Disclaimer: I really do own Legolas. He's in my closet making friends with Jack Sparrow. NOT.
A/N: Sorry for the delay! I was really busy this past weekend. But this story has gotten 1013 hits! More reviews will be appreciated.
Fiona McKinnon: Aww, thanks. I love you're reviews now that I know what PAMS means.
Jaffee Leeds: I would be to shy to even be in the same vicinity of Orlando. Don't feel bad.
Guinn Pern: Yay! A new reviewer! Thanks for reading and don't stop reviewing or I'll…cry.
Crecy: Yay for snickering! Well, I don't know if he'll be traumatized…but I guess he would be after an event like that, so yeah. He'll be traumatized.
Lynx Yamato: I like making people crack up. Thanks.
Laer4572: Thanks for adding this to your alerts. I feel extra special!
Georgianna: YES! I've hooked another one!
Chicky Poo: Hahahahhahahahahhaa…your pen name makes me laugh. (Inside joke with a friend of mine) Anywayzzzz…I am updating, so REVIEW.
ElvinBlue Eyes: Muchas Gracias. I didn't think this chapter was all that great, but if you guys think so…then…whatev.
Phantom of the rock era: Well, you MUST review for my story. Well, only if you want to. I won't force you. And sorry bout the cliffie.
Sweet as lemonz: Bwahahaha! Thanks for reviewing. And I hope you like the chase.
Nasuada Moon: Oh. My. Gosh. Have you ever read Eragon? Or am I jumping to conclusions? It's a wonderful book by the way so if your looking for a good read, I suggest that book.
Phantom'sBandieJediGirl: Don't worry, I won't abandon the story. EVER. I don't think pregnant women are allowed to run…but elves are. And it's kind of a long story of how I got the idea of a pregnant main character. But I will tell you this: When you mix pixie stix and Milky Ways, you're bound to get some crazy ideas…
Yuhi-thedoerofevildeeds: Thank goodness for me? ME? I feel so incredibly LOVED! You are too cool.
That only took up a page… And it's the condensed version.
Song for Chapter: Time to Dance by Panic! At The Disco
When I say shotgun, you say wedding
Shotgun, Wedding,
Shotgun, Wedding,
Well she didn't choose this role,
But she'll play it and make it sincere,
So you cry, you cry,
(Baby, give me a break)
But they believe it from the tears,
And the teeth right down to the blood,
At her feet,
Boys will be boys,
Hiding in estrogen and wearing aubergine dreams,
(Baby, give me a break)
Chapter Five: Dodging the Fangirls… and Guy
"Can I have your autograph?"
"Will you marry me!"
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!"
"PLEASE come to my school dance with me!"
"Boxers of briefs?"
"SHUT UP!" I yelled over the shrieks and giggles of the girls. Gosh, they were incredibly loud! "You've got the wrong man."
"I know my Orlando," said Blondie #1, "And this is definitely him." She grabbed his arm, and Legolas just looked at me with a look that said, 'Get these anorexic dyed blondes off of me!'
Did I ever mention that that very look was SO cute?
Anyways, the moment her fingers curled around Leggy's wrist, I was enraged. I pried her fingers away (It wasn't as easy as it seems, she had a death grip.) and stepped in front of him. A collective 'oooooooohhhhh' was heard throughout the crowd of the little middle schoolers.
And that's when I noticed there was a guy amongst them.
Okay….
"Back off." I said, "You're only, what, twelve? Whereas my friend here-who is definitely NOT Orlando Bloom is…how old are you anyway?" I whispered to him.
"2,931." He looked totally serious too.
"Whereas my friend is only twenty-three."
"Love knows no ages!" said straight-as-a-circle boy.
"You can't even be in love!" I argued, "You don't even know who he is!"
"He's Orlando!" said a girl wearing a shirt that said 'Things under shirt may be bigger than they appear.' I'm not even going to comment on that one.
"HE IS NOT!"
"Who cares!" said Blondie, "He's freakin' HOTT!"
"Way hotter than Steven from Laguna Beach!"
"I LOVE that show!" Kate chimed in.
"Not. Helping." I said through clenched teeth. Will these poor excuses for girls ever give up?
"Why are you so jealous anyway? Is he like the father or something?" I cannot begin to describe how much I hated these girls- and guy- right then.
