: Cute? Thanks. Reviews make me a happy camper.

Song For Chapter: You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us in Prison by My Chemical Romance

Life is but a dream for the dead,
And well I, I won't go down by myself,
But I'll go down with my friends.


Chapter Three

"The air here is poisoned." Legolas said as we entered the apartment. Clothes shopping hadn't been a total failure, though I knew Kate thought that I was insane. At least Legolas wouldn't look like…well, himself anymore.

"Yeah, well, there isn't much we can do about it." I replied.

"Why not?"

"Mostly because people are greedy and don't care enough to do anything about it."

"I see."

"You know, we can't really go around calling you 'Legolas' while we're in public." I said, "People would think you're nuts and fangirls would stalk you."

"Fangirls?" Legolas looked at me funny, "What evil is this?"

"The most evil of Evil Things. Fangirls will stop at nothing to get what they want."

"What do they want?"

"Do you really want to know what they want?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am."

"Well…You."

"What!"

"They want you. See, there's this thing called a movie- it's moving pictures with sound- and you're in one and girls just LOVE you."

"I do not understand."

"Don't worry, it's not important." Was I going to have to care for two children instead of one? It was only two months until the baby was due. I couldn't teach Legolas everything about the world in just two months. There were twelve years of school he missed…not counting college… Why me?

Legolas jumped at a soft beep coming from the answering machine. He looked around the apartment as I sighed.

"Chill, it's just the answering machine." Again, he gave me that really confused-but really adorable- look. "It records people's messages…that they leave on the phone… which is something that-"

"Diana? You can't keep avoiding this! We have to talk about it! I know that the baby- our baby- is due soon. You can't keep me from my child no matter how hard you try." A shiver ran down my spine as the dial tone sounded.

"Who said that?" Legolas asked, "Why are you so tense? Who do you fear?"

"Nothing…no one." I said, "It's nothing."

"I will press the subject no longer if it discomforts you."

"Thanks." No one ever said that before. It was always 'you have to tell us, Diana, it's part of the healing process…' I felt very relieved. For once. Just then, the phone rang. I was hesitant in picking it up, but I did anyway.

"Hello?"

"We're coming over." I sighed inwardly when I heard Kate's voice on the other end.

"Okay…why?"

"Because I don't trust him. He could kill you in your sleep or try to hurt you or something."

"I would never harm you in any way!" Legolas said a little too defensively. I was surprised he could hear what Kate said. She was whispering.

"Well, he just assured me that he would never harm me in any way, so never fear."

"Wait-did he hear me!"

"Yes…"

"Holy crap on a stick… I'm still coming over though."

"Fine."

"You better have food or Dave'll kill you."

"I'll run to the store."

"Okay bye." Kate hung up and I set down the receiver.

"Who is this Dave and why does he want to kill you?" Legolas asked. He found his bow and had and arrow already notched on the string.

"Don't take everything so literally. Dave is Kate's boyfriend and he would never even think of killing anyone let alone me. It's just an exaggeration." I picked my purse off the counter and headed for the door, "I have to go to the store to get a few things-wanna come?"

"If you wish…"


"I have the perfect name for you when were in public," I said to Legolas as we walked down the street, "I'll call you 'Orlando'."

"That is an odd name." He replied.

"So is 'Legolas'."

"Why that one?"

"Well, remember those movies I was talking about?" I continued on at his nod, "Well, people here have jobs as actors- they get paid money to play a character in a story- and there is a story about your world and the guy who plays you is named Orlando Bloom."

"I think I get it…" I laughed a little as we walked through the doors. The grocery store was filled with grandmas and mothers and their children. We roamed the aisles for a while. I was explaining everything to Legolas- what a grocery store was, what the different foods were, and how money worked…you know, stuff like that.

"This is Jell-O." I held up a small box of raspberry Jell-O in front of his nose. "You mix the powdery stuff inside with hot and cold water and stick it in the refrigerator for a while and then you eat it."

"This is all so strange…"

"Well, Jell-O was really invented because-" I recognized the back of that head. Dark hair. A small tattoo on the back of his neck. Those dark brown eyes.

It was Jason.

I quickly ducked behind the shelves, careful of my bulging belly, and pulled Leggy-Boy down with me. He was taken aback by my sudden actions.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Not so loud! Get back up and look around for a guy with brown hair and a weird looking tattoo on his neck." Legolas stood up for a few moments. A passerby gave me an odd to which I responded with a wave.

"I see him." Legolas whispered. "What is wrong?"

"Just tell me when he leaves!" I hissed. I waited a little bit, praying to God that Jason would have a craving for Jell-O…

"He is gone. It is well." He offered me his hand and I gratefully took it. I ignored his questioning stare and walked to the checkout counter.

Why was he here?


"So…" Kate, Dave, Leggy and I were seated at my kitchen table eating our dinner of tacos. Legolas had some trouble with them, but he got the hang of it after a while, "How'd you say you got here again?"

"I was in the forests of my home-"

"And where is your home?" Kate asked. I felt like I was bringing home my boyfriend to meet my parents for the first time.

"Greenwood."

"Do you mean Mirkwood?" Dave asked. Legolas stopped in mid-chew and stared at Dave.

"You know of Mirkwood?"

"A little bit." Dave replied.

"Some call it 'Mirkwood', but some of my people still call it Greenwood."

"Have you ever heard of someone called Gollum?" Dave seemed extremely interested.

"No, Legolas said, "I have not."

"Really?" Dave put down his fork- which usually never happens- and stood up. "Diana, can I talk to you…in the hall?"

"Okay…" I didn't know where this was going, but if Dave abandoned his meal for it, then it had to be important. I followed him out of the apartment and down the hall. "Dave, where're we going?"

"I want to be out of ear shot of elf boy."

"Oh."

"Look, he doesn't know about the war yet so-"

"What war?" I asked.

"The War of the Ring…?"

"Doesn't ring a bell." Who in their right mind would want to start a war over a ring?

"From The Lord of the Rings…?"

"You're not serious! You don't really think he's an elf, do you?"

"And you don't?"

"No! Of course not!"…right?

"You do, you just don't want to admit it. You know believe him somewhere in your subconscious mind."

"Yeah, right…"

"If you don't believe him, then why are you letting him sleep on your couch?" Dave had a point…

"Okay, fine!" I sighed, "I do believe him."

"Good." Dave ran his hand through his hair, "Anyways, before you so rudely interrupted me, I was saying how you CANNOT tell Legolas what happens in the books."

"Why?" I asked, "I haven't read them or anything."

"If you did, it could change the outcome of the war." I raised an eyebrow. "Look, in the second book, there's this guy, Boromir, and if he doesn't die like he's supposed to, he could try to steal the Ring from Frodo or something bad like that…"

He could've been talking about marsupials for all I knew.

"Ummm…sure?"

"If you go to the movies, just don't go see The Fellowship of the Ring, okay?"

"'Kay." We walked back to my apartment to find something that deeply disturbed me…

"Holy hell, Kate! What're you doing!"

"Me and Leggy are just watching Laguna Beach…"


A/N: Okay…so I guess that chapter was kind of pointless, but I don't care. But review anyways. It'll make me feel better.

By the way, I'm probably only going to be able to update on weekends now cause of school. Yeah…it pretty much sucks.

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