Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything 'cept for my characters and a cardboard cut out of Leggy.
A/N: Sorry for the long wait. From now on, I'm going to try to get a chapter posted each weekend. It's the only time I have to post things.
Jaffee Leeds: Sorry about the swearing! It's just that Diana swears when she gets mad or when she's talking about Jason. And you'll just have to wait and see about the baby…
Fiona McKinnon: Thanks for telling me what PAMS meant. I'm using it now and I don't feel dumb anymore.
Musical Chartalan: I can't really picture Leggy watching Laguna Beach either, but it made me laugh. I am glad for clearing the disbelieving factor too. This chapter kind of gives more insight to why Diana's letting Legolas stay
Manwathiel: Thanks for the review! And I think you are very good at cackling.
Sweet as lemonz: Ha ha ha… nice pen name. And here is the next chapter!
Coolio02: I put some more ghetto talking in this chapter, and there is only more where that came from. And it definitely was a good thing he didn't see her. Thank for the review, homeslice!
nd!a: Thanks, that makes me want to write another chapter right now, but I can't. It's getting late and I have to get up early tomorrow morning.
.nArIan.: Aww, you are too kind. Thanks!
Elvin BlueEyes: Thanks again for the review. I like committed reviewers. They make me happy.
Georgianna: I updated so make up your mind, please! And thanks for the review!
Song for Chapter: Going for the Gold by Bright Eyes ( 3 Conor Oberst! 3)
They will detail their pain
In some standard refrain.
They will recite their sadness
Like it's some kind of contest.
Well, if it is, I think I am winning it,
All beaming with confidence
as I make my final lap.
"How does it work?" Legolas had sat himself down in front of the T.V. and had stayed there for at least three, mercilessly long Laguna Beach episodes.
Again, WHY ME?
"If I tell you I'm going to turn it off," I said impatiently. I was trying to keep track of how many times they say 'like' in one episode, but I lost count after 165.
"Alright." I quickly pressed the power button on the remote and the screen went black. Legolas's brow furrowed, and I must say, he looks extremely adorable when he does that. "What kind of magic is this?"
"It's not magic, it's science." I said, " Tons of little different colored light flash onto the glass to make a picture. And the lights move to make the picture move. It's really complicated."
"I think I understand…" Legolas was so close to the screen that it was just a few inches away from his nose. He looked on the side and found the buttons. Fortunately for him, he learned how to turn it on. Unfortunately for me, I suffered through another episode of 'He-said-she-said' clearly staged drama.
But Legolas soon lost interest and began looking through the many books on my bookshelf. I turned off the tube and followed him. He picked up a bright colored book from my youth and I blushed a little bit.
"Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging?" He looked at me inquisitively. "What is a thong?"
"Nothing that you need to know about!" I grabbed the book from him and threw it over my shoulder. Hopefully he wouldn't find the Kama Sutra book Kate gave to me as a gag gift for my last birthday…(I haven't read it! I SWEAR!)
"What's this?" Legolas held up a small brown photo album that had collected a lot of dust. Before I could stop him, he opened it, and at that moment I wished he had found the Kama Sutra book instead. "This is the man from the store…?"
"Yeah," I looked at the photo. It was the one of Dave and I just after we got engaged. I had my hand right in front of the camera to show off my ring. I was so happy at that moment. If I'd had known that things would go so horribly wrong, I would never have said yes. "His name is Jason."
"Why do you fear him so much?" Legolas looked like he was actually concerned…about me. Of all people.
"I…well," I put my hand instinctively to my stomach, and Leggy seemed to pick up on the vibe.
"Is he the father?" I just nodded my head. This is a big issue with me, okay? I've talked about it so many times with practically everybody on the planet! But, for some really strange reason, I kind of wanted to tell him.
"Why do you fear him so?" This time, his voice sounded more like tell-me-now-or-I-might-explode than before. "Doe he mean you harm?"
"I don't know." I plopped myself back on the couch, "He kind of went berserk on me one night when he came home…drunk."
I honestly couldn't believe I was telling him all of this.
And I couldn't believe he was actually listening.
"I don't know what happened exactly…he just…well, he just hit me. And I ran."
"He hit you?" Legolas said. He seemed very shocked and surprised. Obviously, this never happens where he comes from.
"Yeah…a lot of husbands beat their wives in this- and other- countries." Legolas' jaw dropped a little, "Sometimes, it's for cultural reasons, other times, it's just because of alcohol or some mental illness."
"I could never imagine my father beating my mother." He shivered.
"Wish I could say the same."
"Why did he hit you?"
"I don't know… he was drunk, like I said. And I was already packed by the time he came home from the bar and it made him angry."
"I am sorry." He was sorry? For what? Since when did anyone ever really, sincerely apologize to me? Those words, put together in one sentence, were so foreign to me. I almost even started to cry. I had the lump in my throat and everything.
"Umm…" I gulped and turned away from him before he could notice the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks, "Do you want some ice cream or something?"
"Ice cream?"
"Yeah," I stood up and walked over to the freezer, "It's this stuff that's frozen to make it cold…. and you eat it."
"Your food choices here are very odd." I smiled as I scooped some chocolate ice cream into two bowls. Mmm…chocolate…
Sorry…
"Not again…" I HATE morning sickness.
I dashed from my room to the bathroom, and deposited my stomach contents into the toilet. I jumped a little when Legolas appeared in the doorway. I didn't even hear his footfalls.
Maybe it was because I was gagging as loud as…two gagging things.
"Are you alright?" He asked, kneeling by my side. Can we spell embarrassing?