Or how red I got.
"NO! But that's not the point! You all are gonna have to find a new, more pubescent and pimply date to your dance because he isn't going. So go home and cry to Ben and Jerry!"
"Hey!" said Mr. Thang, "Where'd he go?" I turned around only to see that Legolas had in fact disappeared. Those elves are sneaky.
"FIRST ONE TO FIND HIM GET'S TO TAKE HIM TO THE DANCE!" The little rugrats sped off in different directions. I cursed under my breath. I couldn't run at all. I didn't want a jiggled up baby.
I suddenly had the mental image of a shook up soda can spewing soda everywhere.
"Dave, Kate, split up and find him before…they…do." I said.
"Fo'sho, dawg!" Dave ran off, as did Kate. I didn't want to stand around feeling useless, so I joined the hunt but at a much slower pace. I walked through the trees, hearing the occasional 'ORLANDO!'. How I hate middle schoolers.
I was starting to get worried as I got further into the woods. The shrieks of the fangirls seemed more distant with every step I took. There was still no sign of him. I started to scare myself by remembering select scenes from Friday the Thirteenth. In excruciating detail.
I have a bad habit of doing that at the worst times.
So I was walking along the path, which was getting thinner and harder to see. Leaves soon began to cover it, and then some twigs, and then some small bushes. I thought he wouldn't have gone this far into the woods, so I started to turn around when a hand came down on my shoulder.
"OhmyGod!" I screamed. But it was only Legolas.
"I am sorry," He said, "I did not mean to frighten you."
"It's okay," My heart was slowing returning to its normal pace
"Were those people the…fangirls?"
"Yeah. See what I mean?"
"I couldn't stand all the shrieking. They were treating me as if I was some sort of…object."
"That's America for you." I heard another fangirl call, "We should get out of here before those little urchins find us."
"Can we stay a little longer?" Who could say no to those amazingly gorgeous blue eyes?
"I guess…" I followed him deeper into the woods, much to my dismay. We walked in silence until he just stopped abruptly.
"I feel like I know this tree…" He said. And then he scaled the tree faster than…the fastest monkey in the world. He stayed up there for a while. It was hard to see him with all the branches in the way.
"Legolas?" I called, "What're you doing?" And then he was suddenly down on the ground. He hadn't even disturbed any of the branches. Not a leaf fell to the ground. He was SO weird.
"Look," Legolas held in his hands a dagger, a necklace and a ring, "I put these in that tree."
"What?"
"This was my father's," He showed me the dagger. It looked very worn-like it was from the middle ages, but the jewels still remained in the hilt. "And this was my mother's," Next was the necklace. It was a silver choker with an emerald in the middle. It looked plain, but it was beautiful. "And this…was mine." The ring was also silver. Two leaves bordered the sides of an emerald, which was set in the middle.
"Wait a minute," I said, "Why is the dagger all beat up when the necklace and the ring look like they're brand new?"
"Because the jewelry was made of mithril."
Yeah, I definitely know what mithril is.
NOT.
"Mithril never wears. It is everlasting. And stronger than a dragon's hide." He stuck the dagger in his shoe and put the jewelry in his pocket. He looked very homesick at that moment.
"Do you want to stay longer?" I asked.
"No." He seriously looked really sad. We walked back in silence and caution just in case the fangirls and guy were still lurking about. When we finally reached the parking lot, we found Dave and Kate already in the car ready to go.
"THERE HE IS!" Oh crap. They were back.
"Quick!" I shoved Legolas into the car and got in as fast as I possibly could. Dave started the car and we drove off. I looked back to see the fangirls were still chasing us. "They're following us! GO FASTER!"
"We're already twenty miles over the speed limit!" Kate said. Then, Dave swerved suddenly into an alley, and we lost them.
"That was a close one, mate." Dave said.
"Have you gone Australian now?"
"Right-o."
Oh dear Lord.
A/N: So this chapter was mainly for comic relief if you couldn't tell.I wasn't sure about the mithril part though. But it'sa fanfiction so deal with it.And if you didn't understand the part where she had the mental image of a shook up soda can spewing soda everywhere, well, I had that mental image when I was typing about having a jiggled up baby because…oh never mind. Just review already.
