Disclaimer: Still don't own anything familiar.

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. I really appreciated them. But now I am ready to write more, fortunately for you. Unfortunately for me, I have no idea when I'm going to get this done seeing as I have a swim meet tomorrow and It's late right now and Sunday I'm going to be pretty busy too. But we'll just see what day it is by the end of this chapter.

Elvin BlueEyes: Thanks for liking my story so much! And as for America once being Middle Earth, well, you'll just have to see about that.

Laer4572: I thought the fan boy was a nice touch. And ice cream is always a good way to deal with horrible situations.

Lynx Yamato: Thank you-o!

Georgianna: I'm lost. Why do you feel sympathy for me? And I will check out your story as soon as I can. All I can for now is update. I don't have time to read anything! GRRR!

Chicky Poo: Ah, elementary school…how I miss naptime. Anyways, I feel bad for Leggy too. And thanks for reviewing!

Phantom'sJediBandieGirl: It's okay that you're not an Orlando Fan. I am a recovering Orlando-holic. And Elijah is definitely hot. And I noticed that his eyes change colors too. It's weird.

Jaffee Leeds: Kate and Dave are quite awesome. They're based on two of my good friends. And Legolas never wears the choker. Just thought I should let you know that. And I'm sorry about the cliffie.

Animebishieluver: Bwahaha! It is cute. And I know that it's really dumb taking an elf to a zoo, but I was trying to make a point. Don't hurt me! And I'm updating.

Sweet as lemonz: Don't worry, all your questions shall be answered in good time.

Fiona McKinnon: Who doesn't love Dave? He's awesome. And I must try the foreign language syndrome on one of my friends sometime…

Yuhi-thedoerofevildeeds: It seems that everyone has a crush on Dave. Sorry, he's taken. I just like putting excerpts of songs before each chapter cause I LOVE MUSIC. And I'm continuing so don't hurt me!

Manwathiel: You'll just have to wait and see how those things got into the tree. So keep reading and reviewing and maybe you'll find out faster!

Guinn Pern: I love writing comic relief, so thanks! Sorry for the cliffie. It would have been too long if I kept going.

Nasuada Moon: HOLY CRAP! Who's your favorite character? I don't really have one. And I want the second book sooooooooooooooooooooooo bad!

CMHValex: Thanks for loving my story! And exclamation points are always a good thing! And thanks for understanding.

Spewilicious: Maybe you roommate should read the story…and review. Just kidding! I'm REALLY sorry 'bout the cliffie! But I had too!

Luna Moonlight Fawn: Thanks for the compliments. And you must stick with me to find out what happens next! You have no choice!

Elvnchic9: Aaww, thanks! I love to write like this! I'm glad you like it. And PAMS means Please Add More Soon.

Chickenishcheese: Well, I updated so you are about to find out what happens next.

Song for Chapter: Listening by The Used (rock on Bert! And Quinn! And Jeph! And Branden! Argh, I love 'em all!)

I don't see anything now
So just say what you wanna say
It's kind of funny how I'm not listening anyway


Chapter Seven: Confrontations From Hell

"Hello?" I said quietly. Maybe it wouldn't be Jason. Maybe it would be Kate call me out on snapping at her in the car. Or Dave, telling me how he had tracked down the largest croc in the bush. If crocodiles actually lived in the bush.

But I was wrong.

"Diana? What the hell is your problem!" Jason's all too familiar voice sounded on the other end. "You never return any of my calls! And then I see you driving around with some random guy!"

"He's not a random guy!" I retorted, "He's a…friend."

"That's all he better be or I'll-"

"You'll what, Jason?" I asked. I was fed up with all of his crap. "You'll kill him? Or would you kill me?"

"Shut up," He said sternly.

"No. You always call me, you magically appear where ever I am! Jason, IT'S OVER. Just leave me alone!"

"I can't!" He screamed, "That baby is mine just as much as it is yours! We owe it to him to give him a family!"

"Bastard." I said, "I can't believe you. How could you even dare to bring MY child into this?"

"He. Isn't. Your. Child." Jason said through clenched teeth. "He's ours. And you know it! So stop being a bitch and just admit it!"

"No! I won't! You're being a prick! Do you think I would endanger my baby's life by letting him fall into your hands! I'm not stupid Jason! I won't let you anywhere near him!"

"Well that's just too bad Diana because I'm the real father. If you think you can take our child away from me, then you've got another thing coming."

"Jason, even if we went to court over the child the jury probably wouldn't really appreciate the fact that you're a drunk and abusive!"

"I'm going to be his father on way or another." And the dial tone came on. I slammed the phone into the cradle and paced the room. Now I was scared. What if he did find a way to become his father? The thought kept running through my head. The more I thought about it, the more I pictured Jason holding my child, the more furious and terrified I became.

"Diana?" I jumped. I had forgotten Legolas was even in the room.

"What?" I began to bite my nails. I only do that when I'm nervous or under stress or something like that.