"Yeah…" more stomach acid fell from my mouth, "…morning sickness." Legolas took a stray lock of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, which only added to the embarrassment factor. But he can be so sweet sometimes. He stayed with me until the sickness passed. When it did, I laid back on the floor and stared at the ceiling, feeling too awkward to say anything.
"Sorry," I said, finally breaking the silence.
"It is quite alright," he smiled, "Many a time I have had to deal with drunk men…and sometimes women."
"Really? Drunk women?" I arched an eyebrow. Was Legolas secretly nymphomaniac or were all she-elves party girls?
"Yes, my cousins are quite the…wild types."
Well, there goes all my dirt on this seemingly perfect elf Adonis…
"What is your home like?" I asked, "You never really talk about it."
Instantly, Legolas' smile changed to a slight frown, and it was obvious that he was trying to hide some sort of sadness. I felt my heart drop along with his. Hey, you try to be happy when a certain elven prince is homesick.
"I'm sorry," I said quickly, "You don't have to talk about it if it makes you sad."
"No," hurt was evident in his voice, "You told me your memories, painful ones at that, so I will tell you mine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," He sighed and continued, "My home, Greenwood, was once a grand forest filled with green trees, sparkling streams. I remember playing in the trees as an elfling. It was a wondrous forest…but then, a darkness fell over the forest…and my kin were forced to take shelter in the caves. Sauron, the Dark One, inhabited Dol Guldur, and the forest was plagued by evil. It became known as Mirkwood."
"Who's Sauron?"
"He is the deceiver."
"Okay…not helping."
"We do not speak of him too freely, and I would rather not."
"Oh. Sorry."
"It is alright." He eyed me suspiciously. What, did I have some regurgitated sandwich on my chin? I checked. Nope.
"What?" I said. I hate it when people stare at me, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You are very quick to apologize-even for things that are not at your fault. Why?"
"I don't know." I wasn't about to get into that whole deal right now, "I just do."
"It's odd."
"Well, let's get out of here. Sitting on the bathroom floor isn't exactly what I call a good place to chat." He helped me up off the floor. Did I ever mention that he was the nicest guy I had ever had the pleasure of meeting? I'm pretty sure I did.
"Legolas, are you alright?" I noticed he seemed a little paler than before. Was he sick?
"I am not sure. I am not supposed to be sick, but I do not feel well." I sat him down on the couch. I started freaking out then. I thought about taking him to a doctor, but then thought against it, as they would probably think I was nuts for claiming that he was an elf.
"I'm going to call Dave," I said as I dialed the number. The phone rang for a while, and I worried that he was not home. Finally, I hear his voice on the other end.
"What up, dawg?" I really wished he would stop talking ghetto…
"Can elves get sick?" I asked.
"No. Elves are immortal. They can only die by the sword, a broken heart, or if they simply lose their will to live."
"Well, something's wrong with Legolas." I looked over to where he sat on the couch. He was even paler. "Something's seriously wrong with him."
"Let's go to the park."
"Dave. Legolas is sick. We can't go gallivanting through the park while Legolas is suffering for some unknown reason!"
"No, Diana, Legolas is a wood elf. Wood elves LOVE the woods. Hence the name- Wood elf."
"So if we take him to the park, he'll be okay?"
"Yes," Legolas replied, "I miss the trees."
"Well, it's settled then." Dave said, "Kate and I will pick you guys up in a half hour."
So a half hour later, Legolas and I were sitting in the back seat of Kate and Dave's car. Legolas was playing with the window, amazed at how it went up and down at the touch of a button.
"What kinds of trees are in this park?"
"I don't know," I noticed that just at the idea of seeing trees again made Legolas feel much better. He had regained some of the color back in his face.
A pale Legolas isn't the way I prefer my Legolas, but he still looked ten times better than any other man on the planet, even when he was sickly…
Back to the story…
"We're here." Dave pulled into the small parking lot beside a playground. Legolas fumbled with the door at first, but after a couple tries, he managed to get it open. He almost literally jumped out of the car and sped off towards the trees, followed by Dave.
"Dave," I called as Kate helped me out of the car, "Please keep an eye on him until we catch up with you!"
"Fo'shizzle, homeslice!" Legolas and Dave disappeared into the woods.
"Diana?"
"Yes, Kate?"
"Why exactly are you letting him stay with you?" Oh no. Here we go again…
"I don't know." I sighed. I seemed to be saying those three words a lot since elf boy dropped by. But I really didn't know. I just had a feeling that I was supposed to. Of course, that would seem completely crazy to Kate though, so I just couldn't tell her.
"Yes you do!" she argued, "If anyone would know, it would be you."
"Okay," I warned, "but it's gong to sound stupid."
"You're not in love with him, are you?"
"No!" Ha ha ha… "I just have a good feeling about him, alright? He doesn't seem like the type that would want to hurt anyone, let alone me."
"Come on! He could just be pretending! He could kill you in your sleep!"
"Kate, I don't think so."
"I'll tell you why you're letting him stay." She looked at me with a triumphant look on her face. This should be enlightening…
"Why am I letting him stay?"
"Because you're lonely." She said, "Ever since Jason left, you haven't had much contact with anyone but Jason and I. You miss having someone around your house. Just admit it."
Can Kate read minds?
"Whatever…" We had just reached the woods when I heard someone scream…
"OH MY GOSH! GUYS, IT'S ORLANDO BLOOM!"
And so the chase begins…
Cliffie! Hahahhahahahhahahahahhaa! REVIEW. please?
