I didn't expect to become queen. My brother should have ruled for fifty or sixty years, and after his death his children would have been crowned. I should never have been anything other than a member of the family – a trusted advisor, perhaps, but no more.

Even at my brother's coronation we knew Jadis was growing more confident. Already there were areas of Narnia where honest people didn't venture, and the wolves were on her side. Perhaps we should have been more careful. Our ancestors were warned a long time ago that she would one day be a threat to Narnia, and they'd passed the message on through the years. At the same time, we knew that our line was failing, that we were the last humans. There had been accidents, and there have never been many of us. Humans don't find it easy to breed with nymphs and gods and stars, and with every generation we were losing a little more humanity and finding ourselves less fertile.

My brother and his wife tried to produce an heir, and they would have succeeded - she was carrying a child when they died. To all appearances it was a tragic accident – they were crossing the river when the bridge collapsed – but it seems unlikely that Jadis was completely uninvolved.

And so it was left to me to rule. I found myself a sprite to marry, a tall creature with happy eyes. I was always a little in awe of him, so slender and graceful compared to me, although I have a little sprite heritage myself. But then, I have a little heritage of all sorts. We tried for a child, and not just because we needed one for the throne. We wanted a baby to love.

I married him for duty, yes, but we did grow to love each other. He was a good husband to me, and he would always find a way to distract me from my duties when I grew too serious or unhappy, and take me out into the country I was guarding. He never let me forget how much I loved Narnia, and he constantly surprised me with the places he found. Tiny pools full of water so cold it hurt, even in the summer, that we'd dip our feet into and spring away, shrieking and splashing at each other. Little glades in the forest that looked like any other, until the light shone at a certain time and everything became a perfect shade of gold.

We never had our baby, and perhaps it was almost a relief when the time came for me to abandon all hope of fertility, although in truth we'd long realised that there would be no child. I sometimes wonder whether the people of Narnia blame me for letting my line fail, whether they believe me thoughtless or selfish.

I have been a widow for the last three years, and I started being an old lady before then. I hope I've managed to maintain some kind of dignity, and rule wisely, but finally I can feel the end approaching. I fear for my country, without a ruler, and I believe Jadis will take the opportunity to assume the throne. I do not think she will be a good queen, but I no longer have the strength to fight.

I tried, Narnia. I truly did.