"Calm down." I stopped and stared at him. Calm down?

"Calm down! How can I calm down when there's a raging psychopathic stalker coming after my child!" I shouted.

"I'll help you," He said, "There has to be some way to stop him before he does something stupid."

"You don't get it," I replied, "Jason is a stubborn bastard. He's determined. Once he's set a goal, NOTHING will stop him until he reaches it."

"But he has never dealt with me before." That much was true. But what can he do? Legolas hardly knows anything about the legal system, and if he means violence, then that just makes everything more difficult.

"Thanks, Legolas," I said, "But I don't think there will be much you can do to help." I walked past him to my room and laid down on my bed.

"But I can protect you," He said from the doorway, "And your baby."

"You're already in trouble with the police. I don't think it would be a good idea to go around causing more trouble."

"But you need my help." He said softly, but sternly, "You just don't want it."

"What makes you say that?" He was starting to bug me. He thinks he's sooooo smart sometimes and irritates me. But usually what he says is right, which irritates me even more.

"Because you like doing things for yourself, even though you can't ."

"Who says I can't!"

"I do."

"Thanks for having so much faith in me." I rolled over and faced the wall. I couldn't see him, but I could tell he had that smirk on his face. The one that he gets when he thinks something's amusing when it really isn't.

And then the phone rang again.

"I'll get it this time." Legolas walked over to the phone and picked it up, "Hello…? Leg-Orlando. I'm a…friend. Who? You're her mother?"

I jumped out of bed faster than a straight man waking up with a transvestite and grabbed the phone from him.

"Hello?" I said into the mouthpiece.

"Hello? Diana?" It was definitely my mother. Oh, what joy. "Who was that? Was that a man?"

"No mom, it was an elf." I was telling the truth.

"Be serious. It's almost Thanksgiving. Are you coming up this year?" Oh great. And the headaches keep coming. Thanksgiving with my family was horrible. My dad and my brother are always too busy watching football to pay attention to well…anything, my sister is the most pessimistic person in the world and my mom…well, you'll see soon enough.

"Yes mom." You mutter.

"Good. Try to be here around three. And you can bring your friend if you like."

"Okay mom."

"Bye."

"Bye mom." I hung up the phone and rubbed my temples. This was going to be a nightmare. If I didn't bring Leggy, my mom would be mad and my sister would rub it in my face because I didn't have a boyfriend.

Not that Legolas is my boyfriend.

….

And if I did bring him, my parents would interrogate him to no end. Then my mom would point out all the negative things about him and Legolas would probably hear and his feelings would get hurt and all hell would break loose.

"I would like to meet your family." Legolas said, "But what's a thanksgiving?"

"It's a special day where we celebrate the Indian's gift of corn to the pilgrims and the pilgrims gift of tuberculosis to the Indians." He gave me that funny look, "It's not important right now. But trust me, you do NOT want to meet my family."

"Yes I do."

"No, you don't."

"Yes. I really do."

"No, You really don't."

"I do."

"You Don't."

"Do."

"Don't"

"Why not?" He finally freed us from the never-ending chain of do-don't

"Because my family isn't like yours." I explained, "We're not royalty, for one. We're not too polite. And my mother is a psychopath."

"I can handle it." He smiled. ARGH! I can't say no to that smile!

"Fine. But you're going to regret it…"


"…and then my mom called, which definitely did not turn out well." I had called Kate and filled her in on the afternoon's events. "She wants me to bring him to Thanksgiving dinner."

"Bummer." She replied.

"Yeah. This is turning into such a nightmare."

"Well, are you going to bring him?"

"Yeah. He actually wants to come."

"Is it like a date then?" I paused before answering. Was it a date? "I mean, it's like the whole bring-back-to-mom-for-inspection deal, right?"

"Right…"

"So it's like a date."

"NO!" I said, "It's not. I don't like him like that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes…" Actually I wasn't sure at all. But a little white lie never hurt anyone.

"Whatever you say." Kate sighed, "Just come back in one piece. I gotta go. Dave's been watching the Crocodile Hunter marathon and now he's wrestling one of those alligator raft things." I heard a loud crash. "See ya."

"Bye." I thought about the whole date thing. It couldn't be like a date cause we weren't dating. And if we were dating, the fact that he was an elf would make the relationship harder. Not to mention the fact that I didn't think of him as a boyfriend. We're just friends.

Right?


A/N: Yay! I started this on a Friday and got it up on a Saturday! I'm proud.And just so you know, I was so close to making the person who was called Dave and not Jason, just to make yo all angry.But I decided there wouldn't really be a point indoing that so I didn't.And if there are any Pirates of the Caribbean fans reading this, I saw a preview for POTC: Dead Man's Chest on ET on MTV and it looks AWESOME!

Will: We can't leave Jack behind!

Jack: (being chased by the local natives) ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Will: Never mind let's go!

Arrrrr, I love a good pirate movie.

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